The Lilith Trilogy Box Set

by Kim ten Tusscher

  Lilith nodded. Ghalatea held her face with both hands and pressed a kiss on Lilith’s cheek.

  “Cherish who you are, Lilith. Don’t forget about that little girl. Cherish her, until the day that you’re strong enough to cast off your shell and present yourself to the outside world.”

  Lilith bowed her head and curled herself up. Ghalatea wrapped her arms around her. The old woman’s tears rolled down Lilith’s neck and back. They sat in this embrace for a while.

  When the bells started to toll, Ghalatea jumped up.

  “The alarm bells,” she exclaimed in shock, and she rushed out of the room.

  Lilith remained curled up for a little while longer, but then she got back to her feet. She picked up the poker and raised her arm to strike. After some hesitation she threw the poker away. She knew it wouldn’t help her drive away the pain. Even if she cut her entire body open, it wouldn’t be enough to forget about the pain in her heart.

  Without knowing what she was going to do, Lilith left her room an hour later. There were lots of people milling around in the corridors. Servants were rushing past, carrying baskets filled with vegetables or sacks of flour, and maids were running around with bedclothes in their arms. Lilith hardly noticed them. Only when someone bumped into her, did she become aware of all the people around her.

  “I’m sorry,” Aida stammered, picking up the bedclothes she had dropped. “Please, don’t hurt me.”

  “Why would I hurt you?”

  Lilith was taken aback by the fear in the maidservant’s eyes. When she took a step forwards, Aida backed away. Shaking with fear, she picked up the last cloth and ran off. Lilith stared after her.

  She could never have expected that it would affect her so much to see Aida this afraid of her. A few days ago she had even wished that Aida would be scared of her, because then the tormenting might finally stop. But right now, the maidservant’s eyes were a mirror that showed her how others saw her: as a scary monster, a murderer. Maybe it felt so bad because what Aida thought of her was the truth.

  A group of servants walked by. Lilith stepped backwards. Some of the women sneaked a surreptitious glance at her and when they were a bit farther down the corridor they started to whisper to one another. They might as well have been screaming, though. “She’s dangerous, do you know what she’s done?” As one of them related what had happened in the Great Hall the other day, two men looked over their shoulder. They immediately cast down their eyes when they met Lilith’s gaze.

  Lilith suppressed the urge to stop them and tell them the full story. There was no use, none of the servants would understand. Not even Ghalatea had understood it at first. Only the king and Ferhdessar had comprehended what had happened. Maybe it was best to go looking for the sorcerer now.

  No one answered when she knocked on the door to Ferhdessar’s room, so she tried to push it open. The door was locked, however, so she walked back to the soldiers who were guarding this part of the palace. When she asked them where she could find Ferhdessar, they answered that he was in the garden. Lilith had an anxious feeling that she had to be quick, so she ran through the corridors. People jumped out of the way and she yelled apologies at them.

  When she found Ferhdessar, he was just pushing his flying machine to a ramp that was placed at the edge of the rock pillar.

  “What in the world is going on?” she panted.

  Vexed, the sorcerer looked up. “We received a message that one of Merzia’s seaport towns is under attack.”

  “From Kasimirh?”

  “I think so.”

  So it had begun, Kasimirh had taken the next step. Lilith came even closer. “Are you going there?”

  Ferhdessar nodded.

  “Are you flying?” Lilith asked incredulously.

  “Why not? This is the perfect opportunity to test this machine and there’s no faster way to travel.”

  Lilith let her gaze pass over the aircraft. Ferhdessar had painted the light metal of the body a shiny black and then he had wrapped it in transparent, black fabric to give the flying machine a better shape. The sorcerer’s relatively slow pedalling would be converted by means of gear wheels into faster wingbeats. Lilith shook her head. She couldn’t believe that Ferhdessar was really going to ride off the ramp and plunge into nothingness in the hope that his machine would carry him.

