The Adventures of Phineas Frakture

by Joseph Gatch

  “That is a very harsh perspective,” said Phineas. “William is a friend and I wouldn’t see him come to harm.”

  “Then you are a fool. He will turn on you.”

  Phineas mulled her words over in his head. He had made no progress in finding a way to rid William of his Dolonite malady and, though he would say otherwise, William had begun to show signs of rising aggression, irritability, and memory loss. Phineas kept his suspicions to himself, especially from Abigail and Mrs. Popkiss. There were a few nights when he had been summoned to William’s apartment, where the police had found William in a state of disarray, looking as if he had been in altercations. He feared that time was running out for his friend, and Ashira’s reaction to William reinforced his fears.

  They finally came to a set of large doors, which opened before them without a touch. Phineas was still marveling at how this happened when Ashira spoke up, and he realized that they were no longer alone.

  “Another of the kraken men has breached the sanctuary,” Ashira stated in an authoritative tone. “This surface man saved my life as it tried to abduct me.”

  One of the men in the room, dressed in a white robe, similar to the other four present, replied. “Has Nemo returned, then?”

  Ashira pushed Phineas forward, much to his displeasure at being wrenched from his study of the room. “Nemo?” Phineas asked. “I have no idea who that is. Is he another fish person?”

  “If you are not of Nemo’s crew, then who are you?” asked another of the ministers.

  “The name is Frakture. Professor Phineas Frakture of New York. My friends and I were pulled under the water by a giant fornicating air kraken…which sounds as unpleasant as it was.”

  “You are a scholar, then?” asked a third.

  “Yes. Very scholarly, and I have a lecture to give in London in a few days’ time, so if you could allow us a way out of here, we would be most grateful.” Phineas tried to add a smile, but just ended up looking like he had bitten his tongue.

  “You are free to leave; however, we are in need of outside assistance,” stated the first minister.

  Ashira put her hand on Phineas’ shoulder, sending a not-too-unpleasant shiver down his spine. He felt elated to just be around the woman—a phenomenon that he felt demanded further study.

  “Allow me to explain,” she said. “Our kingdom has been overtaken by these creatures. As I said, we have lived in peace for ages. We were taken unaware by these kraken men when they first arrived, thinking that they were a new and wonderful species. They quickly took over with huge machines at their disposal, and now, they are holding the city…and my father hostage.”

  “Wait,” interrupted Phineas, “you mean that this isn’t Atlantis?”

  Ashira laughed. “This? This is an outpost that many of us were able to flee to and secure. We need help to retake our city and drive these kraken men away. That is why our ministers were anxious to know if you were with the mighty Captain Nemo, a surface dweller who has befriended us in the past.

  “In order to get you to the surface, we need to retake the city. This is where our long range craft are held. The ships we have here are not capable of the journey you desire. So,” she drew closer to Phineas, who could barely control an involuntary trembling, “if you help us…we can help you.”

  Without hesitation and quickly jumping away from the princess, Phineas shouted a resounding “Yes!”

  “Excellent,” clapped the second minister, totally oblivious to Phineas’ discomfort. “Now, if you do not mind, we will enter the sacred sanctorum and perform the mashala-ri.” He and the four other ministers filed out of the room and into an adjacent chamber. Ashira took Phineas by the arm, sending a chill through him, and guided him there as well.

  The room was amazing, to say the least. It was circular and arched upwards two stories high into a dome. The entire surrounding wall was alive with clockwork illuminated with various shades of blue and green iridescence. As Ashira stopped Phineas in front of the five ministers, they began chanting in a language Phineas did not recognize, but that sounded much like the one Ashira had spoken when they first met. His eyes began following the path of the clockwork, studying where each gear intermeshed with the next.

  When he was about halfway through the room, he heard Ashira say ‘yes’, and then one of the ministers asked, “And what say you, Phineas Frakture of New York?”

