by P. J. Belden
“Did you even ask?”
“No,” he says dejectedly. “When she called I just needed her to stop calling. She asked where you were. I told her to leave us alone to grieve. She asked who. I said my brother and hung up the phone. I had no idea that she…”
“What? Had no idea what, Peter? That she cared? That she loved me? That you tore her heart out so callously and didn’t even check up on her?”
“It’s not like that,” Peter protests.
Pushing to my feet, I stagger a bit. The pain is consuming, and my heart is breaking. “Yeah, well, that’s how I see it. That’s how she probably felt. Now you can know how it feels. I’m done with you.”
Turning, I start to walk back out to my truck. My brother grabs my arm tightly in his fist. “I didn’t want to lose you.”
Jerking my arm out of his hold. “Yeah and you are all that matters. Right, Peter? Fuck everyone else as long as you don’t have to go through any pain. Great job thinking of yourself big brother. All you did was delay your pain. I’m gone. Done with you.”
With that I stormed away to my truck and peeled out, never looking back. What my brother did, and so maliciously, is unforgivable. I came back expecting Waverly to be pissed. But I’d hoped she’d give me the option to explain and then we could pick up where we left off. The problem is there’s no way that can happen now. There’s a hole the size of the Grand Canyon between us and I’m not sure that I’ll ever be able to clear that jump. Not that I’m giving up, but reality has to play a part in this too.
Pulling into the hotel drive, I park my truck and head inside. When I was finally able to come back, I thought Waverly would still be in our apartment, that I could mend things. Tell her the truth as to why I couldn’t contact and had to stay away. Now, I have nowhere to call home. The only person that was home to me hates me.
“Mr. Michaels,” the way too bubbly receptionist calls from behind the desk. “Do you need anything today?”
This woman has been practically dry humping me since I checked into the hotel. Most times, I just talk to her nicely tell her I’m not interested and head on my way. Today, I’m not in the mood for talking. So, I ignore her completely and head to the elevator.
Once inside my room, I flop down on the bed and stare at the ceiling. The hotel is nice. The beds soft enough to sink into. The room has a sitting area, a balcony with seating, a closet with dresser, a king bed, a bathroom that would make anyone not want to leave it. But none of this means anything when the only person I can think of that I would want to share my room with is Waverly, and I doubt that is ever going to happen. This room is meant for lovers. It certainly is not meant for the heartbroken.
Scooting up the bed, I close my eyes and pray just in this moment I can sleep. A few hours is all I ask of my body. Just a few hours to not remember, to not wake up to my own screams. Just a few hours.
As I start to drift off to sleep, I chant the only thing that brings me solace. “Waverly, I love you. Waverly, I love you. Waverly…” Sleep slowly begins to claim me.
Waverly’s breathing evens out not long later. Her chest slowly rises and falls as she snuggles deeper into my hold. This is my happy spot. No, she is my happy place. Anything to do with Lee is all I need to be centered and all of the day’s stresses melt away.
Pressing a kiss to the top of her head, I breathe in the scent that is only her. Damn do I love this woman. I love her more than I ever thought my dismantled heart could manage. My brother and Waverly are all I have. Even Waverly’s family are part of the pieces that are left after my shit for brains parents did their damage.
Looking down at her, I smile at the soft noises she makes as dreams filter through her mind. A smile spreads across her face, and I smile because of it. She is my world. Tonight, I told Waverly that I saw forever for us. I’m not sure if she took it for what I meant, but she didn’t seem freaked out by the idea either.
Rolling over to my back, I close my eyes and take a deep breath. She’ll be mine forever. Tomorrow will be the first day of our forever. Turning my head, I look at the clock. A plan begins to build in my head. Slowly removing myself from the bed, I throw on clothes.
Quietly as possible, I grab my keys, wallet, and hat and take off out the door. Jumping in my car, I head over to a house that had become just as much my home as if I had grown up there myself.
