Renegade

by Erica Stevens

He stumbled slightly backward as she lurched sharply against him with the full force of her small weight. He kept hold of the collar of her shirt though, clinging to her as she tried to dart forward, tried to pull free of his hold. She was far more stubborn, wild, and determined to escape than he had thought she would be. He knew she was a spitfire, but she was a lot more volatile than he recalled her being. She flung herself forward; the thin material of her clothing tore within his tight hold.

  She staggered, seemingly just as surprised as him to be momentarily free of his grasp. He dove at her, wrapping his arms around her waist as he caught hold of her. She cried out softly in surprise as they tumbled to the ground. Though he didn’t care about her, he shifted his weight away from her, trying not to crush her beneath him as they rolled over the ground. She was frantic now, squirming against him, her terror evident as she tried to escape his ironclad grasp.

  He was surprised by the brief moment of guilt that tugged at him. He wanted her to pay for her perfidy, but he had not meant to terrify her to this extreme. She tried to stagger to her feet, but he kept hold of her waist, pulling her back underneath him as he flipped her over. Her eyes were wide, her hair a straggling mess around her flushed face. She was panting beneath him, her fear palpable as she continued to try and squirm out of his hold.

  He seized hold of her hair, his hand wrapping into the thick, wet mess. She pushed at his chest, shoving against him as a soft whimper escaped her. He didn’t know what he was thinking, what he was doing, but instead of burying his teeth in her neck and draining her dry as he had imagined doing for the past couple of months, his lips descended upon her mouth, seizing hold of it. Her hands flattened against his chest as she went still as stone beneath him. He pressed tighter against her, wanting some sort of response, needing something from her, anything.

  Needing to break her in some small way, just as she had broken him.

  Then, her hands curled into his shirt, her fingers dug against his skin. A small gasp escaped her as her soft lips parted beneath his. She clung to him, her body melting against his. He invaded her, savoring in the taste and feel of her as he pulled her tighter. He forgot everything, all of her treachery, all of the anger and hurt as he held her. It was hard to remember anything when she was so right, and good in his arms. He had never felt anything as wonderful as she was, and as long as he held her, he didn’t care what happened around them.

  It wasn’t until he tasted the saltiness of her tears upon his lips that he realized she was crying. It wasn’t until he pulled away to wipe her tears from her silken cheeks that he realized he cared for her far more than he had been willing to admit to himself. It wasn’t until she rested her forehead against his chest and began to sob heavily that he realized they were both doomed.

  ***

  Aria watched silently as the prince threw another log on the fire. She folded her hands before her, clasping them tightly between her legs. Her eyes felt heavy, sore from crying. Her chest still hurt from the force of the sobs that had wracked her. Despite the heat, she was cold, freezing really. Numb with the shock, and horror, still clinging to her. He turned away from her, the muscles in his hard back flexing as he grabbed another log and tossed it onto the fire.

  Aria glanced around the small house he had brought her to. She didn’t know why she was here, how he had known about it, but it was a quaint little cottage. He turned back to her, studying her for a long moment before he made his way slowly back to her. “You need to dry off, you’re shivering.” She didn’t tell him that she wasn’t shivering because she was still wet and chilled from the river. They both knew that it wasn’t the reason. “Arianna?”

  She managed a small nod before rising to her feet and moving toward the crackling fire. She settled before it, holding out her numbed hands to the flames. He settled onto the arm of the sofa behind her, drawing his long legs up onto the cushions as he watched her. She pulled her hair before her, trying to dry it out and untangle it as she worked slowly through the thick, wet mess.

  She didn’t know what to say to him, what to do. She didn’t know what he wanted from her. She started to shake again; she was trying not to start crying once more as she recalled the fierce, wonderful intensity of his kiss. For one brief moment she had felt whole, and alive, again. For one wonderful moment all of the pain of the past months had vanished beneath his touch. All of her hurt and the anger had melted beneath the wonder of his mouth against hers. She had tried to forget how amazing he could make her feel, she had remembered in an instant. And she was fairly certain that she would never be able to forget again.

  “When did Jericho tell you about Gwendolyn?”

  Her fingers froze in her hair; she turned slowly toward him, admiring the play of light over his hard features. “Gwendolyn?” she asked quietly, baffled by his question, and the name.

  “The woman I am supposed to marry.”

  “Oh.” Her eyes widened, her fingers slipped from her hair as the numbness returned in full force. She had forgotten about that little detail, that huge, awful betrayal. For a moment she couldn’t breathe through the pain and anger that constricted her chest, through the knife that stabbed deep into her heart, destroying it. Her fingers clenched tightly in her lap, her nails dug into her palms. If she thought she had any chance of succeeding she might just punch him, but she had already managed to hit him once, in the palace, she didn’t think she would get the chance again. “I didn’t know that was her name.”

  His head tilted slightly to the side, he had slipped the dark glasses off, revealing the full beauty of his steel gray eyes, and the bright blue band that encircled his irises. It was so rare when they weren’t in place, so rare when he relaxed his guard enough to take them off. She could see the faint hint of the scars that marred his striking eyes. Scars that served as a reminder that no matter how stunning his eyes were, they were flawed, and unseeing around everyone but her. “When Arianna?”

