Drive

by Brenda Rothert

  I wondered for a second whether I should share this. Maybe he really would think I was crazy. But I’d come this far, so I continued.

  “I went to the cemetery one afternoon after school, to sit at their graves. That’s where I felt closest to them. I was sitting there thinking, ‘What can I do? Will I ever stop feeling this way?’ And I was filled with a sudden comfort. I knew in that moment that my parents and Seth were together, and that they wanted me to try to find happiness. People say the dead are always with us in a clichéd way. But this … I felt them with me. I felt them in my soul. It didn’t take away the loss of them, but … crazy or not, it was a spiritual moment.”

  I shrugged and met his gaze, which held no judgment. He gave a small nod of understanding.

  “I think that’s amazing,” he said.

  “I’ve never told anyone that,” I blurted.

  His eyes softened and he smiled. “That means a lot. Being the only one you shared it with.”

  The electricity in the air wasn’t from our physical attraction. This time, it was intimacy making me warm all over. Niko was right across the table from me, but he didn’t feel close enough. I wanted to be touching him — absorbing the warmth of his body and feeling the solid muscle that reminded me how strong this man was in every way.

  But for now, we were in restaurant, so my desire would have to wait.

  “My mom would’ve loved the book you gave me,” I said. “She had a collection of old books.”

  “What did your parents do for a living?”

  I smiled as I remembered frenzied mornings in our household, everyone trying to get dressed and off for the day.

  “Dad owned a marketing firm, and Mom was an English teacher.”

  Niko arched his brows and smiled. “Did you get your love of writing from her?”

  I nodded. “And a love of reading, too. I have some of her books. Those I can handle being around. But photos … that’s hard. It’s been ten years, and it’s still hard.”

  “What were your parents’ names?”

  “Carson and Laura.”

  His gaze was still focused on me, and when I met his eyes, the warmth radiating through me grew stronger.

  “I’m glad to know a little bit about them,” he said. “Makes me feel like I know you a little better.”

  “Thanks for asking about them. I don’t talk about them much, and it might come off like it’s because I don’t care, but—”

  He cut in. “I know. It’s the opposite. I’m starting to figure you out, Sadie. And the more I find out, the more I like you.”

  My cheeks warmed as I looked down at the table again. I felt the same way about him, but didn’t know how to say it.

  There was a moment of awkward silence before Niko changed the subject.

  “So fill me in on this trip to Ireland. When are you leaving?”

  “The day after tomorrow,” I said. “I didn’t know they’d want the story so quick, but they slated it for the February issue of the magazine.”

  “That’s pretty amazing. I got to play some hockey in Europe, but I’ve never been to Ireland.”

  I tried not to smile, but I felt it coming on anyway. Niko and I were having a conversation that wasn’t sarcastic or sexual. Not that I minded those conversations, but this was very real. Between showing up unannounced, his gift to me and his effort at getting to know me better, I felt special. And it was more than just nice – it was something I never wanted to let go of.

  We walked back to the apartment slowly, and I relished the quiet. When we got there, we both tossed our coats on a chair and I rubbed my hands together, which were freezing despite the gloves I’d worn.

  “Cold?” Niko asked, rubbing his hands together, too. His face was red from the biting wind.

  “Freezing.”

  “You got a good bathtub?”

  I furrowed my brow with confusion. “Yeah, why? You want to take a bath?”

  He smiled. “No I want us to take one. A really hot bath with some music playing and maybe some candles.”

  “That sounds good. Really good. I’ll go start the water.” I glanced back at him. “You can go ahead and get naked now.”

  I rounded up a few candles, a bottle of wine from the fridge and some bath oil in record time. I’d never done anything like this before, and my heart pounded with nervous anticipation.

  Niko started a playlist on his phone and undressed as steam swirled up from the bath water. I lost track of how much oil I was adding as I watched him drop his boxers to the floor. His body was like nothing I’d ever seen before. Every line was perfect and firm with muscle. And speaking of firm …

  “Uh, Sade …” He nodded at the bottle of oil and I tipped it up to stop pouring, my cheeks heating. I’d forgotten it was even in my hand.

