By the time the sun came up over the bay, I already had a rough draft finished. I checked in on Nicholas then went out to the bus for silence to work. Nicholas may not believe it but when he was in a deep sleep he snored too.
Now, at a little after nine, I had a finished proposal and the guys were out at breakfast. Thank you, Henry, for the quick text.
I sent the paperwork then made the call.
“You are one stubborn broad.” Ezra didn’t bother with a greeting.
“I just emailed you my proposal with all the adjustments, figures, profits and losses. I also did a comparison to the current tour with projected figures as well, including the damages that may or may not need to be compensated.”
“Do you sleep?” Ezra slurped something. Probably coffee. The lucky bastard.
“When I have time.” My tired body didn’t feel the cheeriness of my tone. I needed food and coffee but not quite yet. “Which won’t be any time today if you approve my proposal. I’ll have to make the calls and get all the adjustments done.”
“You are a machine.” Clicking was load enough that I guessed he sat at a computer and was reading my proposal.
“All in a day’s work.” I rubbed exhausted eyes and then gave in and closed them for a moment.
I listened to Ezra shuffle, sigh, and curse and then just generally bitch at the unfairness of the world in general. I was right and with the facts in front of him he couldn’t deny it. However, he could deny my proposal which would force my hand and I’d have to quit.
“All right.” He huffed. “Your proposal is sound and your percentages of profit are higher. We’ll do this your way. Go to bed, Bianca. I’ll get the assistants here to make the calls and get the job done. You’ll have the final details to work out by five tonight.”
“Fine. I’ll announce the adjustments to the crew at eight? Will that be all right? I’ll have to make follow up calls for the changes to Las Vegas and go from there. Thankfully, Obi is here and hasn’t left for Phoenix yet.”
“Same process as before Bianca. Only using your proposal. It’s probably a good thing the record label contract only says he has to tour. Not how many cities or for how long.”
“He’ll be thrilled to find out he’s going home in five weeks instead of eleven.”
“I hope you’re right.”
“This will work. Small doses and baby steps. We can get him turned around.”
“I always thought it was just stage fright. That it would go away.”
“Anxiety is a serious medical condition. It’s not something that should be dismissed lightly or ignored altogether.”
“We’ll use your press draft as well. It’s sound.”
“Thank you, sir. I appreciate you taking the time to listen to me.”
“Nick was my first you know. He let me manage him in high school when we were just a bunch of fools that didn’t know any better.”
“I didn’t know.”
“He liked larger crowds back then, when he was on stage. Something about the eyes didn’t matter when they couldn’t be counted.”
“So he displayed anxiety then too.”
Ezra sighed. “I guess you’re right. I’ll send over the new schedule by five.”
“Thank you, Ezra.”
“Get some sleep.” He demanded again and the line disconnected.
I sent a text to Obi telling him Phoenix was canceled and to await further orders before setting the phone aside completely.
I kicked off my shoes, and decided I just didn’t have the energy to go into the hotel. I crawled into my bunk, and since I was alone, shimmied out of my skirt and let it hit the floor. As an afterthought I pulled off the gun holster and shoved it between the mattress and frame by the window. I was asleep before my head hit the pillow.
Something warm and smelling disbelievingly like Nicholas was wrapped around me. I sighed and didn’t have the energy to lecture him on decorum. Again.
I heard a guitar though. Which meant I was either alone in bed and that wasn’t a warm, firm, male body draped over me—hey a girl had to have dreams—or it wasn’t just Nicholas and I in the room. I bet on door number one. Dreams were after all only dreams.
“Please tell me that’s a blanket or something.” I didn’t open my eyes.
“It is. My bed is farthest from the door. The jackals I call friends were bowling in the hallway. Didn’t want it to wake you. If I’m bothering you I can step out.”
Well his kindness was new. Wary of it I pushed an eye open and looked towards the origin of the sound. Nicholas sat in a chair by the window with an acoustic guitar in his lap and the blinds open enough to illuminate him but not spill into the rest of the room.
I pushed up slowly and ran my hands through the tangled mass of hair that fell into my face. I clearly remembered having it pulled back. And, I looked down at myself frowning, I clearly remembered falling asleep on the bus in my dress shirt not what suspiciously looked like one of Nicholas’s tee shirt.
“Don’t shout at me yet.” Nicholas glanced up from his guitar. “I found you out cold on the bus. I brought you in and paid one of the hotel girls to change you for bed.”
He was weirdly subdued and I didn’t like it. “Who are you and what have you done with Nicholas Walker?”
He laughed a little and shrugged. “Days off relax me. I don’t feel so ready to explode.”
Bingo. Anxiety. I was right but I didn’t say anything about it. He may not even know that he had social anxiety.
“What time is it?” I rubbed my eyes and looked around for my glasses.
“A little after four.” He stood and picked up something from the table next to him and walked over. He placed my glasses on my face with careful consideration.
“Thanks.” My brows drew together as the rest of his words sank in. “Bowling in the hall?”
His grin was fast and beautiful. The dimple winked. “Caught that did you?”
“They better not have broken anything.” I shoved off the blankets and frowned further when I stared at my sweat pant clad legs. I hadn’t brought sweatpants.
