One Complicated Christmas

by Ciara Knight

  The door flew open from the dining room. Frank strutted into my kitchen. Behind him was a young girl with wide eyes.

  I didn’t want to talk to the man if I didn’t have to, so I stepped behind the wine racks.

  “At the first of the year, you’ll be taking over this kitchen.”

  His words shot through me with the heat of a convection oven on five hundred degrees.

  “The meal plans will be delivered to you monthly, and you’ll have two assistants to get the food out as quickly as possible.”

  Meal plans? Quick?

  “Now, you’ll need to keep this to yourself until after the holidays. We can’t afford to let the diva chef know that she’ll be out of a job with the event coming up, not when she’s sleeping with the client.”

  I wanted to jump out and pound him on the chest and scream that he was a liar, but I didn’t move. I only remained in the shadows.

  “For now, you can work in housekeeping.” Frank ushered her toward the door. “I appreciate you coming in so early, but I needed to show you the kitchen before Ms. Diva arrived.”

  My heart raced so fast I saw dots in my vision. I retreated to my office and fell into my desk chair, unable to stand any longer. The man had done it. He’d convinced the owners they could replace me.

  My job, my dream job, was over.

  Chapter 15

  I threw the ball for Souffle, who raced across the snowy field and returned to my side to drop it once more at my feet. Seth took a call and paced along the tree line, keeping one eye on what he referred to as “his girls.”—a term I didn’t protest. Perhaps a little fantasy would calm my pulse, which still raced. I couldn’t understand how Frank had convinced Mr. and Mrs. Sherman that I should be replaced. I’d only met them a few times, but they had always commended me on my food. I hadn’t even seen them yet this season, since they spent most of the summer at their other place in Lake Michigan with their children and grandchildren.

  Souffle bounded back and dropped the ball at my feet, so I threw it again.

  Frank’s words about my relationship with Seth tumbled over me. Is that what he made the Shermans think, that I was conducting myself in an inappropriate way that made the lodge look bad? It was the only thing that made sense to me. Thank goodness no one knew about my indiscretion after high school. Then I wouldn’t be able to fight to keep my job. But I would fight. I needed to go to the Shermans and talk to them in person.

  Seth trotted over to us, sliding his phone into his pants pocket. “Sorry about that. It won’t happen again.”

  “You need to work. I know you’re trying to prove to me that you can do your job here and that it won’t distract you from me, but it isn’t necessary.”

  “I told you, I’ve changed. It isn’t all about business anymore. There’s more to life than running a company, profit, stockholders, and deals.” He snagged the ball from Souffle, who danced around in circles waiting for him to throw another long one, and he didn’t disappoint.

  “It’s not that. You have to work; everyone has to work. I’m not some girl who needs constant attention.”

  “If you want to get back to your kitchen instead of going to lunch, you won’t hurt my feelings.”

  “I’m saying you don’t have to prove you can work here since you don’t need to stay here past Christmas to prove anything to me.”

  His smile faded like a passing leaf in a fall breeze. “I don’t understand.” Souffle dropped the ball at his feet once more, but he didn’t move. “If you’re still worried that I’ll have issues with giving up my life in LA, you can relax. I’ve already put my condo on the market. You can trust me. I won’t leave.”

  I toed the snow, but I didn’t want to tell him what was going on in fear he’d make things worse. “Listen, it’s not that. It’s just that I need to cancel this morning. There’s something I need to take care of, if you don’t mind.”

  His face muscles relaxed, and he smiled. “Sure, no problem. I need to make some calls to check on the gifts for the orphans. My assistant said she wasn’t getting anywhere with the shipping company, so it’s up to me to track down the order.”

  A howl of wind whistled between the cottages, making Souffle bark. “Sorry, girl. We’ll need to wait until later to take that hike I promised you.”

  “Actually, I’m going to head over to a house to discuss something. The residents there love dogs. I’ll take her with me.”

  “Really?” He took a step back and slid his gaze up and down the length of me. “Who are you, and what have you done with my Em?”

