FADE (Kailin Gow's FADE Series: Book 1)

by Kailin Gow

  Even Jack seems shocked by that. “Louis? What are you doing?”

  The driver looks disgustedly at Jack. “That’s exactly what I want to know with you.”

  Grayson takes advantage of the momentary distraction, kicking out at the driver. “Don’t listen to him. We have to get him before he takes us to that place. You know what they’re going to do there? They’re going to erase my memories of you, Celes!”

  That possibility hadn’t occurred to me. I had thought about what might happen to my memories, but not about what the Underground might do to Grayson. For now though, there’s the more immediate question of a man who’s trying to kill him.

  “Jack, you have to stop this,” I say, but Jack is already moving. For all that he doesn’t seem to like Grayson much, he doesn’t seem willing to stand by and let him be stabbed. He pulls his pistol out from the inside of his jacket, and presses the muzzle of it to the big man’s skull.

  “Drop it, Louis, or I drop you.”

  “You should be putting a bullet in him,” the driver says.

  “Oh, for-” Jack brings the butt of the gun down sharply on the back of the man’s head. Despite his size, he collapses into unconsciousness without a sound. When Grayson starts to reach down for the fallen knife, Jack kicks it away, giving him a hard look. “Don’t even think about it. If you want to come along with Celes, you behave yourself, or you’re getting off right here.”

  That’s enough to get Grayson to calm down. Jack sends him to wait in the car, not taking his eyes off him until he’s there. Then he searches the driver’s pockets, digging out the keys to the vehicle before putting away his gun and hooking his hands under the man’s arms.

  “Could you give me a hand here, Celes? I’m not leaving Louis out in the desert. Not when I don’t know what’s going on.”

  Together, we just about succeed in dragging the man back to the car, putting him in the trunk. It seems like the safest place, when we have no easy way to tie him up. Jack drives. It’s almost another hour before the familiar bulk of the Underground’s building comes into view. We pull up outside it, and I look over to Jack.

  “So, what now?”

  The answer to that comes in a matter of seconds, as men and women armed with a variety of automatic weapons move to surround the car. Jack looks shocked, but raises his hands instantly. Grayson and I follow suit. They pull us from the car, and quickly disarm Jack before helping the now conscious Louis from the trunk.

  “What’s going on?” Jack asked. I notice that the guns are still trained on us.

  The big driver clutches his head. “Maybe if you’d listened instead of knocking me out, you’d know.”

  At that point, one of the people with the guns radios back to say that everything is under control, and the door to the Underground’s base opens, letting Sebastian Cook out into the sunlight. He blinks in it, as though he’s been inside for a while, before looking over at Jack.

  “Mr. Simple, I would have thought you might have handled this better.”

  “Handled what better, sir?” Jack asks. “Is there something I’m missing here?”

  The Underground leader nods. “Oh, I think we could say that. There’s a problem, Jack.”

  “What kind of problem?”

  “That kind of problem,” Sebastian Cook says, pointing at Grayson. “Ms. Caine’s ex-boyfriend.”

  “Current boyfriend,” Grayson says.

  “Ex-boyfriend.” Sebastian Cook gives him a look that says quite clearly that Grayson shouldn’t speak, and gestures to a couple of the gunmen. They take hold of Grayson, and Mr Cook returns his attention to Jack. “What were you thinking of, bringing him here? You should have left him.”

  “That’s my fault,” I say, not wanting Jack to get into trouble. “I brought Grayson into this. And we couldn’t just leave him behind. The Others would have killed him.”

  Sebastian Cook laughs. Actually laughs. “Killed him? Hardly. He’s one of theirs, after all.”

  “One of…”

  “He’s the son of one of the Others,” the Underground leader explains.

  “No.” I shake my head. “He can’t be.”

  “Why didn’t I know this?” Jack asks. “Why wasn’t I told about the possible connection before fading Celes and her family?”

