In Her Space

by Knight, Amie

  He took the sandwich and beamed up at me. “You’re a princess.”

  I reached into the bag again. “And socks!”

  He clutched at his chest dramatically and batted his eyelashes at me. “A queen. You’re a queen.” He took the socks and sat down on his blanket right next to the stairs.

  I laughed. “You’re a terrible flirt.”

  Harold had been there as long as I had been back. I’d met him the first time I’d come back to this building. He’d flirted shamelessly with me then and still did, anytime I came by. I knew the police sometimes chased him off, but most days he hung out on this stoop. At least he looked warm today. I worried about him.

  “Be good, Harold,” I said as he opened his sandwich and I entered the building. I knocked on the door right before the stairwell, trying my hardest not to think of Adam or our run-in.

  “Who is it?” I heard a tiny voice through the door I knew well.

  “Just me,” I called back.

  “Mommy. Mommy! Ms. Liv is here! Open the door, Mommy.”

  I giggled behind my grocery bag.

  The door opened a crack and Mona peeked through before unlatching the chain on the door and finally swinging it wide. “Hey, Liv.”

  “Hey,” I said, breezing past her and heading straight for the kitchen.

  “What did you bring me, Ms. Liv?” Maddie jumped around me, her blond pigtails bouncing.

  Mona leaned against the doorjamb in the kitchen while I unloaded the milk and eggs and put them in the refrigerator. “You have to stop bringing us food, crazy lady.”

  I gave her big eyes. “I don’t know what you’re talking about. I’m just here to visit my girls.”

  She shook her head with a smile.

  She looked good today. I would never forget the day I’d seen her when Adam had brought me to his house the first time when I’d been just sixteen. I thought her sad, then. But she was doing pretty well lately.

  I’d run into her and Maddie at the planetarium not long after arriving home. I’d been happy to see her clean and making a go at being a good mom. Maddie was seven and full of energy. I’d convinced Mona to let Maddie join my afterschool program at the planetarium and that was all she wrote. We’d become fast friends. She was a far cry from the sad, downtrodden woman from years ago. And while she sometimes slipped up and had setbacks, I vowed I’d be there for them both.

  They didn’t always have enough money. Mona worked as a waitress at a local restaurant, but the tips were shit during the day while Maddie was at school and she wanted to be home in the evenings with her child. I didn’t blame her. A girl needed her mom. Groceries were a way I could help, so I tried to bring some by every weekend. To check on them and to keep their bellies full.

  “Did you bring me something special?” Maddie asked as I put the cereal in the cabinet.

  I grinned at her. “Maybe.”

  The girl absolutely loved peanut butter and chocolate. “Can I?” I asked, checking with Mona.

  She shook her head but smiled. “Fine.”

  “Yes!” Maddie shouted, jumping up and down.

  I whipped the Reese’s cups out of the bag with flair and handed it over. “Tadaaa!”

  She snatched it from my hand and then wrapped her arms around my waist. “Thank you so much, Ms. Liv.” She gave me a squeeze and ran from the room like her behind was on fire.

  I’d just finished putting away the last of the groceries when Mona asked from the doorway, “You doing okay?”

  I turned around so I could look at her and leaned against the counter. “Yeah, why wouldn’t I be?”

  She raised her eyebrows all the way to her hairline. “Are you serious right now?”

  I pursed my lips. “Oh, for fuck’s sake, not you, too.”

  “Well, he is home and you’ll see him tonight. Am I right?”

  I shrugged like I didn’t have a care in the world when in reality I was a ball of nerves. I damn sure didn’t mention our awkward reunion on the sidewalk outside the building. Not that it was worth talking about, anyway. “It doesn’t matter. We’ve both moved on with our lives. We’re totally cool. He’s like super rich and successful now and I’m doing what I love. Everyone is happy.” I couldn’t think about what would have happened had we been allowed to stay together. If Adam hadn’t been carted off to jail and I hadn’t been forced away to school. I couldn’t think of the kind of happy we might be now. Because it would break me.

