Redeemed Love

by M. S. Brannon

  I pursue, refusing to let her get away again. I pull her back toward my car, ready to throw her in and kidnap her if I have to. I need answers and my patience is wavering.

  “Tell me why.” I step even closer and put my grease covered hands on her arms. The dirt washes from my skin and imprints on hers. She lets her sweater fall to the ground and immediately begins to shake. The tears have trickled down her cheeks. I keep my eyes fixed to hers, waiting for her to tell me the words I so desperately want to hear.

  “Because, I had to know.” She releases a little sob.

  I move my hands up to her face, smearing the grease and dirt onto her shoulders and cheeks. “You had to know what?” I whisper as I get my head close to hers. I tip it down and press my forehead into hers, much like we were the night I told her good bye. The night I finally told Cami that I love her. We are standing so similar to that. That night kept me going on through all the shit I had to suffer. And I can feel this night having the same effect. It will keep me alive as I survive something else.

  When she lifts her arms and wraps them around my waist, the heat from her touch sears me. “Because I had to know you were okay.” She raises her voice so I can hear her over the rain. “I needed to know you… I couldn’t go anywhere until I knew you made it out alive.”

  The words connect with my heart, my ice-cold heart, and it melts into a puddle at my feet. I awaken to this wonderful woman’s love and touch. She is the rock who has been in my corner and supporting me from the day we met. She knew what I was doing was wrong, but she understood why I was doing it. She never judged; she loved me. If she loved me then, maybe she will love me now. I can’t move on with my life unless I know Cami is going to move on with me.

  “I love you,” I say before I slam my lips into hers and feel the cushion of her love. Cami doesn’t back away, she moves in closer. She pulls on my soaking wet shirt and tugs me as close as she can to her body.

  I awaken. My entire body is instantly alive and ready to claim Cami once again. I pull on the straps of her white shirt and jerk my hand back, snapping the thin material. I grasp the bottom of her shirt and yank it up and off Cami’s chest. Her bare breasts are freed, and I waste no time putting them in my mouth. My carnal, raw lust for Cami is ready to take her with every ounce of my body.

  I suck her nipple into my mouth and lightly bite down on the bud. She lets out a moan as I keep up my assault. Toggling back and forth between her nipples, I suck, tease, and tug Cami into a world of pleasure. Then, like the best music in the world, Cami comes violently. It rips her apart as she screams my name out into the night.

  I pull my lips from her tits and plant them back onto her mouth. I stroke my tongue with hers. I’m falling head over heels because, with each kiss, I am more and more in love with Cami Ryker. She is everything to me, and I want her to be next to me for the rest of our lives. I want Cami to depend on me to take care of her and protect her. I always want her around.

  I want to be sweet and tender with her, but there’s something about Cami that turns me into a maniac. I slide my hands inside of her shorts while keeping my lips attached to hers. When my fingers inch their way down to inside her panties, I can feel she is wet and ready. The pad of my finger finds her clit and I start to massage it, keeping one hand on her sweet spot as I raise the other and hold the back of her neck. I push her into my lips and into my hand.

  While she pants and moans through our kiss, I keep my entire body connected to hers. I can’t handle it anymore; the beast who always lives inside of me awakens. I yank my hand out of her shorts and snap open the button. I squat down, taking her shorts with me.

  Once she is naked, I lift her up and plant Cami on the hood of the Challenger. She looks like a car model splayed out on the metal. The rain is icy cold compared to my hot skin, but it gives a sensation of unimaginable pleasure. I snatch the back of my shirt and pull it over my head and then unfasten my jeans and free my steel hard dick.

  I’m going to claim her once more. I am going to make sure she is mine and stays that way. I will do it first with my body then I will do it again with my heart. She will never have to wonder how I feel about her because I will spend the rest of my life making sure she knows.

  Pulling her body down to the end of my car, I look at her magnificent pussy, wet and waiting for me to penetrate it. I want to taste it, but it’s been so long and my body has other ideas.