  Phineas, totally oblivious as to what was going on, had gone into his own version of autopilot and said, “Yes…yes…sure.”

  “Then, I now make you Comptala to Princess Ashira,” stated the minister with a smile.

  Ashira quickly wrapped her arms around Phineas’ neck and kissed him. “Thank you! You have made me very happy!”

  Phineas, taken by surprise, looked at her with mixed shock, elation, and dread. “I think…that I should return to my friends,” he finally said.

  “Yes,” Ashira replied. “Go to your friends and tell them the good news. We will make preparations for informing the people.”

  Phineas wandered back to the rooms in a daze, completely ignorant of his surroundings. He opened the door to William’s room, and found William and Abigail sitting and talking. They quickly quieted as Phineas entered. Abigail was the first to speak when she noticed that Phineas wasn’t saying anything.

  “Well? Are we getting out of here? What’s going on and what took you so long?”

  Phineas looked at her, and Abigail could see the terror in his eyes. He swallowed and said the last words she expected to hear. “I think I just got married.”

  EPISODE

  5

  Abigail glared at Ashira’s back as the princess and Phineas disappeared down the corridor. “I don’t trust her,” she said to William, who was still nudging the dead kraken man with his toe.

  “Phineas seems to be enamored by her. I can honestly say that I have never seen him like that,” answered William.

  “It’s like she has him under a spell. What do you make of fish-face down there?”

  William knelt down and examined the body. “I’m no doctor, or fisherman, but I wouldn’t call this natural evolution. I’ve heard about eugenic experiments being performed in secret. It’s rumored that Grant has an interest in finding, or building, perfect soldiers. England is well known for their abominations.” His hand unconsciously rubbed his chest. “Of course, we know first-hand about mutations.”

  “Say no more about that,” Abigail said, putting her hand on his shoulder. William looked up at her with a sad expression. “Come on. Let’s get my arm fixed up.” She pulled him to his feet with her good hand. “You can figure out how to sauté that thing later.”

  Shortly after William and Abigail entered William’s quarters, the door opened and a male with similar coloring to Ashira entered. He was well-muscled with chiseled features and flowing blue-black hair. He set a tray down on the table, bowed, and left without a word.

  William looked over at Abigail, who sat with her mouth hanging open, staring at the door. “You have some drool on your chin,” he said.

  “Wha…?” Abigail shook her head and wiped her chin. “Wow. Was he the most gorgeous thing you have ever seen?”

  “Hardly. I have a feeling that these people have either some sort of mesmeric ability or a pheromone affecting the opposite sex. That would explain Phineas’ attraction to Ashira and what just happened now.”

  “Since when did you become the rational one?” Abigail punched his arm as she got up to retrieve the bandages the man had brought. She looked at the bowls containing some sort of stew that were also on the tray. “Not steak, that’s for sure.”

  William tied a sling over her shoulder and secured it to her body. “It looks like you just banged it pretty good. You should keep it immobilized for a day or two.”

  “And you said that you weren’t a doctor,” she teased. “Thank you, good sir. Now we may dine on squid-man soup.”

  “Delicious,” William replied, eyeing the bowl suspiciously.

&n
bsp; Once they finished eating, William reached into his duffel bag and pulled out a small present. “I’d hate for you to think that you were forgotten about, way down here under the ocean.”

  Abigail’s eyes lit up at the sight. “To be honest, I almost forgot myself with all that has been going on. Thank you, William.” She took the present and gave him a peck on the cheek, making him blush. Abigail pulled the ribbon and unwrapped the gift. “Oh, you shouldn’t have,” she said as she lifted a small piston hammer from the box.

  “It’s for those more delicate fixes. These small versions are hard to find. I should know,” said William.

  “It’s perfect. Thank you.” She turned it over in her hands and sighed. “Do you think that he’ll remember?”

  William hesitated for a moment. “I’m sure he will. I know that Mrs. Popkiss has threatened to organize his lab if he doesn’t. Don’t worry, he might surprise you yet.”

