Redeemed Love

by M. S. Brannon

  She is one of the people I’m doing this for, and when tomorrow comes, I will be going to prison for an undisclosed amount of time. Matt claims he’s making arrangements for a judge who’s also in his pocket to oversee my case, but that is becoming a tricky card to play, especially now that the DA’s office is getting pressure to take down the drug operation in Sulfur Heights.

  After my phone call, I drive to Cami’s house and pick the lock on her backdoor. I can hear she is in the shower, so I decide to join her. I need a shower. Maybe I can wash away all the filth I’ve been cloaked in for the last several years.

  After stripping my clothes, I pull back the curtain and startle Cami who was about to get out. I don’t say anything; I never do. I only put my body under the water and suffer in silence with the raging thoughts in my head. Then I feel her touch.

  She is rubbing my back, her fingers tracing the scars left from my mother’s torments as well as the wounds suffered from my career in the underworld. Her fingers are grazing each painful memory, and when her kiss touches my skin, my gut sinks to my feet. She is the only person who can see past any of my façades to the real person who’s buried underneath. When she whispers something religious, I have no idea what it means, but the last few words cause me to crumble. Those who believe in Him will have eternal life. To me, this is Cami saying that, no matter what I’ve done in my life, she will always believe in me, and that’s exactly what I need right now.

  My legs give out and I tumble down to my knees. Years upon years of pent up pain, anger, frustration, and self-loathing have come to a head. And right here, in Cami’s arms, I am strong enough to fall apart.

  I bend forward, and with my hands in my head, I weep. I weep for my family, the people I love so much, but couldn’t save. I weep for Presley, whose life was cut short because of my inability to get the job done. And I weep for Cami and all that she’s lost at the hands of this horrible life. The pain is leaking from my eyes, mixing with the hot water and leaving my soul exposed.

  I can feel her against my body. Her chest is pressed against my back and she’s resting her head between my shoulder blades. I can feel her strength as she wraps her arms tightly around my chest and squeezes me. She is my rock.

  We stay on the shower floor for several minutes until I can’t stand it anymore. The feeling of relief is only short-lived before I get pissed. I’m angry once again at myself. Here I am, crying like a fucking baby because I’ve had a rough life, but you know what? I’m not the only one. I’m a goddamn man, and if I don’t get my emotional shit together, I will never survive prison.

  I make a move to stand and begin to quickly and angrily scrub myself. I use Cami’s soap to scour my body raw. I hate myself and I’ve showed my weakness. Evans never give in to weakness. Not now, not ever. I’ve fucked up once again.

  Rinsing quickly, I yank the curtain back and snag a towel from the rack. Once dry, I find my dirty clothes on the floor and start putting them on. However, Cami is on me faster than I expected, standing her ground. She yanks my t-shirt from my hand then pulls it over her soaking wet body. The fabric sticks to her frame, tracing her beautiful, sexy curves. The buds of her nipples are hard and poking against the cotton.

  “Talk to me!” she demands, her hands on her hips. She is angrier than I’ve ever seen her.

  I only stare at her, getting aroused by her attitude. My dick gets hard in my jeans while the beast inside of me wants to make Cami mine all over again. So I step to her in the small space of her bathroom and push her up against the wall, pinning her with my torso. Desire and lust ignite off of me and my target is Cami.

  Her skin is hiding under my t-shirt. It’s damp and warm, and my body is reminded of other places where Cami is damp and warm, places I want to touch and taste. The darker side of me is wide awake and ready for the show.

  As she looks into my eyes, she knows. More importantly, she wants. Everything I have to offer right now, her body wants it—wants me—and I will give it to her. This will be my last interaction with her, and I will make it a lasting one.

  “Say something,” she whispers to me, but I remain quiet. “Jeremy, you have to talk to me. Please, just say something. I want to understand, please.” The tears have bubbled in her eyes, though I choose to ignore them. I ignore everything she’s saying and focus solely on how her body is feeling.