  My Em. That sounded nice, but not when being with him would mean the destruction of my reputation that I’d worked so hard to keep all these years.

  “Great. I’ll meet you at your cabin in an hour to get Souffle.” Seth took off for the lodge with his phone already to his ear.

  “Come on, girl. Let’s go for a walk.” I took her by the leash and trudged down to the creek and across the footbridge to the Sherman place. They usually arrived this time of year, but I hadn’t seen them in town or at the lodge yet.

  The massive green shutters on the stone front of the house were open, so that was a good sign. I’d always loved this place, even dreamed of owning it someday, but it wasn’t a place I’d ever be able to afford.

  I went to the front door and rang the bell. It buzzed, and I heard footsteps. My nerves kicked up, but I took a few quick breaths to calm myself. I needed to fight for my job, my reputation. Certainly, if the Shermans were misinformed, they would listen to reason.

  The door creaked open to a woman dressed in a suit, hair in a French twist. “The open house doesn’t begin for another hour, but if you want, you can wait in the study.”

  “I’m sorry. Open house?”

  “Are you not here to view the home?” she asked.

  “No, I’m here to visit the Shermans. I’m Emma Winters, the chef at Pine Tree Lodge.”

  Souffle stepped toward her, but she pushed the door half closed. “They don’t live here anymore.”

  I tugged Souffle to my side. “They’re selling this home?”

  “Yes.” The woman eyed the driveway. “If you don’t mind, I need to get ready.”

  “Of course. Sorry.” I hesitated, hoping, praying she could provide more information. “One more thing… Do you know if they still own the Pine Tree Lodge?”

  “I’m sorry. I wouldn’t know.” The door shut, and I knew there would be no more information to be found here.

  My feet were like boulders shuffling up the hill until I reached the crest. Thanks to Souffle tugging me all the way, I didn’t get to sit down and cry.

  When I reached my cabin, Seth sat on the front steps waiting. “Hi, girls.” He scratched under Souffle’s chin. “How’d it go?”

  “Not so good. The Shermans are selling their beautiful home.” I collapsed beside Seth.

  He took the ball from me, unhooked Souffle’s leash, and threw the ball for her. The dog never tired. “That beautiful place you showed me last year? The one that your eyes lit up when you looked at it?”

  “Yep, that’s the one.”

  “Do you know why they’re selling?” Seth asked. “Aren’t they the owners of this lodge?”

  “Yes, at least I think they still are.” I dropped my face into my hands, but I didn’t cry. Crying meant I had admitted defeat. “All I know is that I’m going to be fired.”

  “What? That can’t be…” He said it with such authority I almost believed him.

  I dropped my hands and looked toward the roofline of the lodge. My home. “When you left this morning, I overheard Frank in the kitchen.”

  “What did that fool do?” He rubbed my back, coaxing the truth out of me.

  “I can’t tell you. Not unless you promise not to do anything. This is my fight, and you defending me or swooping in to save the day will just make things worse.”

  “What did that man do?”

  “Promise.” I gave him my best, you-better-not-lie-to-me stare.<
br />
  “Okay, spill it.” He threw the ball once more, but Souffle hesitated, her sweet eyes transfixed on me. “It’s okay, girl. I got her.”

  Souffle apparently trusted Seth’s words and took off once more. “Tell me why you think you’re being fired.”

  I inhaled and forced the bitter, nasty words from my mouth. “He told some girl he was giving a tour of my kitchen to that I’d be replaced after this event. That he couldn’t replace me now because I was sleeping with the client.”

  “What?” His muscles tightened like a charging bull.

  I snagged his arm. “You promised.”

  “Fine, but this won’t happen. You won’t lose your job here.”

  “How can I fight for my job if I don’t know how to talk to the owners? Heck, I’m not even sure if the Shermans are still the owners at all.”

  He fisted and released his fingers twice. “Listen, I can fix this. I know I can.”