  They talked a while until, finally, the door opened, and Phineas walked in. Abigail noticed that something wasn’t right about him and had to prod him to actually speak.

  “Well? What’s going on? Are we getting out of here?”

  Phineas went white as a sheet. “I think I just got married,” he said.

  “YOU WHAT???!” Abigail’s voice boomed in the tiny room, making the two men cringe in fear.

  “They asked us for help…so that they could help us…I agreed…they started reciting in some strange language…she said she did, I said I did…she kissed me and…”

  “You got married,” finished William, barely able to contain his amusement.

  Phineas suddenly reached into his pocket, pulled out a box, and held it out to Abigail. “Happy birthday. I got this for you,” he said meekly.

  Abigail stood up, fuming, walked past Phineas and slapped the box from his hand just before she slammed the door behind her.

  “I didn’t know her veins could stick out that far,” William finally said after what seemed like an eternity of silence.

  “Bad timing?” asked Phineas.

  “I would say so. Married, huh?”

  “Yes.”

  “To the princess?”

  “Looks like it.”

  “So that would make you…?”

  “In much deeper trouble than we already were,” said Phineas.

  “I would have to agree. What do we have to do to get out of this trouble?”

  Phineas told him what the ministers and Ashira had said.

  “So there are more of those things swimming around out there?” asked William. “How are we going to take a city away from them? We’re under the ocean and, the last I checked, you don’t have gills and neither do I…at least not yet, anyway.”

  “They really didn’t go into detail. I’m assuming that they have some sort of army out here, but they seem to be more scholars than soldiers. At least I know that the kraken men will go down with a jolt from the tesla rod,” said Phineas reassuringly. “Maybe we can fashion a tesla gun if they have the parts.”

  “I wouldn’t bet on it. They seem to be a bit Spartan around here. Now, on to a more pressing matter; what are you going to do about hurricane Abigail and the missus?”

  “The hurricane will blow itself out, eventually. We can only wait until she stops seeing red. And the other issue…maybe I’ll get lucky and a shark will eat me.”

  The door opened; however, instead of Abigail, an Atlantean male entered. This one was much younger than the last one and had much shorter hair.

  “Good day. I am glad to see that you are better after your ordeal. When I retrieved you from the kraken’s grasp, I wasn’t sure that you would survive,” he said. “I am Milos, cousin to Ashira, whom I believe you have met.”

  “You? You rescued us?” asked Phineas. “But you’re just a kid.”

  “I am forty-seven years old by your calendar, but down here, yes, that is still young.”

  “You’re forty-seven? Then how old is Ashira?” asked William.

  “She is ninety-two, but if you ask her, she will tell you seventy-nine. She is a bit vain about her age,” stated Milos.

  “I didn’t know you liked them that old,” William poked Phineas.

  Phineas ignored his friend. “Just how, may I ask, did you manage to rescue us and bring us down here? Do you have a submersible?” he asked.

  “I was out swimming when I saw you being dragged by the kraken. I just untangled you and brought you down.”

  “That is scientifically impossible,” Phineas said. “The pressure would crush us without some form of life support…unless, we are not that deep.”

  “Oh, we are at the ocean bottom, though not the deepest part. There are things that you surface dwellers do not understand about Atlanteans. I am sure, in time, that you will see our differences.”

  “Besides the blue skin, you mean,” said William.

  Milos smiled. “One of our more endearing traits. Now, if you are ready, the ministers would like you to meet with our people.”

  Phineas and William got up, but before they took two steps, Milos put up his hand. “Just you, professor. Your…friend…should stay here.”

  “He comes with me,” said Phineas. “If anyone has a problem with it, then too bad.”

  Milos looked at William with disdain. “Very well. Follow me.”

  The duo held back a bit, and William asked what that had been about.

  “They can sense your Dolonite malady and think you’re a threat,” Phineas told him.

