All That I Am: A Victorian Historical Romance (The Hesitant Husbands Series Book 1)

by Grace Hartwell

  “Just smile and nod, sweetheart,” he whispered in her ear. “This is supposed to be a fun evening.”

  Elizabeth obeyed and plastered a smile on her face as they were lead into the ballroom and formally announced.

  Conversation died around them immediately as their names rolled out over the crowd. Slowly, everyone turned to stare at the Earl of Ashby and the woman on his arm, blatant curiosity on their faces. Mother in heaven, Elizabeth thought.

  This had most definitely been a terrible idea.

  Chapter 25

  Elizabeth stopped breathing. She was obviously the subject of interest tonight, and she desperately tried not to wither under the scrutiny of the fifty or so pairs of eyes that were trained on her. Thankfully, the music was still playing and the dancers were still dancing, though some were trying to take a peek at the couple even as they twirled around the floor. Nearby, however, was silence. Elizabeth forced a deep breath and bestowed her best smile on the crowd as Aidan protectively placed his hand over hers in the crook of his arm.

  “Lord Ashby!” a sweet voice rang out. “So good of you to come.”

  The most attractive woman Elizabeth had ever seen stood before them in the receiving line. She was tall and thin, with hair that was stunningly white, the color and lustre of pearls. She had wise, blue eyes that crinkled at the corners, indicating she had spent a good deal of her life smiling. She offered her cheek to Aidan for a kiss, and there was an unmistakable elegance about her that told Elizabeth who she was before he spoke the words.

  “Duchess.” Aidan smiled, obliging her with a kiss. “You are lovely as ever. Thank you for hosting this little get together.”

  “Ah, you know how I love a good party. What better way to start off the season?” She turned her gaze to Elizabeth and bestowed upon her a brilliant smile.

  “Your Grace, may I introduce Miss Elizabeth Townsend? Miss Townsend, please meet Isabella Whitmore, the Duchess of Addendale.”

  “Pleased to make your acquaintance, Your Grace,” Elizabeth said, curtsying. Aidan had told her that the duchess and his mother had been best friends, and so she had known him since birth. She looked on him as one of her own.

  “My dear Miss Townsend! May I take a moment to thank you for saving our beloved Lord Ashby's life? Such a brave woman you are!” the Duchess declared, at a volume that would ensure that everyone within earshot knew that Elizabeth Townsend was not only welcome in her home, but also had the Duchess in her corner. Conversation slowly began to return, and Elizabeth smiled gratefully as she began to breathe again.

  “You are too kind, Your Grace. It was not so much an act of bravery as a reaction, but I thank you for your kind words.”

  “I am glad to see you are well healed after your trauma, and able to grace us with your presence this evening. You are a strong woman, indeed,” she replied, the double meaning of her words clear. She squeezed Elizabeth's hand. "Allow me to introduce you to a few young ladies who can help you navigate the den of dragons this evening. Ladies!” she called, instantly commanding the attention of three nearby girls. They flocked to her side immediately. “May I present Miss Elizabeth Townsend? Miss Townsend, allow me to introduce Miss Lydia Blousson, Miss Anne Hastings, and Miss Ella Beauregard. Ladies, this is Miss Townsend's very first ball. I trust you will help her enjoy herself.”

  “Yes, Your Grace, of course,” Lydia bubbled.

  Within seconds, Elizabeth was surrounded by the girls and separated from Aidan. The Duchess turned clear blue eyes to him.

  “Oh, Aidan, she’s lovely.”

  “Miss Townsend, how wonderful to see you again,” Anne Hastings said, smiling. “You look incredibly fetching tonight.”

  “Yes, you are certainly exquisite!” Lydia appeared ready to burst. “I was simply mad with jealously when I had heard Anne had already met you!” She had a mass of dark, curly hair and incredibly bright blue eyes. Her freckled face was round, her cheeks full, and Elizabeth suspected she appeared younger than she actually was, though Elizabeth would put her at about nineteen. “Tell us, Miss Townsend…or may I call you Elizabeth? What is it like to be a heroine?” Lydia practically shouted in her excitement.

  “Lydia, do calm down,” Anne scolded. “You're being rude.”

