FADE (Kailin Gow's FADE Series: Book 1)

by Kailin Gow

  “And that’s why you’re doing this?” I ask Jack. “That’s the only reason you’re doing this?”

  I don’t get an answer to that, because Grayson chooses that moment to turn into Jack and tackle him around the legs. If Jack had been using both hands to maintain his grip on Grayson’s arm, it wouldn’t have worked, but as it is, Jack goes down, falling as Grayson rises above him, swinging punches.

  Jack covers up, but that just means that one punch hits his injured shoulder, making him cry out in pain. It’s about the worst move Grayson could have made, because it means that Jack isn’t holding back anymore. In less than a second, Grayson has gone from being an annoying kid to a genuine enemy, and I don’t think that’s a good thing at all.

  Jack’s fist snakes out to punch Grayson in the solar plexus, then Jack slips to the side, climbing out from under Grayson before he can throw any more punches. In less than a second, Jack has climbed around to Grayson’s back, and is choking him with his good arm.

  “Jack!”

  Jack doesn’t so much as look up as I call his name. He’s too intent on Grayson. I know I have to do something before Jack chokes him into unconsciousness or worse. I move forward, tearing at Jack’s arm, trying to peel it away from Grayson’s throat.

  “Jack, stop!”

  Jack hears me this time, and I manage to pull him away from Grayson, so that Grayson is left spluttering for breath on his hands and knees as I push Jack back. Not hard. Certainly with nothing like the strength I’ve used before, but hard enough that he can’t get past. His eyes are furious, utterly focused on Grayson.

  “Jack.” I reach up and grab his jaw, forcing it round so that he has to meet my eyes. “Jack, you need to stop.”

  It’s like those words flick a switch in him, because Jack blinks, takes a breath, and nods. He walks away then. Not far. Just to the edge of the field, clearly trying to get a grip on himself.

  “I’ll kill him,” Grayson promises, from his knees.

  I go to help him up. “Grayson, stop it. Just stop it.”

  “Me? He was choking me. You saw him. He would have-”

  “I know what Jack would have done,” I say, even though I’m not totally sure that I do. How far would he really have gone? Do I want to know? More to the point, can I really claim the moral high ground when I have just killed two men? “But he was hurt, and-”

  “You’re making excuses for him,” Grayson says. “You actually care about him, don’t you?”

  I shake my head quickly. “No, it’s not that… it’s… complicated. Please, Grayson, don’t make this difficult.”

  “I’m not the one making this difficult,” Grayson shoots back.

  “You are. You both are.”

  Grayson looks like he wants to argue, but then seems to think better of it. He winces. “I am, aren’t I? I don’t mean to, Celes. It’s just that, seeing him with you… knowing that he wants to split us up. That he did split us up once already…”

  “I know,” I say, reaching out to touch his cheek. “But I’m here now, and I’m not going anywhere.”

  “That’s not what he seems to think,” Grayson points out.

  “I know,” I say again, “and I’ll deal with it. Now, go and wait in the car.”

  “Celes-”

  “Please.”

  Grayson goes, and I walk over to Jack. “Are you okay?” I ask.

  He looks surprised at that, but nods. “I’ll live.”

  “Would Grayson have?”

  He hesitates, but nods. “A good choke is the safest way to incapacitate someone.”

  It sounds like a line out of some kind of training manual, and I’m not sure I believe it, but I can’t afford to fight over that. “Grayson’s coming with us, Jack,” I say.

  He shakes his head instantly. “No. He can’t. It isn’t…”

  “Safe?” I finish for him. “Is that really what this is about? Or is it something else?”

  Jack doesn’t answer that.

  “He’s coming with us,” I repeat. “No, don’t try to tell me that won’t work, because it’s what is going to happen. You’re here to protect me, Jack. I get that. I’m even grateful for it, but that doesn’t mean that you get to make every decision for me.”

  “Not even the ones where you’re making a mistake?” Jack asks.

  That irritates me a little. Jack is always so certain about everything.

