The Land of Stories: The Enchantress Returns

by Chris Colfer

  “Really?” Alex asked, always eager for a good story. “I’m not very familiar with her.”

  Jack went into full-throttle storytelling mode, dramatically retelling the events that had made the Snow Queen a household name.

  “Many years ago, the Snow Queen was just a weather witch from deep in the mountains. She befriended the king of the Northern Kingdom by granting him wishes and gained his trust by giving him prophecies about the kingdom. The king made her his royal advisor, but she was evil and secretly plotted to take over the kingdom for herself. Eventually, she overthrew the king and imprisoned the entire kingdom in an everlasting winter. All the trees and plants, most of the animals, and some of the people died—not able to survive the cold,” Jack said.

  “So what happened?” Conner asked.

  “Wise Prince White, Snow White’s grandfather, rallied up an army to overthrow the Snow Queen,” Jack said. “They took back their kingdom and banished the evil Snow Queen to live the rest of her days deep in the Northern Mountains.”

  “Whatever became of her?” Alex asked.

  “Some people say she started an army of snowmen and is waiting for the right time to unleash them. Others say she was so distraught after losing the kingdom she cried until her eyes froze and they melted away. Nothing is certain, because no one ever saw her again, but her icy wrath still sends chills down people’s spines whenever her name is mentioned,” Jack said.

  “So how do people know she’s alive?” Alex asked.

  “Oh, she’s alive, believe me,” Goldilocks said. “The Snow Queen sends vengeful blizzards through the kingdom when she’s feeling particularly angry—just to let people know she’s still around.”

  Alex and Conner gulped at the same time.

  “And this scepter of hers that we need,” Conner said. “I’m guessing we’re going to have to steal it, right? She’s not just going to hand it over willingly.”

  In response, Jack and Goldilocks simply continued sharpening their weapons.

  “Speaking of cold,” Goldilocks said and gestured to Red, who had been staring at the four of them for some time. Red quickly turned away from them, embarrassed to be caught.

  A week ago, Red had been certain she was in love with Froggy. But as soon as Jack returned to her life, all the old feelings she had for him slowly started to return as well. She tried to fight them off, telling herself it was just her mind playing tricks on her heart, but tonight, as she watched him tell the twins about the Snow Queen, she couldn’t deny that feelings had definitely resurfaced.

  Froggy, despite his current state, was perfect for her, and everyone she knew agreed. She loved him with all of her heart—but wasn’t that how she felt about Jack, too? Could she be in love with two people at once? Or worse—could she be in love with one of them and just in denial about how she felt toward the other?

  But which was which? What would it take for her to be certain? All the thinking gave Red a headache.

  “It looks like things are about to get bumpy for us,” Froggy said to Red.

  “Excuse me?” Red asked in shock, terrified he could read her mind.

  Froggy cleared his throat to get Jack’s and Goldilocks’s attention. “I don’t mean to put a damper on the night, but I believe we may be headed to a certain death unless we do something about it.”

  Everyone’s head shot to the front of the ship. The Granny was headed straight into the sharp and snowy peaks of the Northern Mountains—and unless they gained altitude quickly, they were going to crash.

  Red sighed to herself, relieved Froggy hadn’t been referring to her thoughts, but her relief turned into a series of screams as she realized what was happening.

  Jack leaped up and pulled on the lever by the flame. The flame grew and the Granny rose, but not high enough. The mountain peaks were getting closer, certain to rip a hole right through the ship. Jack pulled on the lever as hard as he could, but the flame was as big as it was going to get. The Granny wasn’t getting any higher.

  “Oh no!” Alex said.

  “What are we going to do?” Conner asked.

  Goldilocks looked around the deck. She ran over to the trunks and chests Red had insisted on bringing and sliced through the ropes that held them down with her sword. One by one, Goldilocks began chucking the chests and trunks overboard.

  “What are you doing? Are you crazy?” Red said. She ran over to her beloved items and threw herself on top of them.

  “Don’t tempt me to throw you overboard, too!” Goldilocks said.

  “These are my things! You can’t just toss them overboard! I need them!” Red yelled. They both grabbed on to the handles of a chest and played tug-of-war with it. Goldilocks managed to get it over the edge of the ship, but Red wouldn’t let it go.

  “Red, you need to listen to me,” Goldilocks said, looking her directly in the eyes. “You’ve got too much baggage! You need to let it go or we’ll crash!”

  Red froze. Had Goldilocks heard her thoughts moments before? Had she been thinking out loud and not realized it?

