by S. Moose
After I put last-minute touches on my makeup, I head downstairs with Jensen. After dinner, we’re heading to a club and I volunteered as DD. I haven’t been drinking lately, and the desire is gone.
“Will it be trashy if I go tonight?” Lexi asks, looking at herself in the mirror. She’s barely showing, so no one will know she’s pregnant.
“No, honey. It’ll be fine!” The girls gather around the bar, sitting and chatting, waiting for the guys to get done with their shots.
“How you holding up, girl?”
“I’m good. Really good. Jensen’s a good man and he makes me happy. What about you and Bradley?” I wink as Lexi and I wait for the answer.
“So good. He’s really sweet and his dad’s nice.”
“I still cannot believe you’re dating Bradley! Ahhhh.” I slap Lexi’s hand. God, she can be so loud sometimes. “I mean, he’s cute and everything, but it’s like preppie meets bad-ass chick.” All of us laugh and tell the guys to hurry up and to go. I’m starving and no one’s going to stand in the way of me getting dinner.
The dinner was really good. Jensen paid for everyone and I smiled. He’s trying to impress me and our friends, but he doesn’t need to do that. Throughout dinner, he kept his arm around me, except when we were eating, and kept me close to him. Everyone was smiling and happy. It felt good and I felt normal.
We make it to the club and go straight to the VIP booth. The guys paid for bottle service and start drinking. Jana stays with us and we sit on the couch, sipping water and talking.
“So how is he?” Lexi asks, raising her eyebrows.
“How’s he what?” Jana pushes me and mimics a sexual act, thrusting her hips into the air, using her hand to smack the imaginary ass. “Oh gosh! No, we haven’t!”
“WHAT!” they both yell.
“Yeah. I don’t know. It’s hard to explain.”
“How are you not riding that man! I bet he’s big.” Jana extends her hands and her eyes go wide. “I mean, look at him. Look at those muscles and the way he is. Damn, his confidence screams sexy.”
“Jana, do you need a minute with my boyfriend?”
“He’s just so muscular, sexy, and…hot. You’re an idiot.” She shakes her head, leaning back on the sofa.
I let her words sink in. Am I being an idiot? I look at Jensen and, yes, he’s sexy and definitely has it all. With all the humping we do, I know he’s big. But it’s the thought of being with someone like that again. It’ll work out. Jensen understands where I’m coming from. I hope.
“Titanium” by David Guetta plays. We all get up and find our guys, walking over as sexy as possible. I turn around and rub my ass against Jensen’s cock. Working my hands in his hair, slowly going up and down. His hands find their way to my thighs, rubbing up and down, nuzzling on my neck.
“You’re so fucking sexy, babe.”
Closing my eyes, I keep dancing, feeling his hard body and erection poking my ass. At this point, I have zero self-control. I turn around and find his lips as he dips me down, kissing my neck.
When the song ends, I jump into his arms and he twirls me around, but as happy as I am, it quickly disappears.
Nicholas.
He’s standing at the bar with Stephen, looking at me. He’s beyond pissed as he holds his cup on the bar, never taking his eyes off me and Jensen. I look away, pretending as though I don’t see him. Please go away and don’t come here. Please don’t come here.
“Way to give us a call, Gibson!” Stephen comes over, slapping Larry’s back.
“Yo, guys! Sorry; we wanted to take the girls out and spend time with them.” Jensen holds me back and I can feel Nicholas staring at me. I’m ready to tell him I want to leave. I can’t deal with this right now. The fact that he stared at me while I freaking humped my boyfriend on the dance floor doesn’t make me feel good.
“Oh shit, babe. The hospital’s paging me. Be right back.” He kisses my lips and leaves the club. Great; way to leave me with the shark. And yes, I call him a shark because he just stands there, lurking and staring, circling his prey – me.
“You look like you’re having fun.”
“Why, hello to you, Nicholas. Great seeing you!” Damn, I’m a bitch. I should tone it down.
“You’re not cute when you’re being sarcastic, Angel. It doesn’t fit you.”
“Things change, Nicholas.” I don’t know why I still let him call me “Angel.” Do I still like it? Of course. Is it right? Nope.