  “I’m getting in the car now,” I tell him, “and since you’re too hurt to, I’ll be the one driving. Grayson is going to be in that car, and you can either be civil about it, or you can wait here.”

  He looks at me, and I guess he’s trying to work out if I’m serious. He looks like he might say something, too, but then he just shakes his head, walks to the Ferrari, and gets in.

  It’s going to be a long trip.

  FOURTEEN

  We drive a little way before I realize that I don’t know where we’re going, so I have to cut through some of the tension in the car to ask Jack. He’s looking at Grayson as I do it, but he gives me directions. They don’t sound like the way back to the apartment.

  “They aren’t,” Jack says. “We can’t go back to the apartment. Not with Grayson here along for the ride.”

  “I’ve already told you that I’m not leaving him,” I remind him, not wanting this whole argument to start up again.

  “I know, that’s why we’ll be heading to the Underground. Maybe they can work all this out. Pull over at the next gas station. The car will need refilling, and there’s stuff I’ll need to arrange.”

  I do it, and Jack gets out of the car, his cell phone out before he’s even left it. He heads into the gas station store, buying what look like bandages, and then heads for the men’s room, presumably to patch up his shoulder while he makes his calls. Will he be okay doing that alone? For a moment, I think about going after him to help, but Grayson’s there, and I know I need to talk to him more.

  “We could drive away,” Grayson suggests, out of nowhere.

  “What?”

  “We could drive away, abandon him, and not have to worry about whatever he’s plotting in there.”

  He still sounds angry about the fight. I shake my head.

  “I don’t think I can do that, Grayson.”

  “Why not?”

  “You saw what happened back there. I really am in danger. And I might be a danger to other people too. You saw what I did.”

  Grayson nods, still not looking happy. “Yes, that was…”

  “Impossible,” I finish for him. “But I still did it, and the Underground might be able to tell me more about why. They might be able to tell me how much of the old Celestra Caine is real, and how much is just some kind of lie.”

  Grayson pulls me to him then, holding me close. “Everything about you is real, Celes. You can’t let them make you think otherwise. We’re real, and we’re together. We’ll stay together too.”

  “I hope so,” I say, because it’s all too easy to think of the ways the Underground might separate us.

  “I know so,” Grayson insists. “We’ll go to college together, settle down, have a future. You’ll see.”

  It’s so easy to believe him in that moment. So safe and normal, being there with him. Not least because he’s my only connection back to Celestra Caine. Without Grayson, it’s like she never existed.

  Jack returns a little after that, takes one look at the two of us, and hops into the driver’s seat of the Ferrari. Grayson and I get in.

  “Are you okay to drive?” I ask.

  Jack shrugs. “I’m fine. The bullet went straight through. I’ll just be sore for a while, that’s all.”

  I don’t argue as he puts the car in gear. We drive for most of an hour before coming to a private airfield. It isn’t big, just a couple of hangars and a runway, but it’s big enough for a private jet to be sitting on the runway.

  “That isn’t for us, is it?” I ask.

  Jack nods. “I would have brought you this way last tim
e, but Sebastian was using his jet.”

  The steps up to the jet are down, and a young man in a simple uniform comes down them. He takes the keys to the Ferrari from Jack, promising to take it back as the three of us go aboard. Even Grayson seems impressed with the luxury of the interior. This isn’t some bucket of bolts bought cheaply to do a job. This is more the kind of jet that a rock star might own, complete with cabin crew.

  “This all seems…” I don’t know how to finish it, and for the first time today, Jack smiles.

  “Most of the people in the Underground like the finer things in life, especially when it comes to hi-tech toys like this. It’s one way of attracting some of the best brains out there, though plenty of them are just happy at the chance it gives them to uncover the truth.”

  The truth about things like me. Jack doesn’t say it, but the words hang between us.

  Surprisingly, he keeps away from us on the flight. Grayson sits right next to me, as though afraid to let me get too far away again. Jack, however, seems to be content to talk to the plane’s crew, and spends a large amount of the flight making calls. It seems that he’s busy arranging something, or reporting on what has happened. He even pulls out a laptop from an overhead locker at one point, working on it with a look of complete concentration.

