The Lilith Trilogy Box Set

by Kim ten Tusscher

  After that, she made her way to the kitchen. The servants were working as well as chattering. They greeted the Ancilla Princeps with a nod.

  “Raja, when you’re finished with your doubtlessly important conversation, I’d like you to pluck the pheasant,” Ghalatea ordered, pointing at the fowl hanging from the arm rest of a chair.

  The girl turned around with a start. Her cheeks were red and she made a quick curtsy. “Of course, Ancilla Princeps, as you wish, Ancilla Princeps.”

  Everyone in the kitchen went quiet. The girls got stuck into their work, hoping not to draw attention to themselves. The silence was only interrupted by the sounds of plates being rinsed down and vegetables being chopped.

  Ghalatea looked around contentedly. At moments like these she would sit down by the fire to observe the girls. That always made them even more industrious. But today the Ancilla Princeps decided to go to bed for a little while. Maybe she could make up for the wakeful hours of the previous night.

  As she walked down the corridors, Ghalatea realized that she had been much more brusque with the maidservant than usual. The conversation with the king had made her irritable. She felt ashamed when she realized that she had almost been thankful for the opportunity to reprimand the girl. It had been a nice diversion.

  A big bang released Ghalatea from the claws of her nightmare. The wind, howling around the building, pounded against the window a second time. Tears were streaming down Ghalatea’s face and she thanked the Gods that she had woken up.

  She had been dreaming about the Purifications again. After all these years, she still didn’t really understand what that meant, being Purified. The Goddess said that all shapeshifters and their offspring were descendant from the devil. Evil blood ran through their veins, but the ceremony remedied that. But what had exactly changed since her Purification? Ghalatea didn’t know the answer, she only knew that she had been scarred for life.

  “Stop thinking about it, just stop thinking about it,” she told herself in order to distract her thoughts. She looked at the little clock on the mantelpiece that she could only just see from her bed. The hands indicated that it was a little past five.

  “The perfect time to check whether the servants have set lord Yvar’s table properly. After that, I’ll bring Lilith some food again. Let’s see, where did I put my shoes?”

  She said everything she was doing out loud to stop herself from thinking about her dream.

  Ghalatea scraped the plate with a spoon and held the last mouthful in front of Lilith. Even though quite a few days had passed, the woman was still wolfing down her food. She had a bit more meat on her bones now, and the bruise on her face had finally started to disappear. The Ancilla Princeps put the plate on the bedside cabinet, and Lilith followed it with a disappointed gaze. Smiling, Ghalatea brushed the hair out of the young woman’s face.

  “I also brought you some fruit purée.” She grabbed a bowl out of her basket and removed the cloth.

  The first bite made Lilith groan in delight. For the first time she ate slowly, as though she was trying to savour every mouthful as long as possible. “Will you stay?” she asked when the fruit purée was gone.

  “Would you like me to?”

  The prisoner nodded.

  “I’ll stay with you until you fall asleep.”

  Ghalatea was prepared for Lilith’s request. She took a green veil out of her basket. After she had moved the hoop, she embroidered a little flower with quick and precise stitches.

  “Don’t.”

  Ghalatea looked up. Lilith was having a nightmare again.

  “Stop it, please!” This was followed by a scream. Lilith was shielding her head with her arms and tried to crawl to the wall. Her body was twitching and each twitch was followed by a moan. It seemed as if an invisible person was beating her up. “Please, stop!” she begged.

  Ghalatea tried to calm her down but didn’t succeed this time.

  “Do whatever you want, master,” Lilith eventually whispered.

  She screamed but after that she finally calmed down.

  Ghalatea stared at her, thoughtful. This was the clearest nightmare Lilith had had so far. Normally she would growl without uttering intelligible words. Other times her body would only twitch.

  She thought back to what the king had said about this woman having attacked two men. The words of the king didn’t leave room for doubt that Lilith would have murdered them if she’d had the chance. But that seemed inconsistent with what just happened. What the king had said, therefore, couldn’t be true.

