When the Night Comes

by Teegan Loy

  “Lindy’s picking me up and I would appreciate it if you’d get the fuck out of here. I have nothing more —⁠”

  He brazenly stepped into my space, making my stomach clench into knots. He brushed his lips over mine, rendering me powerless, and for a few seconds, I melted into him. But then I came to my senses and shoved him, making him stumble backward.

  “Get away from me. You made it perfectly clear what I mean to you.”

  He stared at me, stunned, before racing to his car. He ripped the door open, climbed inside, and slammed it hard. He gunned the engine and almost ran into Lindy.

  She rolled down her window and flipped him off, but he was long gone.

  “What the hell is going on?” she hollered at me.

  “I have no idea. Can we just go,” I said rudely.

  She blasted the music and ignored me. When we pulled into the parking lot, I wanted to disappear. Ashley and Gavin looked like they were holding court, surrounded by most of the senior class. Lindy grinned and waved at them. I sat in the car until Lindy whipped the door open and threatened to junk punch me if I didn’t move.

  Of course, the moment I exited the vehicle, I caught sight of Skye with Brooke. She hung off him like plastic wrap. Lindy frowned and forced me to pay attention to her. She jumped on my back, insisting I give her a piggyback ride.

  The crowd of students parted and Gavin shouted. “I’m so fucking glad you moved here. It was a great year.”

  The students roared their approval. Gavin shook my hand before putting me in a headlock. I punched him in the side, but he didn’t let go of me. He spent the next fifteen minutes reliving the championship game.

  “I didn’t think we were going to do it,” Gavin said. “You were getting pummeled. Our guys weren’t getting it done. I don’t know how you survived the first half.”

  “My back hurt so bad . . .” I drifted back to the actual game. Skye had to help me off the field and into the locker room. The coach had taken one look at me and sent me to see the trainers. Skye had stuck by me and talked the trainers into letting him give me a massage. He’d worked on the soreness and kneaded the muscles until I felt the pain lessening.

  “And then in the second half,” Gavin shouted and waved his arms.

  Whatever the coach told the offensive line during halftime either scared the crap out of them or fired them up. No one from the defensive line touched me for the rest of the game.

  “With two minutes to go . . .” Gavin was broadcasting the final drive of the game like a sportscaster. “We’re down by six. We had the ball, but the end zone was seventy-five yards away. We methodically made our way down the field, getting closer with each play.

  “On third down and six, Ty hands the ball to Chase, and he makes the first down. Now we’re only fifty yards from the promised land. The clock says forty-five seconds and my heart is pounding. Tyler decides to shake off the play the coaching staff calls and tell us he’s going long to Skye. And let me tell you, it was a thing of beauty.”

  The crowd roared and Gavin paused to enjoy the moment.

  “It takes about ten seconds for Skye to get open. Tyler scrambled out of the pocket before lofting the ball down the field. It was a perfect spiral, dropping straight into Skye’s arms, who then raced away from the defense and scored the touchdown. The extra point clinched the game.”

  I let myself remember dashing down the field to reach Skye. It was a good thing we had on helmets or I may have fucking kissed him.

  “I can’t believe you aren’t playing anymore. I swear some of those scouts cried when you told them you were hanging up your cleats,” Gavin said.

  “My back can’t take the punishment. I want to be able to move around when I’m thirty.”

  We wandered into the school, arm and arm. Gavin insisted on rehashing the entire school year.

  We survived the lame grad practice, marching around the auditorium. Kids who were giving speeches had to stay behind. The rest of us were dismissed to go clean out our lockers.

  We hit the locker room first.

  “My god, V, did you never take any clothes home to be washed?”

  He shrugged as he stuffed everything into a garbage bag.

  “A few times,” he said. “I’ll catch up with you later. Ash is waiting for me by her locker. She thinks I come in handy when it comes to moving things.”

  “You are so whipped,” I said.