  “Right.”

  The big claw foot tub had been a selling point for this small apartment, and I’d always appreciated it, but never as much as when Niko stepped in and sat down. He had to keep his knees slightly bent, but he fit okay. When he looked at me, the expectation and dark swirls of desire in his brown eyes made me feel the excited twist in my stomach that only he could cause.

  My body wasn’t as perfect as his, but it became so in my mind as I undressed. Seeing his reaction to every garment that slid to the floor made me feel incredibly sexy. I held his gaze for a few extra seconds before finding the courage to hook my thumbs into my panties and ease them down.

  He was breathing heavy, and my chest rose and fell with excitement. When he leaned forward to turn the running water off, he reached a hand up to help me step into the tub. I had a sudden worry about the logistics of this.

  “Do I … should I sit in front of you?” I asked.

  “Yeah.” His voice was low and sexy as he looked up at me. “Your back to my chest. Turn around.”

  I did, and before I could sit, his hands moved up the backs of my thighs to my ass, which he squeezed firmly, his groan the only sound in the bathroom. He leaned forward, his kiss on the back of my thigh making my insides liquefy with arousal. The brush of his long stubble against my bare skin was sinfully good.

  He squeezed my ass again, harder this time, and I couldn’t help moaning. Then his mouth moved higher and he sank his teeth into one cheek, nipping hard enough to draw the most erotic sting of my life. I braced a hand against the wall, and he slapped my other ass cheek hard, squeezing them both again.

  Fuck this bath. I was ready to run to the bed and spread my legs. I whimpered and bent slightly, silently begging him for more.

  “Can I fuck you here?” he asked, tracing his wet thumb down the crack of my ass.

  I cried out, my voice loud and shaky. “Yes. Please.”

  His laugh was a few deep notes of amusement. “Not yet,” he said, wrapping his hands around my hips to ease me down to a sitting position. “We have to work our way up to it. Right now I’m gonna clean you up, dirty girl. I know just where to start.”

  The hot water eased the sexual tension coursing through my veins, but it returned full force when I felt Niko’s erection against my back.

  I raised an arm and wrapped it around his head, weaving my fingers into his thick hair. He squeezed bath gel onto my chest and lathered it on my breasts, his fingertips teasing my nipples.

  “You’re ruining baths alone forever,” I murmured.

  “That’s only fair,” he said in my ear. “You’ve ruined everything else alone for me.”

  I wound my small foot around his ankle and tipped my head back against his chest. I’d never felt this level of closeness with anyone.

  “Are you mine, Sadie?” Niko asked, sliding his hands down my stomach.

  “I’d like to … ahh.” I couldn’t continue talking once his fingers slipped between my thighs. I circled my hips against him eagerly.

  “So fucking hot,” he said, pulling my earlobe between his teeth. “Fuck my fingers, baby.”

  The water was hot, and the air washing over my skin as I arched my back was c
ool in contrast. Niko moved his free hand around to cup one of my breasts, teasing my nipple with his fingertips. His other hand was bringing me to the brink of orgasm, and I whimpered as it hit.

  I pulled his hair, giving myself over to the wave of satisfaction. Niko knew just how hard and fast I needed it, and he kept going slowly even after I dropped my hips back down to the bathtub, creating smaller shockwaves of pleasure.

  “You didn’t make much progress with washing me,” I said, smiling lazily.

  “Maybe I decided I like you dirty.”

  “I most definitely like you that way,” I said.

  “I could spend a week straight in bed with you. I wish our fucking schedules weren’t so crazy.”

  “Me too. I’ll be home from Ireland January 6. Hopefully you won’t be gone then.”

  “Yeah, no shit.”

  “Mmm, I could take a nap right now,” I said. “I’m so relaxed.”

  “Go ahead.”

  “I’m warm now, though, so maybe we could take a nap in bed.”

