by Ian Doescher
Shall, in the bargain, like each other less.
MARIANNE
I’ve not forgotten all thou taught’st me, sister.
The very liberties that we enjoy
Empower’d villains like MacTrump to seize
Our stage. No more! The weak Republicons
Will dearly pay for pledging him allegiance.
A blue wave builds! [To protestors:] Remember ye November!
[All cheer.
JUSTINE
Wilt thou be speaking soon?
MARIANNE
—I’m next in line.
JUSTINE
Hast thou thy speech preparèd?
MARIANNE
—In a way—
I plan to march atop those stairs and speak
Whatever hell or heaven put inside me!
JUSTINE
It is thy right.
MARIANNE
—By all the gods, yea, ’tis!
To sin by silence when we should protest
Makes cowards out of men.
JUSTINE
—And women too.
Of course, such is their right—no matter how
Unhealthy or unwise their silence—when
Confronting despotism unrestrain’d.
MARIANNE
O sister dear, I hope thou shalt not chide
Thyself for thy decision not to speak?
JUSTINE
Nay, sister, ne’er. I merely do prefer
To listen. ’Tis, indeed, my liberty.
[A protestor invites Marianne to the dais to speak.
MARIANNE
’Tis now my time to speak. Art thou most sure
That thou wouldst not be thereupon with me?
JUSTINE
Thou mak’st me laugh. I ever am with thee!
Please leave me here to cheer you on. Go, speak!
MARIANNE
If we are separated, call my name.
JUSTINE
Thou worriest too much o’er me. Be gone!
[Justine playfully shoves Marianne toward the balcony. Marianne ascends.
Enter DONNISON and ERICSON.
ERICSON
Ah, here! The people who desire our wall.
DONNISON
Indeed! Start thou the work whilst I survey—
[Donnison turns his head and sees Marianne addressing the crowd.
Good brother, look!
ERICSON
—What is it?
DONNISON
—It is she,
The woman of my dreams, my secret love!
ERICSON
Zounds. Thou art right, my brother! And behold,
There standeth my belovèd ’mongst the mob,
As stalwart as a wall of stone herself!
DONNISON
Snapsooth! This is the moment, patient hunter.
Our search is over! No more messages
Or pesky tweets. Our trophies we have found,
Now let us win them! Thither to thy love
And woo her whilst I watch and wait for mine
To finish speaking.
ERICSON
—O, ’tis happening.
Away I go! Bless us!
DONNISON
—Good fortune, brother!
[Ericson moves through the crowd toward Justine, whose attention remains fixed on Marianne. Once he is close, Ericson clears his throat and stands next to her while Donnison watches from behind.
ERICSON
[to Justine:] Our fates are blessèd, lass.
[Justine does not respond.
Tell me, doth Deb—
MARIANNE
No wall!
JUSTINE
—No wall!
ERICSON
—Indeed! There is no wall.
DONNISON
[from behind:] Keep at it, Ericson! Thou’rt faring well!
ERICSON
[to Justine, louder:] Pray tell, dost thou do DC often, Debbie?
JUSTINE
I beg thy pardon, sirrah, but wouldst thou
Reduce the volume of thy voice? ’Tis loud.
ERICSON
Forgive me. Have I met thee once before?
JUSTINE
Good sir, I cannot say I’ve seen thee ere
Because I know for certain I have not.
ERICSON
O…[To Donnison:] She call’d me “good sir”!
DONNISON
—Press on, Adonis!
ERICSON
[to Justine:] My lady, ’tis a pleasure meeting thee.
My name is Ericson. And you are call’d…?
[Justine turns her head slightly.
JUSTINE
Justine. I’ve heard thy voice before.
ERICSON
—Yea? Where?
JUSTINE
I am not sure. Liv’st thou in Washingtown?
ERICSON
Nay, nay. My family is from New Yorktown.
JUSTINE
Thou mad’st the journey hither for this protest?
ERICSON
In sooth! My brother and I just came south!
JUSTINE
’Tis most commendable.
ERICSON
—My thanks.
DONNISON
—Ha—gold!
ERICSON
Where art thou from?
JUSTINE
—’Tis tricky to pronounce.
A group of islands callèd Ko Phi Phi.
ERICSON
[aghast:] Covfefe?!
JUSTINE
—Nay, thou heard’st wrong: ’tis Ko Phi Phi.
In Siam. ’Tis an archipelago.
ERICSON
A Michelangelo where thou didst live?
JUSTINE
[laughing:] I told thee difficult ’tis to pronounce!