Pulling up to the curb, I look at the darkened house and wait. I wait for the first part of my plan. Tapping the steering wheel nervously, I check the clock again. Sending up a silent prayer that he is on time. Just as I finish checking the clock for what seemed like the millionth time, lights light up the inside of my car before turning away toward the house. Swallowing my nerves, I climb from my car and walk toward the man that I have thought of like a father figure all my life.
“Legend? What are you doing here? Kind of late son. Is my daughter okay?” Glen talks in a hurry.
“No, she’s perfect,” I smile. “I, uh, wanted to ask you something.”
A smirk forms on the face of the man that reminds me so much of the woman I plan to spend forever with. “Can’t this wait until morning?”
“No. No, it can’t.” I say adamantly.
“Okay then,” he sighs as he shifts his cooler to his other hand. “Go on.”
“I love your daughter more than anything in this world. She saved me, made me believe in life after everything that happened with my parents. I’ve never met anyone as smart and brilliant as her. Someone so full of life and dreams. I can’t imagine finding anyone else as long as I live that will ever mean as much to me as Waverly.” I smirk. “Well, maybe when we have kids,” I say, not afraid anymore of the idea of having children. “She’s my everything. I’d like to know if you would… I’d like to ask your permission to marry your daughter.”
Glen whoops loudly and slaps his hand on my back. “Son, you are an incredible man that doesn’t see it. My daughter will show you. She’ll teach you who you are,” he winks. “You have my permission son, but I better not see her coming over here with no ring on her finger. She deserves the bells and whistles. You hear?”
“Understood, sir. Loud and clear. And I agree one hundred percent. She deserves no less than the fairytale.”
“Great. Now, this old man is tired. I’m going to curl up to my wife and get some sleep. I assume this will be happening tomorrow?” I nod in response. “Okay then. We’ll expect you at dinner tomorrow night to celebrate. Welcome to the family… again… son.”
The excitement that surges through me cannot be stifled. I hug Glen hard before running to the car. My hands are shaking as I try to get the key into the ignition. Starting the car, I take off to my next destination. It’s late in the evening, so I need to cash in some favors to make this the most perfect moment for her. One she’ll tell our children as they get older. Set a standard for the people our children will eventually date.
Pulling out my phone, I dial Billy. Praying he answers before it goes to voicemail. The ringing seems endless.
“What the fuck dude!”
“Look, I’m cashing in a favor,” I say quickly cutting off his tirade.
“Listening,” he says gruffly, knowing that what I’d done for him before was more important than the hour of the night.
“I need a ring. Not just any ring, an engagement ring.” I explain, nerves thick in my voice. “And I need it yesterday.”
There is a lot of shuffling over the phone. Silence meets my ear, and it’s driving me insane. This is the most important thing in the world to me right now. Without it, I don’t feel as though her ‘yes’ will be deserved.
“This is for Waverly, and I love that girl. I’ll meet you at the store in ten minutes. Congratulation brother.”
“She’s not said yes. Shit! What if she doesn't say yes?” I say more to myself than to him.
“She will, and you know it. That girl only sees the world when you are with her. I don’t know why, but you are hers. Don’t fuck this up, dude!”
> The line went dead, and I dial another number. Tonight, I’m going to be pissing a lot of people off, but hoping their love for Waverly will change their attitudes and make them want to help me pull this off.
Ten minutes later, I’m pulling up to Billy-ing Jewelers. It’s Billy’s idea of a funny take on ‘bling.' Running around the building to the back entrance and I enter the code to enter. Hurrying inside, I find Billy at the counter.
“Thank you so much for this,” I say through the anxiety starting to fill my stomach.
“From what I hear, you’ve got all the boys on this one, so I don’t feel so special now,” he jokes.
“This is the most important piece, outside of Waverly of course.”
His smile spreads. “I know. Every time she looks at her hand, she’ll think of me.”
