by Rina Kent
“Being Death is cool.” Knox wraps an arm around Ronan’s shoulder, instantly forgetting about their team-level disagreement. “Everyone is afraid of you on the field.”
“Thank you, Van Doren!” Ronan squeezes him in a bro clutch. “I’m promoting you to my closest friend and firing all these fuckers.”
“I never agreed to being fired,” Cole says.
“You mean you were my friend?” Aiden scratches his chin. “I don’t remember that.”
Cole snaps his fingers as if he recalls something crucial. “But we do remember what you did last week when –”
“Don’t make me go Death all over you, Captain.” Ronan is smiling, but his usual playfulness and warmth are gone.
“Fine.” Cole sighs. “Then let’s play a game.”
“I love games,” Aiden encourages.
“Me, too,” Xander chimes in, but his finger continues caressing my skin underneath my top in a sensual rhythm.
“Bah, merde.” Ronan flops to the sofa opposite everyone else and diagonally from us. “What game?”
“Something simple like…” Cole’s gaze strays to Teal, who remains focused on her phone. “Truth or Dare.”
“Let’s make it more interesting by only doing dares,” Aiden suggests.
Elsa rolls her eyes. “Why am I not surprised you want that?”
“Because I’m going to win and make you do that dare, sweetheart.”
“In your dreams, Aiden.”
“We’ll see about that.” He stares at her for a beat too long. It’s as if he forgets everyone else is here, just like I do when I focus on Xan’s warmth behind my back and his finger wrenching tiny bursts of pleasure from within me.
“Now, where were we?” Aiden addresses everyone else. “Right, dares. Let’s do that.”
“Teal loves dares.” Knox rubs his hands together.
“She does, huh?” Ronan smiles genuinely for the first time since they started ganging up on him.
“Oh.” Cole’s eyes ignite. “That’s a surprise.”
Lie. He knew it all along and is now pretending like he didn’t plot it from the beginning with Aiden.
And Xan’s knowing help.
“She does. They’re her favourite.” Knox falls down beside her. “Aren’t they, T?”
“Shut up, Knox,” she hisses at him without breaking eye contact with her device.
“Why not? The more the merrier, sis.”
“Not interested.” Teal chances a glance at Elsa, but Aiden has already gone back to whispering in her ear, so she might as well not be here.
“Come on. Surely you can give it a go?” Cole asks in a persuasive, gentle tone that I’m certain resembles the devil’s when he’s luring people to sin.
“Afraid of losing, ma belle?” Ronan winks.
“Never.” She meets his gaze for a beat too long, then focuses on the phone again.
“Leave her alone,” I say. I won’t stay still as they corner her.
Teal peeks at me for a second, silently relaying her thanks and I nod at her.
“Stay out of it, Green,” Xander whispers in my ear, eliciting goosebumps on my skin.
I glare at him. “No, I won’t stay –”
My words die in my throat when his other hand snakes between my legs. Even though I’m wearing jeans, all he has to do is touch my nub and I’ll moan.
Shit.
“Now,” Xan murmurs. “How about that alone time?”
“You’re not fair.” I clamp my thighs together so no one sees me. That only increases the pressure and my breathing.
“You know what’s not fair, Green?” he speaks against my ear, causing me to shiver. “Wanting you and not being able to do something about it. I’m done with that phase.”
He pulls me further against him and the bulge of his cock rests hard and thick at the small of my back.
I bite the corner of my lip so I don’t groan aloud. I don’t think I can keep my reaction bottled any longer.
Everyone else is busy with Ronan and I’m not hearing them, but anyone can look in our direction and notice Xan’s hand between my legs.
Like Cole.
I’ll die of embarrassment if he catches us again.
“Fine.” I jerk up to a standing position, interrupting the conversation.
Knox and Ronan give me a quizzical reaction, but Aiden and Cole exchange a sly glance.
Please don’t tell me it’s written all over my face.
“We’re leaving.” Xander wraps an arm around the small of my back, a victorious smile on his face. “Kim wants to sleep early.”
“Tuck her in safely,” Cole says.
Aiden lips twitch in a smirk. “After all, you just won your case against the court of human rights law.”
“Screw you, King.” Xander flips him off.
“Wait.” Elsa wiggles from Aiden’s lap, even though he doesn’t want to let her go.
She reaches me in a few steps. “I thought we’d spend time together tonight. I’ll watch K-dramas with you?”
“That’s the first time you haven’t called them soap operas.” I grin.
“You know what they say, it takes practice.” She pauses. “So? Are we going to spend girls’ night together?”
“I vote against that,” Aiden says.
“Me, too.” Xander pins me to his side. “Later.”
Elsa and I exchange an apologetic glance before Xander practically drags me with him out of Aiden’s house.
As soon as we’re outside, he removes his jacket and drapes it around my shoulders, nodding with satisfaction as it swallows me. “Now, you won’t be cold.”
I hit his shoulder.
“Ouch. What was that for, Green?”
“What was all that about? This is supposed to be a night with friends.”
“Friends are overrated.”
“Now, you’re being cynical.”