  “If you say so.” She gave me a look that said I was completely full of shit. She was probably right but what was done was done. I couldn’t go back and change things no matter how I longed to. No matter how I wished it. And I’d wished it plenty.

  I changed the subject. “Maddie gonna be at the planetarium this week?”

  “Yep. She wouldn’t miss it.”

  “Well, I better get going. I have to get ready for tonight. Gotta make sure I look good enough to impress all the hotshots there with money.”

  “Somehow, I don’t think you’ll have a problem with that,” she said as she walked me to the door.

  Normally I would have stayed and played a board game with Maddie or maybe watched a movie with them, but I could tell Mona wanted to grill me like Raven had and I wasn’t down for that. Not even a little bit.

  “Bye, Maddie bug.”

  She ran to me with sparkling green eyes. She was adorable and I could have eaten her up. I hugged her tight to me.

  “I will see you Monday. Okay? Make sure to be ready. We’re going on a bear hunt!”

  She backed out of my embrace, her eyes wide. “A bear hunt?”

  “Mmmhmm. Ursa Major is his name! And he is really cool!”

  “Yay!” she said through a mouth coated in chocolate, hugging me once more.

  Mona walked me out into the hallway and called out to me as I hit the front door of the building. “Don’t do anything I wouldn’t do tonight.”

  I laughed and threw over my shoulder, “I have a feeling there isn’t much you wouldn’t do, Mona.”

  She winked. “You’d be completely right about that.”

  I giggled as I made my escape down the front steps and Harold didn’t miss it.

  “That laugh, it’s like the sounds of bells,” he said dramatically, his hand to his heart, and I laughed even harder.

  I got into the car, thankful I’d come by here today. I’d had a rough go the last two days and these people were just what the doctor ordered. They made me happy. I must have been a glutton for punishment because as I cranked the car and turned it, I knew exactly where I was going, but it was like I was on autopilot. I couldn’t stop myself. It was so close and I’d just have a peek. Maybe it was seeing him again.

  I parked the car next to the field and looked out over it, my heart burning in my chest. It was still there, just a little more rundown. Just a tad more junky than it had been years ago. I hadn’t set a foot in that field since the last time I’d been there with Adam. And I damn sure didn’t look at the stars and dream anymore.

  No, the stars were my job now. Science. Just like Adam had said. In fact, I didn’t even get out of the car. The thought paralyzed me with fear. That field made me dream and I couldn’t afford to do that anymore. No, my dreams had been snatched out from under me and I was still sporting the bruises to show for it. Those bruises were more a part of me than my dreams now.

  Part of me wanted to get out and look up, just one last time, but I didn’t even think I knew how to do that anymore. I’d gone from dreamer to realist in the blink of an eye ten years ago.

  Pulling away from the field, I blinked back the tears in my eyes. I couldn’t lie in that field anyway anymore. I didn’t even know where my daddy’s blue blanket was. It was probably in the dump somewhere if Georgina had anything to do with it. My guess was she cleared it out with the rest of my stuff when I’d refused to come home after college. No, Harry and I had no plans to ever return to this place. I was surprised that Georgina had even taken care of him while I finished hi
gh school away. It was never in the cards for us to come back. I’d come home for this job that was important to me and Raven, whom I loved more than life.

  I got home with very little time to spare.

  “Lord, girl, we are going to be late!” I heard Raven yell from her room.

  “I know, I know,” I said, running to my room and slipping my tennis shoes off. I thought of my run-in with Adam while I rummaged through my closet in a panic. We had to leave soon. I wanted to look good. I grabbed the strapless black dress that fit me to a T and squeezed my butt into it. I threw on some makeup haphazardly and ran a curling iron through my hair quickly.

  “Are you driving or am I?” Raven appeared in the bathroom mirror next to me. And all it took was seeing her. Tears filled my eyes. Her concerned gaze met mine in the mirror. “Oh, no, what’s wrong?”

  I shook my head, the curling iron still in my hair.

  “Is it seeing him? I’ll be there. It’s going to be fine.”

  One tear trickled down my cheek and Raven went around me and grabbed some tissue. She dabbed at my eyes, careful of my makeup.

  “I saw him today. When I went to Mona’s.”

