The Love And Loss of Joshua James (The Cattleman's Daughters: Companion Book 3)

by Danni Roan

  He nodded, swallowing hard, catching a glimpse of the thin, wet material wrapping her body.

  "I think I will marry you, Joshua James." Her lips turned up in a soft smile and she lowered her head, kissing him again. It was several minutes before they stopped to breathe again.

  "You don't even know me," Joshua whispered against her neck, pulling back hard on his need for her.

  Her smile was wide and full of hunger. "I see you, Joshua James. From the first time my eyes fell on you, I could see you." She moved her hand to a place over his heart. "Here you have room for one more love, here you where you already hold so much."

  Softly she kissed him again. "Hope, love, joy and sorrow. They are all mixed up in there, making you who you are, and you are beautiful."

  Joshua closed his eyes, shutting out the truth that shone in her eyes, as he shook his head.

  Hands chilled by the water that spilled around them came to rest on his face and he opened his eyes. "Don't fight this, Joshua. There are things in this world worth fighting. Things that will hurt others and things that will help many, but this is not the thing to fight."

  "What do you want with me?" he asked, his words like gravel scraping through a tight throat.

  "I want you."

  "I'm ten years older than you."

  "My heart is old," she answered with a smile and squirmed backward off his legs. "Come," she demanded, standing and reaching out a hand. "You will catch cold."

  As warm as he felt he doubted it, but he took her hand nonetheless and climbed to his feet, icy water pooling in his boots.

  Sue Lynn lifted her sodden skirts and hustled to the bank, where the fish and fishing rod now lay still and lifeless. She stepped past them and took her shirt from a bush, pulling it over her shoulders with a shiver.

  Joshua follower her, his boots squelching with each step. "We're gonna look a sight turnin' up at the ranch like this," he said, a warm flush spreading across his face at the thought.

  "Why does it matter?" Sue Lynn questioned, buttoning the last hole on her top. "We did nothing wrong. All we did was catch a fish." She walked to where the large trout lay still on the grass and lifted it in one hand.

  "I think I'd better clean that before we head in, then," he offered, taking it and pulling a pocket knife from his hip pocket.

  A half hour later they were both sitting on his horse, who'd happily enjoyed the interlude, grazing the lush grass along the stream. "Are you cold?" Joshua asked, a light breeze tugging at his wet shirt.

  "No," Sue Lynn replied, nestling her cheek against his shoulder from behind him. "You seem to be able to keep me warm." She giggled and Joshua smiled, shaking his head, and kicked his cowpony into an easy jog.

  Chapter 27

  Sue Lynn slipped off the back of the horse and shivered. Somehow the sun had slipped behind the big barn and without the warmth of Joshua’s body pressed against hers, she felt a chill that hadn’t been there before.

  “I’m going to head over to the bath house,” she said. “I’ll put extra water on for you and you can wash and get warm once you put the horse up. She reached out and took his hand, looking so far up at him. “I’ll miss you.”

  Joshua chuckled as she dashed away. The woman didn’t seem to believe in doing anything slowly. He blushed at how he’d kissed her earlier. Talk about fast.

  Twenty minutes later he left the barn, heading toward the bath house where soft puffs of smoke drifted from the pipe that rose out of the top. The sauna would feel good today. He rolled his shoulders, feeling the deep chill trying to settle there.

  Sue Lynn was leaving the tiny building as he arrived. Her inky tresses were wrapped in a sheet of toweling and she’d put on the loose-fitting trousers and long jacket-type shirt again. She smiled as he approached, then stepped into his path, kissing him quickly and raced toward the house.

  The heavy tread of other boots made Joshua blush as he spotted his father-in-law striding toward the bath house as well. He’d been working in the soddy with plaster all day and looked a mess.

  “Josh,” the older man called, walking up the two steps that brought him into the bath house. It was a nice space. Heavy, wooden planks covered the raised floor and a tall pump sat securely in a mound of rocks stuck through the floor.

  A tiny, potbellied stove puffed steam from two galvanized buckets of water sitting on its small, round burners.

