Renegade

by Erica Stevens

  She frowned at him, confused and baffled by his response. “Part of me? I don’t understand.”

  “My blood flows in your veins Arianna; it’s how I found you. It is how I will always be able to find you.”

  Her mouth dropped, her mind spun. She recalled their last night together, when he had taken her blood. After, she had fallen asleep and drifting in and out of confusing consciousness. She had dreamt that he had held her tight, cradling her gently as he gave her something sweet and delicious to drink. Horror curdled through her at the same time that longing blossomed like a spring flower. It had all been a dream though, hadn’t it?

  “I don’t…” she shook her head, trying to clear her thoughts, trying to clear the fog that was clinging to her. “No, it was a dream. Wasn’t it?”

  The anger melted from his body, his hands were upon her shoulders again, stroking gently over the marks on her body. “No, Arianna, it was not a dream. It was my fault, I took too much. I was so hungry…”

  “You hadn’t been feeding well, because of me. To protect me!” she recalled on a gasp.

  “Yes. I didn’t want them to know I wasn’t feeding from you. But I took too much Arianna, you were just so delicious. I took far more than I had intended, and the only way to keep you alive was to give you some of my blood. I linked us forever by doing so.”

  Tears burned her eyes; she looked away from him, staring at the wall over his shoulder. He had also told her he loved her that night, it had all been very foggy, very hazy, but now that she knew that it wasn’t a dream, she knew that he had said that as well. He had told her he loved her, and she had left him the next day.

  “That’s why Jack asked me if I had shared your blood,” she whispered.

  His hands clasped hold of her face; he turned her back to him. There was a ferocity in his eyes that shocked her. “Jericho asked you that?” he demanded.

  Aria swallowed heavily as she nodded. “Yes, when he came for me, when he saw my blood still on me, he asked me if I had shared your blood. But I thought that it had been a dream, I was certain of it once he told me that you were engaged.” Braith was silent for a long moment, his jaw was clenched. “He would have left me there if I had answered differently, wouldn’t he have?”

  He shook his head, his dark hair falling around his face. “I don’t know what he would have done Arianna. If anything, these recent events have made me realize that I don’t know my little brother at all.”

  Aria clasped hold of his hands, holding them lightly against her face. She closed her eyes, savoring in his gentle touch, savoring in the strength of him. Yes, he did have a fiancée. Yes, she could not expect much, if anything, from him. However, he had loved her, he had told her so. He had not merely been using her, playing with her in order to cause her even more hurt, and anguish, when he turned on her.

  “You said you loved me,” she whispered.

  He pulled her closer, enfolding her in his arms as he held her tight against him. “Yes.”

  She wanted to cry again, for everything that they had almost had, for everything that they had lost. For everything that they would lose, and could never have. But it was impossible to feel sad when she was holding him. It was impossible to hurt when he was kissing her forehead gently, nuzzling against her ears, touching her with such reverence and awe. She let herself drift into him, let herself get lost in him. These past months had been so awful, but his touch eased all of the rawness and pain that had been clinging to her. His touch made everything better; it was the salve to the ragged wound that she had so desperately been seeking. And for just this moment, in this time, she needed to feel better.

  She needed to feel him.

  CHAPTER 5

  Aria woke slowly, her eyes were heavy and sleep clung to her. It was the first time she had slept without being plagued by nightmares and loss in so long. The first time she did not wake up in pain, the first time she could awaken and actually breathe easily again. Her gaze fell instantly upon Braith; he was standing by the window, staring out at the darkening night. Aria lay for a moment longer, enjoying this wonderful moment of peace, but realization crashed swiftly back over her.

  She bolted upright, horror rolling through her as she stared at the night sky. The day was gone. Braith turned toward her, his eyes troubled as he studied her. “My father is going to be so worried, my family; my friends.” Though the words were going to kill her to say, she said them anyway. “I have to go Braith.”

  He turned back to the night, before looking at her again. “It is late Arianna.”