  “No. I’ve worked too hard for my reputation. You going to my defense will only make things worse. I’ll figure out who the owners are, and I’ll speak to them myself. I just need to figure out how to do that.”

  “Can I at least help with that?” he asked, and I could see pain in his tight jaw and the way he looked at the snow as if he were going to blast it with laser vision.

  I leaned my head on his shoulders. “Okay, but only to confirm if the Shermans still own it or who the new owners are. I’ll do the rest.”

  “Deal.” He leaned his head into mine, and we both watched Souffle run circles around a tree. “It won’t happen, but what would you do if you did lose your job here?”

  I shrugged. “I’m not sure.” And I didn’t know. The only plans I had were going to the beach after Christmas. My first outing off the mountains of Montana in years. “I guess I can’t hide here anymore.”

  He sat up and took my face in his hands. “Listen, it might not be here, but you can be a chef wherever you want to be. If you don’t want LA, NYC, Paris, or Milan, then go to Christmas Mountain or somewhere else that makes you happy. If it has Internet, I can work there.”

  “Stop. No.” I pushed from him, realizing he meant what he said. He was really going to give up his entire life to be with me.

  “What?” He wrapped his arms around me, clasping his hands together in front of me. “Tell me. Whatever it is, I promise, I won’t disappear on you again.”

  I turned to face him. “I feel so safe in your arms. Your promises are the only light I can see right now with my world crumbling around me. But just because something feels good doesn’t mean it’s right.” I swallowed the lump that tried to lodge the truth inside. “I did something when I was younger that affected my life. You were right, I’m hiding on this mountain because it’s easy here. I don’t have to worry about the truth. I don’t have to face my friends and…my mother.” I choked, forcing the words out and having them burn with each phrase.

  “It’s okay. Shhh. I’m here.” He pulled me tight and stroked my hair, but the tears spilled over anyway. I wanted to be honest. I needed to be honest. It was time to face my regrets and my future. If he was going to give up his life for me, he needed to have all the facts. Facts that would change his mind, and then he’d be gone forever.

  Chapter 16

  “You’re shaking.” Seth pulled me tight to him, but I couldn’t stop. I’d never spoken about what happened, not in detail, not even to Ashley. I had only said one line to her: I was in trouble, the problem fixed itself, and now I can’t have children. But this conversation would be different. I’d have to completely open myself up to something I’d never truly faced. A loss I could never process until now.

  My teeth chattered and my words were shaky. “You need to understand that I thought he loved me.”

  “Shh.” He stroked my hair and pressed his lips to my head. “Stop. I can’t see you suffer. You don’t owe me an explanation about anything.” His words were too easy to accept.

  “No, you need to know. If you want to consider changing your life for me, it’s only right.” The words were barely audible with my teeth chattering.

  He removed his coat and wrapped it around me. “If you want to tell me, then you need to warm up. You’re chilled.”

  Souffle whined at my feet and rubbed against my legs. “See, she agrees. I’m getting you to the fire to warm up first.” He swept me into his arms, carried me inside, and set me on the sofa. After a kiss to my forehead, he stoked the fire and wrapped me in another blanket.

  I couldn’t stop shaking. Why? It happened so long ago.

  He encircled me in his strong embrace and rubbed my arm. The sound of Frank’s footsteps made me stiffen. He couldn’t know. He could never know. I tried to move away, but Seth wouldn’t let me. “Let him think what he wants. Don’t let him control you with his worthless lies.”

  His footsteps drew closer until I could sense him enter the grand room. “Sorry to interrupt such an intimate moment.”

  “Emma became chilled when she was helping me. Her dedication to her job is unparalleled to any I’ve seen. She is warming up now only after my insistence. I’m sure you wouldn’t want to have emergency services have to rescue one of your employees for hyperthermia.”

  “Of course not,” he said with an air of superiority. “Please, continue warming her if you wish.”

  “No insinuation. It’s just that her mother called. She wants to host an event here apparently.”

  “What?” I shot forward. The heat of fear blasted the icy edges of shock from my body.