  She turned sharply away from him, unable to look at him any longer. It hurt too much. “The morning he came to get me.”

  “Why did he tell you?”

  She spun angrily back on him, her eyes narrowing fiercely as she fought the urge to punch him. “What difference does that make?” she spat.

  He stared silently back at her. “I want to know, that’s the difference.”

  “And I want peace, but we don’t always get what we want.”

  His eyes narrowed, he leaned forward as he glared at her. “I had forgotten how annoying you were.”

  She glowered back at him, struggling against the tears that wanted to flow. “Then perhaps you should let me go.”

  His hard mouth curved into a wry smile as he shook his head. “That is not going to happen Arianna. Answer my question.”

  She shook her head, baffled as to why she was here and what he wanted from her. Did he just like to torture her by making her rehash the agony she had lived with ever since she had learned of his fiancée? She stared at the fire, watching as it snapped and crackled, shooting out sparks. She didn’t want to tell him why Jack had told her about his fiancée, she didn’t want him to know just how much she had cared about him back then. He had enough power and control over her, without giving him even more.

  But she no longer cared for him like that; she couldn’t care about him like that anymore she reminded herself. She had been dumb and innocent back then. She would never be either of those things again. Not when it came to him. She turned slowly back to him, meeting his intense gaze. It didn’t matter if he knew why Jack had told her, he had no hold over her anymore.

  “Because I didn’t want to leave,” she finally admitted. His eyes widened slightly, she saw the shock that rocked through him. “I was foolish enough to think that I wanted to stay, with you, no matter what the consequences of that action might be. Jack simply informed me of what an idiot I was.”

  “Arianna…”

  She launched to her feet, unable to sit still anymore, unable to listen to him. There was a clawing sen
sation growing inside of her, a desperate need to be free, a desperate need to escape this whole awful situation. She paced away from the fire, stopping before the window to stare out at the forest. They were far from the caves, in an area she didn’t know as it was close to civilization. It was an area of the woods she did not travel to, it wasn’t safe here. Her fingers pressed against the glass, the sun was out now, her family and friends would be worried about her. They would be looking for her. She needed to get back to them; she needed to get away from him.

  “You wanted to stay within the palace?”

  “It doesn’t matter,” she whispered. She pressed her forehead briefly to the glass as she inhaled the fresh air seeping through the edges of the pane. “It’s the past, it can’t be changed. It’s over.”

  She didn’t hear him move, but that was not a surprise. It was rare to actually hear his approach. His hands were upon her shoulders, he held her briefly for a moment before turning her slowly away from the window. When she refused to look at him he seized gently hold of her chin and lifted it so that she had to meet his hard gaze. “I should have told you about her, but I didn’t know. I didn’t expect…”

  “Expect what?” she inquired when he broke off.

  He shook his head, bending to place a soft kiss upon her mouth. “Why did you want to stay?” he inquired, his hands clasping gently hold of her face.

  She tried to pull away from him, but he held her tighter. He moved closer to her, his chest brushing against hers. His body was slightly colder than hers; the force of his presence was overwhelming. She could hardly breathe through the combination of excitement and trepidation pounding through her. She couldn’t let herself get carried away here; she couldn’t allow herself to hope that this might end differently than it had before. Things could never change between them; they were from completely different worlds. They were from completely different species even.

  “What difference does it make?” she asked quietly.

  He moved even closer, his lips were just centimeters from hers. He was the most irresistible man she had ever met, even as she tried to fight it, she could feel her body reacting to his, swaying even closer. “Because I want to know why you weren’t going to leave, I need to know why you were going to stay Arianna.”

  “It makes no difference, prince.”

  “Braith.”

  “What?”

  “I told you once before to call me Braith, not prince.”

  Arianna sighed softly as she lowered her eyes. Yes, he had told her that before, but ever since she had fled the palace she had started to refer to him as the prince again. It helped her to distance herself from him, something that she desperately needed to do in order to survive the hurt that clung to her. He may want her to stop calling him prince now, but she wasn’t sure she could. Doing so would mean allowing him back into her heart and she couldn’t do that.

  She couldn’t be hurt like that again; she didn’t think she could survive it a second time.

  “Arianna, tell me why you wanted to stay.”

  “No!” her voice was sharper than she had intended. She was ashamed to admit that even she could hear the panic and fear in it. “No! You don’t always get what you want. Why can’t you just let this be? Just leave me be! Why did you come here!? Why did you hunt me down after all this time? How did you even find me? I was just beginning to move on and you had to show up and destroy it all again! Destroy me again.”

  She tried to put on a brave front, tried to straighten her shoulders, and raise her chin, but she could feel her lip trembling. It didn’t help that sadness filled his features; that a look of loss shimmered in his startling eyes. She wanted to scream in frustration. It was all so unfair. She wanted to move on; she wanted to start a new life. She wanted to attempt to regain some semblance of the life she’d had before he had entered it. But he had shown up again and sharply reminded her of the fact that the only life she truly wanted was a life with him.

  It was also the only life she could never have.