  With Cami’s back on the hood of my car, I dig my feet into the concrete to steady myself. I grab my dick, stroking it a couple of times before I push it into her tender flesh. I almost fall to my knees as the sensation of being inside of Cami again overwhelms me. Nothing in my life has ever felt this good, and I don’t think anything ever will. It’s been four years of longing, remembering, and waiting to have the moment be real again. I’ve never thought I would have this moment with Cami after I went to prison. I wanted her to move on. I wanted her to run from Sulfur Heights and never look back, yet she’s still here. She couldn’t leave because she needs me as much as I need her. We are one entity—body, soul, and mind. This is where I’m meant to be.

  I hold myself steady for a moment, feeling Cami’s body encasing mine. Then I begin to trace her skin with my fingertips as I slowly move my body in and out of her. She closes her eyes and revels in my touch.

  “Oh, my God, I’ve missed you so much.” Her voice lingers with the thunder as I give her the pleasure her body craves.

  The grease on my hands finally washes from me and smudges her caramel skin. It marks her flawless body with the blackness I carry inside of mine. I’m washing the darkness out as Cami is cleansing me with her love.

  When she lifts her legs and plants them on my shoulders, I jerk her closer to my body and then lean down, planting my palms flat on the hood of my car. Cami’s body feels so damn good. I need to feel her deeper, so I ram into her hard and fast. It’s not tender; I’m not sure I can ever be tender with a woman. Cami is strong enough to handle anything I send her way, though. She has handled me at my worst. I am certain she can handle this.

  I pump my hips and my balls slap against her ass as I thrust every piece of my energy into her. I can hear her climbing the mountain again, and with two more hard plunges, Cami comes. She starts to shake then drops her legs from my shoulders just as she arches her back off the hood of my car. I sweep her up in my arms and cradle her against me. I won’t let her go again. I will hold her as long as I have breath in my body. I will always be there for her.

  She is shaking and crying onto my shoulder, shivering against my warmth. I pull my head back so I can look into her eyes—he eyes which kept me alive all this time—and I fall head first into her chocolate pools then drown. I will never come up for air as long as I can stay right here in Cami’s eyes.

  “Shhhh… I won’t ever leave you again.” I place a kiss to her quivering lips. “Just get in the car and come with me. I will take care of you.”

  Cami looks sad. She is torn between two separate worlds, but I want her to be in mine. For now, for always, I want her here with me. “I… I… can’t, Jeremy.”

  The rejection burns and ignites my anger. She is naked in my arms yet remaining loyal to another man. She just fucked me on the hood of my car and is still refusing to make her life with me.

  After I set her back down on the car and pull my pants in place, I find my soaking wet shirt and put it on over my head. The material feels like it weighs a hundred pounds as the rain water drips from the threads.

  How could she do this to me? Who am I kidding? I fucking did this to myself. I told her to live and that’s exactly what she did.

  I walk to her car and snatch up my bag of tools. Her fucking boyfriend can finish fixing her car. I’ve got to get out of here.

  Cami quickly dresses, donning her sweater instead of her ruined shirt, and comes to my side. “Where are you going?”

  I lean down and look into her face. “Why does it matter? I won’t bother you anymore.”

  When
I walk to my car and toss the bag into the front seat, she is standing behind me; I can feel her pull against my body. She’s got this invisible rope around my neck, and I will never be free of her.

  I turn to look at her sad face. “Why? Why can’t you come with me?”

  “Because I can’t, Jeremy. My life has changed.” She brushes the raindrops from her forehead and plucks the stray pieces of hair off her face.

  The evilness is alive once again. I’m going to grab her then take her away. I snatch onto her arm and begin to pull just as the light in her bedroom comes on. She loses her breath while my gut gets fueled for a battle.

  I let go of her arm and start to stalk toward the back door. When this fucker comes out, he’s not going to know what hit him until Cami and I are gone.

  “Jeremy, don’t!” Cami is pulling on my arm, begging me to get into my car, but I keep trudging forward.

  I make it to the back steps when I hear a meek, little voice. It’s very faint, yet it’s enough to make my feet freeze. They’re immediately cemented to the ground as I peer through the window and see a little boy looking back at me.

