The Beast Within

by S. C. Stephens

  “Your father will make sure she’s fine,” she answered, her hands firmly on our backs.

  I looked over my shoulder at Mom; the white gloves up her arms were smeared with blood now. “What if she wakes up? She’ll panic, and she’ll be with strangers.” I started turning away. “She needs me.”

  Mom adjusted my position. “Hunter will calm her down.”

  When we got to the doors, Nika shook her head. “Hunter can’t handle this yet. He needs me there for support.”

  I twisted my head to her. “How are you going to support him? Slap his wrist when he starts biting the nurses?”

  “He’s not going to—”

  Mom pushed us both forward, cutting off Nika’s objection. “Enough! Your father will keep Hunter in line, and Hunter will calm Raquel. The two of them can handle this. The two of you being there will only make it worse.”

  There was an awkward silence in the car on the drive home. Nika was irritated, I was irritated, even Mom seemed upset. I picked up one of the bloody arrows that Nika had tossed on the floor in the back. I hoped Raquel was okay. How the heck was Hunter going to explain away her injuries? He had to tell Raquel something. Her parents would have to be told something as well. I hated leaving without knowing those answers. I felt like I didn’t have any answers about what had happened tonight. Just questions. And disappointment. And anger. Tonight just royally sucked.

  I stormed to my room the minute we got home. I didn’t want to talk to Mom or Nika. I wanted to talk to Raquel or Arianna. Pulling my phone from my jacket pocket, I debated calling Arianna. What would I say? How could I make up for this disastrous evening?

  Sighing, I put the phone on my dresser and laid down on my bed. My head was spinning, and if I talked to her now, I’d probably screw up and say something stupid. No, I would wait, talk to her tomorrow. Maybe, by then, some of my anger would have faded away.

  WHILE I FELT my brother fuming next door, I paced my bedroom. We were feeling the same edgy, antsy emotion, just for entirely different reasons. Julian wanted to know if Raquel was okay, I wanted to know if Hunter was okay, but both of us were stuck here with no answers. It was beyond frustrating.

  Julian was also angry because of Hunter. I understood why, but it was still aggravating. Hunter wasn’t to blame for what happened tonight. It wasn’t his fault that Raquel had been hurt and used as bait. He couldn’t have controlled that any more than we could have controlled it. Julian needed to back off.

  I thought about sitting down and trying to have a serious, grown-up conversation with Julian about Hunter. That was what Dad would have done. But Julian’s mood made it difficult to approach him. I just didn’t want to deal with him right now. Walking into our mutual bathroom, I closed the door on his side. I didn’t feel like looking at him right now either.

  His bad mood surged higher. As I washed my face, I couldn’t help but think about how excited and nervous Julian had been for tonight. My frustration and annoyance slipped some as I patted my skin dry. Julian had been hoping to share something truly intimate with Arianna, and instead he’d carried an unconscious woman to the hospital.

  After I was finished, I whispered, “I’m sorry.” As I left the bathroom and closed the door on my side, he sighed in answer, but his mood calmed.

  Quickly changing my clothes, I crawled into bed. Sleep was impossible, and I stared up at my ceiling, waiting. Dad had to come home eventually, and when he did, I’d be able to find out if Hunter was okay. If Raquel was okay.

  When I opened my eyes some time later, I hadn’t even realized I’d closed them. Everything was dark and silent, and I knew before I looked at the clock that it was the middle of the night. Dad’s presence was safely tucked in his room. Sitting up, I silently cursed. Damn it. I’d fallen asleep and missed my chance to interrogate my father.

  Since I was up, I took a half-second to locate the others. Halina was still in the city, but nowhere near the house. Hunter though…

  My head snapped to the window just as a pair of legs walked in front of the ledge, and a body ducked down in front of the glass. My eyes widened at seeing the low glow of Hunter’s eyes staring at me through the windowpane. Tossing my blankets aside, I rushed to open the window and let him in.

  He looked awful as he stepped into my room. He still had the weariness of someone who was moments away from dropping of exhaustion, but now, on top of that, he was wearing the expression of someone who was on the verge of an emotional collapse. Even before he spoke, I knew Hunter was at a breaking point.

