Moondust And Madness

by Taylor, Janelle

  Varian was stunned by her reply. He had been so engrossed and enslaved by her uninhibited behavior that he had not realized she was so close to ecstasy. He grinned sheepishly, perplexed by his total loss of control. He inhaled erratically “I skipped that particular lesson, but I see now you didn’t require it. I hadn’t realized you were ready for such…intimacy, such total sharing of passions.”

  “Only with you,” she responded candidly. “Did I—Was it—Oh, hell, do I need more practice or instructions on this lesson?” she stammered.

  Laughter filled her ears. “Are you jesting, moonbeam! No one has ever learned that lesson better,” he answered honestly. He looked as if he were about to add something else, but mastered the impulse. Instead, he pulled Jana into his arms and sighed peacefully. “Sleep well.”

  Jana nestled against him and murmured, “Now I can.”

  Chapter Fourteen

  Jana was awakened early the next morning by a tickling sensation. When masculine laughter filled the air, she suspiciously opened one eye and peered at the man reclining near her. He held one of her long curls in his grip. She flashed him an admonishing glare.

  “Do you plan to lie in bed all day while I work so hard?” he asked as he nonchalantly flicked the curl over one taut nipple and then the other.

  “I plan to spend this day collecting on my wager. Doesn’t my wager include daylight hours as well as nighttime ones?”

  “You greedy vixen. I have work to do,” he replied.

  “You most assuredly do, you have a captive student who needs more lessons.”

  His body flamed. “What if my time is limited?”

  Jana laughed in his face. Her hand slid down his abdomen and gently captured him. His stomach muscles tightened and he inhaled sharply at her fiery touch. His manly shaft instantly responded to her feather caresses. “Then I shall change the order of today’s priorities.” She leaned forward and nibbled at his lips. “You have created a fierce hunger in me. It demands regular feedings. Everything else must wait.”

  “Yes,” he agreed, closing his quivering fingers around hers as they drifted up and down his pulsing manhood.

  Jana rolled off the bed. “Right after my bath.”

  “Come back here, woman,” he ordered.

  “Restrain yourself. We had a late night. I’m not fully awake, yet.” She raced into the bathroom, sat down in the oval tub, and allowed the warm water to surround her. She added a floral fragrance, then leaned back and relaxed.

  Varian entered the room, devilment sparkling in his sapphire eyes. “Your lessons are far from over, witch.” He joined her.

  She shrieked in surprise. “What do you think you’re doing!”

  “Didn’t you know, masters often bathe with their captives?”

  “Does this mean you’ve never tried it?”

  He grinned. “Me? I’m far too modest.”

  She eyed him with open doubt. “Since you’re here, you can scrub my back. I’ve yet to experience that pampered, lavish existence you allotted for us charls.”

  Varian smiled and relaxed. “Is it proper for a master to wait upon his slave?”

  Jana knelt between his legs and soaped his hairy chest and powerful shoulders as if it were an everyday ritual between them. “If I help you bathe, then you’ll help me? Isn’t half the fun of educating a student sharing in her lessons?”

  Varian nodded. He leaned back and accepted her loving caresses. She massaged his muscles with creamy suds. Before she could protest his actions, she found herself seated across his lap with his manhood touching her in a most intimate and enticing way. As she washed his shoulders, he eased within her. A sensual smile teased his lips as he witnessed the effect of his erotic movements on her.

  Varian’s deft hands lathered her breasts and leisurely tantalized them. As their eyes met and shared the fires of desire, she whispered seductively, “I see what you meant about the pleasures of sharing a bath. Lesson number eight?”

  Varian laughed and pulled her face to his to kiss her. Soon, their play became feverish. He lifted her out of the tub and laid her on the cool tiles, then urgently possessed her. Afterward, he leaned back and stared contentedly down into her face. He cupped her chin and kissed her mouth very slowly. He looked as if he were about to say something, but couldn’t. He shrugged oddly, then eased back into the tub. “Coming?” he invited.

  Jana shamelessly reclined on her side watching him. Her eyes held a look of tenderness and promise which distracted and thrilled him, one which sent quivers of alarm racing through his body. To end it at this untimely moment, he jested, “Get that took out of your eye. I have work waiting for me.”

