Mr. Darcy's Forbidden Love

by Brenda Webb

  Entering the hallway from his bedroom, he turned to close the door when his aunt called out. Coming towards him from the other end of the corridor, a large smile crossed her face as she neared. It warmed his heart. She reminded him so much of his mother when she smiled at him in that manner.

  “Mr. Dutton told me you were ready,” Lady Ashcroft said, reaching to take one of his hands and pull him back into his room, though she did not shut the door entirely. She examined him thoroughly, from the slightly wet dark curls that spilt over the tanned forehead and that highlighted his clear blue eyes, to the black suit with burgundy waistcoat that he wore with exquisite black Hoby* boots, the kind her husband had always preferred.

  Swiftly kissing his cheek, she exclaimed, “You are a handsome man, Nephew.” At his shrug, she added, “But you look so much better now than when you arrived. Do you feel well enough to forego a nap before dinner so that you may have your talks with Georgiana and Miss Bennet?”

  “I fear this is no time to sleep.”

  She nodded, sighing with understanding before continuing. “Georgiana has just returned to her sitting room from the conservatory. She became even more worried when I told her that you had arrived from London to escort her back. I know she regrets having caused Marshall and Miss Bennet to be hurt, but as I said earlier she dreads facing you most of all.” She waited until his gaze met hers. “Remember what we decided when I became her companion—she is not allowed to sulk or to sink into melancholy. She must admit mistakes and move forward. Would you like me to be with you when you speak to her?”

  “No, I thank you.” William took a deep breath. “I have to deal with her disobedience and I shall, but—” He reflected a moment. “I shall attempt to do it with patience and love, as we have discussed.”

  She squeezed his hands. “I never doubted that, but remember that Georgiana can elicit sympathy with her tears, especially from you.”

  A wan smile lifted the corners of his mouth. “How well I am aware of that!”

  “Good, then go to her. She is waiting in there.” She pointed to a room across the hall. “It should not take long to make your feelings plain. Do not let her go on and on apologising. Afterward, explain to Georgiana that you must speak to Miss Bennet before dinner, as she deserves an apology for the injuries she suffered trying to assist her. Then leave her to consider all you have said. There will be time enough for you two to talk again after dinner, if you think it necessary.”

  William tried not to sound eager. “Where is Miss Bennet now?”

  “She is walking about the property. As soon as you are done talking with your sister, send a servant to find me and then go straight to the library. While you wait there, I shall find Miss Bennet and escort her to you. I think that meeting her again in the library will be less intimidating, since it is such a spacious room and filled with her favourite things.”

  He smiled crookedly. “How would you know she favours books?”

  “Fitzwilliam, I rode all the way from Milton with your Miss Bennet. I know a great many things about her. Besides, if you are enamoured of her, she has to like books!”

  His smile faded as his brows knit quizzically, recalling what else she had said. “Do I intimidate people?”

  His aunt chuckled and patted his cheek. “Only those who do not know you, my love, and those who do.”

  Chuckling at his bewildered expression, she pushed him towards the door across from them. “There is no time like the present.”

  William found himself entering a beautiful sitting room that adjoined the bedroom that Georgiana always occupied at Ashcroft Park. He had been in this room often enough, but it had recently been redecorated in shades of yellows and greens, and he barely recognised it. Calling her name, there was no answer so he walked to the connecting door, intending to knock. Before he got there, he caught sight of Georgiana standing on the balcony. She was staring into the distance, her arms crossed, and she was rubbing her forearms as though to warm herself.

  For a brief moment, he took her measure. It had been some time since he had studied Georgiana, and in her present pose, it was plain that she was fast becoming a woman, getting taller and developing womanly curves.