  “I’ll take care of you, dear,” she whispered.

  The prisoner coughed a few times without waking up. At the same time she moaned.

  “I’ll be back with help,” Ghalatea promised as she wiped away the mucus around Lilith’s mouth.

  All was quiet in the corridors of the palace, because it was the servants’ dinner time. Once she got outside, Ghalatea pulled her hood farther over her head. It was snowing softly. The cold wind effortlessly cut through the thick wool of her clothes. It wasn’t wise to leave the palace in such nasty weather, but Ghalatea was determined to fetch Ébha. So she hurried across bridges and slithered along narrow stairs between high buildings. The buildings sometimes offered protection from the wind, but it wasn’t long before Ghalatea was chilled to the bone. The Ancilla Princeps knocked on a door, relieved that she could get out of the cold. The door opened to a crack.

  “What do you want?” Two eyes regarded her suspiciously. The eyes were all that could be seen of the person standing behind the door.

  “I’ve heard that lady Ébha is here. I need her help.”

  The door opened a little wider. The woman looked her up and down.

  “It’s not for me,” Ghalatea rushed to tell her. The warm air emanating from the house touched her cheeks invitingly, but the woman didn’t seem to have any intention of letting her in. She even stepped forwards and looked around. The street was deserted.

  Then she swung the door open more widely and motioned for Ghalatea to follow her. The Ancilla Princeps stamped the snow off her boots and hung her cloak on a hook.

  “We have to be very careful,” the woman explained in justification of her behaviour as they walked to the living room. Ghalatea nodded understandingly. “People who want to hurt Ébha could also come at the door, this has happened in other cities.” She shook her head and gestured at the couch. “Have a seat, the lady is busy.”

  The group of Merzians that had gathered in this house mainly consisted of women. They all looked up when Ghalatea entered, but after they had examined her, they relaxed. Ghalatea sat down next to a woman who had her arm in a sling. Her other neighbour was one of the few men in the room. He was shivering incessantly.

  The door at the back of the room opened. A woman appeared. She didn’t wear any jewellery and was clothed in a brown dress. That had to be Ébha. There was nothing that indicated her powers, but at the same time her appearance, being as plain as it was, screamed healeress.

  The contrast with the way sorcerers dressed couldn’t be more striking. They embroidered symbols on their clothes and wore rings, pendants and bracelets to increase their powers. It was almost as if the healeresses were trying to provoke the sorcerers with their appearance: they didn’t need all those trinkets to be able to use their powers.

  Ghalatea chuckled to herself. Ferhdessar probably wouldn’t agree with her.

  Ébha noticed her and walked up to her. “Welcome. May I enquire why you’re here?”

  Ghalatea guided the healeress to a corner of the room, as far away from the others as possible. She lowered her voice. “There’s a young woman in the palace who could really use your help. I want to ask you to come with me.”

  “Of course I will. I’m occupied here for a few more hours, after that I’ll come with you.”

  The Ancilla Princeps shook her head. “There’s more you should know about her. This woman is a prisoner of the king. She was flogged.” The healeress frowned. “Lord
Yvar hasn’t given me permission to ask you for help. I think you should know that, so you can decide for yourself.”

  For a brief moment Ébha’s eyes flared with anger. “You’re only giving me more reasons to come with you. Wait here for me, I need to help the others first.”

  Ghalatea nodded, and Ébha returned to the backroom to resume her work. Ghalatea attentively observed all the people who entered the room. Some were even carried in because they couldn’t walk any more. When they came back out, they all looked much better. They were happy and relieved that the treatment provided immediate results. Ghalatea saw this as confirmation that she had made the right decision in coming here.

  “Wake up.”

  Ghalatea’s voice woke Lilith from her nightmare. The haze in which the past few days had gone by had only been interrupted by a few lucid moments. Lilith had a strong suspicion that someone was putting something in her food to keep her numb, but in spite of that, she hadn’t been able to refuse the food. She was much too hungry.