  “You’ll grow tired pretty soon if you have to pedal the entire way.”

  “I’ll manage, one way or the other. There’s no alternative. I need to get to Havv’n as soon as possible. I might still be of help.”

  Lilith pushed her misgivings about the aircraft aside. “Will you take me with you?”

  “That’s much too dangerous. You’re better off staying here.”

  “As if I have a life here. They’re all giving me the cold shoulder,” she complained.

  “Yeah, well, that’s your own fault. You’re the one who shouted your crimes from the rooftops.”

  “I did have other things on my mind than to think of the consequences of my actions, thank you very much.”

  Ferhdessar gave her a penetrating gaze before he walked up to her. “Anukasan has told me what happened yesterday. I was astounded by your reaction. Your master killed your parents. You should be angry with him, not with yourself.”

  “I was the one who did it.” Lilith viciously tapped her finger on her chest three times, while repeating the word “me”. “Nobody else.”

  Ferhdessar heaved a deep sigh. “That’s why I can’t take you with me, Lilith. I’m working under the assumption that Kasimirh will still be in Havv’n when I get there. You’re a long way from being ready to meet him.”

  Lilith bowed her head. She wanted to get away from Nadesh so badly.

  “Fine,” she suddenly said resolutely and held out her arm to him. “I want you to take off my wristband. It’s time for me to leave the palace.”

  “And then what?” Ferhdessar had been getting ready to board the plane, but now he turned back around.

  “Then I’ll fly to this town that you’re talking about and I’ll go help the people there.”

  Ferhdessar shook his head disapprovingly. “It isn’t that simple.”

  Lilith nodded. She knew that her plan wasn’t perfect. As soon as she changed into a dragon, Kasimirh would enter her mind. It wasn’t going to be a pleasant flight.

  “I want to at least try to do this. So I’d like you to take off my wristband and give me back my shapeshifting amulet. And should Kasimirh still be there, I’ll help you defeat him, like we agreed.”

  Ferhdessar uttered a brief laugh, as if she was making a joke. Then he shook his head. “I don’t think it’s wise. But, at the same time, I can’t stop you.” He looked at his machine. “Seeing that you’re going in that direction anyway, could you perhaps take me with you? I’m sure you’re faster than my aircraft.”

  Lilith grinned. “That wouldn’t be a problem.”

  “Great, I’ll notify the king.”

  “That gives me the opportunity to gather some things and say goodbye to Ghalatea.”

  Side by side they walked back into the palace. Lilith was glad that she would be travelling with the sorcerer. As long as she was near him, nothing could happen to her. It made her a bit less anxious about seeing the master again.

  Lilith wrapped the figurine of Jakob in a cloth. It was the last item she put in the rucksack that Ghalatea had given her. Then she turned around to face the Ancilla Princeps, who was sitting on the edge of the bed.

  “I’m going to miss you Ghalatea. You’ve taken such good care of me and I know that I can trust you. Your insights have often helped me when I didn’t know what to do any more.”

  “I’m honoured that you think of me like that.”

  “I’m sure there are more people who feel that way. You didn’t become Ancilla Princeps for no reason.”

  Laughing, Ghalatea rose to her feet. “I’m going to miss you too, but I’m so proud of you. It’s good that you’re going to do this.” They hug
ged. “Will you be careful?”

  “Of course I will. And Ferhdessar is with me, so you don’t have to worry.”

  A deep sigh escaped Ghalatea’s lips. “Be on your guard around him. He’s not interested in your well-being.”

  Lilith shrugged. “I know that you never trusted him, but I do. He promised to help and protect me.”

  “He’s capable of much more than you think, Lilith. When push comes to shove, he’ll do what he thinks is right and he won’t take your best interests into consideration. It scares me to think of all the ways he could hurt you.”

  “I’ll remember that, Ghalatea. And I’ll be careful. I can stand up for myself, you know.”

