Since You've Been Gone

by Samantha Chase

  Grace nodded. “I did too. And the few times he did get in touch, it was like talking to a stranger, yet I still kept telling myself he would change, that he was going to come back and be my husband and be a father to you and Austin and Jackson. But he never did.”

  “How did you get through it?” Turning his head, he studied his mother’s profile. “How were you able to hold it together for all of us?”

  She let out a small laugh. “I cried a lot after you boys went to bed. But then I’d wake up every morning and know that I had to be strong. My children needed me and I couldn’t fall apart. Every once in a while, I’d get a random money order in the mail or just some cash with no return address, and I knew it was your father’s sorry way of trying to do the right thing. Your great-grandfather was the real hero, though. He didn’t support us–not outright–but he always made sure we never went without. Ezekiel Coleman was one in a million.”

  “Yeah, Pops was the best. I know I wouldn’t be…well…I don’t think I could have gone to college and done any of it without his help.”

  Beside him, his mother nodded. “He used to tell me that he saw so much potential in you boys and how he refused to let Cash rob you of it. He said your father robbed all of us of so much of our lives.” She sniffled. “I hate saying that because he is still your dad and I shouldn’t say bad things about him, but…”

  Garrett took one of her hands in his. “You never said anything bad when we were growing up and you allowed us to form our own opinions and that was incredibly gracious of you. But the reality is that there aren’t any nice things to say about him. There’s no excuse for what he did to us or how he treated us–or should I say forgot about us–so you say whatever it is that you feel, Mom. You’re entitled to.”

  “While I know that’s true, I can’t help but feel responsible for the way things went. If I never married Cash…”

  “Then me and Austin and Jackson wouldn’t be here,” he reminded her. “And maybe that would have been better for everyone…”

  “Never,” she said, her hands both gripping his now, her tone and expression fierce. “The three of you are the best things to ever happen to me and it makes everything I went through worth it.” Then she let out a long breath. “But I hate how you all had to suffer. So yes, occasionally I get down on myself about it and that’s what bothers Dominic. He reminds me how your father made his decisions without any thought to us and how we were innocent victims.” She shrugged. “I know he’s right, but he also doesn’t fully understand. His wife died young, and he was left to raise his four kids alone. Technically, we were both single parents who had to learn how to be both mother and father to our children with little or no notice. The only difference is that his wife couldn’t come back. Your father could and chose not to.”

  “Damn, Mom.”

  “I know,” she said sadly.

  “I feel bad that I brought any of this up and ruined your night.”

  She was quiet for several moments before giving his hand a gentle squeeze. “All I was trying to say, Garrett, is to be careful. I know you always had feelings for Emmaline and no one’s telling you not to. But you had feelings for a young girl many years ago. She’s a grown woman now and before you go turning both your lives upside down, make sure you’re seeing her for the woman she truly is and not the woman you built her up to be.”

  Wow.

  That was something he hadn’t considered.

  As much as he’d enjoyed seeing her the last two evenings and catching up on each other’s lives, was he seeing her in the right way?

  He had a feeling he’d be thinking about that for a long time to come.

  5

  “Em! I’m taking the Wilsons into the office to do their adoption paperwork!” Christine called out on Sunday afternoon. “Can you please get the rest of these guys rounded up and into the barn? It looks like rain!”

  “No problem!” Emma looked around the yard and counted ten dogs, including Axel. He was dancing around her legs and she loved it even though it broke her heart that no one picked him today. “They weren’t the right family for you, but don’t worry, we’ll find them someday.” With a sigh, she started walking across the yard. Most of the dogs were settled back in the big barn. This little group had been out scampering around because the Wilsons weren’t sure which dog they wanted. It was nice that they were adopting an older dog–Biscuit was a seven-year-old Labrador–but she hated how the rest of these guys still needed to find their forever homes.

  The sky was getting darker and she knew if she didn’t move fast, they would get rained on. So she made a game of it–calling out to each of them and offering incentives to get back to the barn. It was exhausting and she was feeling a little sweaty when she spotted Garrett jogging her way.

  Awesome.

  Groaning inwardly because she knew she was a mess, she did her best to smile as he got closer. “Hey!”

  “Hey, yourself,” he said when he reached her side. “It looks like they’re running you ragged out here.”

  “I’m trying to get the last of the dogs into the barn before the rain,” she explained. Glancing around, she did a count again and… “Oh, no!”

  “What? What’s the matter?”

  “I can’t find Axel! He was running along with me just a minute ago!” She began to run around and the other nine dogs finally listened and followed her into the building. Once she had the gate secured to keep them inside, she began running around calling out to Axel. Garrett was doing the same and she spotted him in the far corner by the gate leading to the new area she had shown him the other day.

  “The gate was partially open!” he called out to her and Emma’s heart dropped. There was a lot of property back there and most of it wasn’t fenced in. Axel was a small dog who could run quite fast when he wanted to–even with his bad leg. When she caught up to Garrett, they walked through the gate and locked it behind. They walked quickly down the path while calling out to Axel. “Has he ever taken off like this before?”