ERICSON
That was most fair of thee! Thou art most just.
JUSTINE
Nay. Fairness isn’t justice.
ERICSON
—Wait. In sooth?
I did not know the two were not the same.
JUSTINE
Few people do.
[Marianne sees Justine and Ericson talking, ends her speech, and descends toward them.
MARIANNE
[aside:] —What is this?
JUSTINE
[shouting to Marianne:] —Brava, sister!
ERICSON
[to Justine:] Are you two siblings?
JUSTINE
—Nay, mere roommates we.
Although she is like family to me.
ERICSON
Before I meet her, prithee know, Justine,
That meeting thee hath giv’n me total joy.
Again, I’m Ericson.
JUSTINE
—Of House MacTrump?
My memory hath caught up to thy voice.
ERICSON
Indeed—’tis me!
JUSTINE
[aside:] —This shall be interesting.
[Marianne storms toward Ericson.
MARIANNE
What art thou doing here? Avaunt, thou snake!
[Marianne pulls Justine away.
JUSTINE
There is no need to quarrel, sister, please.
ERICSON
[to Donnison:] Dear brother, is this good?
DONNISON
—Nay, sans a doubt.
[He leaps forward from his hiding place.
My dears, ’tis well to see you both again!<
br />
MARIANNE
Again? Are you two stalking us? Be gone!
JUSTINE
O sister, please! I was but speaking with
One of them now.
MARIANNE
—Thou art confus’d or mad—
Thou canst not see the things I have in view.
DONNISON
My lady, if I may—
MARIANNE
—Do not presume
To call me aught of thine, thou foolborn twit!
JUSTINE
Nay, Marianne! I may be blind to th’world,
Yet am not deaf to it. I know who these
Men are. They are the issue of MacTrump:
The brothers Ericson and Donnison.
ERICSON
Indeed! ’Tis who we are.
DONNISON
[to Marianne:] —And I love thee!
[The ladies turn to the brothers, shocked.
MARIANNE
Thou…lovest me?
JUSTINE
—Pray, sister, hold thy rage.
[Marianne steps toward Donnison.
MARIANNE
How canst thou say thou lovest me, thou pig?
Thou art a blight upon this wondrous nation!
Thou knowest naught of liberty or justice,
Nor art thou capable of feeling love.
Thy father is the foulest criminal
Our land has seen, and thou his minion foul!
DONNISON
Thy words are false! Most people love our father.
PROTESTOR 1
[pointing to the brothers:] Behold!
[All the protestors look at the brothers.
DONNISON
—See?
We are recogniz’d. [To protestors:] Holla!
PROTESTORS
Booo!
ERICSON
—Donnison, methinks we must depart.
MARIANNE
Yea! Get ye hence at once, vile villains!
[All protestors begin shouting at the brothers.
JUSTINE
[to all:] —Halt!
[All are quiet.
We all were not created equal or
Completely free by birth upon this globe.
I did not choose my blindness any more
Than these two brothers chose their father’s line.
I have no doubt they love their family
With all their hearts, which is their sacred right.
My sister and myself do love ours, too,
Which is why we reject their father’s wall,
His policies, his conduct, and the way
He doth mistreat his countrymen and -women.
This is their father’s fault, not all their own.
MARIANNE
Justine, thou dost forget whom thou defend’st.
[Aside:] McTweet!
Enter MCTWEET.
MCTWEET
—Thou rang’st, my mistress?
MARIANNE
—Do a search
For missives with the most revolting words
These brothers shar’d: each hateful jab they threw,
Each immigrant they slander’d woefully,
Each cat endanger’d that they slew and skinn’d.
MCTWEET
I shall!
[McTweet holds up a picture of the brothers alongside animals they hunted.
PROTESTORS
—Booo!
DONNISON
—Soft you now, the cat was deadly!
JUSTINE
Dear bird, please read the elder brother’s words
When he comparèd sweets to refugees.
MCTWEET
At thy request.
[McTweet pulls out a scrap of paper and begins reading from it.
—“This image sayeth all.
Cease with politic’lly correct agendas
That do not put th’United Fiefdoms first.”
The picture shows a bowl of rainbow sweets,
And reads: “If I’d a bowl of skittl’d candies
And told thee three would kill thee on the spot,
Wouldst take a handful? ’Tis Assyria’s
Great problem with their wicked refugees.
O, make America most great again!”
[McTweet puts his paper down.
Shall I display the refugees they fear’d?
JUSTINE
’Twill not be necessary. Thou mayst go.
[McTweet bows and exits.