  “Oh, she's not,” Elizabeth countered. “And please, do call me Elizabeth. I'm afraid I'm not as much a heroine as everyone makes me out to be. I saw the man who had just rescued me in need of some rescuing of his own, and I had to help. That's all.”

  Lydia's eyes grew huge. “He rescued you? I didn't hear that part of the story!”

  “Lydia, please,” Ella chimed in. Ella was taller than either of the other two, with mousy brown hair and huge brown eyes that reflected a genuine soul. “Give the girl a moment to breathe. Can't you see you're embarrassing her?”

  “I'm sorry,” Lydia gushed, not looking the least bit apologetic. “It's just that I've been dying to meet you, and here you are! You've been the talk of the town for two months now. I mean, you saved the Earl of Ashby from a runaway carriage and were almost killed yourself in the process. What a romantic story! And Lord Ashby, of all people. I mean, he's just so…so…” Lydia stopped, at a loss for words for the first time in her life.

  “Handsome?” Anne supplied.

  “Wonderful?” Ella sighed.

  “Oh, he's the very thing a girl's dreams are made of!” Lydia blurted.

  Elizabeth’s hand went to her mouth. She had seen Aidan approaching, but couldn’t stop Lydia’s outburst in time. She was sure he’d heard every word.

  “Pardon me, ladies,” he said from behind Lydia. Her eyes went round as saucers and she flushed scarlet all the way up to her hairline when she heard Aidan’s voice. She took a step sideways and disappeared behind Ella, who was struggling to keep a straight face. If Aidan knew that they had been talking about him, he didn't show it. Only Elizabeth caught the mirth in his eyes. “Miss Townsend, may I have the honor of a dance?” he said, bowing slightly and holding out his hand.

  “I'd be delighted,” she replied, placing her gloved hand in his. “If you'll excuse me,” she said, nodding to the girls. “It was nice to meet you. I hope we can continue this conversation later in the evening.”

  Aidan led her out to the dance floor, leaving the girls to stare adoringly after him.

  “Well, you must be quite pleased with yourself, my lord.”

  “I can't imagine what you mean,” he answered her in a tone that belied his words.

  “'The very thing a girl's dreams are made of!'” Elizabeth giggled. “Quite flattering words, are they not?”

  Aidan's laughter rumbled through his chest. “I promise not to let it go to my head,” he said, sweeping her into his arms. He gazed down at her. “You are so beautiful,” he said softly. “You know that, don't you?” She looked away, embarrassed. He grinned at her. “You have, however committed a serious faux pas.”

  She snapped her attention back to him. “I have? What have I done?”

  “You've managed to outshine every woman here. Usually that's reserved for the hostess.”

  “Aidan…” Elizabeth's voice trailed off. He was making it very difficult for her to be strong and walk away from him tomorrow. She felt her resolve weakening with every kind word, every warm smile. She realized she had come to care very deeply for him, and she tried to put herself in his place. If he harbored a terrible secret, could she still care for him even after he told her the truth?

  She didn’t want to admit the answer, even to herself.

  Because admitting the truth would put her heart on the line. And even though she was now free of the man who had dogged her for years, she still had a mission to complete. She’d return to her hometown, start asking questions. Someone must know what happened that night.

  She glanced around the ballroom at all the glittering ladies and finely-dressed men. She should belong to this world, but she didn't. Not anymore. She couldn't ask Aidan to give this up. Love would not be enough to overcome being
ostracized from society, which she knew would happen if her secret ever got out. No, she had to be strong and leave all this behind. She'd been on her own for years; so she would be again. Aidan would find someone suitable to marry and live a long happy life.

  Without her.

  Her throat unexpectedly closed off and she blinked back threatening tears.

  “Elizabeth?”

  She shook her head to clear her thoughts and brought Aidan's face into focus.

  “The music has stopped,” he said. “Are you well?”

  She swallowed hard and nodded. Aidan rested her hand in the crook of his elbow and led her back toward Anne, who had been watching them dance with rapt attention. She was smiling.

  It appeared that the Earl of Ashby was finally off the market.

  Chapter 26

  “Are you enjoying your evening so far, Elizabeth?” Anne asked later, coming up behind her.