“Has he fucked you?” I turn around and our faces are inches apart. I see his chest raising and falling. “Does he know how fucking good you feel?”
“Oh, shut up. That’s none of your business if we’ve had sex.”
“Wrong, Angel. Everything you do is my business. I will not allow another man’s cock to enter what’s mine!”
Narrowing my eyes, I count to ten before I nearly kill him. “You do not own me. I am a fucking person, Nicholas. I’m not your property.” I pause. “Where’s your wife?”
Before he can answer, Jensen comes back and, damn it, he has to go to work. “I’m sorry, babe. I gotta go. But I’ll see you in the morning, okay?”
“All right. Have fun tonight.” We kiss again and he says goodbye to everyone else while I’m alone with the hungry shark.
THIS IS TURNING OUT BETTER THAN I THOUGHT IT WOULD. Now that Cocksucker’s gone, I can have quality time with my Angel. Damn, she looks fucking sexy tonight. Her long legs look impossibly hot with those black heels.
“Sometimes, I think about you and those heels. You remember that, don’t you?” Her body shivers. Oh yes, she does. “Remember wearing just those when I fucked you against the wall? Remember screaming my name? Clawing at my back?” I softly touch her back, making small circles. She’s not stopping me. Lowering my voice and moving closer to her ear, I say, “I remember all the fucking naughty things you said to me. Telling me to fuck you harder and make you scream. Telling me to suck on your nipples and play with your wet clit,” soft moans escapes her lips. “Yeah I know you’re thinking about it now. Tell me to stop and I will.”
“Nicholas, please stop. We can’t do this.” She starts to leave, but I don’t let her.
“Walking down memory lane, Angel. There’s nothing wrong with that.” My phone vibrates in my pocket. Shit, Jamie.
“Looks like your wife could be calling. Better get that.”
I want to ignore the call, but she threw a fit about me going out tonight. Answering her call, she begs me to come home and spend time with her. Fuck. Finishing my drink, I tell Stephen to catch a ride with Larry.
Leaving the bar, I vow to talk to Karly again…soon.
I walk inside and go upstairs, straight to Jamie’s room. She’s curled up in a ball and there are tissues everywhere.
“What’s going on?” I ask.
“You’re never home. You said you would try and you aren’t. I’m only asking for a little bit of time. Can you give that to me?”
She keeps throwing that in my face. Right now, I can’t give her time. Whenever I hear Karly’s out, I need to go too. Sure, I’m being a stalker, but it’s the only way, since she’s not talking to me.
“I’m sorry. I’ll try harder.”
She smiles. “Thanks. That’s all I wanna hear.”
“Get some sleep. I’ll see you in the morning.”
Shutting her door, I go to Emma’s room to check on her. She’s quietly tucked away and looks peaceful with her hands placed underneath her cheeks.
“I love you, Princess. Always, Daddy loves you.”
Closing her door, I walk downstairs and settle on the couch. It’s almost two in the morning and I hope Karly’s back home. Giving it a few more minutes, I give her a call, needing to talk to her.
She answers on the fourth ring. “Nicholas.”
“Angel. You made it home okay?”
“Yeah. Just climbing into bed. Is everything okay? You left in a hurry.”
“It’s fine.” I rub my face. “Jamie�
�s not feeling good and wanted me home.”
“Oh. Well, that’s good. She needs you, I guess.”
Not wanting to talk about Jamie anymore, I quickly change the topic. The Jensen topic.“How can you be happy and let someone you don’t know touch you?” There’s a moment of silence on her end. “Talk, Karly. I need to hear your voice.” I know I’m begging her. I know I’m being unfair, but this is the only time I can talk to her. The need for her is like a drug. She’s my endless supply and I’m not going to quit now.
“Nicholas, I’m moving on, just like you.” She pauses before talking again. “I’m fine. I’m not yours to worry about anymore, so please don’t worry about me.”
My chest tightens. “Karly, I don’t care where we are now or in the future, but I’m always gonna be there for you. I’ll always worry about you.”
I hear moving and sniffling. Fuck, I’m hurting her again. When is there going to be a time when I don’t hurt her?