  He flipped me off and raced out of the room. Someone cleared their throat and I realized I was in the locker room alone with Skye.

  “It really was a great year,” Skye said.

  “Yeah, and now it’s over,” I snarled. “Excuse me.” I shouldered past him, but he grabbed my shirt, stopping me. When I turned around, he tried to kiss me. I blocked his attempt and thought about punching him in the face.

  “Tyler,” he said.

  “No. No more. It looks like you’re back with Brooke, and I hope you have a very happy life.” I shouldered my bag, walking out before he could say anything else.

  Lindy found me sitting in a chair in the far corner of the quad, staring out a window. My legs were still shaking. Apparently my heart still wanted Skye.

  “You ready to go?” she asked.

  “Yeah,” I said and followed her out of the school.

  The remainder of the week was awful. Brooke and Skye seemed to show up everywhere I turned, confessing their undying love for each other. Even Lindy asked if they were following us around town. Skye tried a few more times to talk to me when he thought we were alone, but I’d slip away before he could open his mouth.

  Everyone was on my case about the future, asking me what I was going to do and that it was very important to make the decisions. The majority of my classmates had selected a college. I felt like I was drowning in failure.

  The day before graduation I had a quiet dinner with Ashley and Mama. I listened to Ashley’s after-grad plans and smiled in all the right places. When Lindy showed up, she announced we were going out and then forced me to go to the senior blast, where I found myself standing by the edge of the lake holding a keg cup filled with cheap beer. Lindy was chatting about her summer plans. She said something about Europe and then coming back for school to become a nurse. I managed to tell her I was proud of her. It seemed to appease her and she quit questioning me. She fully caught my attention when she stopped talking and kicked me in the shin.

  “Ouch, what?”

  “Hey, Tyler, can I talk to you?” Skye asked.

  “We’re busy,” Lindy snarled.

  “I’ll bring him right back,” he answered sharply.

  She glared at him, and for a minute, I thought about telling him to get fucked.

  “It’s fine.” I kissed her on the top of the head and followed him down to the beach.

  “What’s wrong with Lindy? Did you tell her?” he asked.

  “What I tell Lindy is none of your fucking business. What do you want?”

  “I don’t know.” His voice cracked.

  “I can’t do this shit anymore.”

  He closed his eyes for a few seconds. “You won’t have to. I just wanted to say goodbye.”

  A loud buzzing noise filled my head, and my stomach dropped to my knees.

  “My mom and dad are bringing Brooke and me to Europe for the summer.”

  “Have a nice trip.”

  “Tyler, I —⁠”

  “Fuck off, Skye.”

  “No.” He sounded like a small child. “It’s just . . . I want . . . oh my god.”

  He buried his face in his hands. Seeing Skye fall apart wasn’t as satisfying as I’d imagined. My heart pounded against my rib cage so hard I started to wonder if I was actually having a heart attack.

  He blindly reached for me, grabbing my shirt and pulling me flush against his body. He ran his hands down my back and stared at me with such intensity it made my legs wobble. He leaned forward and softly kissed me.

  My brain kicked into gear and I pushed him, making him fall on
his ass. I left him in a pile of dirt and went in search of Lindy. She handed me another beer and I downed the entire cup. She eyed me and told me Brooke and Skye were drawing an audience.

  “Did you have anything to do with it?” she asked.

  “No.”

  At first I thought they were fighting, but then a loud roar went up from the group of kids. I watched as Skye pulled Brooke to his chest, enveloping her in his arms. Over the crowd, he spotted me and I stopped breathing. Instead of moving Brooke away, he kissed her. She parted her lips and he drove his tongue into her mouth. She was melting in his arms, and I was dying.

  “Let’s get out of here,” Lindy whispered.

  “I can’t move,” I said.

  Lindy managed to hustle me back to her car. I didn’t remember the drive home, but I did remember telling Lindy goodbye. What she didn’t know was that I really meant it. Not see you tomorrow or the next day, but a real goodbye. I think I talked to Mama for a few minutes before I stumbled into the basement and packed my bag.