  “Mama?”

  “Mama, where are you?” Hunter is calling as he fumbles his way onto the back porch. I run past Jeremy and through the back door.

  Hunter is standing in the kitchen with fresh tears on his cheeks. “Where were you? The thunder scared me.”

  “I’m sorry, baby. Mommy was just talking to a friend. Are you okay?” I press him into my chest and hold him tightly then pick him up and carry him back into his room. My clothes are soaking wet, and now I need to change him into new, dry pajamas.

  “Where’s your friend, Mama? Can I meet him?” Hunter lifts up his arms so I can take him out of his night shirt and put a clean one on him. Then I slip a clean pair of shorts on him and lift him into his bed. He looks to the picture of Jeremy on his dresser. “Your friend looks like my daddy.”

  My stomach drops to the floor. He saw him. That is not the sight of Jeremy I wanted Hunter to see. Jeremy clearly thought I had another man in my house and was ready to kill him. The look on his face spoke volumes. He was his old, furious self.

  I lean down and try to fend off my anxiety. “Well, maybe you can meet your daddy someday, love. But the man out there is not your daddy. He is a friend of Mommy’s.” I kiss his head and tuck him back in bed. “The storm is over, okay? There’s nothing to be scared of.”

  Hunter nods his head and rolls to his side. I stay next to him for a moment to verify he is settled back in then fly back outside. Jeremy is still standing in the same spot. Shock is masked all over his face. He wants to know who Hunter belongs to; I can tell.

  The rain has stopped, but the chill still lingers in the air as I slowly walk up to him and put my hand on his arm. Jeremy snaps from his trance and connects his eyes to mine. He wants to say something, I can tell, but nothing comes from his mouth. I only hold his hand and squeeze, waiting for him to process this information.

  Finally, he speaks. “Whose kid is that?”

  I clear my throat and prepare myself to disclose my news. The unnerving feelings inside my body consume me as I quiver. I’m going to tell him, however I don’t know if I can survive it if he can’t accept my answer. I will be left with a choice, yet there will be no choice. Hunter will always be with me whether he can accept it or not.

  “That’s my son, Jeremy.”

  His glare snaps to me and I can feel the rage boiling off him. “That’s not what I asked.”

  “Well, the kid has a name—Hunter Jeremy…” I take a deep breath and say his last name, “Evans.”

  He staggers back slightly.

  “That kid is yours, Jeremy.”

  An expression I thought I’d never witness in my lifetime briefly flashes in his eyes when they connect with mine. Fear. He is afraid of what I’ve told him, and I don’t blame him. I was scared when I found out I was pregnant, and I had nine months to get used to it. Jeremy has simply come over to fix my car and ends up finding out he has a three-year-old.

  “I… I have to go.” Jeremy storms past me and quickly gets into his car.

  Before I can open my mouth to say stop, he backs from the driveway and speeds down the street. Jeremy disappears around the block and abandons me once again—abandons us.

  I fall to the ground and let the sheer agony rip me apart. It was the result I’ve feared most. Jeremy has made his choice, and it’s one I was hoping I didn’t have to accept. But I have to now. This is the decision God has made for us, and as hard as it is, I have to acknowledge it.

  I am speeding down a wet street, tearing through the neighborhood, trying to get a grip on what Cami has just told me. Moments ago, I looked into the face of a little boy and found out that boy is my son. I understand life handing me curveballs, but this one was not part of the game. Well, not yet anyway.

  I once thought I’d have a family, but someone like me should not have children. Not with the evil things I’ve done. Besides, my life is too fucked up. I still haven’t seen or spoken to Drake. Nothing can move forward in a positive direction until I see my brother.

  I drive fast through town, heading anywhere other than there. The glare on the road messes with my sight, but right now, everything inside and out is a blur. Nothing is making sense as my life spins wildly out of control. This is something I can’t fix. No matter what way you look at it, you can’t fix a kid. They are there for the long haul.