  Jana laughed softly and sank down into the water as he stepped out of the tub. “I suppose I can be put off until tonight…if that’s all the stamina you can muster in the morning. I had believed you had more in you.”

  Varian pretended to dress quickly in self-defense. While Jana soaked in the fragrant water, she mused on her lover. He was such a multifaceted, complex, wonderful creature. Sometimes he seemed so content and happy around her. Why couldn’t he love her?

  When Jana finished her bath, Varian wasn’t in his quarters, nor was her breakfast. After a while, she went to see if Tristan knew of his location, or the schedule for Rigel. She had been told last night that the ship would be orbiting the capital by one o’clock today. So little time left to spend with Varian.

  Jana approached the entry to the officers’ rec room, then halted as she heard her name mentioned twice by two female flight officers who were discussing her.

  “Why haven’t you done anything, Nuala? She’s keeping Varian from you.”

  “Varian gave strict orders that no one is to trouble his temporary mistress. He’d better be glad he’s keeping the alien bitch confined to his quarters. Else I might go wild and slit her golden throat! She’ll be gone soon, but I’ll still be here. He’s even smelling like her! Did you get a whiff of him in the mess hall? I would think Shara taught him to never trust alien beauties after what she did to Amaya and Galen. I bet he scrubs and scrubs every time he finishes with her. Oh well…poor thing, he really has her fooled. But that’s the only way she will do anything and everything he wants.” A burst of malicious laughter followed.

  “All of the men say Jana is an alien enchantress. I wouldn’t be surprised if that’s why he’s deluding her. I’ve heard that nothing tastes sweeter than vengeance. If he can’t get to the alien bitch who fucked up his life six or seven years ago, what better sensation than using someone who favors her? They have the same color hair and nearly the same color eyes. Varian will never forget what Shara did to Amaya and Galen. Poor Galen, everyone knows Shara went to Kadim Tirol’s home to slay Amaya and Varian. That should have taught our lusty commander to be careful when choosing a mistress, especially taking one by force. I wonder what he has in store for Jana at her auction. She must be awfully good in bed.”

  Jana couldn’t listen anymore. She fled back toward Varian’s quarters. What a fool she was! She rushed into Varian’s quarters where she paced angrily. She had gotten herself into this tormenting mess. But what choice did she have except to endure it.

  Lieutenant Nuala Matoo scoffed to her friend Ensign Tarina Sloyan, “I can’t believe Varian would drop into the same trap his father did—falling for an alien enchantress…”

  Varian entered the rec room and looked at the two women sitting at the table. He watched Nuala rise and approach him. She sniffed several times, then covered her mouth to suppress her giggles. He stared at her as if she had lost her mind, then glanced inquisitively at the other woman.

  “I don’t want to sound brash, sir, but you smell like flowers,” Nuala hinted.

  Tarina lowered her head and tried to restrain her giggles as Nuala added, “I think you should take another bath, alone.”

  Just then Varian scowled. “I’ll make certain I leave out the fragrance next time. As for you, Lieutenant Matoo, and you, Ensign Sloyan, I believe you two should be
on duty right now.”

  Nuala instantly grew serious. “I’m sorry, sir. I only intended to warn you of a matter which could cause you many annoying jests today.”

  Tarina also apologized. But Varian would not be appeased.

  “I want both of you to go to Alliance Headquarters and pick up your transfer papers. They will be ready. There’s plenty of time for you two to clear out of your quarters before you leave today. That way, you won’t have to return to my ship. Perhaps your new commander won’t mind your nasty tongues as I do.” When Nuala started to protest, Varian said, “Count yourself lucky I don’t demote you or have you dismissed from service. If you ever mention me or Jana Greyson in such a degrading manner again, I’ll make certain you’re out of the Alliance Force for good.”

  Nuala went white, then flushed a deep red. “You heard us?”

  “Be gone as soon as we’re in parking orbit,” he told them. He had told Kyle to run monitor checks on each location every hour or so. Varian had been hoping to pick up a clue about his ship’s spy, not this irritating conversation.