  “Nika,” he said again, his voice cracking. “I can’t…”

  His hand came up to cover his mouth, and he stopped talking. Not knowing what else to do for him, I led him to the bed and urged him to sit down. When he did, he leaned over his knees and dropped his head into his hands. Reaching my hand under his jacket, I rubbed small circles over the T-shirt chilled by the coolness of his skin.

  “What’s wrong?” I whispered. Without including what had happened tonight, there could have been a half-dozen things bothering him.

  Hunter shook his head in his hands. “I…I knew those men…” When he looked up at me, his eyes were ringed in red. “The hunters…the ones who shot Halina…and me. I knew them.” He swallowed a knot in his throat before he continued. “My father worked with them all the time. Brett, I didn’t know very well, but Sam was like a second father to my sister and me…and he tried to kill me.”

  Hunter stared at the ground while I said the only thing I could think to say. “I’m so sorry.”

  “I’d known Sam my entire life, and he didn’t even give me a chance. He said I was an abomination, a monster…evil. He said for the safety of humanity, I needed to die.” Pressing his lips together in a firm line, Hunter returned his eyes to mine. “And the weird thing is, up until he said it, I agreed with him. But…the way he looked at me…he just assumed I’d been out slaughtering people. And I have tried so hard.” The words caught in his throat, and he had to stop speaking. When he continued, his voice was shaking. “I have done everything in my power to not hurt anyone, to not hurt anything. I’ve gone weeks at a time without blood. I’m so hungry, sometimes I can’t even see straight. And I’m so tired. I feel like every move I make takes so much effort. I’ve been trying so hard to remain who I was before…and it didn’t even matter to Sam. I had to die simply because of what I was. What I’d done, or hadn’t done, didn’t matter to him.”

  I didn’t know what to say to that. This had been a point of contention in Hunter’s and my relationship. He couldn’t see past the species, to the person beneath it. In silent support, I grabbed his hand and squeezed it.

  Hunter’s eyes softened as he watched me. “I understand now how wrong I’ve been about your kind. About…our…kind. And I think that hurts more than anything else.”

  I scrunched my brows. “What do you mean?”

  Hunter’s gaze returned to the floor. “I was the same as Sam. I killed vampires without hesitation, simply because they were vampires.” He looked back up at me, pain in his eyes. “How many did I kill that didn’t deserve to die? How many strangers did I pass judgment on? I have so much blood on my hands, Nika… How could you ever love someone like me?”

  My free hand went up to cup his stubbled, exhausted cheek. “How could I not love you?”

  Hunter’s forehead compressed with tension. “I killed him. Sam, the man who was as much a father to me as my own, I’m the one who ended his life.” He lifted a brow. “Still love me?”

  I knew he was goading me, trying to lead me into some sort of admission that he was a bad person. I didn’t respond to his question. Instead, I asked my own. “What happened tonight?”

  Hunter ran a hand down his face. When his fingers brushed over mine on his cheek, he paused his hand. Our temperatures were opposite—fire and ice—but somehow it was a complementary difference. We soothed each other.

  When Hunter was ready, he opened up about his traumatic evening. His low voice rumbled around
the room. “Halina, Teren, and I…we hunted them. I’ve hunted vampires before, but that was the first time I’d ever hunted a human. It…appealed to something in me. It excited me…and disgusted me. I didn’t know what we were going to do once we found them, but it was never my intention to kill them.” He looked over at me, his eyes begging for understanding and forgiveness. “I swear.”

  I nodded, encouraging him to continue. He stroked the back of my hand with his thumb, then pulled our hands into his lap. “Halina and Teren took off one way, I went the other. I smelled Sam first, then I heard his heartbeat. It was pumping so fast, like he knew I was coming for him. You get one chance to surprise a vampire, and he’d blown his. He missed my heart.” Shaking his head, he peeked up at me. “Missing is a death sentence in our line of work.” He frowned. “In my old line of work.”

