Redeemed Love

by M. S. Brannon

  Now, here I am, sitting in my kitchen, sipping coffee like I would on a Saturday, yet it’s Monday and day one of my very first vacation. I don’t have any plans because I have no money to go anywhere, however I can spend time with Hunter. Maybe go to the park or library, and I can actually have time for myself. I’m still paying daycare, so I might as well take the opportunity to just be by myself for at least some of it. I could take a long bath, watch my mother’s collection of old black and white movies, and eat ice cream by the gallon.

  I turn on the morning radio station and turn it up as “My Medicine” by The Pretty Reckless comes through the speakers. I pull open the fridge and get the eggs out just as my little man comes running into the kitchen.

  “Hi, Mama!” I bend down and scoop him up in my arms.

  I turn down the radio and press a kiss to his cheek. “Good morning, my love. How’d you sleep?”

  “Good. Is today a stay home day?” Hunter’s brow creases inquisitively as he fiddles with the cross around my neck.

  “Yes, today is a Mommy and Hunter day. What would you like to do?” I walk to the table and sit down in the chair.

  His brown hair is tussled from sleep and he looks deep in thought. I wrap my arms around his body and pull him in close for a cuddle. My boy doesn’t do cuddles much, but in the morning, he is more than happy to. The sight of his serious face throws me off for a moment. He looks just like his dad when he is thinking, smiling, laughing, and concentrating. Basically, Hunter looks just like Jeremy, and as cute as he is, the thought scares me. I know if I were to run into any of Jeremy’s brothers, they will recognize him immediately.

  Then I think of Zoe. I wonder if she’s seen Hunter. She knows what Jake looks like, and if she were to get a glimpse of Hunter, she may make the connection. Jeremy’s family doesn’t know I exist, though; so I don’t know if she would or not. Ugh, the thought of dealing with that ordeal hurts my stomach. It would be easy for Zoe to see Hunter. Granted, he and Mia are in different rooms, but that doesn’t mean she hasn’t seen him with his class as they walk in the hallway or out to the playground.

  “I want to go to the park, mama! You know, the one with the twisty slide.” Hunter breaks through my thoughts and looks up at me. He puts his hands on my face and gives my cheeks a little tap. “Can we go?”

  “Of course, baby, but first we need to eat breakfast and clean up your room.”

  Hunter audibly sighs then hops off my lap. “I clean my room.” As he drags himself back to his room with a pouty look on his face, I just laugh and walk to the stove. I begin to make breakfast and forget about anything else other than the fun day I’m going to have with my son. He deserves my undivided attention, and that’s exactly what I will give him.

  ***

  We spend the afternoon at the park, just Hunter and I. We ride on the swings, go down the twisty slide a million times and play tag with some other kids. On the way home, we stop by the grocery store and pick up fixin’s for a barbeque. I dig out our old campfire grill my mother found at the Salvation Army and grill some hotdogs. Then I cut up some fresh fruit and make potato salad. For dessert, Hunter wants his favorite, Rice Krispie treats, and I manage to whip those up before we sit down to eat. The afternoon has been perfect and the evening is even better. Before I tuck Hunter in for the night, we watch a movie and eat popcorn. By the end, he is exhausted and so am I.

  I walk from Hunter’s room and realize I need to clean up the dinner mess. I move into the kitchen and get started, running a sink of water and submerging dishes in the hot, soapy water to soak. Then I start pulling the clean dishes out of the drying rack and stacking them in cupboards. Dishes, it’s something I’ve done since I was a kid and I hate doing them. I wish I could afford a dishwasher. It would make my life so much easier. Except, there are more important repairs my house needs. If I get any extra money, it will go into those repairs and fixing my car.

  While the water is filling the sink, I roll my shoulders and move my head around in circles. My body is tired. I’m looking forward to getting a good night’s sleep for a change.

  I start washing dishes when a sound clanks from outside. My shoulders jump, my stomach sinks, and I’m startled. The sky is dark, making it impossible to see out my kitchen window with the bright kitchen light shining overhead. I hear another noise and panic ensues. I am wide awake now.