  “Arianna…”

  She tore her gaze away from his, trying hard not to cry again. “Please Braith.” She was hoping that the use of his name would earn her some reprieve. It did not.

  He kissed her forehead, her nose gently. Aria shuddered, trying hard not to melt against him, trying hard not to give into everyone of her desires and just throw aside all of her hurt, and anger. She couldn’t though; she could not survive this a second time. But as his lips brushed gently over hers, she felt herself leaning into him. Felt herself seeking the gentle caress of his mouth and hands. She hated herself for her weakness, but there was something about him, something that she could not resist no matter how hard she tried.

  His fingers wound into her hair, he pulled her closer to him as his tongue stroked lightly over her lips. Aria was shaking, trembling, unable to put up any fight against his soft kisses and caressing hands. It was when his hands rubbed gently over the healing wound on her neck, that she finally came back to herself a little. She tried to pull away from him, but his hand enclosed on her shoulder. Ever so gently, he pulled her tattered shirt down a little, revealing the marks upon her. A shiver ran through her as he traced his fingers lightly over it.

  She was suddenly flooded with memories of that night, of him upon her, feeding from her, nourishing his body with hers. She had been so enthralled, so unbelievably lost to him, and the joy that had suffused her as he had drained her body of its blood. As he had used her life force to nurture his own. She had never wanted the moment to end, but that was before she knew everything, before she had seen the raid on the caves, before she learned he was promised to another. Another that he probably loved.

  Aria pulled her collar away from him, covering the wound back up. There would be no repeat of that night now. She could not allow herself to be lost like that again, no matter how badly she wanted to be. “I loved you,” she whispered.

  “Excuse me?” he asked in surprise.

  “I wanted to stay in the palace because I loved you. I told Jack to leave me there, because I didn’t care what happened, what would become of me, I wanted to stay with you. I loved you so much that I had no thought of my own safety, my own life, when it came to you.”

  “Arianna…”

  “And then Jack told me the truth.” She continued as if he had never spoken, because if she didn’t get this all out now, she never would. If she didn’t get it all out, then she would lose herself to him again. It would destroy her this time. “And then my love didn’t matter anymore, nothing mattered. I didn’t even matter. I was so hurt, so angry, so lost and confused and scared. I know you never promised me anything, I know there never could have been anything between us, not in the end, but I never would have allowed it to get that far if I had known the truth. If I had known that you loved someone else, that you were going to marry her, I never would have allowed that night to happpen. Never. You almost destroyed me with your lies and deceit. I will never allow that to happen again!”

  He stood immobile for a moment, and then he seized hold of her chin, squeezing it gently. She glared at him, feeling sullen and disagreeable as she folded her arms over her chest. It was childish, she knew that, but she couldn’t bring herself to be completely mature at this point. The past two months had been nothing but confusing, frightening, and so unbelievably hard that she felt she deserved some childish behavior right now.

  And then he had reappeared and thrown a giant wrench into all of the hard work it had taken to try and piece herself together again.

  “I didn’t know Arianna.”

  “I don’t care!” she retorted.

  He rubbed his thumb lightly over her bottom lip. “I knew you loved me that night, you told me so, but what I didn’t fully understand was how I had come to feel about you.”

  She stared at him for a long moment, trying to fight the hope and longing raging through her. No matter what he said, this could never be. He would have to leave, and she would have to go back to the wood
s and the caves. “Don’t,” she whispered.

  “If I had known what was going to happen Arianna, I would have told you about her myself. I would have left you alone; I would have done anything other than what I did that night. I never meant to hurt you, I swear that. What I feel for you, it’s not something I ever expected. I never thought that it could happen to me. If I had been stronger I would have resisted the offer of your gift until you knew the truth, but that night was a complete surprise to me also.”

  She stared wordlessly up at him, her mouth parted in shock. “Braith…”

  “I don’t love my fiancée Arianna. In fact, I dislike her intensely. It’s an arranged marriage, her family is very powerful. It is not something that either of us want.”

  Aria was silent for a long moment as she absorbed his words. “That doesn’t change anything Braith,” she whispered. “You will still go back, and you will marry her, and I will… Well I suppose I will either end up being recaptured, killed, or perhaps even one day I will end up married to Max, or some other rebel though it is unlikely I will live long enough.”

  His eyebrows shot up, his eyes narrowed fiercely as he moved closer to her, pushing her against the window. Aria stared at him in surprise, stunned by the anger blistering from him. “To Max?” he snarled.

  Aria frowned at him, trying not be intimidated by him, but she was completely baffled by his sudden change. “Yes, I guess, maybe… Oh, I don’t know,” she breathed. “I don’t want to bring children into this awful world but he’s a good man, he’s safe, and he cares for me. Perhaps he even loves me. That should be enough, shouldn’t it?”

  He was staring at her as if she had just sprouted another head. “You will not be with Max.”

  She blinked at the growled command, then her pride rose swiftly back up. “You’re not my father, you can’t tell me what I can, and cannot do!” she snapped.

  He was fairly vibrating with anger. His hands were on either side of her, pressed against the window as he leaned ever closer. “You’re right I’m not your father, but I am a part of you, and as that part I am telling you that you will not be with Max.”