My glare is met by his laughter. Billy and I go way back. Back when I was still under my piece of shit parents’ thumbs. Though I know that he’d never go near Waverly out of respect for our friendship right now, I’m nervous as hell.
“What am I choosing from?” I ask looking down at the selection that he’s pulled out and set on the counter.
“These here are worthy of your girl.”
Looking at all the rings sitting in front of me, my eyes keep going back to one ring, even as I try to look at the other ones. Pointing at the platinum band with the beautiful princess cut diamond with light purple colored gems on either side of it. It’s not traditional, and that is what makes it so perfect. Lee is unique, and so is this ring.
“This is it, Billy. This one right here. It’s perfect. It’s… It’s so…”
“Waverly,” he smiles and pulls a box out, places the ring inside and hands it to me. “We’ll square up later. Go make that girl yours.”
Smacking him on the shoulder, I shove the ring in my pocket and run to my car. Time is passing too quickly. She seems to have a sense for when I’m not in bed, and I’ve got so much to do.
My tires squeal lightly as I pull up to Hannock’s twenty-four-hour store to grab the last of the things I need. Climbing from my car, I hear raised voices, and a sinking feeling fills my stomach. Turning to the side of the building, my eyes strain to see in the dark. Squinting, I can see three guys…
The noise jerks me awake as the sound keeps filling the room. Turning, I see the light is trying to peek through the closed curtains. Fuck! I rub my hand across my face as I take a deep breath. Every night I dream the same dream, it seems. The night I lost all hope and fear controlled me.
The sound fills the room again, banging and then knocking. Groaning, I push myself off the bed. Who the fuck is bothering me? Unless it’s Waverly suddenly wanting to be with me and love me again, I don’t want to talk to whoever stands on the other side of that door. Stumbling over my shoes, I catch myself on the dresser before I make it to the door and peer through the peephole.
Confusion fills me as I open the door and find Jess on the other side. Two seconds later, her fist hits my left eye, and she shoves me into the room and slams the door closed. Holding my eye, I blink rapidly trying to clear water from it.
“What the hell?”
“You son of a bitch! You fake your death and come back here and rock her world after she was just pulling herself together!” Jess yells.
“I didn’t… How did you find me?” I say straightening myself.
Jess is a beast when it comes to Lee. She told me when we first started dating that if I hurt her, she’d hunt me down and serve me my balls on a platter. Had I already not been almost head over heels in love with her, I’d probably have run. Jess is not one to be messed with. My balls shrivel up inside of me at just the thought.
“I followed your dumbass here. I see you pissed your brother off too huh?”
“Pissed him off? No. He ruined my fucking life.”
She stares at me for the longest time. Her eyes assessing something that I can’t seem to understand at the moment. Really looking at her for the first time since she barged in here, I see how tired she looks, and I notice that her stomach is slightly swollen. My legs give out, and I fall onto the bed at the reminder of what I never had the chance to have because of my fucked up life. Unwanted tears begin to fill my eyes.
“You’re in pain?” Jess asks as if it’s something I shouldn’t feel.
Wiping at my eyes, I look at her. “Of course I am. Lee is everything to me, and in one night that was supposed to go so differently, I lose all I’ve ever wanted and even more that I never even knew I had.”
“She told you about Remy?”
“Remy? That was my son’s name?” A choked sound catches in my throat.
Jess moves next to me and places her hand on my shoulder. “Where the hell have you been?”
“I’d have never left her if it could have been prevented,” I insist sincerely.
“Well, I’m starting to see this. What kept you away for two years, Legend? That’s a long time, and she was told you were dead.”
Clenching my fists, I pop my neck side to side. “That was my fucking brother. I had no idea he told her that. It was never in the plan.”
“What was the plan,” Jess asks. “Why was there even a plan?”
“No offense Jess, but Lee deserves to know it all before I tell you. I just have to figure out how to get her to sit down and talk to me long enough to get it all out. At this point, I know the grief I’ve caused her. I can only hope she can forgive me, but I at least want her to know what happened.”