  I slowly move away from the sink and look to the back door. Thank God it’s locked. As coolly as possible, I walk through the kitchen and into my bedroom. The room is dark and has a perfect view of the back of my house. I pull back my curtains slightly and see the hood of my Nissan is up. Crap! Someone is trying to steal my damn car. Well, they won’t get very far.

  I continue to stand at the window, trying to get a look at the guy, so I can describe the robber to the police. I step back and snatch my phone off the bedside table. When I come back to the window, my body is rocked to its core. That is no thief under the hood of my car, it’s Jeremy.

  I’ve been working in Jake’s shop for the last three weeks. It’s exactly what I imagined it would be; Jake bossing me around while watching me actually fix the cars. It’s rather hilarious and comfortable. This is what we used to do back in the day, and now that I’m back, Jake can take a back seat while I fix up the vehicles.

  I knew he had a lucrative business when I realized a lot of the business he gets are the patrons who frequent Reggie’s bar, who have the inability to fix their own cars. Most of them are classics, but we do get the new models as well. I’m better with the classics, but I’ve quickly picked up how to repair the newer vehicles and all their computerized shit. Jake is a pretty decent teacher, however he gets a little temperamental once in a while.

  While I was spending time in I-Max, fighting for my life, Delilah’s father put Jake through technical college to become a certified mechanic. My money was supposed to be used to help build our shop, but Delilah’s dad decided to be a silent partner. I’m glad he did. He realized Jake had this dream and helped him to get there. I was a little surprised to learn that Jake and Mr. St James get along so well. When Delilah made her decision to move to Sulfur Heights because of Jake, he gave my brother the benefit of the doubt and the ability to properly support his daughter.

  A while back, when Amos stopped by for a surprise visit, he schooled both of us on a technique for removing a damaged transmission out of an old Chevelle. I remember watching closely as he told me where to apply my wrench, and soon enough, the transmission was out. I remember looking a little impressed at Amos Conklin and liking him even more at that point. He spent a couple hours at the garage, shooting the shit and meeting with Jake regarding my parole requirements. It was a pretty great afternoon, but not like when I saw Darcie for the first time.

  She stopped by with Reggie one afternoon while Jake and I were working under the hood of a 1985 Mustang. Reggie and Jake were engrossed in a conversation about the upcoming football season when I met her in the driveway. She looked beautiful, just as I remembered. Nothing had changed about her, including her attitude. Her black hair was tied up and her green eyes dazzled me as she approached.

  “Hey, Jer.” When Darcie got close to me, she had a big smile on her face, and I returned it with one of my own. Then, in classic Darcie fashion, she hauled off and slugged me in the gut, hard. I gagged and stammered backward, trying to regain the air in my lungs. As I was coughing and choking, Reggie and Jake were laughing their asses off. “That’s for all the shit you’ve put us through the last four years.” I remember thinking I deserved that, but then Darcie punches me again. However, this time I’m prepared for it and tighten my ab muscles. It still stung, though. “That’s for not coming to see me since you’ve gotten home.”

  It’s obvious why I haven’t gone to the house since my return, Drake still lives there. I probably could have gone to The Slab to see Darcie, but I’m reminded of all the people who wanted to know about my life. I didn’t want to mess with the crowd or them bothering my brothers
with a ton of questions.

  After I rubbed my stomach and held my arms out, she fell in close and wrapped her arms around my waist. I am so glad she’s okay and happy.

  “You’re such an asshole, Jer. But I’m glad your home.”

  I laughed at her comment and held her even tighter. The night Grady attacked her, I often say, is the night I fell off the edge and finally allowed my inner beast to make my decisions. I wished I would have taken a step back and really looked at this girl. What Grady did was horrible, yet what she had survived from Robert was a lot worse. And she was able to rise above it all. She could pick herself up from all the tragedies and move forward with her life. If I realized it then, I probably would have never gotten into the life. But like I’ve said before, I don’t have regrets because that means I’d have to regret meeting Cami. And I refuse.