  I round the corner fast, feeling my back end start to hydroplane. I let go of the wheel and let the water take me to my destiny. I leave my fate up to the water on the road and the direction of my car, like how the tree unearthed my feelings toward my life and how I pursued it; I let the water guide my fate with my kid. It sounds stupid, but what else am I supposed to do? I’m not equipped to deal with this.

  While the car is gliding, I close my eyes, hoping I get slammed into the side by a semi. I can’t be in Cami’s life if I cannot accept I have a son. The car slows to a stop, and opening my eyes, I see the front end of my car is pointing in the direction of the entrance to The Slab.

  I take a deep breath and realize what I need to do. I pull my head out of its trance and drive into the parking lot. I swing around to the back of the building and breathe a sigh of relief that Drake’s Chevelle is not here. I’ve been continuing to avoid him because I still can’t gauge my fury just yet. Or is it fear of what I have to face with Drake? I just don’t know.

  I park in the back next to Reggie’s Camaro then slip through the backdoor. Judging by the parking lot along with the roar of the crowd, the bar is busy. I walk into Reggie’s office and sit down on the couch he has pushed against the wall. Then I start flipping what I should do over and over in my head.

  How am I supposed to react to this? Do I go over to Cami’s and tell her I’m ready to be a father even though I’m not? Do I abandon her the way my father did me and Jake, leaving her to raise our son on her own? After all, she’s been doing it for the last three years.

  I am craving a drink badly. I haven’t wanted a drink in years, but the urge is so apparent right now I cannot think of any other way to suppress my crazy head. I don’t want to think about what’s right and what’s wrong. I simply want to calm my mind’s state for a moment. Hell, this is what the Evans brothers are known for. We get handed a shit deal and numb it with booze. Reggie’s done it before; Jake on many, many occasions; and I’m sure Drake has been a walking drunk for the last four years.

  I stand from the couch and pull open Reggie’s bottom drawer. In the back is a bottle of Glenglassaugh forty-year-old single malt scotch. Distilled and bottle in Scotland, Reggie acquired it when he and Darcie got married in Vegas. The twenty-five hundred dollar bottle only gets better with age and barely has a drop missing.

  I waste no time, pulling it from the drawer and admiring it. Next to his desk is a stack of plastic bar glasses. I pull a cup from the plastic wrapper and unscrew the cap off the scotch.

  The smell
is intoxicating as I put the tip of the bottle to my nose. I miss this. After Reggie’s and my talk many years ago, I have not touched a drop of whiskey. However, I’m looking to fall off that wagon. And fall hard.

  I pour the brown fluid in a glass and put the cap back onto the bottle. I lift the cup to my lips and close my eyes. Tonight, I’ll follow my decision to break my sobriety and get drunk; tomorrow, I will make the choice of whether or not to stay in Cami’s life.

  I take a big breath in and slowly tip the cup up to my mouth. I can feel the liquid graze my lips when the office door bangs open and Reggie comes barging in.

  “What the hell are you doing?” His baritone voice demands attention.

  I freeze mid-drink, the glass still pressed to my lips, waiting to taste the scotch in my mouth. As I look over to Reggie and feel the old, comfortable anger start pumping through my veins, I glare at him. The transformation is starting to take me over as the beast paces inside of me. I breathe deeply in and out, trying my damnedest not to snap on him.

  “Put the glass down, Jeremy. The booze won’t help you calm down.” Reggie slowly moves into the room and approaches me like I’m a man who’s about to jump off the ledge of a fifty story building.

  I’m still holding the cup in my hand and fighting off the anger inside of me. I am fuming. My skin is getting hot. I can feel it about to burst out of me when the thought of Cami being all alone flashes into my mind.

  I stand in Reggie’s office and think about the years she’s been raising my son all by herself. She’s had no one to help her. The immense responsibility solely fell on her shoulders. And like a kick to the gut, my knees give out and I fall into his office chair, completely spent.

  After Reggie comes around the desk and leans against it, he crosses his arms over his chest and looks at me to start explaining. The glass of scotch is still in my hand, resting on the desk. I haven’t drunk it, but I want to.