Drive

by Gioertz, Karina

  ***

  Jordan watched Sawyer’s face as he tried to hide the pain behind his deadened expression. It didn’t matter what he did. She had seen all she needed to see the second he looked down into her tear streaked face.

  “I can’t just let them suffer like this for no reason,” she pleaded with him, but Sawyer just turned his back on her and walked away.

  “Let them suffer Jordan… you let them suffer, you let them live.”

  She stood there staring blankly at the TV, no longer taking in any of what the reporter was saying while tears quietly continued to run down her cheeks. She knew Sawyer was right even though it all felt so incredibly wrong. When she finally managed to pry her eyes from the screen she searched the room for Sawyer, but he was nowhere to be seen. Surely, Jordan would have heard if he had left the room. It took her a second to clear her head enough to take note of the sound of water running. It was coming from the shower. Relieved, she dragged her feet over the shabby old carpeting toward the bathroom. The door was only leaning against the doorframe so she rapped it once with her knuckles and then entered without waiting for his invitation.

  “There’s something I still don’t understand…why do they even think I’m dead in the first place? Do you think the people after you left some sort of a body for the cops to find?”

  Jordan could see his outline behind the shower curtain as he brushed the water from his face with his hands before he answered, “They could have…but they would have had to work fast to find a body similar to yours and then destroy it to the point it couldn’t be identified, plus, they would have nothing to gain from it other than another crime that could possibly be pinned on them in the long run.”

  “What if they did it as a trap, you know, to get me to call home?” she asked, but even before she heard the words she could see him shaking his head.

  “They know you’re with me and they know I would never let you do that.”

  Jordan heard the water shut off and watched as Sawyer’s hand reached out to pull back the shower curtain. If she hadn’t still been so pissed, she’d have thoroughly enjoyed the view of him standing there wearing nothing but the beads of water that rested on his muscular body and the mischievous grin that appeared on his lips the second he noticed she was no longer keeping her gaze at eye level. As it was, she was in no mood to have any thoughts of Sawyer that were even the least bit flattering to him.

  “Okay, well, since all of my ideas are apparently stupid, why don’t you tell me your theories then?!” she said sounding far too flustered given the conversation.

  Sawyer had just finished fastening a towel around his waist.

  “I never said your ideas were stupid. I just don’t think they’re likely. The truth is, I don’t know who would leak that kind of false information to the media. The only thing I keep coming back to is that they’re doing it to protect you,” he said moving past her in the doorway. Even though they didn’t actually touch, Jordan felt a rush of warm air tease her skin as he walked by. The scent of soap and fresh laundry reached her nose, and for just the briefest of moments she allowed herself to close her eyes and inhale him while his back was turned.

  “Protect me how?” Jordan asked, her anger fading with each breath she took in. It was as if he was some sort of a drug she was getting high on, hooked after just one taste. Pathetic, she scolded herself.

  “Because it would keep the wrong kind of people from looking for you if they thought you were already out of the picture, see?” Sawyer was busy talking to her reflection in the mirror while trying to examine his shoulder at the same time. He had considered asking Jordan to do it, but given her foul mood at the present he had opted against asking for any additional favors.

  She watched as he struggled with the bandaging for a bit, using only the one hand.

  “You look ridiculous,” she snorted after a minute. “Here, let me do it.”

  Jordan didn’t wait for an answer. She simply slapped Sawyer’s good hand out of the way and went straight to work. The wound was looking good all things considered.

  “So what now?” she asked after working quietly for some time.

  “We stick to the original plan. You make the call to my contact and we take it from there. His name is Gary, Gary Mortison. I started writing down what you need to say while you were still sleeping. You don’t have to get it word for word or anything; just enough so he can figure out that the message is coded.”

  Jordan watched as he broke away from her and walked over toward the bedside table to retrieve a small notepad and pen. He held it out to her and explained, “I worked my badge number into it, along with our location. It should be just enough for him to figure out where we are, but not enough for anyone else who may be listening, to understand.” He paused, hesitant to finish his thoughts out loud. “There’s one more thing.”

  Jordan frowned, “What?”

  Sawyer’s hand reached up to twist a strand of her long black hair between his fingers.

  “You’ll have to do something to alter you appearance. Your face has been all over the news. People are going to get confused if they see you walking around alive and all.” He dared half a grin and Jordan hated the fact that it was contagious enough to make her smirk in spite of herself.

  “What do you expect me to do with this?” she asked, grabbing a fist full of her thick dark hair. “I mean, I can dye it every color under the rainbow, but it’s not likely to show up, unless I bleach it, and honestly, I’d rather people think I’m a walking corpse than a blonde.”

  Sawyer just shrugged and said, “I don’t know. Be creative.”