  She goes to speak again as I trail my hand up her body, between her breasts, and then cup her chin in my hand. I gently force her head back so it’s flush with the wall and I glare. I’m completely in my dark place, and I am going to fuck her while I live in that place.

  “Jeremy?” I squeeze her chin in my hand, feeling her whimper. She’s not struggling; she’s trying to understand me. However, there is not enough time to examine my inner thoughts. I am going to prison, and this is the man that needs to survive, to thrive—the beast will keep me alive.

  When she begins to tremble, I know I’m scaring yet exciting her. Cami is attracted to darker things and hides behind her faith to save her from it, but I know how much she likes it when I control her.

  It’s been many months since I claimed her as mine, and now I will possess her one last time. I will leave my mark on her and she will never think of another man again. I will be the only person who will consume her thoughts. That’s how I need to leave her. Just like that.

  I let go of her chin and dominate her with a single look. Cami doesn’t move, either. She is staring at me, incapable of moving and fascinated with the idea of what I might do. I react.

  I quickly yank Cami up, lift her, and push her into the wall. Her legs spread and come around my waist, but I don’t have plans on fucking her just yet. I press her harder into the wall and get my lips dangerously close to hers.

  “I don’t want to talk. I want to fuck, and you’re going to give that to me.” My voice is low and dark, just like my thoughts.

  “No.” She doesn’t break my glare and I’m stunned. No one, and I mean no one, has ever refused me. And I have to say, I don’t like it.

  I cock my head to the side, staring at her with my sinister look. My eyes burrow into hers, and like the daggers they are, I’m trying to stab her with a single solitary look.

  She doesn’t budge, though. Cami only glares right back, refusing to let me go any farther with her. In the next instant, my cell phone rings in my pocket. With Cami still hitched around my waist, I pull it out and answer. “Yeah?”

  “There’s one more clause to our agreement for your freedom,” As Matt’s voice comes through the other end, my body gets beyond tense. “While you’re locked up, there’s to be no contact with anyone. More than likely, you’ll spend time in county before you’re transferred to the state prison in Ionia. Once you’re there, you can send one letter. That’s it. No visitors. No calls to home. Nothing.”

  My gut is wrenched in a thousand different knots. No contact with anyone. I will be on an island of my own, forced to live out the next several years of my life in solitude. How will I explain this to my family? If they don’t disown me, how do I tell them not to visit?

  “Oh, and Jeremy, the black backpack Victor put in your trunk will be responsible for your sentencing. I think it’s a fair amount.” His laugh is nothing other than pure evil as he then chuckles gleefully in my ear.

  The line goes dead and so does my will to keep going. I will be stuck in a state prison with no contact to the outside. I will have to deal with my crimes solely on my own, without any communication with my family or even Cami, so who’s to say I will have anything left once I get out? The amount of heroin and money he has put in the backpack will be the determination for the years I will be required to spend inside. It’s a sick, twisted game Matt’s playing, and it makes me angrier than ever.

  I put my phone back into my pocket and look at Cami. She is still fastened around my waist and I’ve still got her pinned to the wall. We’re close enough that I’m sure she’s heard the conversation, nothing else explains the ghostly look on her fac
e.

  As I look into her eyes, I realize it’s those eyes I will be starved from. This will be the last night I can feel her against my body. The last time I will hold her. And the last time I can save her. But now, it’s not Cami who needs to be saved—it’s me. However, there will be no one who can save me from this. For the next several years, it will be all me. I will have to rescue myself.

  I begin to walk back to her bedroom, keeping my eyes only on hers. I am studying every emotion in her deep brown gaze, cataloging it to memory.

  As I look into her eyes, I realize I don’t want to fuck her like I have fucked every other tramp out there. I don’t want to fuck her at all. I want to love her. I want to worship her body, mind, and soul before the sun comes up and all of what we have will be forever changed. I want to make love to her. I want her to know that, no matter what happens to me inside, I will always love her. It is only Cami. I—it will only ever be Cami.