  Varian stormed into his office and dropped into his chair. If it wasn’t one thing these days, it was another! He looked up to find Jana poised in the doorway to his bedroom, her expression one of anger and mistrust. He arched one brow quizzically. “You mad at me for some reason, moonbeam?”

  Jana eyed him up and down, then inquired sarcastically, “You’re back awfully soon. I thought you had lots of work to do.”

  “I do. First, I need another bath,” he stated brusquely, his anger lingering.

  Before he explained his problem, Jana remarked sarcastically, “Contrary to popular belief, I don’t have any contagious alien germs, so you don’t have to scrub and scrub several times a day.”

  Varian stared at her as the reason for her mood struck him. She, too, had overheard the malicious conversation. “Don’t I get a chance to exonerate myself, or am I judged guilty of crimes I didn’t commit?” And he quickly explained how he had dealt with the insubordinate officers.

  Jana was eyeing him skeptically. He continued sullenly, “I need another bath because I’m being teased for smelling like a woman. Next time, add the perfume bubbles after I get out.”

  “Next time, don’t interrupt a lady’s bath, unless invited.”

  “Listen to me, Jana,” he entreated earnestly. “I’m not anxious to get rid of you. From the beginning, I’ve tried to be honest with you, about your fate and about our relationship. As to the words of my crew members, I warned you of possible resentments by those who were left behind and didn’t have the chance to get to know you. I was hoping there wouldn’t be any scenes like you evidently witnessed, but that was why I asked you to remain in my quarters for the rest of our voyage. I swear, most of my crew adores you. Don’t let this episode spoil our last few days.”

  “Who is Shara?” she asked.

  Varian didn’t try to conceal his anger. Visibly he was deliberating what to tell her, if anything. It couldn’t be the truth about Shara and Ryker, or she might guess why he was selling her. “Confessions about my private feelings or my past were not part of our two-week deal, Jana. But I will tell this much; you are not a substitute for any woman for any reason.”

  “Is she beautiful?” she challenged.

  Varian grimaced. His body tensed; his eyes narrowed and frosted; he gritted his teeth. “She was my enemy, but she has been dead for seven years. To answer your next two questions: no, I was never in love with her; and no, you aren’t a substitute for appeasing old wounds which she inflicted. I’ll also answer a question you might be afraid to ask: if she were standing here instead of you, I would choke her to death with my bare hands.” When Jana went pale at his honest show of fierce hatred, he asserted, “Rest assured, Jana Greyson; I do not see Shara when I look at you. If I did, you wouldn’t be. in my quarters and surely not in my bed. From now on, this topic is as dead as she is; do you understand?”

  Jana recalled when and where she had heard Shara’s name, from the lips of Pyropean Supreme Ruler Jurad. She remembered Varian calling it “our private war”; but Jurad had said, “Once I was denied the woman of my heart and humiliated…as retribution for Saarian crimes against me. Nor would she serve as a replacement for my lost love…caught in this battle between us as Shara was.” Then Varian had shouted, “One day you’ll thank Kahala Shara never shared your bed and life.”

  Did Varian choose Jurad’s intended wife as a mistress years ago. Or did she bewitch and seduce Varian? Did Shara then pick Varian Saar over Ruler Jurad Tabriz, creating a bitter “conflict” between the two powerful men? Did Varian make it worse by refusing her hand? How did she die? Who was Amaya? What did Shara do to her and this Galen? How could Varian hate so deeply and intensely? Worse, did she resemble Shara?

  “Do you understand me, Jana?” he persisted at her silence.

  “Would you answer one last question?” she entreated.

  Varian frowned and replied, “Ask, and then I’ll see.”

  “Is my wager the only reason I’m confined to your quarters for two weeks?”

  Varian knew she wasn’t referring to amorous feelings as the motive. “No, Jana, it isn’t.” He saw her pang of anguish. “You’re here because I’m a selfish man who used it to appease my guilt over taking you into my bed. I warned you from the beginning that you were dangerously tempting, Jana Greyson. If I wanted or needed a mate, I can think of no woman better suited to me than you,” he vowed.