  I felt Niko’s low laugh in his chest. “If we get in bed we won’t be sleeping.”

  “Maybe that’s my plan.” I closed my eyes, mustering my courage. “After that night in the bar, I dreamed about you playing with my ass.”

  “You did? And you didn’t tell me?”

  “It didn’t feel like the right time.”

  “So tell me what you dreamed. What do you want me to do to you?”

  This conversation was much easier like this, where he couldn’t see my face. “I never realized I wanted it until you said those things that night. I just want you there. Your fingers and tongue and … anything you want.”

  “Have you ever …?”

  “No. You’re the only one who’s ever even touched me there.”

  He nibbled the spot below my ear. God, I loved it when he did that.

  “I’ll make it good for you,” he said, his tone low and sexy. “We’ll go slow so it feels good when we get there. I love playing with your ass.”

  “Let’s go to bed,” I said, grabbing the side of the tub and standing up.

  Niko grabbed my hips and eased me around so I was standing before him, his face at the apex of my thighs.

  “Come closer to me,” he said. “And watch in the mirror.”

  I scooted a step forward and he lifted my leg gently, supporting me as he put my foot on the edge of the bathtub. I was about to ask what I was supposed to watch, when a jolt of pleasure shot through my body. Niko’s face was buried between my thighs, his tongue teasing my clit as his fingers sank into my ass cheeks.

  In my mirrored reflection, I saw my hands pulling on his hair and the tattoo on his massive bicep that was wrapped around my thigh. My expression was dreamy – I was lost to the overwhelming pleasure.

  Not only did Niko’s dark scruff and muscular body look incredibly sexy, I did, too. My hair hung long and loose down my bare back. With my back arched, my breasts stood out, full and round. We were two lovers wound around each other into one. Through the steam beginning to cloud the mirror, it was hard to discern where one of us ended and the other began.

  “Niko,” I cried, my legs shaking as I got closer to release. I was afraid I’d fall, but his arms wrapped around me tight and I shattered, tossing my head back as I came hard.

  He pulled his face back and looked up at me with a sexy smile. I couldn’t think of any words, so I just cradled his cheeks in my hands and smiled back.

  “And now you’ve ruined all other men for me, too,” I said.

  “That was my plan.”

  He stood, too, wrapping a towel around my back and offering me a steadying hand as I stepped out of the tub. I realized in that moment what set Niko apart from the rest. It wasn’t his dark, enviable looks, the money or even his magnetic personality. It was the way he put me first. Before himself even. His erection had practically put a hole in my back as he’d thought only of my body in the bathtub. And his small gestures – helping me out of the tub, holding doors open, putting my coat on for me – were constantly reminding me that he was looking out for me.

  The realization unnerved me. I’d been alone in the world for a long time. Aunt Sal had done her best, but she was fiercely independent and had gotten back to her executive world as soon as I’d finished high school. Having someone put me first should have thrilled me, but instead it scared the shit out of me. While I’d been searching for Mr. Right for years, the truth was I’d kept all those men at arms’ length. That was impossible with Niko.

  “You okay?” he asked, leaning down to kiss me. I tasted myself on his lips, and my insecurities floated away. Nothing would stop me from enjoying every second of this day.

  ***

  Niko

  Sadie climbed onto her bed and stretched lazily.

  “This feels so good,” she said, grinning.

  “It does,” I agreed, claiming the other side of the bed. Only I wasn’t talking about her pillow-top mattress like she probably was. This day was showing me how much Sadie meant to me. Making her happy — showing her there could be more to this day than just sadness – was bringing things into focus. I wanted this to be our first Christmas together. The first of many.

  “I think I’m gonna sleep for a while,” I said, closing my eyes. Her gasp made me smile. “What?” I turned my head toward her.

  “Nothing,” she said. “If you’re tired, you should rest. Maybe later we could …”

  “What?” I feigned innocence, enjoying her look of discomfort.

  “You know.”

  “Tell me. Say it.” I rolled onto my side, pulling the covers down so I could trace the line of her arm.