  "You get in an argument with a creek?" Isadoro asked, rubbing his muddied hands in the still-full wash tub. The elongated galvanized tub was just about big enough for an adult- but it required some contorted effort to get washed from top to bottom.

  Joshua didn't say anything. Instead he picked up an empty bucket and filled it will cold water from the pump. The room was warm and humid and he filled his lungs with the damp air.

  "You gonna jaw or wash up?" he asked, a feeling of shame washing over him again.

  "I'll get washed then join ya in that sweat box you like," Is said.

  Joshua tossed his hat onto a peg outside the little door on the far wall and walked inside, peeling off his wet shirt as he went. He could still hear the older man splashing and spluttering as he crawled into the tub.

  On the other side of the wall, the heavy stove pipe ascended the inside wall, jutting through the roof at an angle. In a sling suspended beneath the hot tubing was a collection of river rocks, snapping with heat.

  Joshua walked over and lifted a wooden scoop from a peg on the wall, dipped it in his bucket, and poured cold water over the hot rocks, which gave a hiss of protest that filled the room with steam.

  A weary sigh escaped him as he scooped another ladle full of water over the rocks, then sat back on a small bench that ran the length of the minuscule room. The heat and steam seemed to sink into his muscles and his skin prickled with sweat. He closed his eyes, leaning into the wall.

  The door creaked open and cold air rushed in, making Joshua shiver. "You'd think it was cold out there," Isadoro laughed.

  He'd wrapped a towel around his waist and still dripping, padded in to sit on the wooden bench.

  For long moments, only the sound of steam hissing from a fresh ladle of water filled the room, until Isadoro finally spoke.

  "Something bothering you son?" he asked, his bright brown eyes pinning Joshua to the spot.

  Joshua drew in a deep breath of the hot acrid air, then turned toward the older man. "I don't know," he said, sounding lost and confused.

  "Maybe if you tell me about it, I can help," Isadoro said patiently. "Seem's that if family will really listen, they can usually work things out."

  Joshua smiled halfheartedly.

  "It's Sue Lynn, isn't it?" Is asked patiently.

  Joshua groaned and nodded. Isadoro's soft chuckle surprised him and the lifted his head to look at his father-in-law.

  "Son, it's plain to see that girl's already got you twisted into knots." He chuckled again. "I think just about everyone can tell she's set her cap for you, but you."

  Joshua blinked. "It ain't right," he grumbled.

  "Why?"

  "That's what she said." Joshua blushed, thinking of being tangled up with the girl at the creek.

  "Seems like a fair question to me." Isadoro rubbed the stubble on his chin as the sweat beaded on his neck and torso.

  "Is, I've already been married twice and that girl doesn't know a thing about me. She's ten years my junior and should be with a young man."

  "Seem's like you've got it all straight in your head."

  Joshua studied his friend and father-in-law. "It ain't my head that's the problem," he mumbled.

  "So you fancy her?"

  Joshua's deep sigh was answer enough.

  "Is that wrong for some reason?" Isadoro asked, his clear gaze holding his son-in-law in place. "Seems to me that you'd have learned that life does not offer any promises and that if you find some bit of happiness, some measure of love, you should grasp it with both hands and not let go."

  "Isadoro, I've only know her f
or two weeks."

  "You saying that is not enough time to know someone?"

  "Yes."

  "Why?"

  "Well, you get all tangled up in your thoughts when you're attracted to someone. It's like you ain't thinkin' straight."

  "Is that really the problem, or are you still feeling like it would be dishonoring the memory of my daughter to move on?"

  Isadoro's words cut Joshua to the quick. There was no avoiding the obvious physical attraction he felt for Sue Lynn, but was that anything to build a relationship on?

  "Did you know that I didn't get to choose my wife?" Isadoro asked.

  Joshua looked at him, his eyes wide. "What'a ya mean, you didn't choose?"

  "Well I guess I could have refused, but my marriage was arranged by my mother and my uncles. Back in Sicily, that was the way things were done." He paused as if remembering. "You see, Bianca came from a good family and she had a good dowry, a slip of land that my uncle wanted."