  “Red, we can’t go on with all of this weighing us down! Do you understand?” Goldilocks pleaded with her.

  “I have to let go?” Red said to herself. “I have to let go…” She looked up at Jack, down to the chest, back at Jack, and slowly let the chest slip out of her grasp and fall to the earth below. She watched it fall until she couldn’t see it anymore.

  Goldilocks wasted no time. She eagerly (almost too eagerly) began hoisting all of Red’s trunks and chests over the side of the ship. Jack and the twins joined her. The more they tossed overboard, the higher the Granny rose.

  “Almost… almost…” Froggy said. His green hands were almost white from clutching the steering wheel. He was doing his best to navigate the Granny around the sharp peaks, but there was still one more to fly over—and it was exceptionally high.

  There was only one more trunk to get rid of. It took Jack, Goldilocks, and the twins all their strength to push it up and over the side of the ship. They flung it over just in time and the Granny glided over the mountain peak, inches away from its jagged edge.

  Jack, Goldilocks, and the twins fell to the deck floor—their hearts were pounding and they were breathing heavily. Red was leaning on the banister, her eyes fixed on the ground, trying to see where her things had landed, but they were too high up for her to tell.

  “I need to let go…” Red quietly sniffled to herself. “I need to let go.”

  After a few moments, the four caught their breath and got to their feet. Red was devastated and wiped away tiny tears that had formed in the corners of her eyes.

  “I’m so sorry we had to throw all of your clothes overboard,” Alex said.

  “Clothes?” Red said. “Oh no, those weren’t my clothes—those were just my hats and jewelry. All my clothes are packed in the trunks downstairs.”

  Everyone glared at her as if she were responsible for everything wrong in the world.

  “Does this ship have a plank?!” Goldilocks asked. She jumped toward Red—Jack and the twins had to hold her back.

  “My dear, for your safety I think it’s best if you go to bed,” Froggy told Red. She didn’t argue and climbed down the steps to the lower deck.

  The Granny bobbed gracefully above the rocky Northern Mountains. The sun had risen hours ago but no one could tell through the thick, cloudy sky. The ground looked menacing below. There were no trees or villages, only snow. The twins couldn’t imagine anything living this far north—anything except a Snow Queen.

  The wind suddenly picked up and the ship rocked harder than it ever had. The cold had become almost unbearable, and the twins wrapped their coats even tighter around themselves.

  “We’re getting closer,” Jack said. “Look!”

  He pointed to the dark sky in the distance. Bright northern lights circled into a vortex above a particularly jagged cluster of mountain peaks.

  “We found her! She should be just under those lights,” Goldilocks said.
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  “Charlie, let’s put the Granny down gently over there,” Jack said and gestured to a large snow bed they were approaching. Froggy nodded and steered the ship in its direction. Jack lowered the lever by the flame and the ship descended, settling onto the snowy ground.

  Red poked her head up from the lower deck. “Are we here?” she said with a big yawn, just waking up from a nap.

  “We’ll travel the rest of the way by foot,” Jack said. “A large ship hovering over her lair may cause some attention.”

  Goldilocks opened the trunk she had brought onto the ship. She and Jack began tucking away as many weapons as possible: daggers in their boots, knives in their belts, rope around their waists. They both took a lantern and handed one to the twins.

  “Are you two sure you’re ready for this?” Jack asked. He was very businesslike, but the twins could sense a paternal hesitation in his voice.

  Alex and Conner took a deep breath and nodded. “We’re ready,” they said in unison.

  “I don’t think I packed any snow heels; I may have to sit this one out,” Red said.

  “Great,” Jack said. It was the best news he had heard all day. “Charlie, you should stay with the ship. If we’re not back in a day, come looking for us.”

  “Yes, sir,” Froggy said.

  Jack looked at Goldilocks and the twins. “All right,” he said. “Follow me.”

  They climbed off the ship and headed in the direction of the northern lights. It was hard for Alex and Conner to keep up with Jack and Goldilocks—partially because the snow was hard to walk in and partially because they weren’t used to trekking through the wilderness like Jack and Goldilocks were.

  As they continued farther north, the wind became stronger and stronger. It almost knocked them down and the sounds were piercing, like screaming—the Snow Queen’s screaming. Perhaps this was part of that wrathful blizzard they had been warned about.

  After a long while of traveling by foot the twins looked up and saw the northern lights circling the sky directly above them. Jack led them into a small opening between two enormous glaciers, and the harsh winds were blocked. It was like walking in a narrow hallway without a ceiling.

  “I think it’s this way,” Jack said to his three followers.