  “So,” Grayson whispers to me, “all these people work for this ‘Underground’?”

  I nod. “I guess so.”

  “With resources like this, it has to be ex-government,” he says.

  “What?”

  “It makes sense. What if it’s some kind of renegade operation? Something that kept going after it was meant to have been shut down thanks to cutbacks?”

  I shrug. It makes a kind of sense, but there are other options. “It could just be privately funded, with some big backers behind it. I think I might already have met one.”

  Grayson reaches out for my hand then, and I know that whatever the Underground is, whatever happens with it, I won’t be alone. Jack, meanwhile, is down towards the front of the plane with one of the female cabin crew. His shirt is off. I’ve seen him like that before, of course. I lived with him for weeks. Yet now, I can’t seem to take my eyes off him. He is magnificent, with perfectly chiseled abs and lean muscles in all the right places, although he’s sporting a shoulder wound. The flight attendant is helping Jack to re-dress his shoulder, and being quite enthusiastic about it. No, it’s more than that. She’s practically throwing herself at him, tossing her hair, smiling at all the right moments, and taking every excuse to touch him.

  Worse, Jack seems to be flirting in return. A couple of times, he says things that make the woman laugh, while he seems to be perfectly happy with her attentions. Jealousy rises up in me like a wave, and even though I have no right to it, sitting there with Grayson, I know I can’t just sit there.

  “I need to go to the restroom,” I tell Grayson, before getting up. Of course, the path to the restroom just happens to take me right past where Jack and the flight attendant are currently finishing up. I give her a not too friendly stare. “Could you fetch Grayson a drink please?” I say. “He was complaining of being thirsty.”

  The woman smiles, and I feel a little bad about the hostility. “Of course.”

  She hurries off to fetch it, leaving me with Jack, who seems faintly amused by the whole thing.

  “What brings you here?” He asks. “Bored with your present company?”

  “No.” I shake my head. “But I did want to see how you’re doing, and to thank you for coming back for me. I know I don’t deserve your help after ditching you like that to go find Grayson, but thanks anyway.” This close, I can’t help wanting to reach out to touch Jack’s bandaged shoulder. It’s probably not something he’d want, though. Not when it would only hurt more.

  Jack shrugs. “You don’t have to thank me, Celes. It’s my job.”

  “Your job.”

  “Nothing more, nothing less.”

  I bite my lip. I wasn’t expecting that. Not after all the time we’ve spent together. I really thought… I don’t know what I thought.

  “But-”

  Jack cuts me off. “Celes, I came back for you because I had to. You’re too valuable to the Underground to let go, and sooner or later, no matter how good you are at hiding, the Others would find you. You need protection from The Underground.”

  I can hardly believe that. It’s such a cold reason. “And that’s the only reason you came back for me?”

  Jack draws in a breath, but he nods.

  That hurts. That hurts almost worse than all the rest of it put together. “So all those weeks of pretending to be my boyfriend… You really didn’t feel anything? It was just an act?”

  Jack shrugs, but the movement isn’t as casual as it should be. “What did you expect? That was the mission, Celes. I’m sorry if you thought it was more.”

  I shake my head. “No, I don’t believe it. What about the kisses, the soft touches, the moments when we were all alone?”

  “What can I say?” Jack says it coldly. “I’m a good actor.”

  I have to struggle not to cry then. “It was really just an act? Jack, please don’t do this.”

  Jack looks away. “It was really just an act.”

  “Then you should win an Oscar.” I can’t keep the bitterness out of my voice. “You had me fooled.”

  I turn to walk away and go back to Grayson. This would all have been so much simpler if I had just stayed next to him in the first place. Then I feel Jack’s hand on my arm. He turns me back to face him.

  “Celes.” It’s barely more than a whisper.

  “What?”

  Jack takes another breath before folding me in his arms. He kisses the top of my head chastely, gently, before moving his lips down to my ear.