  As the sun peeked over the horizon, I dropped a note on the table, explaining my reasons for leaving. It was only when I was tucked safely onto the plane that I remembered what Mama had said after we’d arrived in Middleton Lake.

  “Just promise me that you and Ashley will never hold grudges. The regret isn’t worth it. Forgiveness is easier.”

  This was the first time I was going to ignore her advice.

  Chapter Twelve

  Present Day

  When the alarm on my phone beeped, my muscles jerked, and I knocked over the bowl of popcorn, sending it all over the floor. The noise woke Joey and he immediately complained about the stiffness in his neck. I sighed and patted his arm.

  “What time is it?” Joey asked.

  “Too damn early.”

  “Are you ready for this?”

  “No, but I don’t have a choice. I have to go back.”

  “I can’t believe you just left. I mean, you told me you left, but I never knew if I really believed you. Holy shit, Tyler.”

  “I couldn’t cope. I felt like I was drowning and that everyone could see through my pain and unhappiness. I didn’t have a life plan. I didn’t know what to do.”

  “And you thought running away would solve everything?”

  “No, I just needed to get the hell out of there before I suffocated. And now I get to go back and face everyone I left behind.”

  A horrible feeling of helplessness settled in my chest. No matter what I did, I couldn’t avoid what was about to happen.

  I gathered my shit and tried to occupy my mind with something else besides Middleton Lake. I’d managed to lock that place out of my mind for almost five years, and now it was rearing its ugly head again. I really didn’t know if I had the strength to face my demons. I had an awful feeling that the minute I stepped off the plane, I’d be sucked back into the abyss of Middleton Lake, overwhelmed by all the memories.

  But I had to go. Lindy was right, and this was something I couldn’t take back. I needed to see Mama, because I’d never forgive myself if I didn’t say goodbye. I couldn’t live with the regret and guilt hanging over me for the rest of my life. If I held my breath and closed my eyes, maybe I could keep the past from flaring up and scorching me.

  For all I knew, Skye was long gone. Just after I’d left home, Mama had tried to relay a couple of messages from Skye, but I told her I had no interest in hearing any of them. She never mentioned him again. We’d never discussed the extent of my relationship with him, but I often wondered if she’d known about us.

  “Fuck.”

  “Do you have everything?” Joey asked.

  “I think so.”

  Joey stood and ran his fingers through his hair. I scribbled my flight information and handed it to him.

  “If you need anything, you call me. Don’t run away again.”

  “Thanks, Joey,” I mumbled. “I gotta go. “

  He patted my arm and stepped back. I shouldered my bags, and the second the apartment door closed, a strange, cold feeling swept through me.

  “I’m over you,” I grumbled.

  Thankfully, it was too early for anyone to be around to witness my ravings. I knew I was crazy, but I didn’t need the outside world to witness my breakdown.

  The airport was a nightmare. Besides the fun of the security check, the flight was overbooked, and now the airline was scrambling to throw people off the plane. The money they were offering to take a later flight was sounding better and better, but Lindy would kill me.

  After thirty minutes of shifting people around, we were ready for takeoff. I was doused with a case of extreme anxiety, so I ordered a drink. Lindy had warned me not to show up drunk, but my nerves were frazzled and I needed something to calm me down.

  “Are you okay?” a lady sitting next to me asked.

  “Sorry?” I wasn’t sure she was addressing me. I gulped my drink and handed the empty to the flight attendant as he walked by me.

  “You don’t look so good,” the lady said. She patted my hand, and I closed my eyes, swallowing back the lump forming in my throat.

  “I’m fine,” I said stiffly. I didn’t want to be rude, but I didn’t feel like discussing my problems with a complete stranger.

  “Sometimes it helps to talk about things,” she said softly.

  “I don’t think talking would help me.” I breathed out. “But thanks.”