  I gave him a sad smile, and his eyes got a faraway look. “Sam didn’t hear me coming. He was prepping for one last shot.” His gaze refocused on me. “He’d spotted where you were hiding in the trees. He was going to shoot you. I acted before I even realized who he was…”

  My eyes widened. I hadn’t realized I’d been that close to being shot again. Absentmindedly, I pulled a hand away and scratched the scar on my shoulder that suddenly itched. Hunter’s eyes followed my fingers as he continued his confession. “I yanked him backward. He recovered fast, trained the crossbow on me, but I was faster. I grabbed it before he could fire… I turned it on him.” His eyes met mine again. “That was when I recognized him.”

  Hunter’s hand in mine hardened into a fist. “I asked him what he was doing—why he was here. He told me I was a monster, and I needed to be put down. He said he was just doing his job.” Hunter’s eyes reddened. “I was going to let him go. I was going to wipe his mind and send him on his way. I even lowered the bow.” Hunter sniffed back the emotions swirling within him. “Then he told me that…my father sent him here.”

  Hunter’s jaw trembled. His obvious pain made my eyes water in sympathy. “My father sent him to kill me. He couldn’t stomach doing it himself…so he sent his friend to finish me off.” He turned his head and ceaselessly scanned my room like every object he looked at burned his eyes if he stared at it for too long.

  I could feel him hovering on the precipice of falling apart, and I wrapped my arms around his shoulders. “I’m so sorry, Hunter.” I couldn’t even imagine the pain of having your own family wanting you dead.

  Hunter sniffed again, and I heard a thick, tension-filled knot travel down his throat. “He tried to kill me. My dad tried to kill me. I was so… I couldn’t deal. I was stunned stupid. That was when Sam threw a knife at me. I barely caught it in time. I didn’t catch the second one. He got me in the side, and I fell to my knees. The knife was silver, like the arrows…it felt like acid ripping my insides apart, but I couldn’t pull it out because he lunged at me. He tackled me, driving the knife in deeper. Then he pulled the first knife out of my hand. He was going to jam it in my chest. I didn’t have a choice. I still had the crossbow. I raised it, shot him in the gut. And when he fell back, I pulled the knife out of my side and staked him in the heart with it…like he was the monster.” He dropped his head into his hands. “Jesus, Nika…what did I do?”

  As tears flowed down my cheeks, I squeezed him as tightly as I could. “You defended yourself. You defended me. You didn’t do anything wrong.”

  Hunter nodded but didn’t lift his head from his hands. Long minutes passed before he looked up at me. When he did, his eyes were clearer, but his pain was still evident. “Can I stay with you tonight?” he whispered. “I just…want to be near you.”

  I looked outside, to where I could sense Halina’s presence. She’d come closer, but she was staying a respectful distance away. “What about Grandma?” There was a hint of jealousy in my tone. I hated that it was there, but there was no denying the connection between Halina and Hunter. She would always have something with him that I couldn’t have.

  Hunter’s cold fingers came up to touch my chin, retuning my eyes to his. “I’m drawn to her because of the bond, but she’s not the one who gives me peace.”

  The jealousy immediately faded as I stared into his dark eyes. A different emotion surged through me, and the bed we were sitting on suddenly felt like red-hot cinders smoldering under my body. “Yes, you can stay.” I knew no one else could hear me, but I still barely breathed the words.

  I pulled back the covers while Hunter took off his shoes and jacket. Looking at his clothes, he whispered, “I’m filthy.”

  I knew there was no way I could sleep beside him if he was half-naked, so I ducked into my brother’s room and rifled through his clothes to find a shirt and some sweats. Julian was tangled in his sheets, blissfully snoring away. I prayed he stayed that way for a while. I gave the clothes to Hunter when I popped back into my room. As I slipped into bed, I heard him undressing. It took everything in me to not turn and watch.

  “Do the clothes fit okay?” My voice came out tight, and I cleared my throat.

  “Yeah. A little small, but they’ll work for now.” The mattress compressed beside me, and my heart started racing. “Thank you for doing this,” he said as he rested a cool hand on my hip.

  I let out a low exhale before turning to face him; my heart was thudding against my ribcage. God, why couldn’t I slow the stupid thing down? “I would do anything for you. You know that, don’t you?” I slid closer so that our bodies were only an inch apart. I could almost feel the chill radiating from him. Timidly, I put a hand on his chest.