  “You know,” she said, looking away. “Don’t make me say it.”

  “Not a fan of dirty talk?”

  “I like it when you do it. I love it. But I’m not much on doing it myself.”

  “Does it turn you on?” I asked softly.

  “Yes.”

  I tugged lightly on one of her nipples and she sighed happily. “Say it.”

  “It turns me on when you talk dirty,” she murmured.

  “Good girl.” I leaned in to kiss her, taking in the almond scent of the bath oil on her skin. She slipped her tongue into my mouth immediately. Damn. She was eager for more, and I was more than fucking ready.

  “You want me to use a condom?” I moved her hair aside and kissed her neck and jaw line.

  “Are you clean?”

  “Yeah. I got tested for my physical when I came here and I haven’t been with anyone since.”

  “Then no. I’ve been on the pill for a few years.”

  My balls tightened, heavy with anticipation. I’d never had sex without a condom, but it felt right this time. Everything about this moment was right.

  I moved to the foot of the bed and kissed my way from her calves up to her shoulders, enjoying the way she was staring at my body. Hers was the opposite of mine; she was soft and sweet. Her fingertips brushed into my hair as she wrapped her hand around my neck and pulled my face down to hers.

  I kissed her softly, resolving to go slow and enjoy every second of this. But when I kissed her deeper and she moaned into my mouth, my body took over and I pushed my cock into her. The tight, wet warmth of her was so fucking good.

  “Oh, shit,” I said, closing my eyes. “Fuck. I can’t … I won’t be able to …”

  “It’s alright,” she said softly. “I love this. You feel amazing inside me.”

  “Sadie.” I stilled my movement and brushed my face against her neck. “Careful what you say. You’re gonna make me—”

  “Come? That’s what I want. I want you to come inside me, Niko.”

  She ground her hips upward into mine and wrapped her thighs around me. That was it. I couldn’t stay still any longer.

  Every thrust was fucking ecstasy. Her body was so tight and perfect and entwined with mine that I couldn’t hold on. I hiked her leg up and gave it to her hard, her moans urging me on.

  I
’d never seen anything as beautiful as the sight of her beneath me, gripped by the wave of an oncoming orgasm. I closed my eyes for a couple seconds, forcing myself to hold on. When I opened them and focused on her, she thrust her hips up against mine, crying out my name and digging her nails into my shoulders. I pumped my cock into her a final time, an intense orgasm seizing my whole body.

  Words tumbled out of my mouth as I came. “Ya lyublyu tebya, moye solntse.”

  I hadn’t spoken or thought in Russian for so long that the moment took me by surprise.

  “That was so hot,” she whispered in my ear, tightening her legs around my waist.

  “Sadie,” I said, dropping my head to her chest. “I don’t even know the words. That was the best minute of my life.”

  She laughed and wrapped her arms around me. “You lasted more than a minute. And you found some words. What was that you said in Russian?”

  “Did I say something in Russian?” I laughed and scrubbed a hand down my face. “Huh.” I moved to lay beside her, nibbling on her ear before I whispered in it. “Lay on your stomach. And relax.”

  She flipped over eagerly. I sat beside her, letting my fingertips wander over her smooth, perfect back. Gradually, I increased the pressure, working up to a massage that made her moan softly with pleasure. My cock started hardening again from the sound and feel of her.

  “Mmm, Niko,” she murmured. “That feels amazing.”

  “Just relax and sleep for a while if you want. Recover so I can have some fun playing with this later.” I slapped her ass and a muffled shriek sounded in her pillow.

  “Later?” She turned her head to look at me. “Why not now? Fuck me like this so you can play all you want.”

  I arched my brows, my cock at full attention now. Sadie shot me a coy smile and got to her knees, putting her round, gorgeous ass on full display for me. I slapped it again, eliciting a moan from her.

  When I entered her and wrapped my hands around her narrow hips, she pushed her ass back until I was deep inside her. Our bodies fit together perfectly, and again, being inside her without a condom was fucking unreal.