  He studied Joshua's face, trying to gauge his reaction. "Bianca's family lived near ours and it made sense to make alliances. She was presented to me by my uncle and we agreed that I would ask to marry her. She was a mighty pretty thing even back then," he added, smiling.

  "So you just got hitched before you even knew her?"

  "Well we had a little time to get to know each other, but you know how that is. Everyone is just putting on their best and trying to be perfect. I agreed to marry her and we were soon wed. We lived with my parents to start, but soon discovered that we wanted more and America seemed like the promised land to us." He turned his cinnamon-colored eyes back to Joshua.

  "My point is, we didn't know each other very well, but we learned to love each other through the good times and the bad." He smiled softly. "We had some rough times before we came here as well. Bia' had a hard time with pregnancies and Cammy was the only child that survived." His bright eyes grew dark with sorrow.

  Joshua reached out and took the smaller man's hand, the shared pain of losing one you love creating a bond between them that needed no words.

  "My point is, sometimes you have to take a chance." Isadoro spoke, his voice rough. "You hear these tales of young women coming west to marry as mail-order brides. If they can do it, why can't you? Why not take a chance and find some joy?"

  Isadoro rose to his feet and padded back to the door, grasping the smooth, wooden handle in his hand. "Besides," he said, turning back with a grin, "maybe it will save you from a bad case of pneumonia."

  ***

  "What are your intentions concerning my Pa?" Katie asked, a small hand resting on narrow hips as she examined Sue Lynn in the light of the parlor window.

  "Where did you hear such a thing?" Sue asked, her bright smile full of wonder.

  "I heard Grans Isadoro ask my pa that about Cammy when I was little," Katie replied matter-of-factly, her pale green gaze steady.

  Sue could almost see eye to eye with the girl, who was studying her carefully.

  "What if I said I intend to marry your pa?" she finally asked.

  Katie titled her head, her long golden braid swinging over her shoulder. "I think that would be alright," she said, "but only if you promise to make him happy. He needs to laugh more."

  Sue Lynn smiled, opening her arms wide. "I think I'd like to see your pa laugh more. I'd like to see you laugh, too."

  Katie hesitated only a moment, then let herself sink into the woman's arms. "I think you'll be able to make Pa laugh if anyone can," she agreed, giving Sue Lynn a mighty hug, "but ya got to keep learning to ride, too."

  Sue Lynn laughed. "It's a deal."

  Chapter 28

  "I guess you get your way," Chen Lou grumbled as he helped his granddaughter into the heavy gown with the bundled waist and long skirt.

  "I guess I do," she offered brightly as she leaned over and kissed him on the cheek.

  "You sure about this?" he asked, his dark, crinkled eyes worried.

  "Yes."

  "You never had any doubt, did you?"

  "No." She took his hand. "Ye-ye, life is short, uncertain and beautiful. We should find the time to love, to laugh, to live." She spread her arms wide, as if offering herself to the sky. "I love Joshua, even if you do not believe it can happen in one month. I know how I feel. I must follow my heart."

  Chen Lou bobbed his head, trying to accept that his little girl was grown and would soon belong to someone else. "One day I will be gone. It is good you will have someone to look after you."

  Sue Lynn chuckled. "Ye-ye, I think you will live forever." She smiled, caressing his cheek. "You will see my children grown and married and their children will play at your feet."

  "I think I would enjoy that," he agreed, his eyes twinkling with the beautiful dream. "Now come, you will go to marry that big man with the not white hair."

  She took his arm and smiled brightly. “Today a new chapter starts in my life, but at least I get to keep some of the old.”

  It was a simple ceremony, blending the knowledge of two worlds to join together two people. The crew of the Broken J stood in the open yard of the ranch.

  Billy had laid a broom in the dust and little motes danced in the sun as Joshua and Sue Lynn linked hands. That strange electric shiver ran through him again as they touched.

  Chen Lou pulled a long, red scarf from his baggy pocket and wrapped it tightly around their wrists, binding them together, then stepped back.

  “Do you Joshua James take this spritely little woman, Sue Lynn ta be yer wife?” Billy asked, making everyone smile.

  “I do,” Joshua replied, excitement thrumming through him at the thought this woman would want him.

