Here I Am!

by Pauline Holdstock

  She was right. Gordon Knight and Alec were in the Captain’s Quarters. My friends! I decided I would talk to them but not to the fibbing Captain. The Purser was there too with his lists. They were sitting in armchairs by a little low table except the Captain. He was sitting at his desk.

  The Captain said Come along inside you two. Sit down, sit down. Now. We’ll try to get everything straightened out and then we can make arrangements for your parents to be contacted.

  Mr Knight said His father Captain.

  The Captain said Right. Oh right.

  I said I don’t want to sit here. My feet stick out. I want to sit on the floor beside Alec? Please.

  The Captain said Probably better if you come and stand here. Now. First of all tell us your full name.

  I didn’t say anything.

  Gordon Knight said Tell him Frankie.

  I said Francis Walters.

  The Captain said Do you mind if I call you Frankie? Or Frank?

  I didn’t say anything.

  Gordon Knight said I don’t expect he would mind if you call him Frankie.

  I said I would. It’s only for people who are fond of me.

  Leftenant Fawcett laughed out loud so I said Not for anyone else.

  The Captain said Right then. Well — Francis — can you tell us where you live?

  I didn’t say anything.

  Mr Knight said Francis they want to get in touch with YourDad.

  I said You can call me Frankie.

  He did a little sigh just for himself and said Thank you. Now tell them your address.

  I said I’ll write it down or they’ll get it wrong. People always get it wrong.

  The Purser said All right. Here. And he held out his notepad and his pen.

  I said I’d like to sit at the desk, please. Gordon Knight put his hand over his mouth and wiped his face down like he had a bit of jam on it.

  The Captain got up and I sat in his chair. The Purser pushed it in tight for me. I said That’s too tight so he pulled it out again. I wasn’t looking at him but I can tell when people are mad just by the way they breathe so I didn’t ask for a cushion. He tore a piece of paper out of his notebook and gave me his pen.

  I wrote —

  7 Worcester Terrace Southampton Hampshire England The World

  I said You say Wooster not War-cess-ter. I said it to the air. Just in case they didn’t know. And so I didn’t make anybody mad.

  The Purser said And how old are you?

  I wrote down six. because I wasn’t speaking, remember?

  — I don’t suppose you know how tall you are.

  I wrote it down for them. And how much I weighed.

  — Eyes?

  I wrote Yes but he bended down and looked at me and said Blue. He was writing stuff too in his own book. I crossed mine out and wrote blue on top.

  — And do you know YourDad’s name?

  I wrote down Len Walters.

  The Purser said And do you have a telephone?

  I shook my head. I think I just wanted to be mean.

  — Right. (That was the Purser.) Well I’ll get this off to the coast guard. I think that’s the quickest way to reach the consulut and they can take it from there and meanwhile we’ll get in touch with Southampton via shipping.

  — Thank you Fawcett. (That was the Captain). I don’t think there’s much more we can do at this stage.

  — Except make sure he doesn’t, you know, D-I-S-A-P-P-

  — E-A-R (I was really mad I said that. I wasn’t going to talk to them.)

  Gordon Knight said I’ll keep an eye on him.

  I wanted to laugh but I didn’t. It was all quiet. Nobody said anything for thirteen seconds. I counted (I used orangutans). And then the Captain said That’s all right thank you Mr Knight. Matron can look after him now. You’ll have plenty to do today I’m sure.

  I said But he’s my friend. And everybody went quiet again.

  I don’t know what’s wrong with people all the time.

  Mr Knight said Don’t worry. I’ll come and see you and did a great big smile.

  Leftenant Fawcett said Right then. We’ll go and wait for that call.

  Chapter 13

  TUESDAY (Still)

  We went all the way back down to Deck Seven.

  Nurse Adeyemi said What are we going to do with you now? It looks like a busy morning.

  There were five souls waiting to see the surgeon. I could see through the window in the door. I said I can wait in the room next door.

  She said That’s the overflow. It’s probably not a bad idea. If it’s empty. I’ll find someone who can stay with you.

  I said Mr Knight said he would keep an eye on me.

  She said Fat lot of good that’d be.

  That was a bit rude.

  I said He kept an eye on me all night.

  She said Yes. We know all about that.

  She said Come in here a minute and I’ll find someone.

  Everyone sat up straight as if they were in Miss Kenney’s class.

  Nurse Adeyemi said Good morning. I’ll be with you in just a minute.

  She picked up the handle of the telephone and said Yes. It’s Matron. Have you got a spare body over there?

  I didn’t really like hearing that. I picked up a National Geographic (without looking at anyone) so I could have something to stare at without looking scared. And guess what? It was an orangutan. Just like my counting.

  Nurse Adeyemi was still talking into the telephone. She said I need a hand…No…Yes…One of the girls from hospitality?…All I need is someone with a good head on their shoulders. I’m not looking for the Admiral of the Fleet. Yes. You can get that from Leftenant Fawcett…No. I know…But this is not a regular situation we’re dealing with…Thank you.

  She put the telephone back on the wall and said I’ll be right back to all the people and took me next door. I tried not to think about the things I had heard her say.