  “Lilith, he has…” Then Ghalatea changed her mind. She had wanted to say that Ferhdessar had urged Anukasan to tell Lilith what had happened to her parents. But she feared that it might have an adverse effect.

  Luckily, Lilith didn’t ask what she had wanted to say.

  “If Kasimirh is still in Havv’n, I will destroy him with Ferhdessar’s help! That’s all I’m going to do. Please, don’t worry, I’ll be back before you know it.” Lilith conjured up a smile. Nevertheless, she didn’t feel half as confident as she made it sound. “And then nobody will call me a murderer any more. Instead, I’ll get a hero’s welcome!”

  The biggest reward, however, would be that she could finally come clean with Chrys. If she had done away with Kasimirh, Chrys could no longer hold her past actions against her.

  Ghalatea shrugged resignedly and handed Lilith a little pouch. “Maybe this will offer you some protection. You’re leaving in a bit of a hurry, so I had to gather this rather quickly. I hope it will make you come back safe.”

  Lilith was surprised by the gift. She tucked it away underneath her clothes. “I hope it will lead me back to Chrys.”

  They walked to the Great Hall. Lilith had arranged to meet Ferhdessar there. They didn’t have to wait long before the doors were opened and a group of people walked in. Accompanied by a few members of his Guard, the king entered together with Ferhdessar.

  They stopped in front of Lilith, who made a deep curtsy.

  “Thank you, Lilith, for going out there to help my people.”

  She didn’t dare look up, but Ferhdessar encouraged her to come with him. She whispered, “Where are we going?”

  “The garden is big enough for you to change.”

  “What will the people think when they see me?” she asked, horror-stricken.

  The king gave her a reassuring smile. “It might help that they see you coming from the capital.”

  “Are you coming with us?”

  “I’d like to see you change. I’ve never seen a dragon before,” Yvar said. “Or do you have any objections?”

  Lilith bowed her head, “Of course not, my lord.”

  Ferhdessar drew forth her amulet from his pocket and hung it around her neck. Hesitantly, Lilith looked from Ghalatea to Ferhdessar.

  “I’m scared. This reminds me of how my master prepared me for my missions. Shapeshifting is unpleasant and I fear my master. What’s in store for me?”

  “Nothing can happen to you, Lilith. I’m with you.”

  She nodded at the sorcerer and began her change. Ferhdessar watched Lilith go through the transformations that he had witnessed before. But now the scales replaced the human skin completely, and Lilith grew even larger. Both transformations happened at the same time. Ferhdessar couldn’t tell which happened first, Lilith growing bigger or Lilith changing into a dragon. Suddenly she was a dragon and it seemed as if she had never been a woman. Her black scales gave off a red glow.

  Ferhdessar was keeping a spell prepared to restrain Lilith the second she showed any sign of wanting to attack him or the king. But he was also full of admiration for the creature standing in front of him. Even though she towered over him by several feet, the sorcerer knew that Lilith was small compared to other members of her species. Her long tail was wagging gently. The spikes on her head and back sometimes stood up, but they also went down again. Ferhdessar could clearly see her teeth underneath her lips. Her face was delicate but radiated danger at the same time. There was a coldness in her deep-black eyes.

  Lilith lay down and ordered Ferhdessar to mount. He went to sit between her shoulders. She carefully got back up.

  “Are you ready, Ferhdessar?”

  “Let’s go! You know I’ve been dreaming about flying for a very long time.”

  The dragon bowed deeply in front of the king and smiled at Ghalatea before she took a great leap and flew away.

  Lilith dived into the abyss. The wind soared around her body as she followed a waterfall that was hurtling down from one of the rock peaks. This was the waterfall that put the wheels in motion which provided Nadesh with electricity. Drops of water spat up against her belly. Ferhdessar was pressing his knees into her shoulders. He had nestled against her neck and his yells of excitement sounded close to her ears.