  “And how’s about you, Sue Lynn? You sure you want this old gal-loot ta have and ta hold?”

  “I’m sure,” she replied, her dark eyes bright and merry.

  “Weel then jump on over that there broom, and we’ll call ya hitched,” Billy said, stepping back as together Joshua and Mae leapt over the broom.

  “Now kiss her, Pa!” Katie called brightly.

  Joshua dipped his head to kiss his new bride, but before his lips met hers, she’d wrapped her free arm around his neck and pulled him close meeting his kiss with her own and kissing him soundly.

  The sound of clapping made them break the kiss and Joshua turned, blushing, toward his family, while Sue squeezed his hand.

  “Now let’s get to the eatin’!” Billy shouted, heading off toward the back porch.

  Chen Lou waved his hand at the newlyweds, making them scurry to him. Gently he unwound the bright silk that bound their arms. “Silk is very strong,” he said, slowly unwinding the folds, “yet it is soft. This is how love should be.” He pulled the fabric away with a flourish. “You are strong for each other, holding tight, but soft and tender at same time.”

  Sue Lynn leaned in and kissed his cheek. “Yes Ye-ye.,” she whispered. “Love is gentle and kind.”

  “Pa?” Fiona sidled up to them. “Is Sue Lynn my new ma now?”

  “Yes, I guess she is,” he replied. “Do you think that’s alright?”

  “Yeah,” the girl said, still studying the face of the small woman whose fingers twined with Joshua’s. “What should I call her, then?” She tipped her stormy eyes up to him, a worried expression on her face.

  “What would you like to call me?” Sue Lynn took up the thread of conversation.

  Fiona shrugged. “Katie says I already had two mas, so I dunno?”

  “Why don’t you just call me Sue, then?” Sue Lynn offered. “I’m happy to be a part of your beautiful family and have such sweet girls to love.”

  Fiona smiled and nodded, making her curls bounce before she turned and dashed off toward the tables full of food.

  Katie slipped around behind Sue Lynn’s back as her little sister raced away and took the young woman’s other hand. “I’m glad too,” she said.

  Joshua smiled, his heart full of hope and gratitude that his girls had someone else to love.

  As the wedding
supper came to an end, Deeks pulled out an old harmonica and Stevens brought his guitar from the bunkhouse. Walters rosined his bow and soon soft music filled the golden end of day.

  Isadoro offered his hand to Nona and stepped into the soft grass of the back yard, while Chen Lou lit small lamps along the porch rails.

  Joshua grasped Sue Lynn’s hand and followed his in-laws as they danced around the yard. Old Billy took turns dancing with each of the girls, and even the twins dashed and pranced about.

  Sue Lynn held tight to Joshua as he twirled her around the yard. For today she would revel in the love she saw burgeoning in his eyes.

  It also didn’t hurt that she’d snagged the best-looking cattle man in Wyoming. Life was funny, a chance meeting could change so much.

  As darkness fell, Joshua spirited his new bride away as the strands of soft guitar music filled the warm night. He didn’t know what he’d done to deserve yet another chance at love, but in letting go and trusting that all things happen for a reason, his heart drank in the joy of their union.

  Only time would tell what the future held for them. Faith was nothing if you didn’t let go of your fear.

  ***

  "That woman sure was a fire cracker,” Joshua chuckled, his pale blue eyes coming back into focus and noticing his grandson studying the face of the young woman sitting next him. “She kept us all on our toes and had more than enough energy to keep up with the girls.” He smiled, remembering.

  “When she had Mae it was the happiest day of her life,” Joshua continued. “That little girl’s been turning us all in knots ever since.” He laughed again softly.

  “Nona says she’s Reese’s problem now,” Eric added, his bright blue eyes sparkled shyly at his new bride.

  “Grandpa?” a girl of about fourteen, her brown braids touched with gold, stepped through the screen door. “Nona says you’re to come in for dinner now.” She eyed the newcomer as she walked to her grandfather.

  “I’m Mary,” she offered, looking at the blonde woman who sat across from Joshua.

  “Hello Mary, I’m Joan,” the tall, lean woman replied. Her dark green eyes flicked to Eric’s nervously.