  “I know, but…”

  “Tonight, just tonight.”

  Aria stared silently at him, her mouth parted slightly as her heart hammered in excitement. She so badly wanted to stay with him for this night, and for every night after this, but she couldn’t have those nights. She could have this one. Guilt tugged briefly at her as she thought of her family and friends, but it was only one night. It was the only night she would have for the rest of her life.

  “Ok,” she said softly.

  His mouth curved in a soft smile, his head tilted slightly to the side. “I expected more of an argument.”

  She grinned back at him, her fingers playing with the soft cushion of the couch. “I’m not always difficult.”

  “Could have fooled me. Come.” He held his hand out to her as he came over to her. She slipped her hand into his, smiling softly at him.

  He led her down a darkened hall, flicking on light switches as he moved. The mouth watering scent of food hit her before they even reached the kitchen. Her mouth parted, her eyes widened in surprise as she stepped into the room. Food was set up on the counters, cheeses, breads, fruits, and meats were stacked neatly upon two plates. She glanced around, wondering who had done this, but she saw no one else within the small house. Her gaze fell upon Braith, who was watching her in amusement.

  “You did this.”

  “I’m not completely helpless,” he replied lightly. She couldn’t help but grin back at him. It was one of the sweetest things anyone had ever done for her. She didn’t stop to think about what that said of her life, it wasn’t worth it. She was ok with getting by on very little. “Come on, you’re hungry.”

  She didn’t ask him how he knew that, her stomach was rumbling loudly, and repeatedly. She settled into a stool at the counter while he heaped food onto her plate. She cocked an eyebrow at him, amused by the amount of food he was piling on for her. “I’m not starving,” she told him.

  “You’ve lost weight again,” he replied, sliding the plate before her.

  Aria shrugged; there was no help for it in the forest. They didn’t have enough to eat, and they worked endlessly. “Thank you,” she said softly. He slid into the seat across from her, folding his arms before him. Aria studied him for a moment, feeling slightly self conscious as he watched her eat. “What is this place?” she asked softly.

  “It belonged to my mother’s family, it was their summer getaway.”

  “Really?” Aria glanced over the large, airy kitchen. “It’s very nice. Will they come looking for you here?”

  “Jericho and I were the only ones that ever came here, except for some cleaners once every couple of weeks.”

  “Why did the two of you come here?”

  Braith shrugged as he sat back. “To hunt, to get away. To be alone for awhile.”

  “To get away from what?”

  He watched her for a moment longer before leaning back in his seat. “From many things,” he replied evasively. “Eat Arianna.”

  She picked up a piece of apple and began to chew on it, barely tasting its sweetness in her mouth as she thought over his words. “Will they come looking for you here?”

  “No. I doubt my father even remembers where this place is, and Caleb is busy. They won’t even notice I’m gone.”

  “What about Jack? Will he come here looking for me?”

  Braith tilted his head slightly; confusion filtered through his eyes, then realization dawned. �
�I forget you call Jericho that.”

  Aria smiled at him, leaning slightly toward him. “It’s what we know him as. He certainly isn’t a prince to us.”

  He grinned back at her, poking her nose lightly as he settled back in his seat. “I suppose he isn’t. But no, Jericho will not come here. I doubt he will even think about it.”

  Aria nodded, relieved to know that they would not be disturbed tonight. She settled in, a large weight lifting off of her as she eagerly dug into the delicious food. They talked softly, exchanging stories. She told him what it was like to grow up within the forest. She told him about her father, whom she loved dearly, and her brothers Daniel and William. She told him of things she had been too frightened to tell him about before, when he had not known that her father was the leader of the rebels. She didn’t know much about her mother, she had been killed when she and William were children. Her father didn’t talk about her very often, it was too painful for him, but when he did talk of her Aria listened intently, eager to learn anything she could about the woman that she had never known.