  In the darkness of my bed, Hunter’s glowing eyes unblinkingly stared at me as we faced each other. My heart finally started to slow as his gaze lulled me into peace. Even though he couldn’t compel me, I would do anything he asked of me. Hunter broke the connection by looking down. “I know. I don’t know why…but I know.”

  Closing the distance between our bodies, I curled my leg around his and buried my head in his shoulder. “Because I love you, that’s why.”

  He exhaled in contentment as my heat seeped into him. His hand on my hip ran up my back, and he kissed my hair as he pulled me against him. “I…I love you too. I’m going to be better. I’m going to be stronger, healthier. I don’t know how I’m going to stomach eating, but I will never let hunger get the best of me again. I will never attack a human again.” His voice was strong with conviction and determination.

  I smiled into his skin as I kissed his neck. “I’ll help you…if you’ll let me.” I pulled back to look at him. “Will you let me?”

  His hypnotizing eyes drank me in for a minute, then he nodded, and lowered his lips to mine. Our kiss was slow and easy for several minutes. It felt completely natural to have him in my bed with me, like this was where he belonged. When I ran my hand up his back, he rumbled, “Your heat…is so incredible.”

  Pushing him to his back, I laid my body down on top of his, giving him as much of my heat as possible. A shiver ran through me, but I didn’t care. Returning my lips to his, I murmured, “Is that why you like me? Because I’m warm?”

  He laughed, and my heart nearly tore open. It had been forever since I’d heard him laugh. His arms wrapped around my torso. “Yes, that’s exactly why.” He sighed between our tender kisses. “But your warmth has nothing to do with your temperature.”

  I pulled back to stare down at him. There was love in his eyes, and desire. As our bodies laid flush together, I felt that desire in other places on him. It grew in me too. I tried to be rational, to remember that he was going through a lot of changes, and advancing our relationship now probably wasn’t the best idea, but it was hard to hold onto that logic when he was staring at me with those tranquil but burning eyes. Especially when I also knew that everyone in the house was either asleep, or behind soundproof doors.

  Wondering what he was ready for, I experimentally rocked my hips against his. He sucked in a breath while I contained a groan; he felt so good beneath me. This was right. I knew it was.

  I pressed
my hips against him again, harder. I couldn’t contain my groan that time. Hunter either. But instead of ravishing me, his hands slid down to my hips, and he shifted me off him. “Stop, Nika. That’s not why I came here.”

  Bringing one leg back to curl around his, I sighed in disappointment. Hunter smiled and tucked a strand of hair behind my ear. “I just don’t have the energy for that yet.” The humor in his eyes shifted to seriousness. “And you’re still too young.”

  I shook my head at him. “You’re seriously still going to turn me away because of my age?” Smiling, I added, “See, becoming a vampire hasn’t changed you at all.”

  He laughed again. “Maybe. I just…I’m not ready to go there yet.” He lifted an eyebrow. “Let me get past the fact that your heartbeat is driving me insane first, before we start in on your body, okay?”

  I smirked at him, then cuddled into his side, content with snuggling. For now. As sleep drifted over me, I mumbled, “I’m sorry your father did that to you, Hunter.”

  I thought I heard him say, “Thank you,” before I succumbed to the darkness.

  I WASN’T SURE how I’d ended up here, in Nika’s bed. I could tell from her stillness and the light, gentle thudding of her heartbeat that she was sleeping. I should leave, let her get her rest. But her body was so warm tangled with mine, and I couldn’t quite make myself move. For the first time in a long time, I felt at peace, and I didn’t know how much longer that feeling was going to last. It was certainly a far cry from earlier in the evening.

  Smiling, I kissed her hair and remembered the heated look in her eyes when our quiet moment had turned toward the intimate side. Lately, that always seemed to happen around her. Turning away from her body was almost as hard as turning away from her blood. I didn’t know if she was doing it intentionally, but she was driving me absolutely crazy, in several different ways. Between her heart, her blood, and her body, I swear I was slowly being torn apart with all the various ways I wanted her. But she was healing me too. I wanted to be a better man for her, a man who didn’t attack unconscious teenage girls. Not my finest hour.