Of Loss & Betrayal (Madison & Logan Book 2)

by S. H. Kolee

  I tried to suppress a smile because I didn’t think it was supposed to be funny. “I’m sorry. That must have been hard.”

  Mack laughed. “It was actually pretty funny. Even though she couldn’t remember me, she had all the spitfire that I remember so well while growing up. God help any telemarketers who actually try to call. She’ll put the fear of God in them.” His expression sobered. “As long as her spirit is there, I can handle her not recognizing me. It’s the days when she doesn’t even want to get out of bed that are hard for me to handle.”

  I started to reach out a hand to touch him in sympathy, but I stopped myself. I remembered how upset Logan had gotten when he had seen Mack’s hand on my arm. They seemed to be on good terms now, and Logan would probably be okay with it, but I decided it was better to be safe than sorry. I didn’t want anything to ruin today.

  As if on cue, the doorbell rang and I tensed. If anything could ruin today, it would be Kristina’s presence, but I had no one to blame but myself.

  Logan got up to get the door. Mack gave me a considering look when he was out of sight.

  “You look like someone just kicked your puppy.”

  I couldn’t help laughing at his comment, and it helped to relieve some of the tension. Before I could reply, Logan came back into the living room with Kristina. She smiled tentatively at me, nervously clutching a bottle of wine.

  “I think we have enough wine to open up our own liquor store,” Mack said with a grin. Kristina frowned at his comment, her frown deepening when she looked at the table and saw all the bottles of wine.

  “I’m sorry. I didn’t know what else to bring.”

  “Don’t listen to him,” I said, getting up and taking her bottle of wine to place with the others. “You can never have enough wine.”

  I was the one who had invited her, so I decided that being anything but gracious would be in poor taste. I could grin and bear it for a few hours.

  “Should we eat now?” Logan asked. “Everyone’s here.”

  “We might as well,” I replied. “The food will just get cold if we wait any longer.”

  Instead of each person sitting on one side of the table, I had grouped the chairs so Logan and I were sitting on one side, and Mack and Kristina were sitting on the other. Despite having invited her out of pity, I wanted to make it clear to Kristina that Logan and I were a couple.

  We started to place all the food on the table and Kristina and Mack made all the appropriate exclamations of appreciation. I couldn’t help feeling a little proud about the spread, especially since this was my first real attempt at making Thanksgiving dinner. After the turkey, mashed potatoes, candied yams, green bean casserole, roasted brussels sprouts, sweet corn casserole, and a few other dishes had been set on the table, we sat down to eat.

  “This is amazing,” Mack said in between bites. “And you said you weren’t a very good cook.”

  “Logan helped a lot,” I said, although I was gratified by his compliment. “I just don’t cook that much, so I wasn’t sure how well this was all going to turn out. My repertoire pretty much consists of Western omelets and spaghetti.”

  “That’s good enough for me,” Logan said with a smile. “I could probably live off those two things.”

  “And nachos,” I said with a wry grin. “Don’t forget nachos. And only if they’re the size of Texas.”

  “How could I forget about nachos,” he said, pretending to look aghast. “That should be added as one of the main food groups.”

  “I like nachos, too,” Mack said. Logan and I laughed at his comment, since he had no idea what we were referring to, but he looked happy at the notion of nachos.

  “Sorry, no nachos for Thanksgiving,” I said. “We’ll have to do without.”

  I glanced at Kristina and saw the pained expression on her face. My smile instantly disappeared. I remembered the first time she had been to the Half Pitcher and what Logan and I had done in the back room while she waited for us at the table, none the wiser. My stomach twisted at the thought, and the guilt that had propelled me to invite her over for Thanksgiving reared its ugly head again.

  “How’s work going?” I asked Mack, wanting to change the subject. “How much longer do you think you’ll be in Chicago?”

  “I’ll probably be leaving sometime next week,” he replied. “Although I might have to come back again next month.”

  “You’re just trying to finagle an invite to Christmas,” Logan said with a smirk. “Then you’ll be back in February for President’s Day.”

