First Love

by Amy Brent

  I almost had myself convinced that I was better alone but still sent Madeline a text asking her to have dinner with me on Friday night. I wanted to see her, and I cursed my willpower as she replied and told me that she was just leaving the hospital. I told her to get ready and come by my house, planning to take her to a restaurant just out of the city. I knew that I shouldn’t encourage this between us, but I couldn’t help it.

  When she arrived wearing a soft pink dress and heels, I smiled and told her how beautiful she looked. She did. I led her to the car after locking the garage and drove her to the steak place far enough out of Chicago that we might not be recognized. “No diner this time?”

  “I wanted to do something different. There’s this great place just a few miles down the road. It overlooks a river and brings me a lot of peace.” I smiled as I saw the sign just up ahead, pulling into the lot once we approached it.

  “It’s cute,” Madeline told me as I opened her door for her, leading the way to the restaurant. They knew me here and sat us at a window overlooking the wide river with the boats floating on the waves in the marina. I ordered wine for us and we both ordered the combo plate before she gazed out of the window. “It is peaceful here.”

  “How was the rest of your week? I didn’t call you because I was working insane hours and just sleeping on my time off. I knew that you had a hard time in the first part of the week as well. I thought you might need space.” I looked at her as she considered my words, sipping her wine.

  “I did to a degree. Everyone helped at the hospital since they knew it was my first big tragedy and I spoke to my mom a lot. While that was nice, I also liked sleeping in your arms that night.” She spoke carefully and looked at me as I shuffled my feet under the table.

  “I enjoyed that. It was different than before with us. Intimate.” I tried to form my thoughts as I reached for my wine.

  “I thought that you might not call again,” Madeline pressed as I ran a hand through my hair. “I know that this isn’t forever with you, Declan. I just like the time that we spend together. I know that I could never replace your wife and I’d never want to.”

  “You couldn’t. This is completely different than that was.” I pressed my lips together, trying to form words as our plates were set before us. “I was making my way through life with her, wondering what else it was I wanted. I loved Laura but all we had was our jobs. We spent great time together but there wasn’t enough of it. Then she was gone, and I was reeling, feeling so many different things inside. I stayed away from any women apart from that one night and focused on work. Then I bumped into you and something changed in me…something that I’m scared of. I know that I can’t rush this with you, but I don’t want to lose it.”

  “I understand.” Madeline smiled and let out a breath. “I kind of feel the same way. I want to focus on work, but all of this is such a great escape from that. You’re a good man, Dec. I’m not asking for forever from you. I just feel strongly towards you.” She smiled shyly and took a bite of her lobster, moaning through it as my cock hardened. I needed to tone that down until we were at least back to my place.

  We enjoyed some light chatter over the meal, moving away from the shop talk. I enjoyed that she liked to talk about her family and not just being a nurse. There was some depth to her that a lot of women didn’t possess. It made me want her even more.

  We finished eating and picked up some dessert on the way home at a local bakery. I unlocked my door and followed her inside as she walked right up to my room with the cupcakes in her hand. I made a detour to the kitchen and grabbed water to take up with me, finding her standing barefoot at my window and looking over the landscape. “You okay?” I asked as she turned to look at me over her shoulder.

  “I am. It’s so pretty here,” Madeline turned to walk towards me, meeting my lips with hers softly as I pulled her closer. We made our way to the bed slowly before undressing and kissing again. I pulled her over me and cupped my hand in her hair to hold her mouth over mine as she met my tongue. Her heat was pressing against my stomach with my cock resting against her ass as we made out, both getting more aroused with each moment. I turned her over to kiss her neck and down to her pert nipple, sucking lightly as she reached her hands into my hair. I drew her between my teeth as my tip slipped against her pussy, moving slightly inside. We both froze for a moment before she pulled me up for a kiss, whispering to take her. “I am on the pill. I have been for a while, but I didn’t want you to assume that.”

  I drove myself inside, warmed by her gripping heat as I moaned. Madeline felt amazing this way and I stilled to memorize it for a moment before I looked into her eyes and started moving with earnest. We rocked together, sliding skin against skin as we searched for our release. Madeline let go first, clawing my back and shaking below me before I followed her, filling her with my heat as she gripped me. “Fuck, baby. That feels so good.”

  “It does,” she agreed, clinging to me as we both exploded inside. We relaxed together before drinking some water and settling ourselves on the pillows to eat a cupcake. I turned on the TV and smeared some of my chocolate frosting over her nipple playfully as Madeline raised an eyebrow at me. I leaned in to suck it off as she giggled and licked some of the strawberry frosting from her own treat. I made slow work of cleaning her skin, sucking every bit of chocolate from her skin before lulling away and licking my lips. Madeline laughed and scooped some of her own frosting off the cake and smearing it over my chest before she set it down and pounced on me. She crawled over me to suck the cream from my chest, licking and sucking gently as I held her body still over mine, setting my cupcake down with a free hand before she looked into my eyes. Madeline kissed me again, moving closer to my body as she rubbed her slick heat against my hardening cock. Madeline moaned and lifted her body to impale herself over me, groaning with the feeling.