  “Never. He’s not like that.” She looked around frantically. “Axel! Where are you? Let’s go get a treat!” Then she wished she had thought to grab a handful of them back at the barn. When Garrett went to keep walking, she put her hand on his arm to stop him. “Shh…let’s listen for him.”

  It didn’t take long for them to realize they weren’t hearing anything that could remotely be the dog and started walking again. They checked out the few small buildings as they kept calling out to him, and with every minute that passed, Emma grew more and more upset.

  “What if he ran through the woods and out to the street? What if a bigger animal caught him? He’s just so little and…and…”

  Garrett stopped and wrapped his arms around her. “It’s going to be okay. We’re going to find him. I don’t think he could have gone that far.”

  The boom of thunder made them both jump and she could have sworn she heard him mutter a curse. It was only a matter of time before the rain…

  Emma looked up and got a raindrop right in the eye.

  Moving away from Garrett, she started walking again and calling out to Axel. Together they walked toward the new barn, and she had a feeling in another minute, they were going to need to take cover in there while praying this was going to be a short storm.

  “Axel!” Garrett called out. “Come on, boy! Let’s go home!” At the sound of his booming voice, it was like the sky opened up. The rain came down hard and fast, and before Emma knew it, Garrett had her hand in his and they were running toward the barn. The large doors were open so they could go directly inside, but they were both breathless. “Are you okay? I didn’t mean to drag you like that.”

  Wiping the moisture from her face, she shook her head. “I’m fine. Really. I just don’t know how we’re going to find Axel.” She stood as close to the opening as she could without getting wet and looked out. The sound of the rain meant it was doubtful the dog would hear her calling his name, and she felt utterly defeated.

/>   Garrett stepped in close behind her and rested his hands on her shoulders. “Has Ed moved any supplies in here yet?”

  Glancing over her shoulder, she frowned. “Like what?”

  “Umbrellas? Maybe some towels or blankets or tarps that we can use to protect us from the rain so we can keep looking?”

  “Oh, um…I’m not sure.” Together they turned and began walking around the barn and looked in every nook and corner for anything they could use. A lot more stuff had been moved into the space than she realized, but most of it wasn’t of any use to them right now–lots of straw, dog food, harnesses and leashes, but nothing to use for cover. “I am going to go make sure to tell them to move that stuff over next,” she murmured.

  “Em?” Garrett called out from the other end of the barn.

  “Yeah?” she replied even though she was determined to find something to use.

  “Can you come here for a minute?”

  It was on the tip of her tongue to ask him to simply tell her what he saw rather than making her stop what she was doing, but Emma was far too polite to do it. With a sigh, she walked over and found Garrett crouching in the corner. “What’s going on?”

  He moved and motioned for her to come closer.

  And that’s when she saw him.

  Axel. Sleeping in a small pile of straw.

  “That little stinker,” she whispered as she knelt down beside him. And for the first time in several minutes, she felt like her heartbeat was returning to normal.

  “He must have run in here before the rain because he’s completely dry,” Garrett said softly as he moved to sit on the concrete floor. “If you’re up for running in the rain, we can get him back to the other barn and get you back to the house.”

  It was tempting, but the thought of being soaked to the skin and trying to peel out of wet denim wasn’t the least bit appealing. “If you’ve got someplace to be, don’t worry about us. I’m going to hang out here for a few minutes and hope the rain passes.” Then she awkwardly maneuvered herself so she was sitting beside him.

  “My plan was to hang out here this afternoon and visit some more with Ed since I didn’t get to the other day.”

  “He’s feeling much better,” she told him. “Mom says that every once in a while the pain just comes out of nowhere and puts him out of commission. That’s why they’re finally doing the surgery. I still don’t know how we’re going to manage without him for six months.”

  “Six months? The recovery is that long?”

  She nodded. “He’ll be up and around before that, but he won’t be able to lift or do anything too strenuous for a while. I have a feeling he’s going to push the limits on that and make the doctors crazy.”

  “I know I would,” Garrett said with a laugh. “I don’t think I could just sit back and watch everyone else work while doing nothing. Everything just feels wrong if I’m not busy.”

  “Sounds like you,” she teased, nudging his shoulder with hers. They sat in companionable silence for a few minutes before it started to get to her. “So…you head back to Norfolk tomorrow, right?”

  “Yup. I’ll probably leave by lunchtime. My mom’s working, and I’m just going to grab breakfast with Austin and Mia. Jackson’s already back on base today.”

  “How did everything go yesterday? Did the groundbreaking go okay?”

  He nodded. “It was kind of fun. We each had a shovel and dug up a small spot before the big equipment moved in. Then we had a picnic lunch and hung out until it got too loud.” He laughed again. “I don’t think my mom and Mia really thought that part through. We ended up moving everything to Austin and Mia’s rental place on the beach and spent the rest of the day together. All in all, it was a good day.”

  “That sounds nice. It was a good weekend.” She smiled at him and he was looking at her and in an instant, something changed. Maybe it was the air or maybe she was imagining things, but…suddenly everything felt different. Garrett’s expression went from smiling to a much more somber one and she felt her own smile fading. “Garrett…?”

  “I swore I wasn’t going to do this,” he murmured even as he moved closer.