  Every hair was in place; that in itself was unusual. Suddenly, he found himself smiling at old memories. As a child she dearly loved to run, even running throughout the house, to their parents’ dismay, and her fine hair would always escape the pins and ribbons employed to hold it. Pictures from times past progressed through his mind—Georgiana chasing butterflies on the manicured lawn or pursuing the numerous cats in the gardens and stables, her hair down and in complete disarray. Their mother had been fond of reminding him that Georgiana would outgrow such antics one day, and he would miss them. His smile crumbled as a sharp pain pierced his heart. He missed more than just his sister’s childish behaviour—he missed his mother.

  As though Georgiana felt his presence, she turned to see him observing her, and it tortured William to see her hands fly up to cover her face. He rushed to her side, pulling her into his arms. Saying nothing, he held her, twisting slowly side to side and soothing her as she cried. At length, she quieted, and he leaned his head back to study her.

  “Georgiana, look at me,” he entreated softly.

  There was a furious shaking of her head, so he used his fingertip to tilt her chin so that he could look into her eyes. She had them closed tightly, and it almost made him smile.

  “Open your eyes.” A barely perceptible movement of her eyelids revealed two small dark slits examining him. He schooled his face to show displeasure. “Open them wide so you can see me.”

  She sighed heavily but did as he asked. He stared for so long in silence that her blue eyes began to fill again.

  “Now that I have your attention, tell me what possessed you to go against everything you have been taught? Why would you disobey the rules we set in place to keep you safe?”

  Her eyes dropped to study the fine lawn of the shirt exposed above his waistcoat. “I thought that I was being mature by deciding something for myself. Lady Strongham often said that I acted much too childishly.”

  “And do you think it was mature to disregard what people with years of experience have cautioned you?”

  More shaking of her head preceded a quietly murmured, “Not anymore.”

  “You know, sweetling, if I have learned anything in my seven and twenty years, it is that human nature never changes. What our mother tried to instil in me when I was your age has proven invaluable, and that is why I have tried to pass that knowledge on to you. In every generation there are those who stand ready to lie, steal, even to kill to get what they desire. And it is mainly at the expense of those who are naïve,” he kissed the top of her head, “or kind-hearted enough to believe them.”

  He pulled her even tighter, her head coming to rest under his chin. “And even more despicable are those who would prey on a loved one just to have their revenge. I apologise, for I should have warned you about George Wickham in particular. He has much to despise me for and, therefore, a motivation to hurt you. I never dreamed, however, that he could penetrate the wall of protection that I had erected around you.”

  “You have nothing to apologise for, Brother. I am at fault for not acting on what I knew to be right. Aunt has since told me his history with our family, and I am so sorry that I made a fool of myself by being taken in by his lies. But if he had not first confessed his own faults and failings in regards to you, I might never have thought him sincere.”

  “You are not a fool, Georgiana, just an innocent. With maturity, you will learn to discern true sincerity. And even when you are grown, you will learn that the advice of those of us who have always had your best interest at heart—Richard, Aunt Audrey and myself—will serve you well.” He cupped her face. “Now, there will be no sulking and no melancholy. That is not how a young lady handles setbacks. Agreed?”

  “Agreed.”

  “Good. You know that what you did was wrong. I woul
d like to know what punishment you feel is appropriate? Not that I shall concur with your suggestions.”

  She sniffled. “I should have to work extra hard on my studies and my music and leave off all frivolities for six months. No trips to museums, plays, operas and ice cream shops when I am in Town.”

  William tried not to smile at the mention of ice cream shops. “I think your suggestions commendable, only I believe there is one more thing. You shall not have the privilege of having your friend, Lady Ormond, spend the month of September at Pemberley as you had planned. In fact, you will not have friends stay overnight for the same period—six months.”

  Georgiana nodded, her eyes brightening with new tears as she stood taller. “I have learned my lesson, truly I have. When I saw what happened to my godfather and Miss Bennet, who risked their lives to help me, I wanted to die.”

  “Unfortunately, the one who almost died was Lord Landingham.”