Silence fills the room, and I don’t like it. It makes me think of the pain, the loss, the look on her face when she first saw me. A night that was supposed to start our forever turned into our never it seems. I know there’s nothing I can say to her to make all her hurt and pain go away.
Jess sighs next to me. “She’s going to hate me for this, but she doesn’t even know I know where she lives. When she lost Remy, she couldn’t stay in y’alls place. Her sister was being a little less supportive at the time, so she moved to the middle of nowhere and away from everyone.”
She gives me the directions to her house. A strict warning of a real death if I did anything more to hurt her friend. Promising that nothing more would be done by me on purpose, she finally left my room. The minute the door shut, I jumped up and got in the shower. It was time to set the past straight. If anything, I’ll know where my future is going.
Thirteen
Waverly
Standing on my deck, I stare at the chair that I normally sit in. The chair that I mourned the death of a man that was never really dead. A man that I gave my whole heart to. A man that stopped me from loving a good man who may have stuck around if I had given it a wholehearted chance. I couldn’t though. All because I mourned the love that I lost so suddenly. The man that gave me a child that had been taken from me too.
Going to Dani’s last night was not a smart move. I should have just come here. She didn’t know what to do but call our parents. They know now how pathetic their youngest daughter truly is. What kind of fool does one person have to be to fall hopelessly in love with a man that only loved them for a moment? No one could understand where I was coming from.
“He’s alive,” my mother shrieks.
I stare at her dumbfounded at the slight happiness in her tone. Her daughter is here before her falling to pieces, and she’s finding happiness somewhere in this fucked up mess. Anger, my old friend, is starting to rise to the surface again.
“I’ve just told you the man that left me in the middle of the night, obviously couldn’t give two shits about me to leave me like that, has reappeared after Peter had told me he was dead. He left me to deal with a pregnancy alone and a death of my child alone. How in the hell is there even remotely a reason to be happy here?”
Everyone stops what they are doing to stare at me. Like I’m the one here having a problem. They didn’t suffer it all first hand. They didn’t think their lifetime love w
as talking about forever the night he left me desolate.
“Pumpkin,” my father starts to say but stops when I glare at him.
“Why? That’s all I want to know.”
“I mourned the loss of that boy just as you did only a lot later. He was a part of our family. I’m sorry if the thought of not having lost that little piece makes me a little bit relieved.” My mom says very carefully.
“He. Lied. To. Me.” I hiss.
“Why?” My father asks sternly.
“I don’t know. I told him what he left behind his selfish ass after I beat the shit out of him and left. I don’t care to see him again if my life depended on it.”
Dani sits next to me and takes my hand in hers. Rubbing her fingers back and forth across the top of my hand as she used to do when I was little and was upset, she looks at me with sadness.
“I know you are angry. You have every right to be. But you can’t deny the happiness you know is inside of you that he’s not really dead. Maybe the reason he left will help put all the pieces in place.”
Standing from the couch, I look at each member of my family in turn. “What pieces? He lied to me. He left me. He broke me. There’s nothing to figure out.”
“Honey, you’ll never find the peace you need until you have all your answers.” My father says softly, almost a bit of knowing underlying his tone.
“You don’t understand. None of you ever will.” I move toward the door. “I can’t do this anymore. I can’t.” Then I left the house and took off in my jeep.
When I left the house, I had no idea where I was going to go, but I just knew I needed out of the house. As it turns out, I end up at Hideaway and breaking down to Randal who listened to me intently as he kept refilling my drinks. He’d add his comments here and there, but he’s the first one to just let me get it all off my chest.
Now, I stand here on my deck, numb and drunk. Winter is here. No snow yet, but the bite in the air gives way to the knowledge that it is not far off. The air is crisp and freezes my lungs as I take deep breaths. The biting breeze causes goosebumps to spread across my skin and a chill to run the length of my spine.