  The eyes I’ve melted into time and time again will keep me alive in prison. It will be those eyes and my beastly alter ego that will keep me going from one day into the next.

  When we enter her bedroom, I bend down and lay her on the bed, my body cloaking hers. Our eyes are connected, and the feeling in my gut tells me I need to make this memorable before it’s too late.

  I make my lips summon the courage, whispering, “I’ll be lost without you, Cami. I’m not a good man—I don’t deserve anything your heart has to offer—but…” I release a deep breath and touch my forehead to hers, “from the moment I met you, you’ve been everything to me. The night I found you and took you to the hospital, I knew then and there you’d be etched into my being forever.”

  With that said, I lean down and put my lips to hers. We only hold them there. No movement. We hold ourselves connected with only our lips until her arms move up my back and come around to my cheeks. She is holding my face in her hands and holding her lips to mine. Then she pulls me back and her eyes are on fire.

  “I love you. I’ve loved you since I saw you at the races. And you’re wrong,” she kisses my lips again, “there’s a good man inside of you. I have faith in you, Jeremy, and I’ll never give up on that. I believe in everything the real you has to offer. Not the you the life of crime has created.”

  I crash my lips down onto hers and we are lost. I kiss Cami with all the love in my body. This woman evokes feelings I have never felt, and the very thought of her sends my world spinning. She is more than just a friend; Cami is a lifeline, and without her, I’d be dead.

  I sit up on my knees as Cami rips off the t-shirt covering her body and tosses it to the floor. Her caramel skin is still damp from our shower as I take my time once again studying it. I run my eyes across her body, studying her deep, brown eyes; her perfectly lush lips; and round, full breasts.

  I bring my hand to the top of her head, and like a blind man, I gently run my fingertips over her face. My eyes are closed tightly to increase the sense of touch by feeling Cami’s soft skin with my hand. I sweep my fingers over the bridge of her nose, over the apples of her cheeks, and across her lips where the tip of her tongue brushes the pad of my thumb and heightens the experience. I keep my eyes closed as I fight off the inner beast, committing Cami to memory, looking through the eyes of the real me. I want her to remember me like this, not like the forceful, domineering man I morph into when I’m with some other woman.

  I snake my fingers down over her chin, graze her neck, then between Cami’s breast. Her chest is rapidly moving up and down, panting with every breath she takes. I run my fingers under her breasts and cup them in my hands. Slowly, I lean down and get another taste of Cami. I graze my lips gently over the hardened peaks of her nipples, lightly touching them with my tongue before sucking them into my mouth. First one and then the other, I put her nipples in my mouth and lightly tug and pull until she’s moaning.

  I keep up my assault on her breasts until Cami almost orgasms then I pull away and she sucks in a breath. I start to make my way down to her precious body, connecting my tongue to her delicate spot and slowly trailing it between her folds. I taste the sweet flavor that only comes from Cami, and like with her eyes, I retain this very taste to memory. I savor her juices, knowing it will be years before I can be here again.

  I flick her clit with my tongue, quickly—expertly. It only takes moments before Cami is trembling from her rising orgasm. She is quaking under my touch, and I’m shaking just as much, dying to feel her wrapped around me again. It takes one more sweep of her clit until Cami is peaking to the mountain of her pleasure. She shouts my name at the height of her desire and I can feel her entire body shake.

  I keep brushing my tongue against her body until the drunken feeling passes and she comes back down to earth. However, I’ve awoken something in Cami. There is something savage in her eyes and it makes me smile. Cami may have an alter ego as well. I may be stirring up beastly feelings inside of her. The very thought turns me on more than I already am.

  When she pushes me off her body, I fall to the floor. Cami is on me in two seconds, ripping off my jeans and tossing them behind her head. She pushes me flat and places her mouth on my throbbing dick, wrapping her lips around my head before she begins to lightly suck. The feeling inside of me grows instantly as I sit up and watch Cami take my dick into her mouth.