  I take a drive every night after the sun goes down. Mostly, I hit the highway and let the open air blow through my car. Sometimes I will go to Old Miller’s Road and race down the straight away, but mostly, I drive by Cami’s house.

  Thinking of Cami, I wasn’t sure if she still lived in the same house as she did before, but when I saw her mother’s old Nissan parked in the driveway, I knew she hadn’t left. The house looks a little rundown. It could use a coat or two of paint. The screens are ripped and the lawn is mostly weeds. It appears to me that times have been tough for Cami. That gets me thinking.

  If she’s with someone and he makes her happy, then why the fuck hasn’t he taken care of things around the place? Why is she riding the damn bus instead of driving her car?

  Night after night, I’d sit a block down from her house and try to keep myself away. I would talk myself out of it every night, until tonight. My mind got the best of me. I needed to see her. I could feel some of the anger I’ve been trying to erase from my body flood back in. I needed to know who she was with. The very thought kills me, but I have to know.

  So I gather up some tools from the shop and head over to Cami’s house. I’m done watching her life from a distance. I need to see for myself if this asshole is good for her. If he is, then I will walk away and never come back. But I need to witness it with my own eyes. I plan on her coming out, and I hope the dickhead she’s with sees me fixing her car. The inner beast hopes he wants to have words. This is the stupidest thing I’ve done since my release from prison, but I’m not thinking with the rational part of my brain. I am thinking about Cami and being close to her again.

  As I take a deep breath then shut my headlights off, I pull into her driveway and kill the motor. The entire house is dark except the kitchen. I can see Cami washing dishes and looking very tired yet breathtaking. I sit in my car for a moment just looking at her. Her hair is braided down her back and her breasts are poised in her shirt.

  All the feelings I’ve had for Cami come pouring back in. In fact, they’ve never left. I want her more than I’ve wanted anything in my life. She is the better half of me, and I want that half back. I want to feel as whole as possible. Cami is a missing piece of that puzzle, and I want it back more than I can breathe.

  The thunder rolls in the sky as lighting flashes from a distance. The air smells like rain, and soon, it will pour. Quickly, I get out of my car and pull the bag of tools with me. I walk to her car and lift the handle. Locked. I suspected this, so I search through my tools and pull out a small rubber wedge. I put the wedge between the door and frame, making enough space to get the metal jim through the opening. Once the jim is in place, I maneuver it precisely then, with enough force, I press the unlock button on the door. The thump sound indicates her car is open. After I pull the jim out first and then the wedge, I test the door and it opens.

  Leaning forward, I find the hood lever located on the floor next to the seat and lift it. The hood pops open. Just as I get the hood up and my tools settled at my side, the back door opens and Cami is standing on the back steps.

  She looks incredible, wearing a white tank top and cut-off jean shorts. I’m not looking anywhere other than at her tits, though. She has her arms crossed under her breasts, pushing them up. I want to suck on them more than I want to fix her fucking car right now. I remember just how amazing they feel in my mouth.

  “What are you doing here, Jeremy?” she whispers. She quickly pulls the door open then looks back through the window, checking to see if whoever else is in the house doesn’t know she’s out here.

  Once she’s satisfied that her absence hasn’t been noticed, Cami makes her way toward me, the sway in her hips hypnotizing me. I’m lost for a moment in her before I turn my attention back to the car then pull the battery operated work lamp from my bag. I turn it on and hook it to the inside of her hood.

  “What does it look like I’m doing?” I say, a little more rudely than I’ve originally wanted, but I’m frustrated. I’m frustrated with the bulge pressing against my zipper when I study Cami’s every curve and the thought of another man who has claim on her now.

  “Well, you need to leave.” She stops within feet of me and taps her foot on the ground.

  I look up from the car and smirk. The irritation melts away because she’s so fucking sexy when she’s mad. “Go get your keys so I can turn on the car and see what the hell is wrong with it.”