  “What’ll we have for President’s Day dinner?” Mack asked, pretending to be excited. “Nachos?”

  I rolled my eyes at them, but I enjoyed their lighthearted banter. I looked at Kristina, wanting to include her in the conversation, but I had a hard time coming up with a topic to discuss. Her failed suicide attempt and her desire to get back together with Logan weren’t exactly subjects we could discuss over dinner. I finally settled on work.

  “You work in advertising, right?”

  Kristina nodded her head. “Yes, I work for an ad agency as an account director.”

  “That must be exciting,” I remarked.

  Kristina smiled slightly. “It’s a lot of meetings, RFPs and scheduling. Not exactly fodder for Mad Men.”

  “I’m sure you see more action than I do,” I commented, “considering I usually work at home in my PJs. When I want to get really wild and crazy, I go to Starbucks and work.”

  I was surprised by Kristina’s laugh. It made me realize that we would have probably been friends if we had met under different circumstances. Even though I had resented her when Logan moved back to Chicago with her in tow, I hadn’t been able to deny that she had been a warm and friendly person. I wasn’t naïve enough to think that we could be friends now, but maybe we could become civil. Not that there was any need to be in contact again once she went back to L.A.

  We kept the topics neutral for the rest of dinner, and I found myself enjoying myself more than I thought I would. After we were stuffed full, we moved to the living room to rest and recuperate enough to tackle dessert later.

  Kristina sat in the armchair and Logan and I sat on the couch. I saw her avert her eyes when he put his arm around my shoulders, and I didn’t know how to feel about that. A part of me wanted her to see my claim on Logan, but the other part of me felt guilty for rubbing it in her face.

  Mack sat on the other side of me on the couch and flicked through the channels, settling on the football game. He propped his legs on the coffee table.

  “Are you going to unbutton your pants, too?” Logan asked with a raised eyebrow. “I wouldn’t want you to be anything less than comfortable.”

  Mack grinned unabashedly. “I want to, but I’m a gentleman. I wouldn’t do that in mixed company.”

  We watched the game in companionable silence, and I was amazed that I could feel so relaxed in Kristina’s company. I had been so on edge about her coming over for Thanksgiving, but things had turned out remarkably well. The multiple glasses of wine hadn’t hurt, either.

  “I’ll be right back,” I said, heeding the call of nature caused by all those glasses of wine. When I looked at my reflection in the bathroom mirror, I saw that my cheeks were flushed and realized I was a little bit buzzed. I ran my wrists under cold water, wanting to cool myself down.

  When I walked back into the living room, Logan stood up. “I think it’s time for dessert.” He nodded towards Mack. “He keeps patting his stomach and saying there’s room for something sweet. I think that’s supposed to be a subtle hint that he’s ready for dessert.”

  Mack just grinned at me and went back to watching the game. I laughed and followed Logan into the kitchen.

  “Can you get the plates?” I asked, taking out the apple crisp that I had kept warm in the oven, and setting it on the counter. I gasped in surprise when Logan whirled me around.

  Before I could ask what he was doing, Logan’s lips came crushing down on mine. Without thought,
I wrapped my arms around his neck, returning the kiss.

  “They need to leave after dessert,” Logan muttered against my mouth. “Unless you want an audience while I fuck you.”

  My pulse quickened from his words. “I didn’t know you were into that,” I joked, although I was breathless from the sudden passion.

  Logan straightened and frowned. “I’m not. I’d pretty much kill any man that saw you naked.”

  I rolled my eyes. “I was just kidding. Anyway, you’re the one who brought up having an audience.”

  “That’s why they need to leave,” he said.

  “Fine,” I said, shaking my head. “We’ll feed them dessert and then open the front door. They’ll probably get the hint.”

  “Now, you’re talking,” Logan said with a grin. “Let’s hurry up and plate up dessert.”

  I laughed at his eager expression. After we were done spooning out the apple crisp and vanilla ice cream, we carried the plates out to the living room. Mack’s eyes lit up when he saw dessert.

  “This is awesome,” he said after taking the first bite. “I’m definitely coming over for President’s Day dinner.”

