by T. Styles
There was no way this nigga was living after that shit. I had to kill him. I didn’t even want to think about it being true although I knew it was a possibility.
“You got anything you want me to tell your mother after I kill you?” I asked in a low voice.
“What you say, nigga?” Charles licked his lips and held the gun to my face again.
“I said, you got anything you want me to tell that bitch when I kill you?”
“And how do you propose on doing that, bitch?”
“Like this.”
While this nigga was straddling me like a bitch, I managed to locate the knife and I went across his face. Slash! Now this mothafucka had twin scars. He immediately lost control of the gun due to me catching him off guard. When he got off me, I jumped on him and stabbed him multiple times in the chest and back. He had on some jeans and a blue shirt which were now drenched in thick crimson colored blood. He tried to scream but I went across his throat. Take that! I wanted him speechless. I took everything out on Charles, from the shit he did to me at school, to Delonte putting my mom through bullshit, to my father not being around. He personally became responsible for everything in my life.
I stabbed him so many times, that although I was stabbing his body, some of my jabs went straight to the ground.
When I got up I was covered in blood.
His blood.
I tore off his shirt and pants and slid his body to the dumpster where the parking lot light had been broken for over a year. With all of the strength I had left, I lifted his limp body and threw it in the dumpster. I balled up his clothes and took off my shirts. It was cold outside but my own adrenaline and body heat warmed me.
I wiped off his gun and put it in my pocket. I don’t know why I took it; maybe it was a souvenir for taking his life. As crazy as I looked, I realized I still had to go home, covered in Charles’s blood. Facing my girl and Delonte were the least of my worries, after all, I had just committed murder.
CHAPTER FIVE
SEPTEMBER 17th
SATURDAY, 10:45PM
KELSI
You did what the fuck you had to do Kelsi. It was either that nigga or you and guess what, it was him. I knew if ever there was a reason for murder, tonight was it. Charles would have been showing up at my house until I put him out of his misery. Its bad enough my moms lived here, I don’t know what I’d do if she got caught up in all this shit. And then that bamma had the nerve to speak to my moms.
He crossed the line.
Walking through the hallway smelled different tonight. My senses were heightened because I was in another zone. I could smell everything including my neighbor’s food, perfume, the detergent in the laundry room downstairs and now the ever-lingering scent of blood. I was aware of everything going on inside of me and around me.
I dug in my pocket and grabbed the keys that were wrapped around the barrel of the gun. I got them loose and opened the door. The first thing I saw damn near drove me to murder all over again, Delonte and Lakeisha, sitting on the couch, watching TV together…laughing.
“I thought I told you to stay in my room Lakeisha!” I yelled without even saying hello.
It was silent with the exception of the door closing behind me and my keys hitting the table.
“Did you hear what I said to you? I thought I told you to stay in my fucking room!”
It took me a second to remember I was covered in blood. That explained why the two of them, sat stuck on the couch, staring at me. Delonte cut the TV off and stood up. He didn’t walk over to me, he knew better.
“Baby!! What happened to you? What happened to your face?” She screamed as she ran toward me, almost tripping over Delonte’s feet.
I wasn’t in the mood for her questions and I wasn’t in the mood for her shit. I told her ass not to leave my room unless she wanted something to eat or drink and there she was, sitting on the couch, looking at TV with the only other enemy I had alive.
“Are you okay man?” Delonte asked.
I ignored him like he wasn’t even in the room.
“Lakeisha, why you in here? I don’t want you around this mothafucka when I’m not home!” With each word, I raised my voice louder. I wanted her to understand I wasn’t playing and I wanted him to hear every word I said. Say something to me mothafucka. Please. He didn’t. He saw murder in my eyes and I knew it. I stared at him longer so he could see it up close and personal. Without saying shit, I gave him a glimpse of what I’d do to him. He saw it, but only because I wanted him to.
I pushed Lakeisha toward the room, closed my door and reached underneath the mattress to grab the bag that held the bloody shirt I wore yesterday. I put the new blood drenched clothes in the bag and pushed it underneath the bed. I sat next to her on my bed and she moved away from me a little.
I took two deep breaths and tried to calm down. My moms always told me before reacting, take two breaths. Although I always did it, it only gave me the energy to do what I was gonna do anyway. I wasn’t trying to scare her but she made me mad. She should’ve stayed her hot ass in my room. My TV’s the same size as the one in the living room plus I got over 800 movies and 200 CD’s. She couldn’t be no more entertained out there than she could in here.
“I was bored.” She was crying and breathing all hard and shit, but sympathy was something I didn’t have a lot of since she ain’t listen. “And what happened to you, Kelsi?”
“Baby, I’m okay. I just, I just had to handle some things tonight.”
“What things?” She asked, as she looked me over.
“Some things.” I emphasized in a low voice. “Don’t worry about it though, I’ll be okay.”
Finally taking one good look at her, I smiled when I noticed she was wearing a pair of my boxers and a wifebeater. Her nipples were hard and her ass filled my boxers out so well, it was as if they were made for her. The smile was wiped away from my face when I noticed how sexy she looked. I didn’t notice what she was wearing at first because I had just killed a man. Now, the thought of her sucking his dick, or riding him, filled my mind. Suddenly, a sense of calm took over my body as I realized how I reacted when I came in was justified. I didn’t want my girl nowhere near that clown.