  “It was very well masked. Grayson here may not even know it himself, but he has always been kept close to Celes. His family moved in near her family, they attended the same schools, went to the same functions. Of course, it was all designed to get close to Celes, and find out what she is.”

  Grayson struggles then, bucking against the men holding onto him. “That’s not true.”

  “Then who does your father work for?” Sebastian Cook demands.

  “He’s just a chemist at the lab.”

  “A lab that is run by the Others, young man.”

  Grayson looks over at me, his face imploring. “Celes, I had no idea.”

  I find myself looking at Sebastian Cook, hating myself for not just trusting Grayson’s word.

  “It’s plausible,” he says. “Even likely. There would be no reason for them to tell their son.”

  Grayson pulls at the grip of the men holding him again. “You don’t understand. I would never do anything to hurt Celes. I ran off with her just now, on my own, my parents don’t even know. It’s my choice to be here with her.”

  “I’m sorry,” Sebastian says, nodding to the Faders next to him. “They’re probably tracing you now. It’s simply a matter of time before they make their way here, too. As such, the only way you’re leaving here alive is if we Fade you, the way we did with Celestra’s family. That will of course mean that you retain no memories of her.”

  “No!” The word is out before I can stop it. “Please don’t fade his memories. They’re the only thing connecting me to my own life.”

  I expect Mr. Cook to tell me that’s the point, but instead, he looks almost sympathetic. “It’s for both your good and his. If we don’t do this, he and his family will harm you. And until we can understand how to control your abilities, you may end up harming them, not intentionally, but in self-defense.”

  He gestures again to the Faders holding Grayson. They start to move him away, but this time he breaks free of their grip, running over to me.

  “I won’t ever forget you, Celes. My heart will know you even if I don’t have the memories.”

  I try to hold onto him, but it’s not enough. The Faders pull him away.

  “Please don’t hurt him,” I beg.

  Sebastian pats my arm. “He will be the same as always, but he will only remember you as someone he’s seen once or twice before. Maybe at the store, in the park…” He shrugs. “He’s one of the Others, whether he knows it or not. Understand that the fact that he’s being allowed to walk out of here alive and unharmed is a major concession on our part. We normally kill the Others whenever we can. Only the fact that you care for him has changed that, and with everything you can do, you’re interesting enough to be worth that concession. Just be grateful that we can at least wipe his memories. If we couldn’t, even that wouldn’t have saved him.”

  I force myself to nod, in spite of the cruelty of what Sebastian Cook is saying. I can feel the blood draining from my face at the harshness of it. What worries me even more is that Jack looks every bit as pale as I do.

  SIXTEEN

  We go into the Underground’s base then, following the route we took before along the corridor and then down in the elevator towards that circular viewing room. Grayson has been taken on ahead, so that there is no sign of him, while the guards wait in the corridor. Once we get into the elevator, it’s just me, Jack and Sebastian. The middle aged head of the Underground puts an arm around Jack’s shoulders.

  “I know this has been a hard assignment for you, Jack. A really difficult situation towards the end, in particular.”

  “It’s been fine.”

  “It has,” Sebastian says. “You’ve handled this well. Very well,
in fact. Especially given everything you must be feeling towards Celestra here.”

  Jack looks at the other man sharply, and I do the same.

  “What has Jack said to you?” I demand. It’s the only way I can think of that Sebastian might know about what Jack and I might or might not feel towards one another. If Jack has said anything… well, I don’t know what I’ll do. I just hope that he hasn’t, that’s all.

  Sebastian shakes his head. “Jack doesn’t have to say anything when it comes to this. I can guess. You’re both feeling connected somehow, correct? Like you know one another?”

  The elevator comes to a halt, and we step out into the viewing room. The walls are clear, letting us see that there’s no one about. Compared to how busy the watching galleries were when I first came here, it’s eerie. Apparently, the Underground leader wants privacy for this part.

  “You know that there are things you don’t remember?” Sebastian asks Jack.