  I laughed, gratified by his enthusiasm. Kristina nodded her head in agreement.

  “It’s really good. I hate pumpkin pie, so I was dreading having to eat a slice to be polite.”

  “Ugh, I hate pumpkin pie, too,” I declared. “People always act like I’m some kind of freak when I say I don’t like pumpkin pie. I don’t know anyone else who dislikes it.”

  Kristina smiled. “Finally, someone else with good taste.” She glanced down at my hand as I got another spoonful of dessert. “That’s a beautiful bracelet.”

  “Thanks,” I said. For obvious reasons, I didn’t want to get into who gave it to me, so I quickly changed the topic to the football game.

  After Mack had a second helping of dessert, he got up and stretched. “That was a great meal. Thanks so much. Unfortunately, I need to wake up early for work tomorrow so I should probably head out.”

  Kristina got up quickly, obviously not wanting to stay without Mack here. “I should go too.”

  Logan lost no time in ushering them out. He refused all their offers to help clean up and had them out in record time. As much as I had been relieved at how well today had gone, I was happy to be alone with Logan.

  I laughed when he grabbed my hand and pulled me towards the bedroom. “We should really clean up first,” I protested. Logan paid me no attention as he guided me into the bedroom.

  “At least let me use the bathroom,” I insisted. “I want to brush my teeth. I can feel myself getting cavities from all the sugar I ate.”

  “Okay, but don’t take too long.”

  I suppressed rolling my eyes and went into the bathroom off the bedroom. After I finished brushing my teeth, I opened the small box I kept on the counter to store my jewelry in for safekeeping while I showered. I froze, looking at the box disbelievingly. I had put my heart pendant in there earlier today after I had taken it off to wipe down since I had gotten some food on it while cooking. I had intended to put it back on after showering, but in my hurry to get ready before Mack and Kristina arrived, I had left it in the box. And now it was gone.

  I checked the counter and scoured the floor, thinking maybe I had dropped it, although I clearly remembered putting it in the box and closing the lid. Panic began to rise as I checked and rechecked every crevice in the bathroom. Where the hell was my necklace?

  “You’ve officially taken too long,” Logan called out from the bedroom. “I’m not opposed to carrying you out and throwing you onto the bed.”

  I opened the door and Logan’s grin vanished when he saw my face. “What’s wrong?”

  “My necklace. My heart pendant. It’s not in the bathroom where I left it.”

  Logan got up from the bed and came into the bathroom. “Are you sure? Where did you put it?”

  I pointed to the jewelry box. “In there. I know I put it in there, but now it’s gone.” I shook my head, confused. “Where could it have gone? It’s not like it just walked off on its own.”

  Logan froze. He turned to me, a worried expression on his face. “Kristina used this bathroom earlier.”

  “When?” I asked, my voice rising. “I would have noticed her going into the bedroom to use the bathroom.”

  “It’s when you were using the bathroom out there. She said she couldn’t wait, so I told her she could go ahead and use this bathroom.” Logan grimaced. “I’m sorry, Maddie. I never thought she would steal something.”

  A ball of anger was growing in the pit of my stomach. “That bitch. I can’t believe she stole my necklace. And then had the gall to sit there, shoving my dessert in her face, pretending not to be a thief.” I wanted to sit down on the bathroom floor and cry. “I can’t lose that necklace. I can’t. It’s my connection to Cassie.”

  Tears were rolling down my face, an ache in my heart at the thought of losing that necklace. It was the one thing that made me feel close to Cassie. “Does she know the significance of it?”

  Logan shook his head helplessly. “I don’t know. I certainly haven’t told her anything about it, but I don’t know what I’ve told her before I lost my memory.”

  Rage was quickly overtaking my sorrow. I stalked out of the bathroom, through the bedroom and into the hallway, opening the entryway closet and grabbing a coat.

  “Where are you going?” Logan asked, close behind my heels.

  “To Kristina’s hotel. I’m getting my necklace back from that bitch,” I said, shoving my arms into my coat.

