by Melody Adams
“She left. She saw you looking at us and took off. I am worried. How am I going to find her in this chaos?”
“So I have seen it right? It is her!”
“Yes. She did not want you to …”
“I will find her!” I said determined. “Which direction?”
The blonde pointed to the exit that led to the parking garage. I made my way through the crowd. I had to find her. I would not let her go again. Never again!
Fay
I fled through the dark corridor. Viper had certainly recognized me. In a panic I tried to remember where I had parked my car. I was so scared that I did not even think about the fact that I had left V all alone. I only had one thought! I had to flee before Viper found me.
I heard footsteps and opened the iron doors ahead of me, hoping that parking level 2 was the right one. I saw an old blue VW bus and knew I was on the right floor. I had noticed the bus earlier because it reminded me of a movie from the 70’s that I had seen. I felt relieved that I was right. The car must be to the left somewhere.
I heard the heavy metal door open and turned around in shock. My heart started to beat frantically.
“You?” I screamed. I looked around quickly. There was nobody here to help me. I gathered all my courage and screamed for help, then started running in the direction I suspected my car to be. Fear let me run faster than I had ever imagined.
Heavy steps behind me told me that he was following me. I screamed again as I was grabbed from behind and pulled to the ground. Instinctively I rolled over so that my belly would get the least of the impact. I curled up, my arms protecting my tummy.
“I knew you would come here you little slut”, he said under his breath leaning over me. “And as I can see, you are pregnant again. It’s his kid, hm?”
“Please let me be”, I whimpered. “Please!”
“You damn whore”, he yelled. “You stole my money and just took off. You bitch! I knew you would not miss the title fight of your fucker. I almost didn’t recognize you in this outfit. But then I saw your reaction when the fucker looked over to you. You went pale and took off. Why are you running away from him, hm? Not the big love after all, hm?”
“Please!” I tried again. “Let me go!”
“Oh no … you won’t get away this easy!” he yelled. “You are coming with me!”
He pulled me onto my feet and I fought back and screamed from the top of my lungs. He reached out and hit me hard in the face. I heard more yelling and fast steps … then Martin was pulled from my side.
“Viper” I whispered and put my hand to my burning cheek. Tears were running down my face as I saw Viper and Martin fight. Martin had no chance, of course. He seemed to understand that and got up after being knocked down by a hit. He fled in a hurry looking back at Viper as a car came around the corner. Viper, who was just about to run after Martin, froze. I screamed but Martin did not seem to understand what was happening. The car hit him before the driver had a chance to hit the brakes. Martin was thrown against a cement pillar and fell to the ground. Blood appeared from under him. Shocked, I looked down at the distorted body of the man that had made my life a living hell for years. Viper ran over to him and knelt down next to the lifeless body. The driver had gotten out and ran over as well.
“Oh my God! Oh my God!” he yelled. “I did not see him! I could not … Oh my God.”
“Call an ambulance”, said Viper. “Even if it is too late. His neck and his back are broken. He is dead.”
The driver pulled his cell phone out of his coat pocket and called an ambulance. Viper got up, looked and walked towards me slowly.
“Fay”, he said roughly. “Are you hurt? Are you …”
He stopped and looked at my belly, which was clearly visible, as I was holding it with both hands. His puzzled look searched mine and tears came to my eyes.
“What …?” he started. “Is it …?” He swallowed visibly. “… mine?”
I nodded like I was in a trance.
Viper looked stunned. People came from everywhere. Excited voices came over but all I could see was the pain in Viper’s eyes. A tear ran down his cheek, but he did not wipe it away. His gaze held mine.
“Why?” he whispered accusingly. “Why didn’t you say something?”
“What would it change?” I asked sobbing. “It. Changes. Nothing!”
Anger came on his face and he grabbed my arm.
“Nothing? You think it does not change anything? I have the damn right to know. I am the father dammit! This … is … also … MY child!”
“You … you can visit him. I … I won’t deny you that” I mumbled.
“Fay!” his voice was pleading now. “We are having a baby. Please … if this is not a reason to give us another chance, then what is?”
“Nothing!” I replied in pain. “Nothing can give us a chance!”
Suddenly V was there and took Vipers arm. He looked at her as she led him some distance away. I was left behind feeling paralyzed.
Viper
I had the feeling that the floors were pulled from under me. Fay was pregnant and she did not think it necessary to let me know. Anger and disappointment gnawed at my heart. I wanted to shake her and at the same time wanted to pull her into my arms and kiss her until she saw that she belonged with me. A hand grabbed my arm and I looked around in astonishment. The blonde, Fay's friend, stood beside me and looked at me pleadingly. She pulled me aside and with a last look at Fay, I followed her.
“Let her be for a bit”, the blonde said softly. “Can’t you see she is in shock? I will take her home and will take care of her. Here is my number. Call me tomorrow and we discuss how to proceed. I think you belong together but she won’t hear off it. I want to help you but I need your help. You have to shift gears and slow down if you want her. Give her some room to breathe. The most important thing at this moment is not your feelings, but that the child be born healthy. No stress, no hassle! Give her time!”