  “I know that you’ve Faded me before.” Jack doesn’t sound comfortable about it.

  “It was necessary,” Sebastian assures him.

  “For the job, I know.”

  I have the feeling that I’ve walked in on an old argument between them. One that has lost most of its force, but which is still there under the surface, waiting to bubble up. The Underground leader shakes his head. “For more than that. Much more.”

  Jack looks like that isn’t the answer he’s expecting. “More? Yes. I know that I feel something around Celes that I haven’t felt around anyone else I’ve Faded.”

  “What’s going on?” I ask, adding my voice to the mix. I figure I have as much right to know as anyone, given how close Jack and I have gotten in the last few weeks.

  Sebastian Cook stands there, his features tight. “I can’t tell you that. Doing so would cause too much pain.” He looks at Jack. “I’m sorry, son.”

  Son? ce="CalIHold on,” I say, “Jack’s your…”

  Jack nods. “He’s my father, but that isn’t important right now.”

  “Then what is?” I ask. How can it not be important that the leader of the Underground is Jack’s father? More to the point, what could be so important that it makes a detail like that irrelevant?

  Jack looks at Sebastian evenly. “The memories I had of Celes are locked away somewhere, right? We never get rid of them completely. We always keep copies.”

  “Yes,” Sebastian said. “They’re in with all the other memories we’ve collected.”

  “So, in theory…”

  “You know you can’t go after them, Jack.”

  I can’t help thinking of Grayson’s memories. Soon, they’ll be stuck in a jar somewhere, or on a computer file, or however it is they store them. All his memories of me, gone, just like that. Just like Jack’s. Did Jack really have memories of me once? Is that even what Sebastian is saying?

  “Why can’t Jack have his memories back?” I ask.

  “It would cause too many problems,” Sebastian says, adjusting his suit uncomfortably. “There would be unhappiness as a result, at the very least. There might even be enough anger to spark violence, given some of the things there. It isn’t a risk we can afford to take.”

  “Not that it matters to you either way,” I say, suddenly angry. “You’re just determined to get rid of every memory of me, aren’t you?”

  Sebastian looks at me, and it’s the look he gave me the last time I was here. The one that says I am just a little girl who can’t possibly understand the big picture. It doesn’t make me any happier now than it did then. If anything, it just makes me angrier.

  Jack moves over to me, but I push away from him, thinking of Grayson. Thinking of how Grayson soon won’t know me. Of how soon, the only evidence that we were ever together will be in my head. There will be nobody else in the world to say that I didn’t imagine half the closest moments between us. Nothing but my memories, and a few files deep within the Underground.

  Jack moves close again. He obviously knows exactly what I’m going through, because he holds me close, kissing the top of my head. “It’s going to be all right, Celes,” he promises.

  “No,” I say, “it isn’t. I’m not sure it ever was.” I look up at Sebastian Cook. “Are you going to take Jack’s memories of me too? Are you going to make it so that only you and I know I even exist? Or are you even going to wipe your head clean?”

  “Don’t be melodramatic,” the older man says.

  Jack obviously doesn’t think it’s over the top, though. “Dad,” he says, moving between me and his father. “Please don’t take my memories of Celes in these last few weeks. I couldn’t stand to forget her.”

  That’s a clearer indication of how he feels than almost anything he’s said to me before. It seems to have some effect too, because Sebastian moves forward and pats him on the shoulder in what is obviously intended to be a comforting gesture. It might even have worked, had it not been Jack’s injured shoulder.

  “Who says we’re doing anything to your memories of her?”

  “So you aren’t?” Jack asks. “You aren’t planning to Fade me again?”

  Sebastian shakes his head. “In fact, we want you to continue with the Jack Simple and Celeste Channing cover. It’s still solid enough to work, in spite of everything that has happened today.”

  I wonder if he would have been as accommodating had he decided that the cover identities wouldn’t work. Of course he wouldn’t. He’d have had Jack whisked away as quickly as he took away Grayson.

