Mr. Darcy's Forbidden Love

by Brenda Webb

  Elizabeth’s eyes widened. “But what of the letters of extortion used to secure him?”

  “The basis for the extortion will no longer exist in a short while, so they will be useless. But let me be perfectly honest. I would be remiss if I did not caution you that it would not be an easy path should you decide to love him. It could mean years of uncertainty and mockery. Nevertheless, as someone who knows him well, I am convinced that you would never regret it.”

  “I am certain there would be a scandal if anyone so much as suspected we were in love,” Elizabeth murmured, searching the distant horizon for answers.

  “You are correct. If word reached the ton of your relationship, they would rip you to shreds in their parlours as well as in the gossip sheets. And I have no doubt that Gisela would shout it from the housetops if she ever suspected that Fitzwilliam loved you, even though she has had at least seven lovers that I am aware of since their marriage. In any event, in our society, married men are allowed to have mistresses, so long as they are discreet, while the women who are their mistresses are vilified.”

  Elizabeth tried to correct her. “But, I said that I would never—”

  “No one would ever believe that, Elizabeth. You would be branded a fallen woman by society, and regrettably, your sisters would be affected by the scandal. On the other hand, my nephew is very wealthy, well able to supplement their dowries and see to it they are introduced to decent men, respectable men. Despite the consequences, your sisters would probably be better situated than they are at present and much better off than being bartered to men like Wilkens for wealth and connections.”

  Noting Elizabeth’s countenance fall even further at the mention of being bartered, Audrey added sympathetically, “Forgive me if I have offended you, but when we first met, you stressed that you had to marry well for your family’s sake, so I assumed that none of you have large dowries.”

  The nodding of Elizabeth’s head was the only confirmation.

  “Furthermore, if you and Fitzwilliam were to marry, the ton would soon lose interest and move on to the next scandal. And you may rely on this—I will stand by you, along with most of our family and those who are our true friends.”

  “Most of your family?”

  “My oldest sister, Catherine, would never accept or support anyone that Fitzwilliam desired.” Audrey tried to jest. “But every family has to have at least one aberration. It keeps us from becoming too conceited.”

  Her ploy worked, as Elizabeth did manage a small smile.

  “Fitzwilliam has many powerful friends who value him and would never shun him for seeking a divorce. In fact, a good many, knowing that he was entrapped, have already encouraged him to seek one.”

  “I assume that he would like to speak to me.”

  “I am to bring you to the library so you can talk. However, if that is not acceptable to you, you may return to your room to prepare for dinner. Even so, he will want to thank you for helping Georgiana. I will be pleased to accompany you, if you do not wish to be alone with him, and I assure you that he will not seek further contact with you if you do not wish it.”

  “I do not fear being alone with him,” Elizabeth offered. “It is for my heart that I fear.”

  Suddenly feeling protective, Audrey pulled Elizabeth into a motherly embrace.

  “I completely understand. It is a difficult decision. But please consider one other argument. What were the results of trying to please your family? What fate would have befallen you had you accepted an offer from John Wilkens weeks ago? Your lively nature would never have survived under his dominion. I truly believe he would have destroyed you before he would have let you break an engagement, and if the man became so violent while in public, one can only imagine how brutal he would have become in private after marriage. Sadly, he embodies most men of the ton. I should know, as I have been an observer of them my entire life.”

  Her expression softened. “Nonetheless, would you believe me if I told you that in every generation there are a few men who treasure a woman as a gift from God.” Her eyes suddenly became shiny. “My Joseph was such a man. So is Fitzwilliam.”

  Elizabeth’s eyes grew wet as well. “I knew that he was very special the first time we met.” They stood perfectly still until she whispered, “I shall talk to him… alone.”