“The pants are mine since your legs are fantastically long. I couldn’t find the flannel get up you wear to bed.”
Right. And he was never getting these clothes back. Sorry about his luck.
“It’s in the laundry bag. Shit.” I pushed up.
“Relax.” Nicholas sat on the edge of the bed. “Guy remembered it was the wash day. We brought the bags in and the hotel should have the wash back to us in the morning before the…whatever is scheduled for the morning.”
“The bed sheets,” I began.
“The reason we were on the bus and found you.” Nicholas stood and flicked a finger against my nose. “It’s supposed to be your off day too.”
“Ezra and I spent the morning in a conference meeting.” I spoke over my shoulder as I sleepily shuffled to the bathroom.
“Your phone’s been buzzing almost nonstop since I plugged it in. But you’ve got a password on it so I have no idea what you’re so popular about.”
I didn’t sigh when he followed me into the bathroom and held out my phone. Nicholas didn’t believe in personal space when it came to me. At times—like now—it was annoying.
“Out.” I pushed, none too lightly so I could close and lock the door. Securing it was the only way to keep him out. Apparently sitting on the toilet didn’t even deter him when he wanted to talk. Found that out the hard way in San Francisco.
“That’s not nice, Songbird. What did you want to do for dinner?”
“What are you craving?” I took care of business quickly because he generally got restless when I locked him out. Within three minutes he would start to knock and ask if I was done.
I washed my hands before reaching out and unlocking the door. When I stepped back to brush my teeth the door promptly swung open and Nicholas stepped in sitting comfortably on the edge of the tub. I checked the messages with one hand while I brushed.
“We
always get what I want.” He shifted around, getting comfortable on the narrow porcelain ledge. I wasn’t sure he was allowed to gripe about getting his way. “I want to eat what you want.”
I had to spit to respond, “And if I want something you don’t like?”
He shrugged. “I like food. And as long as there’s desert I think I can be placated.”
“You mean patronized.”
He lifted his shoulders again. “Same meaning, different word.”
“What about Guy, Arc, and Max? What do they want?” He followed me out of the bathroom and I checked my bag for clothes.
“They’ll eat what you want too. It’s okay.”
“Why are you suddenly catering to me?” I turned with a handful of clothes to pin him with a stare. He was making me uneasy with his affability. Nicholas didn’t cater to anyone on the norm. “Even in your calmest of moods this is unnatural. What’s really wrong, Walker?”
He glanced away, out the window. “Nothing. There’s nothing wrong.”
“Nicholas. Don’t lie to me. It’s blatantly disrespectful. What’s wrong? Remember our rule?
He half turned away and his shoulders hunched. He clearly didn’t want to discuss this.
“Nicholas.” My tone held warning, “What is wrong?”
He turned completely, his back fully to me. His voice was barely audible. “Can you swear to me right now that you’re not afraid of me?”
I set my clothes down and walked up behind him. I didn’t know why we were revisiting this again but it was clearly eating at him still. I wrapped my arms around him the best I could and squeezed lightly. Hugs were always good for lifting moods. And they were good for a girl’s dreams. “I will never be afraid of you, Nicholas. Never. I swear it.”
His hand rested over the one I held against his gorgeous abs a moment then squeezed lightly. “Get dressed, let me go get the guys for dinner.”
“Nicholas, what brought this on? We discussed this last night.” I stepped back releasing him. “I fell asleep on the bus, not because I was afraid of you but because I was too tired to walk any further. I didn’t go back to sleep after you woke me last night.”
He turned suddenly and looked down at me. His eyes searched and doubt filled the green depths. He looked so tormented, so troubled I knew I needed to give him something more. I had to do something that made my words more than just sound and air.
Max was right. Professionalism wasn’t going to stick here. Nicholas needed me to be more than that. I only hoped I wouldn’t hurt myself in the process.
I didn’t think about what I was doing. Thinking would lead to doubt and doubt often ended with inaction. I brought my hands up and ever so lightly framed his face with them. Our eyes stayed united when I rose on my toes and pressed my mouth to his.
The touch was beautifully gentle. His tongue touched my lips briefly and drew back. A question without words. I parted and allowed him the entry. The beautifully gentle touch, turned into heartbreakingly sweet.
I craved more; I could feel it in my stomach, in my legs, but I kept my touch light and gentle. This wasn’t about sex. This was about my trust and faith in him. My libido would just have to cry silently.
His hands came to my hips but didn’t pressure for anything more. And still our eyes held together unflinching. Emotion churned in his, swallowing the amber around his irises and swirling together until I couldn’t tell which one dominated. Not that it mattered. I could feel the tension draining out of him, feel his hands relaxing on my hips.
I had to break the contact first; I may wear heels all day but I wasn’t built to stand on tiptoe without assistance. I dropped back down to the flats of my feet but left my hands on his face. Nicholas didn’t speak; he only watched and waited.
“I am not afraid of you.” I watched the words sink in. I watched the darkness deepen in his gaze before clearing away to green and gold like they should be.
I lowered my arms satisfied. The calm gaze was exactly what I had wanted. The churning stomach was just a side effect I’d have to dismiss.