  Though Braith listened intently to her, he did not say much about his life. His mother had also died when he was young, but young to him had been a hundred and seventy five years. He didn’t speak of his father much, and when he did, Aria got the feeling that he didn’t like him, and that they didn’t get along. He barely mentioned Caleb, or his sisters, he spoke a little more of Jericho, and though she caught the underlying tension in his voice, she also caught the only hint of fondness she’d heard toward any of his family when it came to his youngest brother.

  She enjoyed listening to him talk, and thought she could do so forever. Even though she knew that was impossible, she decided to pretend that just for tonight, they could have forever. It was wonderful to be his equal for a change, and not his slave. The moon rose high in the sky, and was beginning its downward descent when he stood. “You must be tired.”

  She was tired, but she didn’t want to go to sleep. She didn’t want this night to end. She could sleep tomorrow when he was gone, and she was alone again. “I’m ok.”

  He slipped his hand into hers, pulling her against him. His hand wrapped around the back of her head as he cradled her gently against him. She held him for a long moment, simply relishing in the feel of his hard body against hers, simply relishing the feel of being in his arms again. She gasped, shock racing through her when he bent and scooped her easily into his arms. She stared down at him in wide eyed wonder as her fingers lightly stroked the nape of his neck. His eyes were intense and burning as he watched her for a long moment before striding easily from the room.

  He navigated the dark hallways with ease; until he reached a door that he thrust open. He didn’t bother with the light switch as he strode over and placed her lightly upon the bed. Aria watched him as he moved around, drawing the curtains shut and blocking out the light of the fading moon. Her heart hammered with excitement, her mouth was dry as uncertainty claimed her. She didn’t know what was going to happen, what he expected, or what she was even willing to give to him. She wanted to pretend that they had forever, but they didn’t. Yet, it was Braith. Even if she never saw him again, she knew she would never love anyone the way that she loved him. This was more than likely their last night together, if she was never going to see him again, didn’t she want to give him everything she could?

  He was as silent as a ghost as he came back to her, slipping onto the bed beside her. He pulled her against him, kissing her softly. All doubts and fears vanished; she didn’t want to think, not now. And he made it so very easy to forget everything, except for him. His hands stroked over her face, her hair, as he pushed her gently upon the bed. His eyes were bright in the dim light of the room. He stared at her for a long moment, his hands lightly holding each side of her face.

  “You are beautiful.”

  Though it may not be entirely true, she felt beautiful when she was with him. She felt as if she were the only woman in the world, and in some ways, to him, she was. She was the first woman he had seen in years. She lowered her lashes as tears burned her eyes, she didn’t want to think about anything else, but she couldn’t help it. This was it. This was all she would have of him.

  “Arianna?”

  She lifted her eyes to him, forcing a smile. “It’s ok Braith, I’m ok.”

  He kissed her nose softly, pulling her against his side as he rolled off of her, cradling her tightly. “There are some other things I need to tell you Arianna. I don’t want you to be hurt again; I don’t want you to be surprised by anything you hear about me.”

  She frowned, lifting her head to look at him. He looked troubled, his eyes were distant, haunted. “What is it?” she asked softly.

  His fingers stroked through her hair, running it lightly through his grasp. “Before you, I never had a blood slave.”

  “I know.”

  “After you…” his voice trailed off for a moment, his fingers tightened briefly in her hair. “There were many.”

  Aria stared at him in surprise, and then hurt curled through her. She had thought that she was special. No, she was special to him. She couldn’t start thinking like that, couldn’t let herself start to doubt that. It would ruin this small bit of bliss they had managed to find together. She was special to him, he did care about her. She just had to keep believing that it was true. He wouldn’t be here if it wasn’t. “Why?” she choked out.

  His gaze was hard upon hers; there was a defensive air about him. “I wanted to forget.”

  “Forget what?”

  “You.”

  Her eyes widened, she bit hard on her bottom lip. She knew how that felt, the driving need not to think about anything, not to feel anything anymore. “Did it work?”