  “I don’t want anything to happen to you,” he whispers, “but you have to know this. I can’t afford to get involved. When we get to the Underground, they may give you a new cover. If they do, I’ll be reassigned. You’ll get a new Fader. One who can keep you safe.”

  “But what happened today wasn’t your fault!” I protest. After all, that’s why they’d have to change things, isn’t it?

  Jack shakes his head. “It doesn’t matter,” He says. “I’m responsible for you, and you almost got killed on my watch. Grayson almost got killed.”

  Despite everything Jack has said, I feel terrible. “I’m so sorry,” I say. “I didn’t mean…”

  “I know,” Jack says. He’s silent for several seconds. When he does speak, there’s something else in his voice. “Celes, I asked you to trust me, I told you that I would protect you with my life.”

  “Jack, I…”

  Jack kisses me then, giving the lie to everything he has said about not caring. It’s a brief kiss, but there’s real passion in it. It isn’t pretend. It can’t be.

  “I made you that promise,” Jack says as he pulls back, “and I’ll keep it. I’ll protect you, no matter what happens. I’ll protect you even if I’m reassigned. Even if I’m ordered not to.”

  “What do you mean?” I ask, stunned by this sudden change of tack.

  Jack grins an almost boyish grin. “I mean that you aren’t going to get rid of me that easily, Celes.”

  FIFTEEN

  When the jet finally lands, on an airfield so similar to the first it’s hard to tell if we’ve gone anywhere at all, there’s a car waiting for us. It’s a big, battered looking thing, but that just means it matches its driver, who’s huge. He’s built like a football player, and looks like the suit he wears is uncomfortably small. When Jack sees him, he raises an eyebrow.

  “Louis? You’re here to drive us?”

  “That’s right.” The man’s voice is almost unnaturally deep.

  “There’s no need,” Jack says. “I can do it.”

  “Instructions,” the big guy replies.

  Jack looks uncomfortable, and takes out a phone. “I’ll call Sebastian. Get this sorted out.” He jabs a number into his phone. “Se
bastian, it’s Jack. Yes, we’re here. Yes, hes ris met us. There’s really no need… yes, I understand, but… yes, sir.”

  Jack hangs up, and it’s clear that the big man is driving us after all. We get into the car, with Grayson and me in the back, while Jack takes the passenger seat. The driver, Louis, doesn’t say much as he rolls out of the airfield. Now it’s clear that we’re close to the Underground. There’s desert around us, and the roads are very empty. We drive for a little way before Louis brings the car to a halt for no apparent reason.

  “Need to take a leak,” the big man grunts, and gets out of the car, striding off a little way. To my surprise, Grayson decides that he needs the same, and heads off after him.

  That leaves me with Jack. We haven’t spoken much after the kiss on the plane, and I’m not sure I know what to say. Things are obviously going to change now. If we’re going to the Underground, anything could happen. I might not see Jack again. If their memory device works this time, I might not even remember that he exists.

  Jack seems to sense that this might be our last chance too, because he moves around from the passenger seat to join me in the back. He pulls me to him for a quick kiss.

  “I’ve always enjoyed this part, Celes,” he says. “I wasn’t supposed to, but I have. And that could be a problem. I’ve come to care for you more than I should. It’s as though we’ve always belong together. It sounds stupid, but I feel as though I’ve known you before, that we’ve spent centuries together, always together.”

  It doesn’t sound stupid. In fact, it sounds perfect. I lay my head on his chest. “I know. Me too, Jack.” I smile up at him. “Maybe it will work out. Maybe you’ll still be a part of my life somehow.”

  “I know, I…”

  “Help!” I recognize Grayson’s voice instantly, and I’m out of the car before I even realize it. Jack’s out there too, probably from the urge to follow me more than from one to help Grayson. I sprint over in the direction Grayson and Louis have gone, and quickly find them. What I see makes me recoil.

  They’re struggling, with both of Grayson’s hands locked on the big man’s wrist. In that hand, Louis holds a knife. He isn’t striking Grayson, just pushing that knife inexorably forward.