“You said this is for the best. I’m trying to move on with my life, since you’ve done the same thing.” She pauses and takes a breath. “Jensen makes me happy. I mean, you have Jamie back – the love of your life.”
Anger takes over me. How the hell can she tell me she’s happy? I haven’t moved on! No one can take her away from me.
“Are you serious? You think I’m happy?”
“What do you want me to say, huh?”
“That you’re mine!”
“Excuse me?” she yells into the phone. “I was yours, Nicholas. WAS, past tense. You let me go and told me this was for the best. What did you want me to do? Wait around for you and pray you’d come back?”
“Yes! Because I am fucking coming back. Fuck what I said, Angel. Wait for me. Promise me you’ll wait. Don’t let him taste you. Don’t let him inside you. That’s MINE.”
“No. Fuck that, Nicholas. I refuse to be part of your life, knowing you’re MARRIED; remember that? You have someone in your life and you get to be happy. Well, I’m doing the same thing!”
“Listen to me, Karly. I know this is messed up, but believe me when I tell you I didn’t have a choice, all right? It’s a shitty situation. You have to believe me when I tell you I still love you and want you back. You’re constantly on my mind. Remember: always and forever.”
“No, Nicholas. You didn’t love me. If you loved me, then we wouldn’t be in this position. You don’t hurt the ones you love. I don’t know why you had me fall in love with you if you knew that one day, Jamie would come back. I was a convenience for you and that’s it. You don’t destroy someone you love, Nicholas, and that’s what you did to me. You destroyed me. But not anymore. I’m moving on with my life and you can be happy now too.”
“I am never gonna stop worrying about you. I don’t care if you push me away. I don’t care if you shut me out, but I will never stop loving you or worrying about you. You are my life. I know it doesn’t seem like that now, and I’m so sorry, Angel.”
“Just shut up, Nicholas.”
“No, Karly. I will get you back.” Fuming with anger, I hang up on her, grab my keys, and head over to see her.
Within minutes, I’m in the house, using my key, and running to her. I find her in the hallway, looking at me with wide eyes and surprise. She’s wearing a tight tank top and boxer shorts. My boxer shorts. She looks incredible.
“Nicholas? Oh my God; what the hell are you doing here? Get out.”
Walking over to her, ignoring her plea, I push her against the wall, running my finger down her face. “You’re mine. Do I make myself clear? No man will ever touch you.”
“But it’s okay for you to sleep with your wife.”
“Stop saying that. You’re it for me. I will fight for you every fucking day until you see that my heart belongs to you.”
“Just leave me alone.” Her voice trembles and I can see her fighting her feelings for me. She’s giving it all away, the way she’s breathing and staring at me. I feel the heat coming from her as I press my aching erection on her.
“Tell me to leave you alone.” She doesn’t say anything. “Tell me you hate me and you never loved me and I’ll leave.”
“If you love me, then leave. I can’t take this pain anymore. This is goodbye, Nicholas.”
“Here’s the funny thing, Angel. Me and my cock don’t like the word goodbye and we want you.” I press forward a little more. She lets out a soft moan. “I know you want me just like I want you.”
“Go to hell.”
I push her towards her bedroom. This is our moment and no one’s taking that from me.
“I need you. Tonight and now. Give me tonight and every night. You have my heart, Karly. Please don’t try to give it back to me. I’m begging you to stay with me. We belong together, even though things are bad right now.”
I press my lips against hers, but she’s not moving. “Baby, open your mouth. I need to feel you.” My hands roam up her body and into her hair. Closing the door behind us, I quickly pick her up and slam her against the wall, not giving a shit if anyone hears.
I push my fingers inside her and feel how wet she is for me. Just me. “Always ready for me. Tell me this is mine. Tell me your pussy belongs to just fucking me. Tell me now!”
“It’s yours, Nicholas. Only yours.”
Plunging my fingers into her heat, I use my thumb to play with her clit as she bites my shoulder, wanting more.
“I know what you need.” Swiftly putting her on her bed, I rip off her shorts and soon I’m standing before her, ready to be home. Tired of waiting, I pull her slightly off the bed and slam into her.
“Nicholas! Oh, oh!”