  With only one and a half days left before her auction, this was the time to relate some tormenting things to Jana: some true, some false, and some a blend of both. “I’ve never been a man who was satisfied with being confined to just one woman. At this crucial point in my life, what woman could tempt me to give up my career to settle down to a boring life at home? I’ll admit I’m selfish and spoiled; maybe I’m even cruel at times. But I’m not stupid. I would love to keep you with me longer, but I can’t. Besides duty and regulations, it wouldn’t be good for you or me. I hope I’m not being too blunt and insensitive, but I think you need to hear such things. Right?”

  Jana’s heart was crushed by his words, words which she believed. She couldn’t force him to love her. And he was trying to let her down gently. She couldn’t alter the situation, so why fight a long battle? She had fallen in love with him as he was; so why try to change him?

  “I care about you, Jana. I want you happy and safe. That’s why I ordered our little charade. Forgive me for hurting you and embarrassing you?”

  At last, she spoke. “There’s nothing to forgive, Varian. Knowing what I do, I would make the same choices. You’re a very exceptional man. I’ll miss you, and you’ll hold a very special place in my heart. I wish we did have more time together, but we made a bargain, and you’ve kept your end of it. Whatever happens, I’ll never forget you and these two weeks.”

  When Varian started toward her, Jana’s words stopped him. “Don’t, Varian, not right now. I need a little time alone.” She entered his bedroom and pressed the switch to close the door.

  Varian wanted to go after her, but it was wrong to increase her anguish. He prayed he could settle this mission and his turbulent past before she learned to live without him, before she learned to hate him.

  He sat down at his desk. She wasn’t the only one hurting. He couldn’t decide if he was tormented by the absence of one particular confession or not: she hadn’t admitted love for him. She hadn’t attempted to persuade him to keep her. She hadn’t raged at him for hurting her, for shaming her, for using her. She hadn’t cried or pleaded. She hadn’t called him names.

  When Varian couldn’t concentrate on his papers, he went to check on Jana. He found her sitting cross-legged on his bed, calmly looking at a book! She was wearing a yellow caftan which was hiked above her knees and wadded between her thighs. She glanced up at him, then returned her impervious gaze to the book. “Have you eaten anything today?” he inquired solicitously.

  “Now that you mention
it, no; and I’m starved,” she responded.

  Varian stepped to the communication panel and ordered two lunches. Jana freshened up while she waited for the meal. After they ate, Varian asked if she would sit in his office and look at the book. He explained, “I have a lot on my mind. Your sunny smile lightens the gloom of my work. Please,” he coaxed.

  “All right,” she replied. She sat sideways on the divan and curled her legs backward. She presented a most distracting picture as she snuggled against a plump pillow, engrossed in a pictorial history book. Time passed slowly.

  Varian was affected by the intimate setting. He leaned back in his chair and watched her. She had so much to give a man, and he wanted it all. It was strange to feel so content just being in her presence. They had fun together. She was intellectually stimulating and their passions were equally matched. Stars above, he loved her and needed her!

  Varian crossed the room and looked down at her. She met his gaze, but did nothing more to encourage him. He ran one finger over her slightly parted lips, across her chin, down her throat, and began to make tiny traces on her chest. His eyes observed his actions.

  “Decorating me with flowers or staking a claim, Rogue Saar?”

  He halted his stimulating action. He smiled and murmured against her lips, “I already have a claim on you for a while longer, moonbeam.”

  In a blaze of unrestrained passion, he captured and savored her mouth. They quickly undressed and he took her almost frantically. At the instant before their mutual release, he inquired raggedly, “Do you want me as much as I want you, Jana?”

  A stinging barb refused to form in her mouth which would shatter this rapturous moment. In a passion-muffled voice, she replied, “More so…”

  Varian carried them over the crest of sheer bliss. He didn’t realize Jana had comprehended the bittersweet messages which he had been absently drawing on her chest. Varian had been writing his name, time and time again! Jana had been studying his language for eight weeks, and had a good grasp of it. The invisible tracings intrigued and pained her deeply. Not his name, but the swirling letters which said, “I love you, moonbeam.”