[To the brothers:] Hear ye: opinions and beliefs are form’d,
The heart enlarg’d, the human mind develop’d,
By our reciprocal effect upon
Each other. Your opinions were, I’ll warrant,
Inspir’d and shap’d by your love for your father.
Yet there’s a danger in those who would shut
Themselves in their own heart’s dark solitude—
You close yourself unto the world around
So much that you contribute to its ruin.
Your love is poisoning the minds of those
Who turn to you for wisdom and for guidance.
Such is the love you forc’d upon our world,
Which is a love that I, and my dear sister,
And all those present have no wish to share.
PROTESTORS
Boo-urns! No wall! No wall!
ERICSON
—Nay!
DONNISON
—We have fail’d.
O, sorrow! Let us flee.
ERICSON
—Anon.
MARIANNE
—Not yet!
Before you fly unto your iv’ry tow’r,
May I suggest a way you may employ
The precious liberty you do enjoy?
Use your positions in your family—
Which are undemocratic, yea, but potent—
To make your reparations most sincere
To ev’ryone whom you did e’er insult;
Atone for failures and for wicked deeds,
Make plain—unto your father’s followers,
Unto your fellow citizens, e’en to
MacMueller—all the pain you propagated.
DONNISON
If I do this, then wilt thou love me?
MARIANNE
—Nay!
[Donnison sobs.
JUSTINE
Love is not won by crossing off a list.
However, it shall demonstrate to all
That ye shall both defend our liberty
And do possess the needed wisdom, courage,
And temper’ment to heed the call of justice.
ERICSON
Thy words sound passing hard! My father is
A wondrous man, exemplar in the height.
JUSTINE
’Tis ye, then, who are blind.
DONNISON
—Yet we would have ye—
No finer heads could hang upon our walls!
MARIANNE
We are no trophies to be won, you brutes!
JUSTINE
Come, Marianne, let us vote with our feet.
[Exeunt Justine and Marianne, with protestors.
ERICSON
O, brother, we have fail’d! Let us to Father
And tell him of what we have seen today.
DONNISON
He shall be proud we built his wall for him.
ERICSON
I built his wall.
DONNISON
—Whatever, it is thirsty work,
When we get home, let’s call up Brovanaugh
To come and drink a pack of beers with us.
Methinks we still shall find another way
To win the bleeding hearts of these two ladies!
ERICSON
Thou thinkest so? They seem’d most resolute.
DONNISON
They are but ladies—therefore changeable.
ERICSON
Hurrah!
DONNISON
—Unto the White Hold, let us ride—
Full gallop, with our newfound hope beside!
[Exeunt.
SCENE 5.
The White Hold. Night.
Enter LADY KELLEYANNE BOLEYN, LADY SARAH PUCKABEE, and DOCTOR PINO ENOS.
ENOS
Why must you ladies summon me so late?
My license, for to practice medicine,
Turns to a pumpkin at the stroke of midnight.
Thereafter, I am not allow’d within
Three hundred paces of a human body.
KELLEYANNE
All’s plusgood, Doctor. Doubleplusgood, yea!
We merely doublethink the evening staff
May benefit from thy fullwise opinion
Upon the double-doubleplusgood state
Of our Lady MacTrump’s goodthinkingness.
ENOS
Ma’am, I have no idea what thou hast said.
PUCKABEE
She sayeth that we need thy help, good doctor,
And if thou dost not mind me speaking bluntly,
Methinks thou art far better company
Amid the daylight hours, and far less rude.
ENOS
’Tis certain, for the daytime’s when I work;
When it is night, I spend my time asleep.
Why have ye brought me hither, ladies? Why?
[Puckabee and Kelleyanne trade anxious glances.
PUCKABEE
Aught is awry with our Lady MacTrump,
And no one in the manor can say what.
KELLEYANNE
The last I saw, her physical appearance
Suggested naught to kindle my concern.
She eats and does the modest chores she’s giv’n.
PUCKABEE
She just, well…
KELLEYANNE
—She’s just well.
PUCKABEE
—Nay, she is not.
She wanders half the night, with bureaus speaking.
KELLEYANNE
This morning, she address’d the cabinet.
ENOS
How is’t a problem?
PUCKABEE
[pointing to a piece of furniture:] —’Twas this cabinet.
ENOS
Ah. ’Tis surprising.
KELLEYANNE
—And confusing, Doctor.
She speaks to teacups, paintings, chandeliers,
And takes her lunches with a shrubbery.
KELLEYANNE
What shall we do?
ENOS