  She works her way down to the base, and just when I think she can’t go any farther, Cami pushes more of me inside her mouth. I can feel the tip of my cock at the back of her throat and then she pops her head up, getting air. She kisses her way down my dick and flicks her tongue across my balls, the feeling highly erotic. I grab onto her as she sucks them into her mouth, just as the building pleasure mounts.

  The moment she fastens her lips around my dick again, I know I can’t stop it and I don’t want to. I feel the back of her throat one more time before I come. Cami sucks my dick in her mouth as I come again and again. I’m now shaking from the onslaught of my orgasm. It’s intense and life changing as I watch her devour every last drop.

  Cami then inches her way up my body, brings her face directly in front of mine, and smiles. She has a radiant smile and it makes her gleam even more. When I grab her face and pull her lips to mine, I kiss her hard and taste myself on her tongue. It doesn’t disgust me; it arouses me. I’ve possessed her again, and this time, it was her mouth.

  I flip her over and settle myself between her legs. I want to make it soft and sensual, but I don’t think I have that in me right now. I don’t think I can make love to her for hours upon hours. My desires are desperate and the clock on my freedom is ticking.

  I grab my cock and sit up on my knees. I want her to remember me. I want her to know what she does to me with a single look, and with my dick in my hand, I show her. I show her just what she does to me by stroking myself and allowing her to watch.

  I move my hand slowly and feel it grow more in my palm. Then, before she can touch me, I lean down and push my dick inside of her. I push into her slowly, executing the moment precisely as she takes me in. I hold myself inside her and close my eyes. This is one more piece I’m cataloging to memory. I’m holding myself here and searing the beautiful sensation Cami bestows on me whenever I feel her from the inside. Then I begin to move.

  I thrust my hips slow and deep. I push myself into her hard and hold it in place. I savor every feeling she gives me. I then pull myself out to regain that feeling all over again. She will be the one thing that will get me through the next several years of my punishment, that will keep me from dying inside and out.

  As I put my lips to her and kiss her with all the love I have for her, I move my hips until I can’t think of anything else. I put myself on a desert island where only Cami and I exist. Everything else melts away. It’s her and me, no one else.

  I break our kiss and trail my lips to her earlobe, sucking it into my mouth. She shivers and then moans from the sensation. When I detach my lips and kiss my way down her neck, under her chin, and up the other side, sucking on that ear, I
feel Cami’s hands on my ass. She is squeezing it, begging me to move faster—begging me to make her come.

  I accept her invitation, taking my face out of her neck. I look at her and see she’s close. I pull my cock out completely and sit up on my knees as I push her legs back as far as they will go, holding her in place with my hands. I look down, seeing her clit is swollen, her breaths are labored, and her pussy is very wet. She’s incredibly close and I want to have a front row seat as I make Cami fall apart in my hands. She’s trying to grab at me to get me inside of her, but I wait for a moment longer. I want her to yearn for it.

  Slowly, I run my hands from the bottom of her ass and trace them up the length of her legs. They are poised in a V shape in the air and the sight is breathtaking. I look down at her body, taking it into memory, then I push myself inside. Cami whimpers as I slowly move once more. I remain on my knees while Cami lies on her back with her legs up in the air. I watch her as she starts to climb her mountain of ecstasy again.

  To add gasoline to the fire, I put my thumb on her clit and massage it. While I thrust in and out of her, I flick her clit. Cami can’t handle the sensation and begins to come. She bucks and thrashes as her body is possessed by pure, unadulterated lust. I savor the moment, and once again, catalog it to memory. This will definitely get me through some hard times.

  When she comes down from her high, I start picking up my pace. I push myself deeper and harder. I move to lie down on her, but her hand stops me.

  I remain on my knees as she whispers, “I want to watch you, too.”

  I wrap my hands around her thighs then jerk her body closer to mine. I then lose all my self-control. I drive and ram my dick inside of her. The building pleasure grows in my stomach and my balls get heavy. I keep my eyes trained on hers, and with a final thrust, I push myself in as deep as I can go before my orgasm rips me apart.