  “Why?” Her questioning infuriates me. She shouldn’t be asking me why; she should be saying thank you. “I didn’t ask you to come here.” She clears her throat and stands taller. “You shouldn’t be here.”

  “I really don’t care what you want, Cami. If you didn’t want me around, maybe you should have left Sulfur Heights like I wanted you to.” I glare at her and she finally recognizes I’m getting angry.

  I let out a couple deep breaths and calm myself down enough to take care of Cami’s car. She rolls her eyes, turns, and then walks into the house, quickly coming back out with a sweater wrapped around her shoulders and her car keys.

  I keep my focus solely on her car and getting it fixed. Or at least, trying to figure out what’s wrong with it. If I start thinking about everything else, I will just get angrier and this damn thing won’t get fixed. Well, not by me anyway.

  “Start it for me.”

  Cami rolls her eyes again and falls into the driver’s seat. She turns the car over and I immediately know what her problem is. The starter is out. It’s an easy fix, and I should have it done in a couple of hours.

  “It looks like your starter is bad. I’m going up to the shop to see if we have a part that works. I’ll be right back.”

  “But, Jeremy—”

  I stop and look at her, effectively cutting off her refusal. The thunder booms over our heads and makes her startle while I just stare at Cami. She wants to tell me to leave and not come back, but I know that’s not how she feels. She wants me and I want her. I want her so bad I can hardly function.

  I wait for a second. I wait for her to say something, but she doesn’t. Therefore, I ignore her silent pleas and get into my car then head to the shop.

  It only takes me a few minutes before I locate a part that will work for her Nissan. In the back of the shop, Jake has an array of inventory stocked for all types of cars. This makes it easier to get the cars fixed quickly because we don’t have to wait for parts to be shipped. Granted, it doesn’t always go that way, but for the most part, it does. I grab the starter and then head back over to her house.

  As I drive there, I wonder if I’ve made a mistake. Should I have left her alone to live her life with her new man? Should I just drop off the part and leave and never return? I’m getting this awful feeling in my gut, telling me my life is about to change tonight. I hope I don’t get in a fight. I really don’t want to be on the run because I will run instead of going back to prison. I will be forced to abandon my family once again if that happens.

  When I pull into her driveway in the same manner as I did before, Cami is sitting on the trunk of her car, waiting for me to return. Getting out of the car, I walk to the front of hers. I don’t say anything to her as she hops d
own and follows me. I’m not sure I can. I don’t know what I want to say. She doesn’t say anything to me, either. I’m not sure she wants to.

  The rain starts to lightly fall as I begin to work on her car. It won’t take long before we’re soaked, but I’m staying until the job is done. I pull out the wrench I need to remove the starter and get busy getting it out of her car. My hands are covered in dirt and grease as Cami stands beside me. She appears to be fuming mad. I can sense her frustration, yet I ignore it.

  I torque the wrench a few more times and pull the faulty starter from her car. I toss it onto the ground, but as I un-wrap the new starter from the box, Cami snatches onto my arm.

  “Are you going to tell me?”

  I look to her and study her brown eyes. I love her eyes. They are round, perfect orbs that tell me what she’s feeling without her speaking. Cami’s eyes have always disclosed her true feelings. She feels the same as me—mixed up yet yearning. We yearn for each other, but we’re not sure if we should.

  “What do you want me to say?” I snap back and turn my body to hers. “I’m fixing your car.”

  We are standing toe to toe, neither of us touching each other. The air surrounding us is charging, ready to electrify us both as the cold rain falls even harder.

  “Why are you here?” While Cami’s hands make fists at her sides, she obviously fights with her emotions as the water glazes over her eyes and threatens to fall. The rain has dampened her hair, and the loose strands are sticking to her cheeks.

  “Why are you here?” I finally get to ask her the question that’s been weighing on my mind since I’ve last seen her. She should have left years ago. The minute I went to prison, Cami should have been gone and never looked back.

  “Because!” she shouts back, as if that’s a real answer. She then turns around and storms her way toward the house.