  “Oh, okay,” Jordan replied in a sarcastic grumble. She turned to face her reflection as if the mirror would tell her what to do. She knew she had at least one option. Cutting her hair would make a big difference. Few people knew that her straight hair actually had quite a bit of natural curl to it which only increased the shorter she wore it. It was a start, but it wouldn’t be enough. Jordan took three long strides to reach her bag on the other side of the room. She could feel Sawyer’s eyes resting on her as she searched through her stuff, but she didn’t look up. The first thing she pulled out was a pair of scissors. Next, she located the hydrogen peroxide. Jordan made a face just thinking about the prospect of becoming a blonde. Not that there was anything wrong with that particular hair color, it just wasn’t her. It had never been her. And it wasn’t about the associations people made between blonde women and stupidity that made her feel so adamantly about not wanting to dye her hair that color. In her mind, there was a softness about a shade so fair that she simply couldn’t relate to and rather than keep her hidden from view, she feared her own awkwardness and feelings of inadequacy would make her stand out so much so, she might as well just dye each strand of her hair a different color.

  About to succumb to the prospect of becoming what she feared, she suddenly caught sight of the iodine. She had no idea if it would work, but it was certainly worth a try. Feeling encouraged by her unexpected triumph over the hair fiasco, Jordan grabbed her supplies along with a fresh set of clothes and disappeared into the bathroom. When she emerged an hour and a half later, her hair had been chopped up to her shoulders causing it to curl wildly around her head. While her roots were still as black as they had ever been, she had successfully bleached and then dyed her tips a rusty red. While it was eye catching in a way, it still managed to change her general appearance enough to make her less recognizable. Sawyer gave a loud whistle of approval when he saw her.

  “Wow.”

  “You told me to be creative,” Jordan shrugged.

  “Indeed I did,” said Sawyer coming closer to get a better look. Jordan noticed that he was wearing a new shirt. This one wasn’t ripped or bloodstained.

  “Where did you get that?” she asked tugging at the material with her fingers.

  “I might have wandered into a room or two while housekeeping had the door open. Found a new jacket too,” he said pointing at a leather coat on th
e bed.

  “Thief,” Jordan muttered.

  “Enabler,” Sawyer mumbled back. He was resting both of his hands on her waist, steadily holding her against him as he leaned in and kissed her. Jordan closed her eyes, drowning out the real world and numbing herself to everything else. Sawyer was a drug, a damn good one at that.

  Chapter 7: Instincts

  Jordan and Sawyer had packed up what little belongings they had and taken off on foot in search of a pay phone to use. Sawyer was ready to part ways with the truck they had picked up on their way there, but wasn’t ready to borrow a new vehicle until they knew they were leaving town again. So, off they went, walking alongside the main road, but keeping to the tree line to remain out of sight as much as possible. The only time they stepped out, was to approach public places that might house a payphone. It struck Jordan as odd how hard it was to find a phone. She always remembered seeing them everywhere, but maybe that had been pre-cellphone era. Of course, now that she no longer had one of those and was searching for a public telephone, she became uncomfortably aware of how scarce they had become. Twice she had thought they’d gotten lucky, only to find that the small booth had been gutted.

  At last they found what they were looking for in the back of an old diner. Initially, Sawyer had gone in alone to see if it would even be necessary for Jordan to come in, but once he found what he was searching for, he gave her the go ahead to follow him inside.

  Jordan nodded briefly at the hostess as she walked in.

  “Restrooms?” she asked, knowing the young woman would direct her straight to Sawyer.

  A few seconds later she was standing by the phone dialing the number he had written down for her. She glanced down at the crumpled up note resting in her fingers. Her hands were shaking from the adrenaline making it hard for her to read what it said. Not that it mattered. She had been reciting the whole thing in her head for the last hour; she was merely staring at the paper for something to focus on other than the crowd of people in the diner. Jordan knew she was being paranoid, but she couldn’t help but feel like every pair of eyes in the place had come to land on her. She could feel the restaurant’s walls closing in on her and was about to hang up the phone and make a run for it when she heard a click in the line and a man’s voice on the other end.

  “Detective Mortison.”

  That was her cue. Just like that, the switch flipped and Jordan moved into action. The adrenaline had peaked, the game had begun. With the quiet calm that came from standing in the eye of the storm, at the center of it all, she recited her speech just as she’d rehearsed it a hundred times before. When she was done, she hung up and walked straight into the ladies room the way Sawyer had told her to do. Jordan was to wait three minutes before making her exit. By then he would already be out in the parking lot behind the diner waiting to meet her.

  “How did it go?” he asked anxiously the second Jordan turned the last corner.

  “Alright I think. I mean, he didn’t say much, but he wouldn’t if he thought the lines were bugged would he?” Jordan replied, going over the conversation again in her mind.

  “As long as you said everything I wrote on that piece of paper for you, we’re good. He’ll know what to do now,” said Sawyer. He had already started walking again. Jordan took several hurried steps to catch up to him.