I closed my eyes. This was all too much at once. I could barely think straight. And because of that, the words the blonde was saying made sense. In addition I could use some time to process everything and think in peace. So I nodded.
“Good”, she said satisfied. “Call me.”
“Thanks”, I said sadly and she nodded.
“I have to go to her. See you!”
I watched her as she went over to Fay and took her gently into her arms. My heart ached. I wanted to take Fay into my arms but I knew it would be the wrong thing to do right now. The ambulance and police had arrived and I walked over to an officer to let them know what had happened. I looked around after all statements were taken, but Fay was gone. Disappointed I turned to Brian, who eventually had shown up and I explained to him as best as I could what went down. I knew that I did not want to have an after party today and knew it would be a sleepless night.
Fay
Martin was dead! How often had I wished for him to be dead and now that he was, I felt neither satisfaction, freedom nor relief. I felt dead, myself. Two days had passed since the incident and I knew that V and Viper were in contact. V made it clear to me that Viper had a right to participate in his child’s life and I knew that she was right. But the child had not been born yet. Nobody could force me to see him now.
“Fay!” V said vehemently. “Viper just wants to talk to you. He promised me to neither touch you against your will, nor to bother you with any questions. He just wants to talk to you in peace. For the sake of the child and the subsequent relationship between the child and his father, you ought to give yourself a jolt and talk to him.”
I closed my eyes to hold back the welling tears without success. They still ran down my cheeks freely. I hesitantly nodded and heard a sigh of relief from my best friend.
“I’ll call him” she said.
She got up and went into the hallway. I heard her talking softly, then she came back.
“He will be here in ten minutes. I will leave you alone so you can talk freely.”
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“No” I screamed hysterically. “You can’t leave me alone with him.”
“Fay! He loves you. What are you afraid of? He never did anything to you, right?”
I shook my head.
“And he never would, right? I mean, I don’t know him, but I don’t think he would harm you.”
“No, that’s not it.” I said softly. “I … I am afraid that … I will give in.”
“And that would be so bad? Sugar, this man loves you. And you love him!”
“You know ferfectly well that it’s not that simple!” I said defensively.
“It is that simple. YOU are the one that makes things more complicated then they need to be!”
The doorbell rang and V went to open the door. I heard Vipers voice and I felt my heart beat in my throat. I buried my face in my hands. I knew he was in my room before he talked to me. I could feel his eyes on me. The front door closed … V had left us alone.
“Fay!” His voice sounded rough like never before. I heard him come closer and he sat down in the armchair next to me. I could see him from the corner of my eye. “Could you at least look at me? Please!”
I hesitantly moved the hands away from my face and turned my head. I looked at his face for a brief moment, but the grief that I saw was too painful. I quickly lowered my eyes and looked into my lap. I heard him sigh.
“I am so sorry how everything ended, Fay. I wish I knew how to fix everything. I promised V not to ask you any questions. I will leave it up to you, what and when you tell me something, but it is about time I tell you my story.”
I wrapped my arms around my body and closed my eyes. Viper started to talk.
“I had a sister” he began, and I knew by the sound of his voice, that whatever he was about to tell me would be bad. He had a sister. She must be dead. He continued: “Her name was Celine. She was eight years older than me. She was like a beautiful angel to me. Her long black hair shone when the sun hit it. Her gray eyes were always soft. I was four and she was twelve, when I first noticed it. Dad was a hard man and I was afraid of him. I thought of him as a monster. What kind of monster was about to come out. He molested my sister … Regularly. She did everything to keep it a secret from me, but when I was four years old, I caught him. I had no idea what he was doing. I only knew that he was hurting her and that … that it was not right. I felt so useless. I could not do anything!” I could hear tears in his voice, but I did not have the courage to look at him. What he was telling was similar to what I had experienced. His sister was abused just like I had been. Tears ran down my face, as I continued to listen. “It lasted for years. Celine tried not to cry, when he was abusing her. She did not want me to hear it, but I did anyways. I wanted to help her, but my father was too strong. Once he beat me so bad that I was in pain for days. I was little, weak and useless. My brother did not want to see anything. My mother had left us when I was three. Then came the day I was nine, and he had just abused her … in the kitchen. This time she was screaming and I knew it must have been bad. I went into the living room and got dad’s gun from the closet. I knew that it was always loaded. I took the weapon and went back into the kitchen. He had laid her on the kitchen table. Her face was swollen shut and he had one hand on her throat, strangulating her. She made strange noises. He strangulated her, as he … I took off the safety and dad must have heard it. He turned around to me, let go of Celine and she suddenly came up to get some air. I had already pulled the trigger. I had aimed at him but suddenly she was in front of him and …” I guessed what would come next and my heart broke into a thousand pieces for the little boy that he had been. The boy that wanted to save his sister and … “… There was only a small red dot on her white night gown” he continued like he was still seeing it from the perspective of a little boy. “Her eyes were on me, confused. Then the little red dot became a big one and her whole top turned red with her blood and she collapsed. Vince! That was her last word … Full of disbelief. Then dad attacked me and I emptied the whole magazine into his chest. He stumbled, grabbed me with him and we both fell to the ground. He was dead. His heavy body was on top of mine. I could not move. I was too weak! I have no idea how long I was lying under him. It had to be two days before they found us. The whole time my eyes were on Celine. Her lifeless eyes looked at me. Eyes that still haunt me in my sleep today. I was admitted to the children’s psychological hospital. I was released when I was twelve and was sent to a foster family. By the time I was fourteen I had had over twenty foster families. I ran away, started to do martial arts and was in a street gang. Then Boris found me. He took me off the streets, gave me a home and trained me. I was obsessed to become the strongest fighter. I never wanted to be weak again. Weakness was what prevented me from saving my sister. I never wanted to be weak again.”