He hugs me by my waist and connects his forehead against mine. “I just want to be with you, Green. Not them. I hate anything that distracts me from you.”
Damn.
How can I stay mad after he says things like that? Besides, it was just an excuse. A huge part of me wants to spend alone time with him, too.
He grins. “You just forgave me, didn’t you?”
“Don’t be so full of yourself.”
“Only if I get to fill you.” He brushes his nose against mine. “Told you, I’m not hard to satisfy.”
“You’re just so persistent and annoying about it.”
“Annoying, yes. Why is that news? You always called me annoying when we were kids. But” — he lifts a finger — “you always came back to my side.”
“That I did.”
“Because you can’t resist me.”
“Stop being so arrogant or I’ll kick you.”
“Come on, Green. Arrogance is kind of my image.”
“Even with me?”
“Especially with you. What if you leave me after I shed the image?”
“Not going to happen. Besides, you were always an arrogant, proud arsehole.” And it’s probably why he’s refusing Lewis’s help about the addiction. He doesn’t want to appear weak in front of someone he believes ruined his life years ago.
“Proud arsehole, you say?”
“The worst,” I joke.
“Have you seen my friends? I’m sure I score low on the arsehole scale compared to them.”
“Ro does.”
“Ronan. His name is Ronan. And believe me, he’s not what he seems. He likes to think he’s Switzerland when he’s in fact an imperialist power.”
“Really?”
“He’s Death, after all.”
“And you’re War.”
“Easy to start and hard to end.” He grins. “Remember that, Green. Actually, make it impossible to end.”
For some reason, my heart thumps so loudly, I actually stop breathing for a second to come to terms with what he’s said.
Impossible to end.
He doesn’t want
it to end.
“You weren’t easy to start, Xan.”
“Yes, I was. You always fantasised about me, remember?”
“And you about me.”
“Guilty as charged.”
“Wait, what did Aiden mean by you winning the case in the human rights court of law?”
He thins his lips but remains silent.
“What is it?”
“Nothing.”
“Tell me.”
“No.”
I poke his side. “Xander Edward Knight, since when do you hide things from me?”
His lips move in a sly smirk. “I love it when you call me by my third name. You sound hot.”
“You’re not changing the subject.”
“Bossy, too. Hmm. Now, I want to fuck it out of you.”
“Xan! Stop deflecting and tell me.”
“Fine. It’s Aiden being the usual fucker.”
“For what reason?”
“He knew I was a virgin and never let me live it down.”
I burst in laughter. “So he called the case a human rights one?”
“Stop laughing.” He scowls, pulling me closer into him.
“Sorry, I can’t. It’s so funny.” I try to hold it in but laugh anyway.
“Let’s see if you’ll be laughing when I fuck you until you can’t move tonight.”
My thighs tighten at the promise, but I say. “Back to being arrogant, aren’t we?”
“You still like me.”
“Maybe.” I pretend to look elsewhere.
He grips my chin between his thumb and forefinger, forcing me to stare at those eyes that are so deep, I feel like I’ll never find a way out of them sometimes.
“Say it, Green.” There’s a certain edge in his tone, as if he’ll take things to a different level if I don’t comply.
I wiggle free from his hold and sprint down the street to our houses, calling behind me, “Catch me and I might tell you.”
I might not be an athlete, but I always did decent at running, I mean decent enough to run ahead from him and reach the house before he catches me.
I’m panting after only a few seconds. Thank God the distance is short. My hair sticks to my temples and my clothes are glued to my back.
But I’m already near my front door. I’ll –
Strong arms wrap around me from behind and lift me off the ground. I squeal as his warmth and mint scent envelop me whole.
“Got you, Green.” He nibbles at my ear. “You really thought you could outrun me?”
“Ugh,” I try to squirm free.
“Don’t be a sore loser. Pay up.”
“Fine. Let me down.”
He does, but he keeps an arm around me as if he doesn’t trust me not to try to run again. While I pant, his chest barely rises and falls with the effort.
“Are you a robot?” I groan.
“We need to work on your stamina.” He ruffles my hair. “But first, payment.”
I grab him by the T-shirt, get on tiptoe and kiss him. Just a peck before I pull away.
“That was the appetiser, right?” He runs his forefinger over his lips and I’m transfixed by the sensual movement.
Definitely an appetiser, considering all I can think about right now is kissing his lips until the morning.
“Let’s go to my house,” he says. “Dad won’t be home for a while.”
I fold my arms. “First, give me back my thing.”
“Your thing?”
“My bracelet.” I extend my hand. “Give it back.”
I thought I lost it somewhere that night I was transported to the hospital, but it wasn’t in my personal belongings. There’s only one option as to where it went.
Xander raises an eyebrow. “And here I thought you forgot about it.”
“Never. It’s been with me for seven years, after all.”
He reaches into his jeans and pulls out the bracelet. It’s clean, not soaked with blood like the last time I saw it.
I’m so glad it isn’t. Blood isn’t something I want to see for some time.
Xander takes my scarred wrist in his. Although I removed the stitches, it’s still ugly with long marks. He lifts it to his face and brushes his lips against them. My heart flutters and it takes effort to breathe.
I’m a mess every time he does things like that.