  “So what do we do now?”

  “Now we go back to the room and wait.”

  The walk back to the hotel seemed to go by considerably faster than it had before. Jordan wasn’t sure if it was due to the fact that they had a much more precise direction and were walking with more intent this time around or if it was because of the increasing anticipation she felt over what would be waiting for them when they got there. Would they send an undercover unit to pick them up? Would it be the FBI? What if no one was there? It was probably the most likely. Really, how fast did she expect Mortison to work? Jordan stared at the ground as it moved beneath her feet. What if no one ever showed up? There was still the possibility that Sawyer’s message had not been received as clearly as he had intended it to be. Jordan knew she wouldn’t have been able to decipher it if she hadn’t already known what the situation was. She looked up to try and get a read on Sawyer’s feelings. If he had any doubts at all, he wasn’t showing them. Jordan felt an unexpected comfort from witnessing his certainty. She trusted Sawyer. Enough to allow his confidence to dispel her fears. For now at least.

  ***

  Sawyer purposely kept his focus on the path ahead, avoiding eye contact with Jordan as he marched on. He couldn’t put his finger on it, but he had a nagging feeling that something was off. The last thing he wanted was for Jordan to see that he was worried. With everything else she was already dealing with, she didn’t need the added stress; especially if it was nothing more than paranoia. Not that he didn’t have every right to be paranoid. After what had gone down in the last forty-eight hours, Sawyer didn’t know who to trust anymore. He felt his hand turn into a fist and the subsequent pain of that action as it shot through his shoulder. If old Carmine had been a halfway decent shot, he’d be dead now instead of trying to figure out how to make sure Jordan survived the mess he had gotten her into. Sawyer didn’t know whether to be grateful or pissed that the Esposito’s had sent an old-timer to guard the boss’s wife. Of course, it had probably been Demi Esposito’s idea in the first place. With Carmine’s vision the way it was these days, she didn’t have to worry about getting caught while messing around with her husband’s nephew. Regrettably, they never actually got around to their date since the kid was already dead when Demi and Carmine pulled up. Unfortunately for Sawyer, this had been only seconds after he had found the kid lying in the alley bleeding out. Naturally, he had had his gun drawn, making him look particularly guilty. But, given the circumstances, his instincts had warned him to be prepared and Sawyer’s instincts hadn’t been wrong yet. Right now they were telling him that something was wrong. He couldn’t shake the feeling that something he couldn’t see yet, was coming right at them. What was worse, he felt as though he was leading them directly to whatever or whoever it was and he had no other choice but to stay on course. Gary was their only hope of getting out.

  ***

  Jordan couldn’t help but wonder what was going through Sawyer’s mind as they walked on in silence. On several occasions she opened her mouth to ask him, but she stopped herself every time before the words came out, afraid that she might disrupt an important train of thought. Whatever it was that had him looking so serious, he clearly wasn’t in the mood to share it.

  They were nearly all the way back to the hotel when Jordan spotted several patrol cars zooming past them at high speeds, lights flashing and sirens blaring. Sawyer took notice as well and his expression turned from serious to grim as he sped up, causing Jordan to double up her steps just to keep up the pace.

  “Why are you in such a hurry all of a sudden? I thought you said there would be waiting involved,” Jordan reminded him as she caught up and fell into step beside him.

  “I just don’t like all this commotion. It seems odd. The sooner we get back to our room and out of the open, the better.” He reached for her hand and held it tightly in his as they continued to move along. Jordan felt tempted to yank it back. It was always her first reaction when she felt as though she was being controlled in some way. Not that Sawyer had been controlling exactly. He certainly had that annoying ‘because I said so’ thing going on whenever he felt that he knew what was best. Maybe he did, maybe he didn’t, but that didn’t much matter to Jordan when she felt as though she was being treated like a two year old. Mostly, it just made her want to act like one. However, it occurred to her that this particular gesture had perhaps been less about controlling her and more so about keeping her close. Neither of them really knew what was waiting around the bend anytime they turned a corner. If he wanted to be the first one to find out so he could shield her, she would let him.

  They were coming up through the woods behind the motel parkin
g lot when the wave of flashing lights broke through the thicket, warning Jordan and Sawyer of what lie ahead.

  “Fuck me!” Sawyer cursed under his breath. He ducked down behind the closest wall of brush, yanking Jordan down and out of sight along with him.

  “What are they doing here? They can’t be here for us, can they? I mean, how could they have known?” Jordan’s voice was no more than a whisper, but it was steady.

  “Who was there when you checked us in?”

  “Just the woman working the desk? You think it was her?”

  “Must have been. She’s the only one that would think to call the cops. The Mancini’s certainly wouldn’t and Gary knows better than to send a Calvary of black and whites stampeding in here to give us away.”