  “Do…do what?”

  “This,” he whispered right before his lips touched hers.

  For a moment, Emma was too stunned to react, but when one of his hands reached up and gently caressed her jaw, she was lost.

  Her response was slow–shy–but it didn’t take long for her to simply sink into it and melt into Garrett. His other hand reached up and cupped her face but he didn’t attempt to take the kiss any deeper. It was like he was easing them both into it and it made her like him even more.

  Sweet sips, soft caresses…it was everything and yet…it wasn’t enough.

  Before she knew what she was doing, Emma’s hands reached out and gently gripped the front of his shirt to pull him closer. It was clearly the signal he was waiting for because one strong hand anchored up in her hair as he finally took the kiss deeper. His tongue teased at hers in a dreamy rhythm that still seemed to err on the side of caution. It had been so long since she’d been held or kissed that she was only willing to deal with being tentative for so long.

  It was her turn to let her hand wander up into his hair as she moved even closer–her breasts pressed against his chest–and she heard the low rumble of need coming from him. It made her feel powerful and wanted, and it was the greatest moment of her life. For years, Emma had lived with the knowledge that she wasn’t the kind of woman men went wild for and she had come to accept it.

  Until now.

  Now she knew that someone as attractive and sexy as Garrett Coleman could want her and it was a heady feeling.

  And she wanted more of it.

  It didn’t matter that they were sitting on the floor of a barn, and it didn’t matter that they were both wet from running in the rain. The way Garrett was kissing her said that none of that mattered. That he wanted to do this despite those things.

  Wow…

  Garrett’s hands left her face, her hair, and smoothed down her back, and Emma felt herself being lowered until her back gently hit the floor. Her own arms wrapped around him as they awkwardly maneuvered to get comfortable, and all the while, neither broke the kiss. If it were up to her, she’d never stop kissing him. Everything about him–his lips, his hands, his scent…everything was perfect and had her on sensory overload. She hummed with appreciation as he settled over her.

  And then the strangest thing happened…

  Garrett was kissing her–his lips on hers–but suddenly, something or someone was licking her forehead.

  Then she felt the cold little nose and realized Axel was trying to join in.

  Reluctantly, they broke the kiss and both turned their heads to look at the puppy whose tail was wagging back and forth excitedly like he was waiting for them to play with him.

  Dammit.

  Garrett rested his forehead against hers as he closed his eyes and Emma did the same as she silently prayed he wasn’t trying to come up with an excuse about why it was a mistake or how he maybe hadn’t meant to do it or…

  “Don’t do that,” he whispered.

  Her eyes went wide. “Do what?”

  “Frown,” he replied softly, placing a kiss on the tip of her nose before rolling off of her and scooping up a delighted Axel.

  Emma pushed herself to sit up. “I…I wasn’t frowning.”

  The look he gave her told her he wasn’t buying it. “Em, I was looking at you. Trust me. You were frowning.”

  “I was…thinking.”

  One dark brow arched as he continued to look at her. “About…?”

  Ugh…I totally left myself wide open for that.

  Huffing out a long breath, she answered honestly. “I was hoping you weren’t going to try to say how you didn’t mean to kiss me,” she murmured, unable to look directly at him.

  “I believe I gave you fair warning that I was going to kiss you, so…there’s no way I’d try to say I didn’t mean it.”<
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  Then she did look up at him and feared he’d see everything she felt in her expression. Swallowing hard, she asked, “But…why?”

  “Why did I give you a fair warning?”

  “No,” she said with a shy smile. “Why did you kiss me?”

  The simple answer to her question was that he wanted to.

  The complicated response would mean telling her how he’d wanted to do that since middle school.

  Probably best if I stick to the simple response for now…

  The puppy in his arms was demanding attention–licking Garrett’s face and biting his ear–but he did his best to focus on Emma. “I wanted to kiss you,” he said and watched as she looked at him with disbelief.

  “No, really,” she chided. “Did someone dare you? Or were you just feeling sorry for me?”

  Okay, now he’d had enough. He put the puppy down but kept one hand firmly on him so he couldn’t run away. “Why would you even think such a thing?”

  “Seriously? Um…look at me, Garrett. I’m hardly the kind of woman guys just can’t help but kiss! I never have been and I never will be! Hell, even my husband left me because I wasn’t enough for him! So excuse me if the thought of Mr. Hot Doc being so overcome with lust after getting stuck in a barn with me while I look like a drowned rat is a little hard to believe!” She jumped to her feet and walked back over to the opening to the outside. Axel squirmed to go after her, but Garrett scooped him up first so they could do it together.

  “I take offense to that on several levels, Emmaline,” he stated firmly when he was beside her. “For starters, I resent the Hot Doc comment. You know how much I hate that and how I’m not that guy. And I also resent the fact that you think I can’t want you just because you’re you!”

  The eye roll she gave him spoke volumes, but he was prepared for this.

  Sort of.

  Okay, not really.

  He honestly had no intentions of kissing her today, but once they were sitting there, he just couldn’t help himself. And in the back of his mind, he knew if he went home tomorrow without doing…something, that he’d regret it.