  Audrey Ashcroft hugged her. “I had hoped you would. Now, let us return to the house before we are drenched.”

  ~~~*~~~

  Having decided to change into a more elegant gown before seeing Fitzwilliam, Elizabeth looked truly beautiful in an emerald green sateen creation when she emerged from her bedroom to find Lady Audrey waiting for her in the hallway. Baring her shoulders and designed with a lower bodice than her day gowns, it fit snugly from her décolletage to her waist and drew attention to her generous bosom, small waist and perfectly rounded hips. The garnet cross her father had given her for her sixteenth birthday hung just above the hollow of her breasts. And, while her lush curls were pulled up to form a halo on top of her head, held by combs on both sides, the balance hung in ringlets down her back.

  “You look lovely, Elizabeth!” her hostess exclaimed as she took the young woman’s hands and then stretched out her arms to examine her. “I am so glad you decided to change gowns. This one is stunning.”

  Elizabeth’s nervous smile went unobserved as a close clap of thunder made known that the storm she had seen earlier was almost upon them.

  “Come, Fitzwilliam may fear that you are still out in this weather.”

  Lady Ashcroft proceeded towards the library, and as they progressed through the manor, Elizabeth began to note the servants busily lighting candles along the way, as the approaching clouds hid the sun. When at length they stood before the elaborately carved double doors, Lady Audrey paused dramatically to take one last look at her charge before rapping loudly, immediately opening one side and entering, leading Elizabeth in by her hand. The combination of the storm and the heavy damask drapes had left the room in darkness, save for the candles reflected in the enormous matching mirrors hung on all sides of the room. Their flickering flames pranced across the walls and ceiling, giving the place a magical appeal.

  The sound of heavy footsteps on the other side of a wall of shelves brought her eyes to that area and her breath caught, despite her best intentions, when William came around the end of the structure. Swarms of butterflies invaded her stomach instantly at the sight of him.

  He was just as she had remembered—tall, muscular, tanned and devastatingly handsome. He wore black except for a dark burgundy waistcoat, white shirt and cravat. He paused and smiled slightly.

  Since both he and Elizabeth stood stock-still, Audrey gently pulled her towards Fitzwilliam, leaving only a few feet between the couple when she halted. Reaching to take her nephew’s hand as well, she looked from one to the other.

  “This may likely be the only occasion that you will have complete privacy to say what you will, since we leave for London tomorrow. Let me admonish both of you to decide what you want most in life. Keep in mind that, although it is admirable to try and please others, there comes a time when you must consider your own happiness. I am a witness to the fact that life is capricious and far too fleeting to waste. If what you feel for one another is true love, do not let it slip through your fingers.”

  Having had her say, she pulled each hand towards the other until they met and fingers entwined. “Now, if I know Mrs. Parker, dinner will be served shortly, so I suggest you stop staring at one another and start talking.”

  Lost in the exquisite warmth of skin on skin, his palm touching hers, Elizabeth was unaware of Lady Ashcroft’s departure until the sound of the door closing signified that they were truly alone.

  No one had ever looked at her the way he did at that moment—the deepest desires and aspirations of his soul unhidden. His smouldering expression produced a shiver that raced down her spine, and at once her face crimsoned. This heated blush spread down her neck and then across her bosom. As
it did, his gaze followed to her décolletage before coming back to meet her eyes. A quick flame leapt into his eyes, as the grip on her hand tightened. Nonetheless, she was very mindful that he made no attempt to come closer.

  When at last she realised what restrained him, a great pang gripped her heart. For chivalry would not allow him to press for her love. If their love was to be acknowledged or nurtured, it was to be her choice and at her instigation. That he would not take advantage of her feelings for him was a gesture that erased any doubts she might have had, and the realisation made her both ecstatic and limp at the same time.

  As though that were not enough, at that very second William whispered huskily, “Oh, the heart that has truly loved never forgets, but as truly loves on to the close.”*15