  “Yes, she insisted on speaking with you about the menu, but I told her you were…indisposed at the moment.”

  Seth moved toward him, sending Frank back a few steps. Seth stopped his advance, though, as if he remembered his promise to me. I was certain Seth wanted to slug Frank, but he shoved his hands in his pockets instead.

  “Mother would never host an event here,” I protested, but Frank only shrugged.

  “She did mention something about a rumor spreading through town about her daughter. I honestly wouldn’t know what she’s referring to, though.”

  I looked to Seth with a warning stare. The look on his face told me he was at his breaking point. And to ask him to remain silent another second was unfair to his man card.

  “Thanks for relaying the message. I’ll return her call,” I said.

  Frank slithered from the room.

  Seth stole my attention with a simple touch to my arm. “Listen to me.” He took both my hands. “Now isn’t the time to get into what you wanted to speak about. I know you’re concerned that whatever you want to tell me I need to know before making any plans about us, so I’ll make you a deal. I won’t do anything until after Christmas. Once you feel more comfortable and trust me, I know you can share whatever it is that troubles you.” He ran a thumb over my knuckles, calming me in a way I didn’t think a man could.

  I closed my eyes, trying to reconcile his words, his reprieve from the truth. “That’s not fair to you.”

  “No, what’s not fair is me pushing you when I’ve only just returned and I’ve been ruthless in my efforts to win you back. I’ve treated this like a business deal I want to win and didn’t think about how it could cause you any discomfort.” He lowered his head, his eyes cast to the floor in an un-Seth like way. “I nearly pushed you into shock. The way you were shaking, it made me realize that if having you causes you that much pain, I would let you go.”

  Let me go? Those words impaled me like a rouge icicle. Stinging and then freezing my heart. “No. It’s not you.”

  “Oh, you’re not giving me the ‘it’s not you, it’s me’ speech, are you?” He smiled, a lopsided, hair over the brow, easygoing smile that I loved. It would only be sexier if he was in his flannel pajamas pants and T-shirt.

  “No, but I want you to understand that what I have to tell you could change the way you feel about me.”

  “Never.” He traced my jawline and tipped my chin a little higher. “Listen, we both have thin
gs we should talk about. I know there are things I want to tell you, but I’m not ready either. We’ll know when the time is right.” He pressed a kiss to my lips, and I believed him—that the awful truth of my past wouldn’t damage our future.

  Chapter 17

  An internal war raged through me all night. With each passing tick of the clock, I changed my mind: Tell him now. Take his offer and wait until after Christmas.

  Night slid into early morning, which slid into midmorning.

  I wanted to talk this through with someone, but I couldn’t talk to anyone but Ashley about what was going on. And I’d bothered her enough already.

  Who else could I talk to? It would normally be Ms. King, but she was gone now. I knew I had other things to focus on. Ms. King would always tell me that focusing on others would make one’s troubles seem less overwhelming, so the meeting with Faith to work on the ornaments for the fundraiser couldn’t have arrived at a better time. It also gave me some space from Seth. Space I didn’t want but I needed. Time to sort through my erupting feelings.

  If it hadn’t been for Ms. King and my friends, I would’ve never found my independence from my mother. But I had, and I wouldn’t let her force her wishes on me any longer. I didn’t have time to worry about her. I needed to figure out what to do with the rest of my life. My life after Christmas. Maybe I’d find a job on the island and make my vacation permanent.

  No, I loved this area of the world too much. My heart would always belong in Christmas Mountain. I never would’ve left if I didn’t have the job opportunity in Blacktail and to get farther from my mother. That wasn’t true. I had wanted this job more than anything. I’d wanted to work at Pine Tree Lodge the minute I’d walked in and found it felt more like home than the mansion I’d grown up in as a child.

  I retrieved a pan from my cabinet and plopped it onto the stove. It was time to pull out Ms. King’s perfect hot chocolate recipe. The top secret one I wouldn’t serve at the lodge, not even at Seth’s Christmas event. But for Faith and any of our other friends, I would always make it for them.