  “I know,” she moaned, then quickly added, “And Miss Elizabeth was injured. Oh, Brother, have you seen the awful bruise on her face where Mr. Wickham struck her? Every time I see it, I am reminded of my folly. I thought that surely a bone had broken, he hit her so forcefully. And then, to think that that horrid Lord Wilkens struck her in the same place!”

  William’s eyes narrowed, turning black as night. She felt him tremble just a bit as he grasped her shoulders and tilted his head. “Wilkens hit Elizabeth?”

  “Yes. Has no one told you?”

  William slowly shook his head and turned to stare woodenly into the distance as she relayed everything that Elizabeth had said about the night of terror at Gatesbridge Manor. Even from the side, Georgiana could see his jaw clench and unclench, while his hands formed fists.

  When the tale was done, he challenged even more sternly, “Do you now understand what men like Wilkens and Wickham are capable of? Why we all try so hard to protect you?”

  “Yes. And I love you for it, even if I did not show it by my actions.”

  “And do you understand that I shall always love you no matter what may happen? You shall always be my dearest sister and you should never fear coming to me.”

  She sniffled. “I do.”

  “May I count on you to listen to me—to your aunt—from now on?”

  “You may. I promise.”

  William stepped back to her, placing a kiss on her forehead and then embraced her tightly. “I must find Miss Elizabeth and express my appreciation for all that she has done for us.”

  “Then go, Brother. I am certain that she will be eager to see you again.”

  “I pray you are right.”

  Georgiana watched him leave, following his progress through the sitting room and out into the hall. A lump formed in her throat as she considered how diligently he had cared for her since their parents’ deaths and how badly she had disappointed him. A fresh pool of tears rolled silently down her face as she vowed never to disobey him again.

  ~~~*~~~

  The Library

  Since sending a maid after his aunt and entering the vacant library, Fitzwilliam Darcy had employed his usual method of dealing with anger— generating a steady cadence with his boots on the parquet floor near the hearth. As he stalked, his steps kept pace with the pounding of his heart, and he ran his hands through his hair absently. The slow burn that had begun deep inside when Georgiana spoke of Wilkens’ assault of Elizabeth had turned into a raging fire.

  If he could be thankful for anything, it was that his aunt was not there to tell him to stop pacing, for he did not think it was possible for him to cease. He had tried to keep his anger under good regulation since learning of Wickham’s scheme and Elizabeth and Marshall’s injuries, concerned that Georgiana would learn just how angry he could become. But learning of additional injuries to Elizabeth at Wilkens’ hand had pushed him past his storied control.

  Elizabeth, how can I protect you? I cannot claim you for my own, and I cannot bear to see you hurt!

  After reading his aunt’s account of what transpired that day at Ramsgate, his hatred for George Wickham had consumed him, and he had pondered penalties worthy of that blackguard. But it was one thing to read of an assault and quite another to see the results. Landingham’s scalp featured a long bloody crease, evidence of the shot that would have killed him had it been a hair to the left. The sight of that wound drove home just how close he came to losing a man that he loved like a father.

  And to think that Elizabeth could have been the one shot and that she bore the evidence of assaults by Wickham and Wilkens made him weak in the knees. Would he be able to compose himself before she came into the room? If not, he was certain that his behaviour would frighten her.

  Calm down! You cannot help her as long as you pace about as a madman!

  At just that moment, there was a rap at the door, and he stopped dead still. A maid entered, curtseyed silently to him and then began to light the numerous candelabras about the room as daylight was beginning to fade. Immediately when she had finished and was about to depart, he addressed her.

  “My aunt—have you seen her?”

  “No, sir. Last I heard she was going to the lake to fetch Miss Bennet.”

  Curtseying once more, she quit the room as silently as she had entered and closed the door soundly. Left on his own, William lapsed into his former activity and was startled when there was another rap on the door.