  Even though Ghalatea was the only one bringing her food, Lilith didn’t suspect her of being the one tampering with it. The Ancilla Princeps was often there when she woke up. She would be embroidering by the window or holding Lilith’s hand when she jolted awake from a nightmare. Her calm voice soothed her, but Ghalatea never asked what her dreams were about. That was why Lilith had decided she could trust the woman.

  Even before she had opened her eyes, she heard another woman say, “You can stay outside. The girl can’t do anything anyway, she’s in too bad a shape.”

  That had to be directed at the soldiers who always entered the room when someone came to take care of Lilith. She only saw a brightly lit rectangle before the door closed.

  Ghalatea lighted some candles. Another woman appeared before Lilith and carefully put a hand on her shoulder. At first Lilith got angry, but she soon relaxed. The woman’s touch was really gentle. It was a pity that she almost immediately took her hand away again to tie her hair back.

  “I’m Ébha, a healeress. The Ancilla Princeps asked me to treat you.”

  Lilith nodded meekly. When the woman held her hands above Lilith’s head, the pain slowly disappeared. To Lilith’s relief, it didn’t make her any less clearheaded.

  “Very well, I’ll get started,” the healeress said while she pulled the sheet away. “I’m not going to touch you, but you will notice that I’m doing something. If you want me to stop, just say so.”

  Lilith was surprised that the healeress consulted with her and even gave her control over what was happening. That had never happened before. She had never had a say in anything. Ébha was holding her hand above her back. Lilith felt a warm glow spreading through her body. Ghalatea had seated herself next to the door. She was nervously plucking at her skirts. Without saying it out loud, Lilith mouthed a thank you. The Ancilla Princeps gave her an encouraging nod.

  “How does this feel?” Ébha asked Lilith.

  “Nice.”

  “That’s good. I feel that your body was working hard at healing itself already, but I’ll lend it a hand.”

  “Thank you,” Lilith whispered.

  “Close your eyes and surrender to the treatment.”

  Without hesitation she did what the woman asked. Moments later Ébha’s hands moved to her wrist. The warmth got even more intense and it felt as if little jolts of energy shot up and down her bones.

  “Right, this shouldn’t bother you any more.”

  Lilith opened her eyes when the woman removed the splint. Completely amazed, she moved her fingers.

  Ébha had a proud smile on her face. As she took some herbs from her bag, she said, “I’ve done a lot today, so I’m too tired to give you a full treatment. I’ve closed your wounds but they are still very fragile. I’ll apply herbal compresses to speed up your healing process. Contrary to my powers, the powers of herbs are never exhausted. If I accidentally hurt you, please say so.”

  Then Ébha got out some other things. She hesitated for a second when she pulled out a leather roll but decided to put it away again. Ghalatea fidgeted, causing the healeress to look at her over her shoulder.

  “I don’t think there’s much time left,” Ghalatea whispered in clarification.

  “He’ll have to wait,” was Ébha’s determined answer.

  While Lilith was still wondering who they were talking about, the door flew open.

  “What’s going on here?” Ferhdessar roared.

  Lilith screamed. Since that first day, the sorcerer had paid her a few more visits. He had asked his questions but hadn’t pressed Lilith for answers. Sometimes, when she had pretended to be sleeping, he had just stared at her from the doorway.

  Lilith knew that he was determined to get her to talk, but his silence terrified her just as much. She couldn’t guard herself from it and she lived in fear of another confrontation with him. The question wasn’t if but rather when it would happen.

  “Please, let Ébha carry on, she’s almost ready,” Ghalatea begged as she tried to stop him.

  But Ferhdessar pushed her aside and stormed towards the bed. “You spawn of the devil, I should have you taken prisoner,” he growled.

  Ébha calmly turned around. “I would very much appreciate it if you’d let me finish my job first. After that, we’ll go somewhere nice and quiet to discuss whatever it is you dislike about me. My patient doesn’t need to witness this.”

  “This woman is a prisoner, not a patient.”

  “She’s hurt and she needed my help.”

  “She brought this on herself.”