  Her forehead wrinkled in confusion. “What was he doing over there? I heard he moved to the island.”

  I shrugged.

  “So, what’s wrong? What did he say?”

  “Nothing, really.”

  That was the problem, wasn’t it? It was much of nothing. It was like we were old acquaintances, not two kids who’d been deeply in love and were finally reunited. Maybe I had imagined it all. Maybe it wasn’t as magical to him as it had been to me. It was probably all for the best. We were business associates now. He was my boss. I was his employee. We’d keep it like that. But why did it all hurt so fucking bad?

  Raven dabbed at my eyes some more and then stood in front of me. “Let’s pull this out of your hair before you burn your pretty locks off.” She pulled the curling iron from my hand then from my hair and continued styling it. “Everything is going to be fine. I will be there with you tonight. And this is for the kids. We are raising money for your babies. Don’t forget that.” She fluffed my hair and added some hairspray. “There. You look gorgeous.”

  I looked a little waterlogged from all my tears, but other than that I did look pretty good. “Thanks, Raven.”

  Raven offered to drive to the planetarium because clearly I was a hot mess. The drive seemed longer than the normal ten minutes it took me to get to work and by the time we got there I was on the verge of jumping out of my skin.

  I made sure to plaster a huge smile to my face as we entered. Raven and I made the rounds and eventually split off while I was talking to a patron of the planetarium. I spent the better part of three hours schmoozing and talking with people who would possibly donate money to the kids program before I noticed him.

  My breath caught as soon as I saw him. He was standing clear across the room, but he could have been standing on a different planet and I wouldn’t have missed him. Now I really had a chance to take him in. It wasn’t some quick exchange on the sidewalk. He was bigger. A bit taller. Broader. His hair was cut short and pushed to the side carelessly, almost like he’d run his hands through it instead of brushing it. He was talking to Cat about twenty feet away, but I could feel him like he was touching me. His very presence made the room vibrate with energy. He was wearing a gorgeous black suit that fit him like a glove. I could tell it was ridiculously expensive, but he wore it like it was made for him. It was like he’d been born in that expensive suit and shoes. There were no traces of the poor tattooed boy I’d met years ago, except for the colorful pictures that peeked out of his clothes at his neck and hands.

  As I stared from across the room, I saw his jaw tick, once, twice, three times before his head turned. His assessing blue gaze met mine thoughtfully, slowly, like he’d held my hand all those years ago.

  Even after all these years we were like two magnets inexplicably drawn to each other. Our stares unwavering, our chests rising and falling in sync, our eyes mysteriously glued to each other’s. And God, his face. Gone was the boy. Gone were the soft curves and boyish features. And in their place was a devastating man. I didn’t know this face. His jaw was square and hard and covered in a delicious, dark stubble I wanted to rub my cheek against. His once bright, caring eyes were hot and unyielding on mine. It didn’t take away from his beauty at all. Adam Nova had been gorgeous at nineteen. At twenty-nine he was the stuff dreams were made of. And I didn’t dream anymore.

  I pulled my gaze away, shaken to my core. If I thought it was going to be hard to see him, I’d been dead wrong. This was way past hard. It was impossible. I should have packed my bags and gotten the hell out of town because there was no way this was going to work. Not at all. He was going to mutilate my heart. It was almost broken with just a simple stare.

  I pushed through the throng of people, determined to step outside for some fresh air until I gained some damn perspective because that stare had made me sixteen and foolish again. Even though his eyes had chilled me to my bone, I’d still wanted to look at them. God, I was pathetic. Ten years and I hadn’t moved on.

  I reached the edge of the room when a hand on my elbow caught me before I could head out the door.

  I turned around, half expecting to see Adam there, ready to let loose on me. Tell me how I’d ruined his life. But there stood Braden Rothchild. I shook his hand off. He looked good. Better than I remembered, but all I could think of was that night. Him and Sebastian hurting the boy I loved. But now, he stood there clean-cut and professional, an earpiece in his ear, a sharp black suit on.