  Madeline rocked over me slowly, angling herself to feel me deep inside of her. She dragged her nails down my chest as she found a particularly good angle and cried out my name. I started to slide up, meeting her movements until I watched her pinch her eyes closed as she came again. I followed as I fucked her trembling body and then dropped beside her. We stayed still for a while and then resumed eating our mutilated desserts, keeping our hands to ourselves this time as we exchanged long looks. Madeline finished hers and balled the wrapper up on my night stand before taking another drink of her water. “You have worn me out, sir.”

  “Yeah,” I agreed vaguely as she curled up under the covers and smiled. I leaned over to kiss her hair and she reached out to touch me, making me want her again. I told myself to let her sleep and that I could wake her up in the morning as she closed her eyes and I watched the late show on television for a while until I shut the TV off and turned towards Madeline, yawning as I closed my eyes.

  Chapter 17

  Madeline

  I woke up to the feeling of a mouth between my legs, licking through my folds as I blinked. I looked around the sunlit room and then down to see Declan under the blankets as he busied himself with his lips. I smiled and propped myself up against the pillows to watch him, feeling desire spreading through my body as he sucked my clit into his mouth. Declan made me come within a few moments and crawled back up my body before rolling into his back. I smiled and reached over to muss his hair as he smiled at me. “Good morning, beautiful.”

  “That was quite a way to wake up,” I told him as I tried to see his whole body under the sheet. “I don’t know whether to crawl on top of you or return the favor.”

  “I’d be happy with either one…or perhaps both?” Declan replied, raising his brow wickedly. I laughed and moved to dip my head under the covers, taking him into my mouth and sucking slowly until he was close to coming. At that point, Declan pushed me forward onto my knees and took me from behind, holding me still as he fucked me. I feel to my side once we were done, wanting to just go to sleep again. Declan told me that he was going to make us some coffee and I nodded and made some noise to ackno
wledge him as I watched him leave the room.

  I was in over my head, but I never wanted to come up for air at this point. While Declan was my first, he was also a major part of my life and I sighed. How could this end any way but badly? I rolled over and made my way back to the pillows, feeling like jello as I propped myself up on the pillows and crawled under the covers. I smelled the scent of the coffee as I looked through the large windows and took in the clouds. I had to work the night shift and that gave me a few hours here before days could pass again before I had Declan like this. I heard him on the stairs and he entered the bedroom carrying large mugs of coffee with his shorts that he’d slipped on hanging low at his hips. “How are you in your forties?” I asked him grumpily as Declan set one of the cups beside me and sipped his.

  “I guess I took care of myself. I’m not seventy, Madeline.” Declan laughed as he got back into bed while I mentally counted the years that were between us. “Does it bother you that I’m older?”

  “I…well, we have different lives. Mine is just beginning and you’ve suffered so much loss. You’ve lived. Does that bother you?” I asked as I reached for my cup.

  “You’re an old soul, Madeline. I don’t see you as being all that younger than me. You’ve suffered loss in your life as well.” He searched my face as I frowned, sipping the delicious coffee.

  “This is good. Thank you,” I told him as I thought back to my life. “I guess I did deal with loss. My dad left, and my mom had to play both roles. She is the reason I am here today.”

  “Exactly,” he said as I smiled. “Are you hungry? We can make some breakfast before you have to be at work.”

  “You work early shifts this week?” I asked as he nodded. Totally separate.

  “You’re on nights?” He asked, and I nodded. “We’ll have dinner next weekend. I have Saturday off. How about you?”

  “It’s the saving grace to my schedule,” I replied as he grinned.

  “We’re on then.” We sipped our coffee until we rose to cook some food, both knowing that we did this to stay private. If we showed up to a local cafe with bed hair, the talk would be sure to start. I glanced at him cracking eggs for an omelet as he looked up at me. I smiled and offered to help with something, not wanting to say my thoughts aloud. We sat down to eat, and I changed into my uniform to leave to go home, reminding myself to throw some clothes into the wash before work as I remembered that I only had one clean set of pants and a shirt left for today. I packed my things into my large purse and walked downstairs to see Declan working at his table on a laptop.

  “I’m going to head home and get ready. Have a good week.” I smiled at him as he glanced over at me, pushing the chair back to walk over to me.

  “Maybe I’ll see you in the hospital.” He said before leaning down to kiss me. I smiled against his lips and secretly hoped so since not seeing this gorgeous man for a week was tough to imagine.

  I walked out to the car and started the engine, letting it warm up in the cooler weather. I glanced up to see that it was more than likely going to storm tonight and backed out of the long driveway to go home. Once there, I showered and got ready for work before throwing a load of laundry into the washer to dry when I got home much later. I pulled my hair into a messy bun and just added some mascara and gloss before heading out the door to work. It was starting to rain now so I chose a spot close to the entrance before making the mad dash inside.