  Next door there was a little short bed and two armchairs. I got into one and held up the National Geographic. I said Look! An orangutan! I did thirteen of those this morning.

  She said Good boy (I don’t think she was paying attention). We can go and get some books from the playroom if you like.

  I said No thank you. Shall I read you a bit?

  She said Well you can try.

  I said Wait a minute.

  She sat down.

  I couldn’t find the orangutans. If they’re on the front they’re inside too. Then I did. I said Here they are. Listen. It says The Sumatran (I don’t know what that is) Orangutan is the largest tree- what? — oh I get it — living mammal in the world. A male orangutan can reach five feet — that’s sixty inches. That’s fifteen inches more than me — and weigh as much as three hundred pounds. Is that heavy?

  — Heavy just depends. I’m nine stone six.

  — That’s one hundred and twenty-six pounds plus six. You’re tiny compared.

  — Thank you.

  — …but it may take thirty years for him/a male to attain mature stature. I don’t know what that means but the next bit says Newborns weigh only three and a half pounds and do not leave their mothers for at least five years. But unless their mothers die right. Like get killed by a hunter. Or fall off the tree. Look! This is an orphan.

  — He’s a dear little fellow.

  — What do you call half an orphan?

  — I don’t know. What do you call half an orphan?

  — No. I’m not doing a joke. I’m asking you.

  — I don’t think I have an answer for you darlin.

  — Can we ask Mr Knight?

  — I have to stay here but when they send us someone you can go for a little walk.

  — If I hold hands.

  —
Yes. If you hold hands.

  — Or a long one.

  — Or a long one. But not more than half an hour.

  When someone came it was the lady from the shops with the bright red nails.

  She said My my my. It’s you. What have you been up to?

  Nurse Adeyemi said He just needs someone to keep an eye on him while I’m on duty.

  — The lady said Where are his parents?

  — I said parent. He’s in England.

  She put her eyebrows up but they were sort of crooked. Then she said

  — What’s wrong with the playroom?

  Nurse Adeyemi said It’s better if he’s not left. It’s quite important.

  The lady said Vee I Pee is it? Well that’s not why I signed on. Doesn’t the Purser know how to deal with it?

  Nurse Adeyemi said Look if you don’t want to do it just say so.

  The lady said What’s your name?

  I said Francis.

  Nurse Adeyemi said Just take him for a little saunter and you can take him for a bite to eat and then most likely I’ll be done. By about two anyway.

  The lady said Come along then Frankie.

  I said Francis.

  She said Pardon me for living.

  When we were walking I said Can we go outside?

  She said I suppose so. But we’ll have to go to the shop first so I can get a scarf.

  We went in the one where she works and got a red and blue scarf off a ring and said All right Sandra? Sandra said All right even though she didn’t pay for it. When we got outside she put it on her head and said There. That’ll save my perm.

  Outside I looked everywhere for Mr Knight. Then I said Can we go down to Deck Seven? She said Whatever you like. You seem to be the boss around here.

  She didn’t do much smiling so I didn’t either.

  We went down in the lift.

  I said I want to see the dog park.

  She said That’s disgusting. But we didn’t have to go there anyway because Gordon Knight was just coming along the corridor with Alec.

  I said Mr Knight. Guess who it is.

  He said Frankie I know exactly who it is.

  — Can I say Hallo to Alec?

  — Yes you may. Playtime Alec.

  Alec is always happy. He loves me. I think he loves me more than he loves Mr Knight. Poor Mr Knight.

  — And who is your friend Frankie?

  — You.

  — No. The friend you’re with.

  — She’s not —

  He interrupted me and said How do you do?

  — How do you do sir. Frankie has been keen to find you.

  — Francis (that was me).

  — And you are…?

  — Miss Thatcher. The Land Ahoy Shop sir.

  — Ah.

  — Nurse Adeyemi has asked me to keep an eye.

  — I see.

  I didn’t even want to laugh. I just wanted Miss Thatcher to go away.

  — Well I’m just going up to find some lunch. Would you like to join me?

  — I have to get a sandwich for Frankie.

  — Francis.

  — I’m sure he’d enjoy a beefburger right Francis?

  — Frankie.

  — Frankie.

  — Yes.

  — You could come as my guest no doubt. People rarely refuse me a request.

  — Well…

  — Settled then. Now the lift’s gone. We’ll have to call it again

  So that’s what I had. A beefburger. Miss Thatcher said they’re not called Wimpys. That’s just what common people call them. I didn’t want to do chatting so Mr Knight and Miss Thatcher did it instead and I listened.

  Miss Thatcher did the most. She said Haha at the end of everything like I suppose you’re used to the high-life haha. And It must cost a lot of money being you know blind haha. And But I expect the government pays you quite a bit. They seem to have money to burn haha. And Of course I won’t stay in shops forever haha. I expect I’ll be offered a new position soon. People usually don’t take long to see my potential haha.

  I got bored so when I had finished I got down and talked to Alec.

  Gordon Knight said You’d better sit up again. Miss Thatcher is supposed to be keeping an eye on you.

  Miss Thatcher said My goodness that was a big sigh for a little boy. Do you have any children Mr Knight?