  “Besides, your presence seems to have had a beneficial effect on Celestra here. Her abilities have advanced remarkably since you came into the picture. In fact, if the outline of the situation you gave me during your flight is correct…”

  “It is,” Jack assures him.

  “…then it seems likely that Ms. Caine’s feelings towards you were a catalyst for what happened when the Others’ agents attacked you.”

  “I’m responsible for that?” Jack asks. I expect him to look horrified at the thought, but instead, he looks almost proud.

  “Not directly,” his father replies, “but you helped. As such, I think it’s very important that you remain around her for now. Who knows what else you could unlock in her?”

  “I’m right here, you know,” I point out, slightly annoyed that Sebastian can talk about me like I’m no more than a lab rat that happens to be doing well. He doesn’t seem very ashamed, but Jack does.

  “Sorry, Celes.”

  “It’s okay,” I say, “but right now, I don’t care about all this. I want to be with Grayson. I want to know that your people are treating him okay.”

  “They won’t hurt him,” Sebastian says, as if that’s all that’s important. “After the memory wipe, he’ll be fine. For now, he just has to wait in a secure area until we have the machines set up. It can take several hours to prepare.”

  “Then I want to be with Grayson until it happens,” I say. Apparently, no one has thought about what it must be like, waiting hours to have your memories taken. “He shouldn’t have to be alone, not knowing what’s going on.”

  Sebastian nods. He probably thinks he’s being generous. “That can be arranged.”

  “Then please take me there.” I look around at Jack. I can guess how it will hurt him, with me wanting to go to Grayson just as we’re both finding out more about his memories, but it’s where I have to be right then.

  “I’m sorry, Jack,” I say, “but I can’t just abandon Grayson after everything we shared together.”

  “I know,” Jack says, but he doesn’t sound happy about it. I think some part of him is hoping that I’ll forget Grayson as quickly as he’s about to forget me. That, however, is never going to happen. “I don’t think I can come with you though, Celes.”

  “Why not?” Sebastian asks. Apparently, he genuinely doesn’t get it.

  “Dad, do you think I want to be in the room while Celes and Grayson say goodbye?”

  Sebastian laughs. “This is stupid. It’s obvious tha
t Ms. Caine and the boy are not meant for one another, what with him being one of the Others. You, on the other hand… you’re even her kind.”

  “My kind?” I ask, picking up on the words.

  Sebastian looks a little uncomfortable, as though he’s said too much, but he clearly decides that it’s too late to back away from the issue now.

  “You know, of course, that you cannot be human. Seventeen year old human girls do not do the things you do.”

  I nod, trying to play this cool. “I’d guessed.”

  “Jack isn’t human either.” He leaves that hanging for a moment before going on. “You are, broadly speaking, the same kind of creature. The only difference is that Jack had a human mother, whereas you appear to be a full-blooded example.”

  Jack tries to pull me to him again as I stand there in shock. “Come on, Celes. This can wait. You need to go see Grayson right now.”

  For a moment, I’m tempted. It would make things so easy. Just go see Grayson, put the whole thing out of my mind, and try to pretend that I haven’t just been told that Jack is almost as much of a freak as me. That I haven’t just been told…

  I grab Jack and push him back against the nearest of the glass walls easily.

  “You’ve lied to me Jack! All this time, you’ve been lying to me. You’ve been just like me, you’ve had some kind of connection to me, and you haven’t said anything.”

  “I’m sorry,” Jack says.

  Sebastian has more to say. “Jack was sworn to secrecy, Ms. Caine, and here in the Underground, that is something we take seriously. He couldn’t tell you. In any case, he wouldn’t have known all of it. I imagine the feelings of a connection to you only came up once he was paired with you.”

  Jack nods. “That’s right, Celes. I never meant…”

  I don’t find out what Jack never meant, because at that point, he slumps into unconsciousness. At exactly the same moment, meanwhile, images start to flash across the screens around us.

  SEVENTEEN