  “Well, if you feel like dropping a few words, you know where to find me.” She patted my hand again, and I gave her a weak smile before shoving in my earbuds and turning on my music.

  Listening to music only intensified my anxiety. Every song brought up unwanted memories of him. I yanked the headphones from my ears and signaled the flight attendant for another drink. One more would be okay. The first didn’t do much to ease my nerves. I tried to sip this one but ended up swallowing it down like a thirsty man in the desert.

  “My mama is sick,” I murmured.

  “Is that the only thing?”

  I shook my head. “I’ve made some choices that weren’t popular, and now I’m going back to a place that’s filled with my mistakes.”

  I wasn’t sure why I kept talking, but maybe it was because she had a kind, grandmotherly face, or maybe I was just losing my shit.

  “It’s okay to be angry, but eventually it’s best to forgive the past and let it go. Anger is too much work, and it has a habit of taking over one’s life if we let it.”

  “You sound like my mama.” I chuckled and relaxed a bit.

  “She must be a wise woman.”

  “I haven’t seen her in five years, and now I’m going back to say goodbye. If someone offered me a parachute, I’d probably take it.”

  “Things are never as awful as we make them out to be,” she said stoically.

  “This is pretty bad.”

  “You seem like a strong young man, I’m sure you’ll get through it.” She smiled and caught the eye of the flight attendant by waving my empty glass in the air. I had another drink in my hand before I could blink.

  “I’m not that strong. I fucking . . . er, sorry. I ran away instead of staying to fight. I just gave up and left.”

  “Honey, we all run away sometimes. The important thing is you’re going back to face them.”

  “Not by choice. If I had my way, I’d be in and out without anyone ever realizing I was there.”

  “You sound like you want to live in the shadows. That’s not good. We only have one life.” She snorted. “Unless you believe in reincarnation, then you get a few more shots. Personally, I never understood that. I certainly don’t want to come back as a beetle or some shit like that.”

  She had a point.

  “For most of us, this is it, and it’s not fun to live in fear or have regrets hanging over your head. I lost someone I deeply cared for three years ago. I didn’t think I could go on living. I’m an old lady. What was the point? But one day I woke up and realized my life was a gift and it was my job to li
ve it the best way I knew how. Hiding away in the dark wasn’t fun. I’m running in the light now and living each day like it’s my last. I’m having a fucking blast.” She smirked at me. “I may be a little older than you, but I still know how to toss out a few curse words to get my point across.”

  “Thanks for the advice.”

  “Advice is easy to give. The hard part is acting on it.”

  I finished my drink and set the empty glass on the tray before slipping my earbuds back on. Right before I hit play, I swear I heard the woman whisper something that sounded like be golden. A shiver ran down my spine.

  When the plane touched down, my stomach was in knots and I was tempted to ask the flight attendant for a shot of their strongest booze. My seatmate placed her hand on my knee.

  “You’ll be okay,” she said firmly.

  I wanted to believe her, but my mouth was dry and my limbs felt numb. As people started walking off the plane, I managed to collect my bag and slide into line. The dread grew with each step.

  The only bright spot I could think of was I didn’t have to face Lindy first. I was glad Gavin would be the one picking me up.

  Even though the crowds were large, Gavin was easy to spot. He had a knack for standing out. I felt like I needed to brace myself for a punch to the face. I hadn’t even made it back for his and Ashley’s wedding. He probably hated me, but as I drew closer, a wide grin broke across his face, and I soon found myself wrapped in his enormous arms.

  “Fuck, Ty, it’s good to see you. Goddamn, I can’t believe you’re here. Ashley’s going to be so happy. Plus she owes me a case of beer. She bet me you wouldn’t show.”

  “Can’t blame her. She went with the better odds.” I cleared my throat. “Hey, I’m sorry I didn’t make it back for the wedding. I just . . .”

  He shook his head. “You had your reasons, and I don’t hold anything against you. I remember what happened.”