  Several feet from the ground, Lilith changed direction. She flew into the circle between the ten rock peaks and circled back up. With smooth twists and turns she avoided the bridges and the thick cables that ran between the city and the plain to supply the surrounding villages with electricity. She skimmed along tall buildings. It was lovely to behold the city from this point of view. Lilith flew over the palace garden once more, saw that the king and his guards were still watching her, and headed north.

  15

  Kasimirh raised his arms and closed his eyes before he called upon Jakob. He waited for several minutes, but nothing happened. After that one period – so many years ago – God had never appeared to him again. Back then, Jakob had given him his assignment and had disappeared for good. Kasimirh bit back his disappointment. He knelt and started to pray.

  “Lord Jakob, give me the strength to fight in Your name one more day, so that I can do what You desire of me. The battle for Merzia has begun. You taught me that this country, and Nadesh in particular, was pivotal to Your initial plans. That’s why it hurts me that the Merzians, of all people, have strayed farther away from You than anyone else. But that’s going to change!” Kasimirh heard wet footsteps behind him but he wasn’t ready yet. “It won’t be long, Lord Jakob, before this country belongs to You again.” Then he whispered, “I would very much appreciate receiving a sign from You, just so that I know that I’m on the right track.”

  He ended his prayer. He had difficulty getting back up. It drained one’s energy to be using magic, and he had been at it for more than twenty-four hours on end.

  The Muircadh bowed deeply. “Your plans?”

  After all those years, Kasimirh still wasn’t used to the way the servi spoke. They always sounded so curt. He knew, however, that it wasn’t a sign of disrespect. Kasimirh simply hadn’t been able to teach the amphibians more of his language.

  “The same as yesterday. Hopefully we’ll succeed in defeating the Merzians today. It’s safe to say that it won’t take much longer.”

  He studied the creature’s face. The servus seemed to fully understand what he meant.

  “We ready,” the Muircadh said. Then he turned around to dive back into the water. Kasimirh caught a final glimpse of his silhouette that quickly disappeared below the choppy water.

  The Merzians hadn’t been expecting an attack from the north. The element of surprise had helped Kasimirh in his attack. When the first and largest tidal wave had struck them, the Merzians had thought they were dealing with a natural disaster and they hadn’t yet been aware of what was hidden in the waves.

  Nevertheless, it had all taken much too long. This seaport town should have fallen in a few hours’ time, but the servi didn’t have much more to show for their actions than the destruction of the wooden houses on the beach and of one of the two lighthouses. The big gate that was to be their entrance into Merzia remained an unassailable barrier at present. Even from this distance, Kasimirh could see how the gate sparkled defiantly in the light of the morning sun.

  Kasimirh
waited a little while longer before he extended his hands towards the water. As he chanted, the water accumulated around the little island. The waves reversed direction and were no longer rolling towards the beach.

  From the second that Kasimirh started to call up the magic, he didn’t feel his fatigue any more. Water was life, and now that he was connected to the first thing that Jakob had given to the people, he felt more alive than ever. The servi and their boards popped up between the crests on the waves. Everything was in readiness. Kasimirh reluctantly released the power that he had built up. The servi paddled until they moved fast enough to jump on their boards. Kasimirh didn’t notice it any more; there was something else that attracted his attention.

  “Welcome back, Lilith!” he yelled across the water, feeling delighted. He silently thanked Jakob for giving him a sign after all and then focussed on the dragon woman. There could be only one reason why she had changed: she was coming back to him.

  Lilith shivered briefly when the master suddenly entered her mind. She decided to ignore him.

  “Are you coming back to me?”

  She was surprised to hear that he was almost pleading. Nevertheless, she remained quiet.

  “Lilith, answer me!”

  She was startled, because he had suddenly raised his voice. She shivered again. Ferhdessar had to hold on tight to keep from sliding off her back. He yelled something at her, but his words were lost in the wind howling around them.