Then he clasps the bracelet around my wrist. “Don’t ever remove it.”
I nod.
He reaches into his other pocket and pulls out a pack of M&M’s, digs into it, and places a green one in front of my mouth. “Open up.”
“I can eat on my own.” I try to snatch the pack, but he keeps it high over my head. “Ugh. You’re unfair.”
“We can stand here all night or you can open that mouth.”
I huff, but I let my lips fall open. The moment he places the M&M inside, I lick his fingers, causing his eyes to darken. Xander’s eyes spark every time I brush my tongue against his skin.
“You’re killing me, Green.”
“Mmmm.” I grab the pack from him, take out a blue M&M, and place it in his mouth. “Have one, too.”
While I brush my lips against his fingers, Xander swallows mine into his hot mouth, lapping them with his tongue. A flash of desire grips me, and it takes everything in me to speak in a semi-normal tone. “You never told me your favourite flavour.”
He speaks around my fingers, “You.”
Holy…
If he keeps saying things like that, I’m going to climb him in public.
“Now.” He flashes me his dimples. “About that redo.”
I’m about to kiss him when a presence cuts into our peripheral vision. I stagger backwards but don’t leave Xander’s embrace.
My mouth gapes.
The blonde hair, the elegant posture. It’s almost like seeing a ghost.
Xander’s entire body tightens as she smiles. “Hello, Xan.”
34
Xander
“Mum?”
My voice is incredulous, even to my own ears. The woman I thought I would never see in this lifetime stands in front of me.
Her hair is straight and blonde and falls to her shoulders, just as I remember. She’s wearing one of the elegant dresses fit for the upper class, and she still has a brooch over her clothes.
If I didn’t know we’d separated more than twelve years ago, I would’ve thought we saw each other yesterday.
Her face has that familiar permanent small smile and her blue almond-shaped eyes have no wrinkles surrounding them.
“How have you been, kids?” She stares between me and Kim as if this is an everyday occurrence, as if she went out for a stroll and just returned.
“You’ve grown up so much, Kim.” She smiles. “Thankfully, you don’t look like your snake of a mother.”
What the fuck?
First, my mum is here.
Second, did I mention my mum is here?
“Can I talk to Xander?” she asks Kim, whose eyes remain wide, as if she’s witnessing a ghost’s appearance and probably thinking about ghostbuster options.
Same for me.
“Uh…” She shakes her head, then squeezes my hand. “I’ll be…home if you need me.”
I don’t even have the right state of mind to nod or do anything. I’m still staring at my mum and trying to figure out if I had enough alcohol to end up with another ‘dream’.
Soft lips seal against my cheek and it’s enough to pull me out of my trance. I glance down at Kim and she smiles in the warmest, most considerate way any human would.
Her smile says words she doesn’t have to utter out loud.
I’m here for you. I’ll always be here for you.
I smile back, showing her the dimples she loves so much. “Go ahead, Green.”
She nods, chances one last glance at Mum, then slowly heads to her house.
The only two who remain are me and the woman who brought me into this world.
The woman who left because Dad was too much.
“Should we go inside?” She motions at our house – mine and Dad’s, not hers. Because she left it without a look back.
I don’t say anything as I stride through the door, knowing she’ll follow. The sound of her heels echoes in the empty hall.
Ahmed greets us at the entrance and stops upon seeing her.
“Hello, Ahmed. How have you been?” She smiles at him with a warmth that she used to give me.
A warmth that’s a little bit sad, a little bit forced, a little bit fake.
And I used to gobble it all down because it came from her, my mother.
“Hello.” He turns into his completely professional stance. “Can I get you anything, Xander?”
A bottle of vodka would be grand, thank you very much.
“Nothing,” I breathe out.
“A glass of wine for me,” Mum says.
“I’m afraid we have no wine.” He nods and disappears around the corner. I have no doubt that he’ll call Dad and inform him about our unexpected guest.
Before Dad comes home, Mum and I need to talk.
Shoving a hand in my pocket, I turn around and face her. She’s sitting on the sofa, both legs tucked to her side like a refined lady.
Mum was never a refined lady. She was a waitress prior to knowing Dad – and Calvin.
Dad brought her to the upper-middle-class side of the tracks and after that, she cut all contact with her extended family and switched social classes.
Her gaze sweeps over me. “You’ve become a man.”
“No thanks to you,” I say without even thinking about the words. But I guess that’s all I ever wanted to say since that day she abandoned me in the middle of the street and never looked back.
“Xander, listen to me.”
I lean against the counter and fold my arms. “I’m all ears. Let’s hear what brought you back after ghosting for twelve years. Spoiler alert, the address didn’t change.”
She thins her lips. “I see you’ve become fluent in sarcasm.”
“What can I say? Growing up with no mother made me fluent in many things. Like lying, drinking, fighting. You name it.”
“I won’t have you stand there and blame your life choices on me. You have Lewis and his money.”
Is she for real? Is there a way I can reach into my eyes and somehow blind them so I don’t see her face?
For twelve whole years, I’ve wondered what it would be like to see her again. If maybe she’d return and fill the hole Dad was never able to.