“Baby, you fucking feel so good. Tell me I’m the only cock that’ll ever be inside you.
“You’re the only one! Always!”
Pure pleasure builds inside me and I continue to move in and out of her. Keeping her legs up and wide, I feel her tightening. I know she’s close.
“Come on, baby. Come, now!” Her body shakes. “That’s right, baby. Let it out.” Soon, I find myself releasing inside her. She’s mine and no one will ever fucking take her away from me.
“Do you still love me?” I slowly pull out of her, lying next to my Angel, watching her slowly smile.
“Nicholas, I’m always gonna love you until the end of time.” My lips meet hers again. This is where I need to be.
Watching her sleep is my second favorite thing to do. She looks at peace and beautiful. I stroke her arm, up and down, when something catches my eye.
“What the fuck?” I say loudly.
She quickly opens her eyes and looks at me. “What?”
“Did Cocksucker fucking hit you? What the fuck is this on your arm?”
Her face falls. “It’s from you, Nicholas. You grabbed and held my arm too tight.”
“Karly. Angel.” Fuck no. No! I wouldn’t fucking do that. Seeing the bruise on her arm breaks me into pieces. I would never do anything to hurt her and here she is before my eyes and I see the damage. When am I going to stop hurting her?
“It’s okay, Nicholas. I’m not upset.”
“You should be. Look at me. I’m fucking turning into a monster. Angel, I don’t know what is wrong with me, but I’m sorry. I’m sorry for always hurting you. I need you to forgive me.” I wrap my arms around her, pulling on my body, needing to feel her heartbeat with mine. She’s my path; when I get lost, she’s the one who’ll always help me find my way. And it’ll lead me to my forever. My Angel. The way she fits in my arms is perfect. She’s my perfect.
Her body moves a little, causing me to get hard again.
“Round two?”
“Always,” I smirk.
BEING HERE WITH NICHOLAS IS RIGHT. This is where I belong; here in his arms, basking in the warmth of his love. Our love. Yet it scares me. Everything I’m feeling for him frightens me. He can’t stay with me forever, and a one-night stand isn’t what I’m looking for. I’m human and I have feelings too. He has to know that reality is waiting for us. I don
’t know what I’m thinking, but I know I don’t want to be without him. But then reality hits me. I cheated on Jensen and Nicholas cheated on Jamie. Before I can say anything, I turn over and watch him sleep. He looks so peaceful, like nothing is wrong in our lives.
I’ve never felt this way for a man before, not Bradley or anyone else. Nicholas is my true love, my one and only. I know he feels the same way, even though he picked Jamie. There’s more to the story and I’ll wait forever until he tells me the truth. I deserve to know. Softly, I touch his face and memorize every line and how he feels.
But then, his phone goes off, interrupting our moment. He suddenly wakes, looking at me, and then picks up his phone.
“It’s Jamie,” he quietly says. He leaves me alone in bed, taking the call to the bathroom.
I feel like a whore. A cheap fucking whore. How did I let this happen? He’s a married man and I’m dating Jensen. I’m a horrible person. Tears sting my eyes. As much as I hate Jamie, she doesn’t deserve to be cheated on. I can’t do this again. We can’t do this again.
His voice carries to the bedroom and I can hear him apologizing to her. Is this how I want my life to be? I can’t do this. My body shakes with pain. When Nicholas walks over to me, I can see his sorrow, even in the dark. We know we both messed up.
“You have to go, huh?” I try and keep my voice calm. He doesn’t need to know I’m falling apart, ready to break down and beg him to stay. Swallowing my feelings, I turn away and steady my emotions. I ball my hands into fists and try to relax. I know he’s not mine, but why does he have to leave? It’s not worth it for me to lose control.
Soft lips press on my neck. For a few moments, I forget about Jamie and pretend he’s mine again. I lose myself in his kisses, but then reality sinks herself into my eyesight.
“Do you really have to go?”
“Yeah, I do. She needs me right now.”
Throwing out everything I just thought, I jump into his arms and beg him to stay. “Don’t leave me, please. I love you so much. I’ll stop seeing Jensen. Just don’t leave me.” I feel his body tighten against mine. “Nicholas? Babe, I need you.”