“Keisha, I love you, but I don’t want you fucking with that dude.” She put her head down. I lifted it back up. “Listen, baby. Don’t fuck with that dude.” I wanted her to look in my eyes and know just how serious I was. I was on some whole different shit and we both knew it.
“Okay, Kelsi, but you’re scaring me,” she said as her chest moved along with her heavy breaths. “What’s…what’s…going on?”
“There’s nothing to be scared of, baby. I wouldn’t hurt you.” I placed my hand on her leg and noticed it was covered in blood. I immediately looked at myself in the mirror on my dresser. For the first time, I saw how serious things were. I looked like I was bathed in blood.
“You look like you went to war, Kelsi. What happened…pleeease tell me,” she cried.
She was right. I did. Still there was no need to push it in her face. I needed to wash the last thing existing of that nigga off my body.
“Baby, let me go jump in the shower and I’ll be right back.”
“Kelsi, can you talk to me. You’re acting strange.”
“Let me jump in the shower and I’ll talk to you,” I said in a calming voice. “I promise, I’ll tell you everything later.”
“Okay Kelsi,” she said as she lay down on my bed in the fetal position pulling the sheets over her body.
I grabbed a few things from my drawers and closed the door. Delonte was on the phone and I knew he was telling my moms what he thought he knew.
“Couldn’t wait to get on the horn could you, nigga?” I didn’t really expect an answer.
He just shrugged his shoulders. I didn’t care because she was gonna find out sooner or later. I just had to think of what to tell her.
IN MY BED
11:15PM
I cut the lights out with the excepti
on of the lamp on my dresser. I turned on 96.3 FM; a slow jams radio station to relax my shawty. I knew a lot had happened over the past few days and I was barely grasping everything, so I could imagine how it felt for a girl. And then that old school joint by Prince, The Beautiful Ones came on. The mood was getting just right.
I had my arms wrapped around her, using my body to hold and convince her that everything was okay. I wanted her to feel that I was okay too and that I wasn’t going crazy. I was still the same Kelsi who walked her to the bus stop after school. I was still the same Kelsi who sexed her like she liked to be sexed, but now, I was the Kelsi, who killed her ex-boyfriend, to protect her and to protect us.
“Baby, would you ever hurt me?”
“Girl, you know better than that. I might get mad at you and shit but I would never put my hands on my girl.” I kissed her neck, savoring the scent of her skin, finding comfort in it.
“Well you said before that you’d hurt me. You said it twice the other day.” She reminded me as she turned around to face me.
“I said that shit because you wouldn’t leave when that nigga was trying to put you in his car. I ain’t want him touching you and shit.”
“You act like he ain’t neva been with me before.”
I could tell she said that shit to piss me off, and it was working. I ain’t want to hear nothing about her being with him now, or any other time. All I could think about was what that nigga said outside. I wanted to tell her what he said to me, but I wasn’t sure if I was really ready to hear the answer.
“Are you sure Charles ain’t fuck with you that day?”
She was quiet.
“Keisha, I asked you a fucking question.”
Silence.
“Keisha, did he put his fucking hands on you?” I yelled sitting up straight in the bed.
“No, Kelsi! Damn, he ain’t fuck with me at all!” Although she was yelling at me, my tensed muscles began to relax.
Good, she ain’t tainted, I thought as I looked at her closely. “You ain’t lying to me are you?” I asked laying in the bed next to her. “Cuz I can’t stand a fucking liar.”
“No, baby.”
“So why would you remind me you’d been with him before? Like I ain’t know that shit already.”
“I’m just playing, Kelsi. Dang! Why you getting all serious?”
“Yeah, well tonight I don’t feel like playing.”
“Are you scared of him, Kelsi?”
If she only knew. I never feared him; I feared what he could do to me. A man is nothing more than blood and tissue and tonight I proved it.
I could have got all pumped since I killed that nigga and said, ‘Fuck no I ain’t scared of that nigga! Especially a dead nigga!’ But I didn’t. There was no need for all of that, and I didn’t want her knowing what was up. I gave her just enough to know that her man was no punk, and if need be, I could protect her like I could protect my moms.
“Naw, baby. Trust me, I don’t fear no man except God.”
She must’ve liked what I said because she turned around, moved into me and pushed her ass against my dick.
I was just getting ready to go for it when that faggot knocked on my door.
“Uh, Kelsi, I don’t know what you doing in there but your mother wants to talk to you on the phone.”
“What?”
“I said your mother’s on the phone. Open this door.”
This nigga had female tendencies and I expected him to call my mother, so I couldn’t be mad. I just laughed to myself because I could just see him telling on me. Instead of me rushing to the phone like some scared little boy, I decided to fuck his head up a little.
“Naw, man. Tell her I’ll talk to her later. I’m busy right now.”
I knew telling him that would make him madder than it would my mother. Besides, there was nothing she could do now, the damage was already done.
“You should really talk to your mother man, she’s worried.”