  Elizabeth was lost. It would have been far easier to ask her to stop breathing than to refuse so great a love. Watching her expression as it altered to favour him, William began to draw her to himself so effortlessly that it seemed as though a gossamer thread connected them soul-to-soul. Once in his arms, her face came to rest against his rock-hard chest in an embrace so firm that she could hardly breathe.

  A heavy sigh escaped his chest, and she could feel his body relax as he breathed her name, “Elizabeth.”

  One iron hand came up to cradle the back of her head as he buried his face in the velvet of her hair and inhaled deeply of the lavender scent. The other hand slid down to the small of her back, splaying out to pull her close. Lying against his wildly beating heart, she suddenly became mindful that its cadence matched the mad drumming of her own. Gratified that he seemed just as affected as she, without further restraint, she melted into him, her hands sliding around to rest on his back. At this gesture, William groaned and the hand on her back slid a bit further down, urging her hips closer still.

  He began to kiss the crown of her head, slowly inching succeeding kisses down her face as he sought her mouth. His lips were exceedingly soft, and Elizabeth held her breath at the realisation that soon she would experience her first real kiss. But alas, the butterflies that had invaded her stomach earlier found reinforcements and her knees began to buckle. As if noticing her sudden frailty, William slipped one arm under her legs and effortlessly picked her up. Carrying her towards a large sofa near the hearth, he sat down with her in his lap.

  Her eyes were still closed, and she waited expectantly for his kisses to resume. When they did not, she opened her eyes to find him examining her face, in particular the injury now unmistakable in the glow of nearby candles. He ran the back of his fingers gently over the offending bruise, and she watched as his expression sobered.

  “How can I ever make amends for what you have suffered for coming to Georgiana’s aid?”

  “Georgiana is as dear to me as a sister, and I could do no less. There is nothing for which to atone.”

  His words were strangled. “If only I had the right to keep you with me, to keep you safe.”

  Elizabeth’s heart overflowed at the evidence of his love. “Though it is not possible for you to be with me at all times, even should we marry, I know there will come a time when you shall have the right to keep me close.”

  Provoked by her declaration, the world was set to right when William, hesitating no longer, hungrily claimed her lips. His own were no longer soft but insistent, seeking that which he had desired for so long, that which was so crucial to his happiness as the air to breathe with.

  Unrelentingly he prodded with his tongue until her lips opened, and he tasted the sweetness within. Even the deluge without the manor could not compete with the tempest raging inside him at this moment. Revelling in the feel, taste and smell of Elizabeth, his designs to take things slowly completely vanished and his tongue instinctively darted inside her mouth to tease her own.

  At first she sat motionless, as though caught up in savouring each sweet sensation, but in time, she began to replicate his actions. His answer was to caress even deeper with his fingertips, which initiated an entirely different sort of response in Elizabeth. She moaned, threading her hands into his hair, pulling his mouth harder against her own and, for a few brief moments, he forgot that the rest of the world existed.

  A sudden knock on the door caused them to pull apart. Breathing heavily, William slipped Elizabeth out of his lap and onto the couch. After he stood, he leaned down to place a kiss on her pale forehead before stepping a few feet away. Straightening his waistcoat, he called out, “Come!”

  The door opened and Mr. Parker entered, rapidly making his way to where William stood and examining the floor instead of the flushed faces of the young couple.

  “I am sorry to disturb you, sir, but Mr. Mooney has sent a groom to inform you that you are needed at the stables. I tried to explain, but he insisted—”

  William’s lifted hand brought an end to the butler’s explanation. Releasing a disappointed sigh, he glanced over to Elizabeth, who still stared at the floor, her face crimson as she was mortified at the intrusion. “There is no need to explain. Would you be so kind as to send word to Mr. Mooney that I shall be there as soon as I change clothes?”

  Parker bowed, “Very good, sir.” He quitted the room in seconds, pulling the door shut behind him.

  William quickly stepped over to Elizabeth, pulling her to her feet and back into his embrace. Though he feared she might have been frightened by the fervency of his kisses, she made no attempt to resist him. Nonetheless, she was trembling, so he tightened his embrace.