  “What are you doing here?” I breathed, my gaze darting around the room looking for Adam. For fuck’s sake, was Braden an idiot? That big angry man would kill him on the spot.

  “Liv.” He said my name sadly and his eyes had a pleading look to them that I refused to be drawn into. I’d been fooled once. I’d never make that mistake again. I didn’t talk to anyone from the island, Braden included. I hadn’t heard from any of them since I’d been home and I didn’t plan on changing that anytime soon.

  He stepped closer to me. “We need to talk.”

  I shook my head. “No, you shouldn’t be here. You should—”

  He cut me off. “I’m here checking on my guys. They’re handling the security for the Gala.” He nodded toward a few of the guys in suits standing in corners and at doors.

  Ah. I’d heard that Braden and Sebastian had started a security firm. I’d also heard that Sebastian and Mel had shacked up and were getting married soon. My only thoughts on the matter were that they deserved each other.

  I let out a long breath. “Look, Braden. There’s nothing we need to say. I don’t want anything to do with any of you. You stay on the island. I stay over here. We don’t talk. End of story.”

  I turned, ready to exit the room when his hand grabbed my arm. Snatching my arm away, I swept back around, ready to lose my absolute shit on this man. He did not put his hands on me! Twice.

  But my breath caught in my chest as a million butterflies took flight in the depths of my belly. They swooped and flew and I thought I might die as cold blue eyes chilled me to the bone. He stood there. Right behind Braden, looking fiercer and more beautiful than I’d ever seen him.

  He was back.

  He was scary.

  He was gorgeous.

  I’d never stopped loving him. Not for one moment in ten years.

  He was the love of my life.

  He was my biggest tragedy.

  I SAW FUCKING RED. “DO not fucking put your hands on her.”

  I wanted to rip Braden limb from limb. And not just because of what had happened all of those years ago. He touched her. And clearly she wasn’t in the fucking mood to be touched. I was in no mood for it either.

  Braden’s hands came up in front of him. “I was just trying to talk to her, man.”

  “Don’t fucking talk to her, either,” I growled, bumping my chest to his.
I leaned forward until we were toe-to-toe and I could smell his expensive cologne that made my lip curl. “You don’t breathe the same air as Livingston Montgomery. Do you understand me?”

  His jaw clenched and I didn’t miss his hands as they each made a fist. The same fists that had brutally attacked me ten years ago. My every impulse was screaming for me to end him. Because I could. Three years in jail hadn’t just taught me fucking patience. I’d learned a hell of a lot more than that and not much of it was good. He did not want to fuck with me.

  A small hand pulled on the sleeve of my suit. “Mister Nova. Mister Nova, please.”

  I turned my gaze from Braden’s to stare down at Liv, who was pulling at my clothing. Mister Nova. Who the hell did she think she was calling me Mister Nova? It only pissed me off further.

  My nostrils flared as I looked back at Braden. “This isn’t over yet,” I ground out. And it wasn’t. It was far from over. It had all just begun.

  I pivoted on a heel and placed my hand at the small of Liv’s back, ushering her toward the door at the back of the planetarium. To the dark hallway we’d gone down so long ago before our picnic under the stars—the first time we’d made love. “This way, Miss Montgomery. I’d like a word with you.”

  She wiggled, trying to remove my hand from her back, but all it accomplished was for my dick to twitch in my pants. I opened the door and pushed her gently into the dark and closed the door behind me. A small emergency light lit the hallway just enough so I could see her.

  She teetered on those heels that made her legs look fantastic and leaned back into the wall next to the door, panic and something I couldn’t determine in her eyes.

  I stepped back and ran my hand over my jaw. I could smell her here in this narrow hallway. She smelled like she used to. Clean and innocent and my mouth watered even as adrenaline coursed through my body.

  I swallowed hard before I spoke. “Mister Nova?” I asked snidely.

  Her eyebrows rose and her hands clenched by her sides. Gone was the panic and in its place was all fiery heat. “Well, you are my boss now, aren’t you, Mister Nova?”

  God, she was beautiful. Standing there like that. It was like I’d never left. We may have been older, but the connection, the electricity was still there. It hadn’t gone anywhere.