  “Maybe I am,” replied William in a resigned tone. “It’s been getting harder and harder to control myself. I have been having blackouts and finding myself in different places; people tell me that I have been in fights that I don’t remember. More times than you know…times that I haven’t told you about. I’m afraid that I am losing this battle.”

  Phineas looked at him. “Why did you keep it from me?”

  “You’re not a doctor, and you can’t solve every problem with a wrench and a slide rule.”

  “I am still researching a cure. I have others looking into it as well. There’s a doctor in London that I plan to meet with when we are there. Be patient.”

  “I have been. That’s all I can be. If you can’t fix this, then I’ll have to find someone who can.”

  “Like who?” asked Phineas.

  “Like…” William stopped, knowing what he was going to say, but just as it came to mind, it slipped away just as quickly. “I don’t know, but there must be someone out there who can help.”

  “There is. We just have to find them. But for now, we have other things to deal with.”

  They caught up with Milos as he entered a doorway. As they passed through, they stopped cold as the amphitheater-sized room they stepped into erupted in applause given by hundreds of Atlanteans.

  EPISODE

  6

  “Ah, my adoring fans,” said William as they were bombarded by the applause of hundreds of Atlanteans. “Why are they clapping again? I don’t recall us doing anything extraordinary lately.”

  “I think that they put too much faith in us,” Phineas responded as he looked around at the gathering. A sea of blue-green looked down on them as they were led onto a dais where the ministers waited. Several Atlantean maidens approached the pair and hung wreaths of colorful sea leaves and shells around Phineas’ neck; however, as they approached William, they quickly shied and hurried away.

  “I am going to start taking this personally real soon,” William said into Phineas’ ear. His friend responded by removing several of his wreaths and putting them around William’s neck.

  “Better?” asked Phineas with mock sarcasm.

  “Yes, much better.”

  The ministers held up their hands for silence and then, as one, the congregation went down on one knee and bowed their heads.

  “Now this is going too far,” stated William, who then received an elbow in his side from Phineas as his attention was directed to Ashira entering the auditorium. “Oh.”


  Reluctantly, they both joined the congregation’s example. Although their nation was governed by an emperor, Americans still believed themselves to be equals and never kneeled, bowed, or otherwise to any official in their country. Being that these people were their only means of reaching the surface, however, they felt it wiser to do as the Romans did, or in this case, the Atlanteans.

  “Rise,” Ashira said almost as quickly as the congregation had kneeled. “For too long, we have been removed from our home by the insidious kraken men. Though now, we have been brought a sign of our imminent return in the form of our visitors and my Comptala, Phineas Frakture.” The audience applauded but was silenced by Ashira’s hand. “We are not soldiers, but we will fight as one under the direction of the surface dwellers, who are far more adept at killing than we, the peaceful Atlanteans.”

  “Adept at killing? What did you tell them?” whispered William. “We never killed anything in our lives, except fish face back there, but you did that. I don’t know if I can do this.”

  “Hopefully, we won’t have to do any killing…but if the time comes, just think of them as fish. Those things are more calamari then men,” said Phineas.

  “Comptala? Do you have any ideas for the return of our people?” asked Ashira.

  Phineas, suddenly put on the spot, hesitantly walked over to her. “Do you have a map of the city?” he asked.

  Ashira nodded to one of the ministers, who then flipped a switch on the wall. The fluorescence dimmed and then several hundred pinpoints of light from above began dancing around the dais. Faster and faster they moved until a three-dimensional schematic of a domed city coalesced in the center of the stage. Phineas and William circled the ‘light model’ in awe, and William wiped his hand through it, surprised that it had no substance. Never before had anyone from above the sea seen this type of technology, and it was all Phineas could do to contain himself from ripping apart the room to figure out how it was created. Instead, he studied the layout in silence as he circled the image, while the audience seemed to hold their collective breath, waiting for his answer.