His hand was gentle when it rose and brushed lightly along my face. He didn’t speak for a moment, just traced the contours of my face. There was something new in his focus, something I didn’t recognize but it wasn’t uncomfortable.
“I… I like you. You don’t break under my moods or back down when I start to shout. I… I don’t think I could handle it if you started pulling away because of what I did.” He bent placed a light touch on my forehead then stepped back breaking contact completely. “Thank you, for being strong enough to withstand me.”
“Thank you for being you, Nicholas. I don’t think you’d be half the person you are if you were malleable.”
His lips quirked flashing his dimple before he stepped out and left me alone to dress. I moved carefully to the bed and let my knees give out. I couldn’t fool myself. Nicholas, perhaps, but not myself. I was in way over my head. And I was sorely afraid I was falling in love with a man I couldn’t have.
I called the front desk and arranged a meeting room before joining the waiting guys. A mass text to the heads of state—Obi, Denton, production manager, stage manager, light operator, sound engineer, etcetera—informed them of the mandatory meeting at eight sharp. Lateness would not be tolerated and could be grounds for termination. A kinder text asked our drivers to please be present for a meeting, since adjustments effecting drive times were being made.
On the band text–and I sent them a text just to cover all my bases even though we were going to dinner–I included Henry and simply stating tour meeting was being held at eight and they had to attend or else. Of course I was bombarded with questions the moment I came into sight in the hall.
“What’s the meeting for?” Arc rocked on his heels before following like a puppy down the hall.
“You’ll see at the meeting.” I waved him off. “Where are we eating?”
“The restaurant downstairs.” Guy pushed the button for the elevator. “They’ve closed off a section for us and Henry has the security guys on a perimeter.”
“Nice.”
“You’re seriously not going to tell us what the meeting is about?” Arc pouted. “What kind of loyalty is that?”
“Everyone will find out at the same time. That’s what it is.” I focused on Guy. “What kind of food do they serve?”
“American Cuisine for the most part.” Max leaned against the wall as we waiting for the crawling electronic.
“I can handle that.”
“They make awesome fudge brownie a la mode.” Nicholas smiled and I wanted to lick the dimple.
Down girl, I told myself. Friends. We are friends. Only friends. Nothing more than friends.
“Can you at least give us a hint?” Arc’s bottom lip rolled out and his eyes glossed. “Pretty please.”
“The tour.” I smiled blandly at his instant frown.
“Give up, Arc.” Guy shoved him back a few steps. “She’ll tell us tonight.”
“I want to know now.”
“Oh, shut up.” Nicholas reached out and tapped the back of his head lightly with the flat of his hand. “No one wants to listen to you cry during dinner.”
“I’m not crying.”
Max raised a brow and snorted before Nicholas could even open his mouth. “Yes, you are.”
“That’s just down right mean. We’re friends. She can confide in us.” Arc sent me another pleading look about as effective as the first one.
“Lose lips sink ships. You would sink like the Titanic.” My dry tone was rewarded with laughter.
“Cold, Stilts. Cold.” Arc slumped the whole way down to the floor in an impressive fetal position.
“Get up.” Max yanked on the limp body and cursed when Arc turned into dead weight.
Nicholas reached out and tugged on the end of my ponytail. When I turned to look he smiled and dropped his hand. I lifted a brow and he shrugged. He apparently just wanted to pull my hair. The child was back; I just hoped his te
mper wasn’t.
When the elevator pinged Arc was up in a blink and the first one on. Before we could move he hit the button and left us all standing in the hall.
“I’m going to kill him.” Max ran a hand through his hair. “Chop him into tiny pieces.”
“Relax.” Guy pressed the elevator button again. “We’ve got plenty of time.”
Even with curious diners and an occasional “I love you” shouted, supper was pleasant. Arc would probably walk with a limp since Nicholas and Max kicked him under the table every time he mentioned the meeting. Good thing the concert wasn’t until tomorrow night.
My phone rang close to the end of the meal and I saw Ezra’s number. “Excuse me guys. I have to take this.”
I hurried out of earshot. “Sheridan.”
“Get some sleep?” Ezra didn’t waste time on a greeting.
“A few hours. What’s up?”
“New schedule has been set. There’s a lot of unhappy people but the rescheduling seemed to calm a few of them. Las Vegas was a bitch. The vendor copped an attitude so you may have problems when you arrive.”
“I can handle it. Anything else?”
“Business rooms have been set up for interviews. There will be a dozen or so locals. Because of the changes, I made it an open invitation so you may have more. Hopefully, the idea of one interview instead of half a dozen will placate him.”
“The idea that he will have several unused hours each day to wander and just be unseen and normal is probably going to be more appealing.” I grinned to myself at the thought of a decently happy Nicholas. “Have you sent the final schedule over?”
“Yes. There’s a snag in Chicago. We’re still working on getting a new vendor since the old one wasn’t even trying to cooperate.”
“It’s very last minute. I knew that when I suggested it and it’s been calculated into the figures. Chicago would be a hard blow to lose.”
“We’re not losing Chicago. We’ll just have to go somewhere else. I’ll let you know as soon as I have it.”
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