  ~~~*~~~

  Chapter 33

  Ashcroft Park

  It was late afternoon, and Elizabeth had circled the entire lake and rambled through most of the gardens. All the while, a dutiful footman had discretely followed about a hundred feet behind. She had not protested his presence as she normally would, because she had not wished to argue the point with her hostess. Still, after walking for the better part of three hours, she was just as unsure of her mind as when she had begun. Only now the wind was picking up, a gusty breeze doing its part to impede her progress, and she was quite certain that, had she not held it in place, her bonnet would have taken flight with the last strong gale.

  She wrapped her arms around her waist at a sudden chill—whether from the wind or what occupied her mind, she was uncertain. But eyeing the tumultuous sky to the north with its darkening clouds and hearing the distant sound of thunder, she decided that she had best return to the manor and turned in that direction. Perhaps, she thought, she might slip inside and have a few more minutes to herself before anyone noticed her presence. In any event, there was no way she was going to let the footman suffer the weather on her account.

  Silence was what she had sought. Ever desirous of evaluating what to do about Fitzwilliam the next time they met, she had no doubt that he would be waiting for her when they reached Town. Having grown quite fond of Georgiana as well as Fitzwilliam’s aunt, she knew it would be hard to maintain a friendship with them if she could not foresee a future with him. It would be too painful being near him but not truly being with him. Her heart fluttered at the thought.

  Be still! She admonished her most traitorous member. Just because I am in love does not mean I have the right to rush into his arms. I have to remember my duty to my sisters.

  Instantly she pictured him as he had looked that day in London, when he confessed his love for her, and her resolve collapsed along with her stoic expression. For she could not deny that from that day on her efforts not to love him had failed utterly and completely. Against all her strength, her very will, he possessed her heart. It was his gentle expression, gazing at her as though she were his whole world, that she imagined whenever Wilkens had belittled her. Moreover, his love had sustained her throughout the horrible ordeal at Gatesbridge. For during that endless night, his voice was the one she heard imploring her not to quit… to persevere… to come back to him.

  Despite all your talk of duty, your greatest fear is that you will no longer be able to refuse him when you meet again. At that realisation, she came to a complete halt. Then how shall I ever face him?

  In the reflection that
followed, a greeting wafted over the wind, and she looked up to see Lady Ashcroft coming in her direction. As the gap closed between them, the Mistress of Ashcroft Park dismissed the footman with a wave of her hand, and when he was sufficiently out of range, she began to speak.

  “Goodness! From the strength of the winds, there will be quite a storm.”

  Elizabeth nodded, inspecting the sky anew. Her wish to be alone a while longer was not to be, and she accepted it with some disappointment.

  “I have good news! At least it pleases me. But I want you to tell me truthfully how you feel about it.” Elizabeth waited expectantly, so Lady Ashcroft put an arm around her shoulder and began to direct her back to the house. “My nephew, Fitzwilliam, is here.” Elizabeth’s posture stiffened a little so she offered, “I pray that his presence will not disturb you. He came to escort Georgiana—well, all of us—back to London. I believe you know him well enough to understand how protective he is of those he loves.”

  Elizabeth took a deep breath and sighed. “He has a right to be protective of his sister, especially after what has happened. It is just…”

  “Just?” Lady Ashcroft urged gently.

  “I… I care so deeply for him, but I do not understand how our situation can ever change.” She blinked to keep from crying. “I will not be his mistress. I could not bear to share so little of his life or the shame it would bring upon me and my family.” She added softly, “Not to mention any children.”

  Audrey turned Elizabeth so that they faced each other. “I assure you that he would never ask that of you. He is not the kind of man to take a mistress, and he loves you dearly. Do you remember the first time I met you in the park?” Elizabeth nodded. “I told you then that he had decided to seek a divorce. Well, he has already taken the first steps. The evidences of Gisela’s infidelities are numerous and so are the witnesses. In addition, he has the support of many members of the House of Lords as well as the archbishop, so it will come to pass. It may take years, but eventually, he will be granted a divorce.”