  Lilith cringed when she felt his finger on her back. Ferhdessar slowly traced the lines left by the scourge. The healeress pulled his hand away.

  “You people are criminals yourselves for doing things like this to others. How can you condemn violence if you inflict punishments like that. How do you justify that?”

  The sorcerer didn’t respond and instead kneeled beside Lilith. He was so close that she could feel his breath on her cheek. “Now that you’re restored to health, the Ancilla Princeps can no longer keep me from talking to you. We’ll meet again soon.”

  He laid his hand on her hair, but Lilith withdrew her head. The sorcerer got up and walked to Ghalatea.

  “I don’t think the king gave you permission for this,” Lilith heard him say to the Ancilla Princeps, who averted her head before straightening her back.

  “I won’t allow you to hurt Lilith.”

  “And how exactly are you going to stop me? I think it would be best if someone else took care of the prisoner from now on. As of tomorrow, you’re no longer allowed to see her and she’ll be in my hands.”

  He laughed and Ghalatea stood aghast. Lilith could hardly hear her response because the Ancilla Princeps spoke very softly.

  “You can’t just decide that, that’s up to lord Yvar.”

  “Of course I’ll confer with him first, but I’m pretty sure he’ll follow my advice.”

  Lilith knew this to be true, because Ghalatea bowed her head. She suddenly noticed that her fists were clenching the sheet. She let go but didn’t succeed in relaxing. Ébha didn’t fail to notice.

  “I’d appreciate it if you’d leave the room, wizard,” she said without looking up.

  Ferhdessar grabbed Ghalatea by her arm and dragged her out of the room, at the same time sending the guards in.

  “Good, now I can at least finish my work in peace,” Ébha mumbled.

  When she was finished, she pulled up a chair and sat next to Lilith. She lowered her voice, so the soldiers couldn’t hear the conversation. “If it was up to me, I’d come back for another treatment, but I don’t think that’s possible. Nevertheless, I hope we’ll meet again in different circumstances. I’d like to get to know you better. I think there’s something hidden inside you…”

  That gave Lilith a fright. Why did everybody think she was hiding something?

  “Calm down. You’re an extraordinary woman, in the good sense of the word. That which lies
hidden, however, is tucked away deeply and I don’t have time right now to examine it more closely. There’s someone who’d like a word with me.” She made a meaningful gesture at the door and rolled her eyes. “Don’t forget that everyone has good in them, Lilith. You may have known nothing but pain, but I think underneath all of that something very beautiful has managed to grow.”

  As Ébha got up, Lilith was still trying to get her head around what she had just said. The words were a riddle but held great promise. Before Ébha could leave the room Lilith said, “Thank you for everything. I hope this won’t get you into trouble. Or Ghalatea…”

  “Don’t you worry. We both knew the risks involved and we’re prepared to accept the consequences. I wish you well, Lilith. It might not seem that way right now, but I truly believe things will get better for you.”

  The soldiers blew out the candles and left the room as well. Until then Lilith hadn’t realized that it was the middle of the night. Her body was still glowing from the treatment. It was miraculous that people could carry such power inside them, constructive instead of repressive like the power of the sorcerers she knew. She dozed off, soothed by the knowledge that tonight she wouldn’t be haunted by images from her past.

  4

  Ghalatea was humming quietly as she spread out the herbs on the floor. The treatment had done Lilith much good and she was proud of that. Even though it was still hard for her to move, the prisoner had walked around her room a little bit this morning.

  Of course Ferhdessar had been livid. He and Ébha had been arguing in the corridor for a long time. The argument had claimed all his attention, so Ghalatea had come away unscathed. She, however, didn’t know for how long. The sorcerer was bound to confront her sometime. That couldn’t be helped. Ghalatea felt that she’d had no choice but to bring in Ébha.

  On top of the thin layer of grey-green sage, she now strewed decorative lines of purple lavender. The herbs filled the room with a wonderful scent that was reinforced each time someone walked over the dried leaves and bruised them. In the middle, she created the symbol of Merzia out of dandelion leaves. They were scentless and chosen for their colour.