“She’s worried because you made her. Now get the fuck away from my door.”
“Kelsi come out here and get this phone.”
“Man, I’m busy! I’ll talk to my moms when she gets here.”
I heard his feet sliding back to the couch. I added a little extra so he could run tell that. I directed my attention to the fine ass girl I had in my bed. I looked at the clock and saw I had a little under two hours before my mother would be home and I wanted to make love.
No scratch that. I wanted to fuck.
“Your mother is going to be mad, Kelsi,” Keisha said.
“No she ain’t. My moms know you over here.” I told her this although I wasn’t sure if she’d be okay with why I carried his ass, especially in front of Keisha.
“She know I’m over here, but she still gonna be mad you ain’t come to the phone when she asked you to.”
“I’m a grown man,” I said giving extra for my girl. “It’s gonna be alright. Worry about this.” I pulled her hand toward my dick.
She looked down as her hand circled my dick and she started stroking me to full attention. “You so nasty, Kelsi.”
“Girl, you know you like it. Let me show you how nasty I can be.”
I turned her over and kissed her lips. She looked at me with her pretty brown eyes and smiled. She knew what time it was. She started taking the boxers off but I told her not to. I wanted to fuck her with them on. They were big enough for me to slide my dick right in and still bang her back out.
Right before I entered her body she said, “Kelsi, how come you don’t like Delonte?”
I was blown away by what she asked but I didn’t want to make her mad and renege on the pussy.
“I don’t like him cuz he’s a bitch and that’s my business, Lakeisha. Why?”
“I don’t know. He seems cool, that’s all.”
I grabbed her face hard enough to get her attention, but not hard enough to hurt her.
“Lakeisha, don’t be making friends with Delonte. He might not be around too long.”
She ain’t say nothing else and I left her to her own thoughts. She could have taken it any way she wanted to.
When I slid in and out of my girl’s wet pussy, I realized Delonte knocked on the door not only to irritate me but to playa hate. The only question I had was why?
CHAPTER SIX
SEPTEMBER 18th
SUNDAY, 12:30AM
JANET
R iding in the cab felt like being in a casket. I couldn’t move or reach Kelsi fast enough. It didn’t help that the cab smelled liked somebody farted and rolled up the windows. My head was throbbing because I had just given my resignation and whether or not Delonte and I made it, Kelsi was out of control and needed me at home.
Although Kelsi and I were close, I never revealed my past to him. I’ve done a lot of shit I was embarrassed and ashamed of, but tonight, I would reveal everything to him. He needed to know that his mother was not a stranger to the pressures of the world.
I knew that sometimes people had a tendency to fuck with folks and force them to say and do things that they normally wouldn’t do but you never take shit out on your own family. But tonight all shit’s gonna hit the fan. I chose to hide my past because I wanted to get him away from that life, my life. Hell, I didn’t want him even curious about it. Now that I think about it, maybe knowing about my past could save his future. That’s why I took precautions, little pre-cautions, to make sure he’d be okay.
“That will be $15.60. Cash please,” the driver said.
It seemed like when I was thinking about reaching just Kelsi, it took the driver forever, but now that I was thinking about revealing my past, we were there already. Maybe I was really afraid and was trying to convince myself that I wasn’t.
“Ma’am, did you hear me? It’s $15.60 please.”
The driver was rude and for real he had a mothafucking attitude. His cab and his breath smelled like shit. I took my time looking through my purse to pull out exact change. When I found it, I handed it to
him. No tip.
“Thank you Ma’am!”
“You’re fucking welcome!”
I slammed the car door dramatically and ran up to my apartment building.
Normally I would have gotten my mail, but there was no delivery greater than the one I had to give to Kelsi. When I walked through the door, Delonte wasn’t there. I didn’t really care because maybe it was best that Kelsi and I had the place to ourselves, but then I remembered that it was the weekend, and Lakeisha was probably still over. Shelly told me all the time that it was crazy for me to allow two minors to have sex in my house. Like we weren’t two minors having sex in my house with Lorenzo. That bitch was 50/50. I looked at it like boys will be boys and I’d rather him be safe, in every sense of the word, than unsafe in somebody else’s house.
I threw my purse and keys on the kitchen table. Suddenly I felt constrained by my own message and hated that it would be delayed due to his girlfriend being there. I opened his door and a strong odor of sex filled the air. I flicked the light on and there they were, lying under the covers.
“Ma, what you doing? This is my room.”
I just stared at him. I was tired of his disrespect and bullshit. I worked two jobs to keep a roof over our heads and I felt he didn’t care. I had no idea that when he said he’d be willing to kill someone for me, that it was me he was talking about. The shit he was doing was driving me crazy and definitely driving both of us to an early grave.
“Lakeisha, get up and go into my room,” I said real slowly, never taking my eyes off of Kelsi.
“Yes, Ms. Stayley.” She tried to fix her clothing that I’m sure my son messed up. As she walked past me, I noticed a wet stain on the front of the shorts she was wearing. Looking from the stain to Kelsi, he could tell I was pissed because his eyes quickly diverted from mine. I talked to that boy many times about using protection and from the looks of it, either the condom broke, or there was no protection involved.