  “That’s why I’m here.” She managed to smile wanly at him, but she couldn’t shake the lingering hurt that clung to her. “I never gave them my blood Arianna; I’ve never done that with anyone else.”

  She managed a small nod, trying not to show how upset she was. She knew that she was failing. “It’s ok.”

  “Arianna, I thought… I don’t know what I thought. That’s the problem, I didn’t want to think.”

  “I know Braith, I know how you felt, how it hurt to think, to breathe even. I know because I didn’t want to think or feel anymore either. It’s ok, I don’t like it, but it’s ok. It’s… It’s what you had to do.”

  She could barely speak by the time she was done, hurt clogged her throat, but she couldn’t find any anger. She couldn’t be angry now. She hadn’t been there for him, she had thought that he had lied to her, and he had thought that she’d betrayed him. She couldn’t be angry now when he was looking at her with such a hopeful, needy expression. He may not have given them his blood, but she was sure that he had done other things with them. Things that they had not done together. Aria quickly shut the thought down. It had no place here, this was their one night, he wanted to be honest, and she could not fault him for that. But she was not going to ruin this night, she couldn’t.

  “And what did you do to stop from thinking?” he asked softly though she heard the tight tension in his voice.

  He had buried himself in women, and blood. She had buried herself in the woods, in the wild, in the solitude. “Went fishing.”

  He lifted an eyebrow in surprise, his head tilted slightly to the side. “You went fishing?”

  “Yes, I’d go to the lake almost every day and go fishing. It was quiet, peaceful; I could lose myself in the nature and serenity of it. Even when Max…”

  “Max?” the name was almost growled at her.

  She frowned at him. She had taken his shocking news relatively well; he owed her the same respect. “Yes, Max. He is my friend. He was also a blood slave, though his experience was far worse than mine. He needed the solitude, the peace, the company of someone who understood at least a little of what he had gone through. He would join me most days, and we would just sit silently together.”

  “I think Max wants
to be more than a friend,” his voice was low, gravelly. She heard the displeasure in his tone.

  “Braith…” She didn’t know what to say, what to do. But he was being honest and she should too. “Yes, he does. And at one time I had a big crush on Max. He was older, my brother’s best friend, and my first kiss.” Braith’s hand tightened on the back of her head, he fairly vibrated with anger. “But even before we were blood slaves, even before I met you, I had decided that it could never be between us.”

  He was struggling to keep control, struggling to keep himself calm. “Why not?” he asked quietly.

  Aria shrugged. “My life isn’t one that I would wish on anyone else, especially not a child. It’s too hard, too brutal.”

  He was silent for a long moment, and then he pulled her slowly down to him. His lips were warm against hers, soft, and soothing. His hand cradled the back of her head gently. She lost herself to him again, forgetting everything and everyone. The effect he had over her was amazing, and absolute.

  He pulled slowly away from her, softly kissing her lips, and then her nose. “It will all be ok,” he whispered. “Everything will work out.”

  She managed a wry smile as she nodded. They both knew that it would not be ok, but here, tonight, in his arms, she could believe anything. She fell into his kiss, losing herself to the touch and feel of him. He was wonderful, amazing, everything she had always wanted, and could never have. He rolled her slowly over, his kiss moving leisurely over her neck. He pulled her shirt down, revealing her shoulders. He stilled upon the bite mark, his lips hovering over it as she felt the hard press of his fangs against her flesh.

  “It’s ok,” she breathed, her fingers curling into his thick hair. “It’s ok Braith.”

  He didn’t hesitate, but bit gently down, reopening the wound and causing her blood to spurt once more. Aria arched against him, the pain was sharp, and fleeting. Then she felt the familiar pull, the familiar tug of her blood into his body. But unlike the first time, he was not half starved now; he was far gentler, and far more caring as he moved over her. She clung to his hard arms, tears streaming down her face as she savored in the wondrous joy of the moment. She never wanted it to end, never wanted to part from him.