  Gordon Knight said I’m not married. You could say I’m a confirmed bachelor.

  Miss Thatcher said Oh goodness. It’s almost two. We’d better get back.

  I said Where are we going?

  She said Back to the Surgery.

  I said will you come too?

  Mr Knight said I might come and see you yes. I’ll certainly see you before tomorrow. I want to hear all about your phone call. Say hallo to Nurse Adeyemi.

  Miss Thatcher said Time we were off.

  When we got back Nurse Adeyemi was in the room next door reading about orangutans. She said Wonderful. I have you for the rest of the day. She had a little tray with a teapot and two cups and some biscuits. She offered some to Miss Thatcher but Miss Thatcher said No I won’t thank you. I’m back on duty in half an hour. That was a relief.

  I said Can I read to you again?

  She said Darlin I’d love that.

  I read fifteen pages and then there was a knock on the door.

  Nurse Adeyemi jumped. Both of her feet sort bounced off the floor at the same time. I said Come in because she didn’t know what had happened.

  It was the Purser and another sailor.

  The Purser said Well. We’re making progress. I think we have contact.

  Nurse Adeyemi said With…? And the Purser said Yes.

  Nurse Adeyemi said On the line now?

  The Purser said Fifteen minutes apparently. Is the tea hot?

  Nurse Adeyemi said You’re out of luck. It’s cold and stewed. I can make some more.

  The Purser said Splendid. Tell them we’ll be along in fifteen Terry.

  He was fiddling about in the biscuit tin. He kept turning them over. He was probably looking for a chocolate digestive.

  Nurse Adeyemi thought so too because she said There aren’t any.

  He said Oh I was just looking for one for the lad.

  I thought Pants on fire and sat down on the floor with the orangutans.

  Nurse Adeyemi said Well give him one then.

  He said Oh. Right.

  I said No thank you.

  Nurse Adeyemi got a kettle out of a cupboard and made some new tea and then she did chatting with the Purser while I was reading but I can’t tell you what they said because I wasn’t listening. I could tell you about what I was reading but you will probably only pretend to be interested. That’s what people usually do when I talk to them about exotic members of the animal kingdom. Except MyDad. He is always interested in everything. If MyMum was still alive she would say You and Frankie peas in a pod.

  When they had had their new tea the sailor called Terry came back and we went to the radio room.

  The radio room had a whole lot of knobs and plugs and switches and dials and needles but I couldn’t see even one telephone. There was a sailor with earmuffs on working all the controls. He said Sit down. We’ll get your Dad up in no time.

  I said He’ll already be up. We did the minusses. He’ll be at work.

  He said Not to worry. It won’t be too long now.

  There were four chairs and a stool. Guess who got the stool. Leftenant Fawcett did standing with his bottom on the edge of the table. He started showing off and explaining everything to Nurse Adeyemi. She looked a bit tired. The radio officer said It’s a busy afternoon. We’ll have to have a bit more quiet in here if you don’t mind. Nurse Adeyemi said Not at all si
r.

  Somebody knocked on the door and a foreign sailor put his head in said Do you want the Captain yet sir?

  The radio officer said I’d say still about another fifteen minutes. I counted to see if he was right. He wasn’t. When I’d done twenty sixties the Captain came in. It was really crowded. I counted four more minutes after that then the radio sailor said Ah here we are.

  He twiddled some knobs and said There. That’s better. Hallo? Southampton? This is WV6R0. Warrant Officer Jamieson here. I’ll put the Captain on.

  The Captain said Captain Pondringum…Mike Alderton?…You’re joking!…You got transferred? When was that?…Surprised no one told me. Do you miss Tilbury?…Haha. Who would — what? But we mustn’t keep these good people waiting. You have Mr Walters there?…Good put him on…Hallo Mr Walters. How do you do? You’ve been briefed I take it?…Well let’s hope it is sir. It’s a pity we don’t have radiovision. Haha. However I’m sure you’ll be able to tell us as soon as you speak to him.

  He took his earmuffs off and said come over here Frankie. Francis.

  I went over and he put the earmuffs on my head. They came down to my neck.

  He said Wait a minute and he adjusted them.

  I said Ow.

  He said You’ll just have to hold them. Here.

  He put my hands on the earmuffs and put them over my ears.

  I listened.

  He said Can you hear anything?

  I said I can hear someone sniffing.

  He said Say hallo.

  I hate it when people tell me what to say.

  I said Here I am.

  MyDad said Frankie. Oh Frankie.

  I said Where are you?

  He was a long time thinking. Then he said I’m at the Port Authority.

  I said Is that like the Police?

  He said Sort of.

  I said Because of me?

  He didn’t say anything because he was blowing his nose.

  I said Are they going to put you in jail?

  He said No. Frankie. Oh Frankie.

  I said What?

  He said Are you all right?

  I said Yes thank you. Have you buried Mum?

  Captain Pondringum said That’s enough now and pulled the earmuffs off my head and put them on his.

  He said So. Mr Walters. Can I assume it’s safe to say we have your son here? Mr Walters? Hallo? Hallo?