  “Very much so,” Elizabeth replied. “More than I thought I would.” She had run into the Everetts, and Will had kindly asked her to dance. She hadn't truly expected to do much dancing since she was sure that no man in his right mind would want to be seen with her. And Lainey had introduced her to some more of her friends who had been very kind to her. And there was, of course, Lydia, whom Elizabeth had barely been able to shake loose all evening. She'd wanted to hear every romantic detail of the past eight weeks. Elizabeth thought her very sweet, and highly amusing.

  “You were very brave to come here tonight, Miss Townsend. I do not know that I would have made the same choice.”

  “I'm not sure if it was bravery or stupidity,” Elizabeth quipped. “But so far, it's been a peaceful evening.”

  Anne laughed, the sound like music. She glanced over Elizabeth's shoulder and her laughter died on her lips. “I'm afraid that's about to change.”

  Elizabeth turned to follow her gaze and saw Margaret Burnham and her herd striding toward them. “Oh dear,” she sighed. “And I was enjoying myself so thoroughly.”

  Margaret Burnham was one of the dragons she had been warned about. Lainey put up with her only because her mother was a large part of Aidan's business. The Burnhams were incredibly wealthy, but not titled. Lainey was quite sure Mrs. Burnham requested her dressmakers use only silks imported by Lockwood Imports in order to secure Aidan’s attentions for Margaret, but Aidan had only ever been civil to her, much to Mrs. Burnham’s disappointment. Margaret was a classic beauty, with blonde hair, cornflower blue eyes, and a petite, turned-up nose, but her attractiveness ended there. She was hopelessly conceited, spoiled, and considered herself far superior to any other human being. She'd insisted on an introduction to Elizabeth, but as soon as it had been accomplished, Lainey had whisked Elizabeth away and managed to keep them separate all evening.

  Until now. “Miss Townsend,” Margaret trilled. “How good of you to join us this evening. I didn't get to speak with you at length earlier. Are you enjoying yourself?” Her overly bright tone indicated trouble to Elizabeth.

  “Indeed I am, Miss Burnham,” Elizabeth nodded, polite coolness in her voice. “Are you having a pleasant evening as well?”

  “Quite so. There are many fine gentlemen here to partner with in a dance. I daresay my card is already half full.” She tittered, artfully snapping open her fan and hiding coyly behind it.

  “How lovely for you.” Elizabeth smiled serenely. This woman made the hair on the back of her neck stand on end. “I'm sure Lord Ashby's name must be on it many times,” she added innocently. Anne nudged Elizabeth with an elbow jab, but Elizabeth ignored her. She was going to have fun.

  Margaret's eyes narrowed. “I know you do not understand the rules of society, so I will forgive that impertinence. You should know, however, that it is unseemly to dance more than three dances with a lady in an evening, even if one is courting the lady. ”

  “My apologies,” Elizabeth said tightly. “Thank you for enlightening me. I suppose you are not in danger of being unseemly since I haven’t yet seen you dance with the earl.”

  Anne began to fan herself furiously as Margaret’s eyes narrowed further.

  “I must admit, I was surprised to see you here,” she said casually, snapping her fan shut. “Lord Ashby hardly ever escorts anyone to a ball, save for his sister. And his taste in women usually runs to high standards. But I suppose Lord Ashby felt he owed it to you after keeping you all to himself these past weeks.” She smiled sweetly. Her words were carefully chosen to sound innocuous, but Elizabeth could hear the venom behind them. Elizabeth knew in an instant that Margaret Burnham wanted Aidan, and this conversation was being driven by nothing more than jealousy.

  “It is I who owe him a great deal,” she replied. “I cannot repay him for the kindness he has bestowed upon me.”

  “Indeed.” Margaret raised one eyebrow. “I'm sure you can think of something. You must have learned all manner of talents living on the street as you do.”

  Stunned silence fell on the party surrounding the two women. Margaret’s cronies were soaking in every word, waiting to see what happened next. This was incredible fodder for gossip.

  Elizabeth drew in a deep breath to calm herself before she knocked out Margaret's perfect teeth. “You do not know anything about my life, Miss Burnham, no matter what you may think. You have no idea what circumstances have befallen me to land me in the position in which I now find myself.”