  “I love you, Elizabeth. I have never loved any woman but you.”

  He could feel her relax into him once again and rejoiced in her response. “I love you so very much.”

  Not able to refrain after that declaration, he leaned in to kiss her yet again with only a little more restraint than before. Then pulling back to adore her, he gingerly fondled one glossy chocolate spiral that had slipped out of the pins and now rested on her shoulder. All the while he memorised her face and after a few moments, he felt able to speak again without his voice betraying him.

  “When I arrived, Mr. Mooney was examining one of the mares because he thought she might foal early and deliver breech like her first colt. This mare is Georgiana’s favourite; she has ridden her for years. It was evident that Mooney is not well, and he informed me that Mr. Bradford, his assistant livery manager, died last month. Since I have had experience in such matters with my own horses, I told him I would be happy to be of service when the time came. Otherwise, only some completely untried grooms are left to aid in a situation that could prove dangerous to the mare and colt. I could not ignore the situation.”

  Her words were encouraging, though her eyes begged him stay. “Of course, you could not. I understand completely. Certainly, you must help.”

  “When I am finished, if it is not too late, I would like for us to finish our talk.” He smiled, though it did not reach his eyes. “I fear that I have said very little.”

  “On the contrary, I think you expressed yourself very eloquently.”

  At her words, he pulled her into another fierce embrace, kissing her so soundly that she was breathless when he released her, pleading, “Wait up for me?”

  “I… I will,” she stammered.

  Leading her towards the library entrance, he gave her one last longing gaze and tightly squeezed her hand before opening the door. As they entered the hallway and began towards the foyer, he kept a firm hold on that hand. Immediately, they encountered his aunt hurrying in their direction.

  “Fitzwilliam, dinner is prepared, and Georgiana and Marshall are waiting in the drawing room. I was coming to get you when I learned that you have been summoned by Mr. Mooney. Dear boy, you cannot do everything asked of you. You are undoubtedly exhausted, and you have had no dinner. He shall just have to make do without you.”

  “Aunt, upon my arrival, Mr. Mooney explained the circumstances, and I promised to be of service when the time came. That the animal decided to foal now is no one’s fault.”

  “It is too much to ask of an
yone, and for heaven’s sake, this is no night to be out of doors!” As if to prove her contention, a low rumble of thunder began and got progressively louder, shaking the entire room while lightning simultaneously lit up the space.

  “I fear that I am needed, and there is no putting it off.” William’s weary eyes crinkled, his dimples cutting deep crevices into his tanned face. “Now, please do as I ask and carry on without me.” Glancing to his love, he could not help but smile. “All of you—please enjoy your dinner. Just send a tray to my room, and I will eat later. Now, I must hurry if I am to be of any assistance.”

  He brought Elizabeth’s hand to his lips for a quick kiss, stared into her eyes for a brief moment, then turned and walked towards the grand staircase. His long legs made short work of the stairs, and in a few strides, he was completely out of sight while Elizabeth stood transfixed, staring at the top of the stairs as though she expected him to return at any moment.

  Lady Audrey had not missed their joined hands, and when William lifted Elizabeth's hand to place a kiss there, her heart had overflowed with joy. She had prayed so long for her dear boy to find real love and now that he had, all she could think of was how pleased his mother Anne would have been.

  She glanced towards heaven. This woman will be the making of him, my dearest sister, you shall see. You would have loved her, just as I do.

  Laying a hand on Elizabeth’s arm, she implored, “Come, Elizabeth. There is no need for us to wait here. He shall likely take the back stairs when he goes to the stables and may be gone for some time. Let us have something to eat while we wait. It will do no good for all of us to be famished.”

  Elizabeth swallowed hard to suppress the tears that threatened. She did not want to let Lady Ashcroft see how deeply she was affected by his absence. After all, until a few minutes before, she had resisted the deepest desire of her heart to love him. How foolish she would seem to be so upset now. Steeling herself, she walked alongside Lady Ashcroft to the drawing room.