  “Wait,” Logan said, grabbing my arm. “We’ve all had a little too much to drink. I don’t think it’s a good idea for you to go storming over there.”

  I shook his hand off my arm. “I’m fine. And I’m going.”

  “Maddie, wait.” Logan moved quickly so that he was between the door and me. “I’ll call her and talk to her. I just don’t want you to get hurt. A confrontation after drinking isn’t a good idea.”

  “You think she’s going to admit to stealing it?” I asked incredulously. I made a sound of anger. “This is what I get for trying to be nice to her.”

  “You don’t even know her room number,” he reasoned. “They’re not going to just tell you at the front desk. And if they call up to her room, it’s not like she’s going to let you waltz upstairs because she’ll know why you’re there.”

  I wanted to scream in frustration because he was right. Then I had an idea. “Mack must know her room number because he took her home the other night. I’ll ask him.”

  Logan sighed but was silent as I called Mack. My frustration grew when it went straight to voicemail.

  “I’ll call Kristina,” Logan said gently. “It’s probably better if I confront her.”

  “Fine, call her,” I said shortly. I crossed my arms while I watched him dial her number.

  “I knew she wouldn’t answer,” I snapped when he hung up the phone after it went to voicemail. “She knows why you’re calling.”

  “Why are you angry with me?”

  “I’m not.” All my anger deflated, replaced with heartache. “You just don’t understand. You’re not the Logan that understands. You didn’t know Cassie. Even though I’ve told you what happened, you can’t understand it unless you’ve lived through it. I need the Logan that understands.”

  I could feel Logan withdraw from me, both mentally and physically. “I’m still the same person,” he said in a flat voice. “Am I supposed to apologize for having lost my memory?”

  I made a sound of frustration. “That’s not what I meant!” I threw my hands up in irritation. “I don’t know what the hell I meant. I just can’t deal with this right now.”

  I stormed past him into the bedroom. I knew I was being irrational, but losing that necklace meant more to me than just losing a physical object. I felt as though a piece of Cassie’s memory had been stolen from me.

  I felt defeated and powerless and I didn’t know wh
at else to do but climb into bed. Tears slipped out and soaked the pillow beneath me, but I made no sound as I laid there. After a few minutes, I felt the mattress dip beneath the weight of Logan’s body and his arm snaked around me.

  “I’ll get it back for you, I promise,” Logan whispered as he lay down to spoon me. He kissed my shoulder tenderly. “I love you.” He breathed deeply. “I need that to be enough for you, even if I never regain my memory.”

  I turned around, tears continuing to stream down my face. I wrapped my arms around him, burying my face in his neck.

  “It’s enough,” I said, barely audible. “I love you, Logan.”

  We held each other until we fell asleep. I dreamed about Cassie. Dreams where we were carefree and laughing, convinced that together we could face anything. If only that had been true.

  Chapter Fifteen

  Despite feeling despondent over the loss of my necklace, I was still looking forward to seeing Emily the next day. Logan promised that he would get the necklace back for me, and I decided to let him deal with it. As much as I wanted to charge over to Kristina’s hotel and demand my necklace back, it would probably be less messy for Logan to handle it. I would trust Logan to get it back for me, and enjoy my day with Emily.

  “I’ll probably stay over Emily’s tonight,” I told him. “She promised to make her famous pumpkin pie martinis after dinner, and usually just one knocks me on my ass.”

  “I thought you didn’t like pumpkin pie,” Logan commented with a quizzical look.

  “Everything’s good when you add alcohol to it,” I said with a smile. “What are you going to do today?” Besides getting my necklace back, I added in my head.

  “I’m tired of the rental car so I’m going to buy a car today.” Logan paused. “I’ll get your necklace back today, no matter what it takes.”

  I gave him a tremulous smile. “I know you will,” I said, and kissed him goodbye.

  I met Emily on Michigan Avenue, and my mood instantly brightened when I saw her. I hugged her like I hadn’t seen her in months, which it felt like. There was nothing like a good girlfriend and retail therapy to help you forget about your problems.