I did not know what to say. We were silent for a while, then I summoned all my courage to look up. The pain and fear in his eyes brought up my tears again.
“Ever since then, I have had depression. I have abandonment fears and I have bad bouts of aggression when I get emotionally overloaded. I have been in psych hospitals seven times since Boris took me in. I am not the man a father wishes for his daughter. I am also not the kind of man a woman would want. I understand if you resent me because of this. I resent myself. I just wanted to tell you … that you are the best thing that has ever happened to me in my life. You and the child. I love you, Fay. I will always love you and I will always be there for you. For you and the child. You will never need anything … I promise you that. You are everything to me. I would even give up fighting for you. I would do anything, if you only would take me back. But I know that I am asking for too much. I am just asking you to let me be a part of your life. As a friend, as the father of our child. I will leave you alone now, so you can think it over in peace.”
He got up and I heard his steps move away.
Viper
Leaving was the hardest thing I ever had to do in my life. It was more difficult than pouring my soul out to her. I hoped that she would contact me. That she would allow me to see her and the child again. My heart flinched with every step that I took towards the door.
“I was abused!” the voice behind me said and I froze. “By my stepfather. It went on for years ... Nobody helped me. My mom looked the other way. I had nobody else.”
I turned around and stared at her. My heart broke. I saw my dad … how he abused Celine and suddenly I saw Fay and that bastard of a stepfather. I wished he had not ran into that car. I wished I could turn back time and kill him. I never would have thought that. My Fay. My sweet Fay! Tears were running down her cheeks and I felt my own hot tears flowing.
“You … you were the best that has ever happened to me in my life. The first man that I ever meant anything to, that took care of me. You have shown me what love is”, she sobbed and I sighed in pain.
“Fay, oh God, Fay!” I said roughly and took the last step between us. I threw myself onto my knees and hugged her. She held on to me like she was drowning. “Fay! Why didn’t you say something?”
“I was ashamed. I thought you could never love me if you knew that I was not an innocent girl. You treated me like I was valuable when in fact I was so terribly dirty and rotten.”
“No!” I interrupted her vehemently. “You ARE valuable. You are not dirty because of what he did to you. HE is the dirty and rotten one. Not YOU! Never you, Fay!”
“I wish I could believe you” she said sadly.
“Believe me, Fay. You are like my sister. An angel. You both didn’t do anything. It was not her fault and it was not your fault. I love you, Fay. Nothing can change that.”
I pulled away from her and took her face into my hands.
“Is that why you left? Because you thought that I could not love you once I knew the truth?”
She shook her head.
“No” she said weak. “When you left to get your brother, my cell phone rang. I answered it without checking the number because I thought it was you.”
She nodded.
“He threatened me. He said that if I would not come back he would get you arrested for drug possession. He had worked for the FBI. He had connections. It would have been easy for him to frame you.”
I could not believe my ears. She had left me to protect me? I shook my head in disbelief.
“You did it because of me?” I asked. “You went back to HIM because he wanted to frame me?”
“I had to do it.” she said desperately. “I could not let him send you to jail. I thought you would hate me for that. Once you knew all about me. And if you would get into this kind of trouble because of me, I couldn’t have handled your hatred if you had sent me away.”
“Fay!” I said and again shook my head. “I would go through hell for you, don’t you know that? I would rather die than have you spend one more minute with this … this pig.”
“I did it for you. I could endure anything knowing that you were okay and that …”
“Dammit, Fay!” I said in pain. “I was anything but okay. My world collapsed!”
“I am sorry!” she yelled upset. “I … I did not know … I thought you would forget me and continue to live your life. I had no right to drag you into my affairs.”
“Yes!” I yelled back and grabbed her by the shoulders, shaking her. “You have every right in the world. You are MINE! Didn’t I tell you that often enough? YOU. ARE. MINE! Dammit! Fay! Don’t do this ever again! No matter what happens. I am here for you to protect you. Whoever wants to get to you has to get through me first. Over my dead body will you be hurt, Fay! Don’t you get it? Is it so hard for you to understand, that I love you?”
She looked at me in shock. I took a deep breath and let go off her. With as much softness and comfort that I could muster, I took her by the hands and looked at her.