  “Well, we'd surely like to know, Miss Townsend,” she said, indicating the two women standing next to her. “Do enlighten us.”

  “I don't particularly care to discuss it with anyone.”

  “Yes, of course. I'm being terribly nosey, aren't I?” Margaret laughed. “I'm just trying to get to know you better. After all, it's best not to have any secrets if you are going to try to parade yourself around as one of us.”

  Elizabeth paled. Did this woman know something she ought not? Was she the one who sent that note? Elizabeth took a steadying breath and pasted a smile on her face. “Believe me, Miss Burnham. I have no intention of that. I am not, nor, thankfully, will I ever be, one of you.”

  “Careful, darling,” Margaret said evenly. “That sounded like a snub, and I daresay one would not want to offend me. It might make things difficult for one in society.”

  Elizabeth tilted her head, the breeze from Anne’s overworked fan stirring the curl at her temple. “Are you threatening me, Miss Burnham?”

  “Not at all. I'm just giving you advice because I know you don't know all the rules of the game. It's rather magnanimous of me, don't you think? I do so like to help the underprivileged.” She leaned slightly forward, a calculating glint in her eye. “Now tell me, Miss Townsend, woman to woman,” she said in a voice that was just a little too loud, “I'm just dying to know. What's it like to warm the bed of London's most eligible bachelor?”

  By God, he was going to wring that woman's neck. Aidan had come to claim Elizabeth for a dance, but had stepped behind a potted fern when he’d heard his name enter the conversation. He’d wanted to see how Elizabeth handled herself, but this last statement from that vile woman was simply beyond the pale. He was about to step into the group of women to defend Elizabeth when her cool reply stopped him in his tracks.

  “Jealous, are you?”

  Aidan's eyes widened. He didn't want to get any rumors confirmed. But he held his position as he watched Elizabeth fold her arms across her chest, a decidedly disdainful look on her face.

  “Poor Margaret,” she crooned, pouting just slightly. ”You've been trying for years to win the affections of his lordship, but you haven't been able to, have you? Don't fret, darling. As you said,” she pointed out, leveling her gaze at Margaret, “he does have high standards.”

  Aidan nearly choked keeping his laughter at bay. He watched as Margaret puffed herself up like a peacock, her eyes fiery with indignation.

  “You insolent wench! How dare you speak to me like that!”

  “I speak only as I am spoken to, Miss Burnham,” Elizabeth returned, “an
d I am only stating the truth. You are jealous. But not because you think I am warming his lordship's bed, which, I assure you, I most certainly am not.” She uncrossed her arms and leaned in toward Margaret. “You're jealous because you know I warm his heart. Good evening.” She turned on her heel to walk away, and slammed right into Aidan's great expanse of chest.

  She bounced off of him and stumbled backward. “My lord,” she mumbled, dropping a curtsy. Laughter tittered around her and she stared at the floor, her cheeks flaming.

  “Miss Townsend,” he returned, bowing his head slightly. “Ladies. Do forgive the intrusion, but our hosts have requested an audience with Miss Townsend.”

  Her gaze snapped up to meet his, her eyes wide with surprise.

  He nodded to the group. “Ladies…Miss Burnham,” he added, a wicked smile on his face. “Do forgive me for spoiling your…fun,” he said darkly. With that, he calmly led Elizabeth away.

  “Did the Duke and Duchess really ask to see me?” she asked when they were out of earshot.

  “No. But I would like to talk to them, and introduce you to their son…and it seemed you were in need of some rescuing.”

  “I suppose you heard that conversation,” Elizabeth mumbled, her cheeks flaming.

  “Every last word. And I think you were marvelous!” He grinned.

  “Truly?”

  He nodded. “Lainey will be so proud when I tell her of how you put that viper in her place.”

  “I do know how to make a scene, don’t I?”

  Aidan laughed heartily as they made their way around the edge of the ballroom. “Have I told you how resplendent you look tonight?”

  “I think you did mention it, yes,” she replied, blushing furiously.

  “Ah. I see you've so affected me that I now forget myself.” He whispered in her ear, “I can hardly remember who I was before I met you.”