  Someone had decorated for Thanksgiving in the last twenty-four hours and I glanced around at the pumpkins and turkeys that decorated the counters. I didn’t even have a tree yet for my house. I wasn’t even thinking about it because I knew that Mom would go all out. She always had.

  I put my stuff into my locker as I imagined decorating a tree with Declan at his house. He had the space for such a beautiful tree, but he might not even want to celebrate the holidays having just lost his wife. I shook my head and closed the locker to go see what was happening in the ER.

  There were the usual car accidents from the weather but most of the injuries were minor. There were also a few kids in due to sickness or injury and I enjoyed helping them. There was something sweet about it and I got on well with those kids when I assisted the doctors. It was dark and cold when my shift ended, and I pulled my jacket around me as I hurried to my car. I drove home in the strong wind and made it home before closing and locking my door. I took a shower immediately and dressed in a long-sleeved shirt before crawling into bed to get some sleep.

  I woke up in the afternoon and listened as the rain hit the roof of my house. Staying home tonight sounded so much better than going out on the rain. I rose and made coffee and braided my hair into a fancy over the shoulder plait as I sipped it, deciding to grab a burger on the way to work. I didn’t feel like cooking. I pulled out my maroon scrubs and went with a dark lipstick and mascara today. I thought about Declan for a moment as I walked out to my car a bit early to grab dinner, feeling like the weekend was going to take forever to get here. I love my job. I worked hard in school to do this. Don’t let a man get in the way of that, especially one that might not even be available.” I chanted as I drove to the closest drive thru for something quick to eat before my shift. I sat in the car and ate the burger and fries in the rain, watching the sirens of the ambulance at the door as I yawned.

  I got out and went in, happy to hear that some of the shooting victims were released today. The news had been checking up but not as aggressively as that first day. I checked the rooms to see what was free, entering them into the computer so we’d be ready for anything. I made sure they were sterile and clean and made my way to the main desk to greet Kelly. “Hi.” I smiled at her as she looked me over.

  “How is your gym buddy?” Kelly asked as I shook my head while Holly walked up to us.

  “What gym buddy?” She asked as I looked at her in surprise.

  “I met some guy at the gym and Kelly seems to think I should be picking out china patterns or something. It’s silly,” I waved my hand in the air and laughed. “We all know that we spend eighty percent of our time here.”

  “That is true, but you have to make every moment away from this prison count.” Kelly winked at me as I laughed and glanced around for a moment. I didn’t know when Declan got off work, but I’d love just a peek of him for a moment. He was nowhere in sight. The phone rang, and we were told that a car accident victim was on the way in with a little girl and I went outside to wait with the doctor on staff. She was kind to the patients and I was learning a lot from her. The mother and daughter came in separate ambulances and I followed the six-year-old with my doctor and we checked her vitals in the room. She had a few bruises and a bump on her head, so the doctor told her that we were going to keep her overnight to keep an eye on her. We moved her to the pediatric section and I went with her to get her settled in since we’d bonded.

  I was on my way back to the ER when I saw Declan standing at a station talking to another doctor and paused to stare for a moment. He looked good and I licked my lips as I leaned against the wall, pretending to read something as I stole looks at him. He left and walked away from me and I sighed as I continued to the ER.

  The night was slow until my shift ended, and I helped with paperwork and cleaning the rooms again. I left after telling the girls good night and made my way back home for another shower and bed.

  Rinse, lather, and repeat. It might be nice to have someone to come home to cuddle with and I turned on my small TV to watch something until I fell asleep.

  The week moved on and I left work early Friday morning to see a text from Declan asking about dinner the following night. I replied with the answer of yes and headed home to sleep.

  Finally, it was Saturday and I was going home for a full day and a half before another shift. I planned to sleep and wake up to get ready for dinner in time enough to have a few hours to get ready. I had a hard time falling asleep at the idea of seeing Declan again and feeling him inside of me, smiling as I rolled to my back to slip my hand dow
n my pants to take care of it, so I could sleep. I was getting far too good at this now and I cursed Declan for a moment as I closed my eyes, biting my lip as I felt the release rush through me.

  I woke up to my alarm and stretched, tempted to sleep some more until I remembered what I was doing tonight. I rose and made some coffee before taking a long shower and drying my hair straight. It was cold outside, so I dressed in black tights and a green dress with boots. I grabbed a jacket and some stuff for the morning, wishing that we could go out for a quick lunch tomorrow as I sighed.

  I headed to my car and drove over to Declan’s, parking in the driveway before I got out and hurried to his door. He opened it wearing a pair of black slacks and a burgundy Henley and I threw myself into his arms as he held me. “I missed you.” I hated saying the words, but I couldn’t help it.

  “I missed you, too.” He closed the door and tugged me closer to him as I lifted my mouth to kiss him. “How was your week?”

  “Good. Long. I hate working nights so many days in a row. I remember when Mom did that and I’d barely see her during the day.” He smelled good, like soap and the outdoors and I inhaled him as he kissed me again.