  They traveled between the glaciers, farther into the mountains of the Snow Queen’s lair. The opening between the glaciers zigzagged through the mountains like an icy labyrinth, twisting and turning every few feet. Alex and Conner couldn’t tell which direction they were walking in anymore. They were afraid they would get lost but saw Goldilocks scraping the glacier wall with a dagger as they traveled, marking the way back out.

  They started to hear voices echo through the glacier maze. Jack gestured for them to be as quiet as possible as they walked farther.

  The group found themselves entering a large crater in the middle of the mountains. A frozen river circled the bottom like a snowy floor, and a frozen waterfall spilled inside from the mountain above. There were several pillars of ice surrounding the frozen river.

  Everything was white so it was hard to make out what they were seeing at first. But as her eyes began to focus, Alex had to stifle a scream. At the base of the frozen waterfall, the ice flowed into a gigantic chair on which the Snow Queen herself was sitting. They were on the edge of an icy throne room.

  Upon seeing her, Jack and Goldilocks dove behind one ice pillar and the twins hid behind another.

  The Snow Queen was a tall woman with a large white fur coat, a snowflake crown, and a cloth wrapped around her eyes. Her skin was so pale and frostbitten it was practically blue. She had a very strong jaw and tiny jagged teeth. She clutched a long icicle scepter in one hand, and her other hand was being stroked by something enormous and fluffy kneeling before her… it was a polar bear. He blended so well into the rest of the crater the twins had barely noticed him.

  “Bear!” Goldilocks gasped. It was the first time the twins had ever seen her afraid of anything.

  “You’re afraid of bears?” Alex whispered to her.

  Goldilocks nodded but her eyes never left the polar bear. “Ever since I was a girl and went inside the Three Bears’ house by mistake,” she said.

  The polar bear gently caressed the Snow Queen’s hand—a faithful and obedient servant.

  “How many people are there outside?” the Snow Queen asked him hoarsely. One of the rumors Jack had told the twins was true; she was definitely blind.

  “Thousands and thousands have come today, Your Majesty,” the polar bear said in a deep, growly voice.

  “What have they come for?” the Snow Queen asked.

  “They’ve come to bow and grovel at your feet and witness your beauty,” the polar bear said.

  A snide smile came to the Snow Queen’s face and a slow, rattling laugh came from deep inside of her.

  “Do I still control all the neighboring kingdoms?” the Snow Queen asked.

  “All of them, Your Majesty,” the bear said. “The whole world is covered in your snowy wrath—just as it was before.”

  The Snow Queen’s smile grew wider. “What gifts does my army have for me today?” she asked.

  “I’ll call for them, Your Majesty,” he said.

  The polar bear let out a booming growl. A few moments later another polar bear appeared. He carried two long poles with several pairs of boots tied to them. He raised the poles and lowered them to the ground as he walked, giving the Snow Queen the illusion that dozens of soldiers were marching into the crater.

  “My faithful army has returned,” the pleased Snow Queen said. “What have you brought me this time?”

  “Jewels, My Queen,” the second polar bear said. He set the poles aside and carefully dropped a handful of average rocks into her hands. “Rubies, diamonds, and sapphires—all Your Majesty’s favorites.”

  The Snow Queen gasped. “These are the biggest jewels I’ve ever held!” she said. “You’ve made your queen very proud.”

  The polar bears looked to each other, relieved to have pulled off another hoax. The second polar bear retrieved the poles and walked off behind the waterfall, marching the boots along with him.

  “Everything she believes is a lie!” Conner whispered to his sister.

  “I wonder how long those polar bears have been fooling her for,” Alex whispered back.

  “Pssst,” Jack said, getting the twins’ attention. “I’m going to distract the bear. The three of you get the scepter.”

  They all nodded.

  Jack picked up a chunk of ice and threw it to the other side of the crater’s rim. The polar bear jerked his head toward the sound. He scowled, waiting for it to happen again, and then looked back at the Snow Queen when it didn’t.

  Jack threw an even bigger chunk of ice in the same direction—the polar bear looked toward it and sniffed the air. He let out a low growl and bared his teeth—he knew they had company.

  “What is it?” the Snow Queen asked.

  “Nothing, Your Majesty,” the polar bear said. “Please excuse me for a moment.” The polar bear walked off to inspect the sound and disappeared from view behind the pillars on the other side of the crater.

  “I’m going to keep him busy,” Jack mouthed to Goldilocks, and the twins and followed the bear.

  The Snow Queen was all alone. Now was their chance.

  “I say we just go over there and tackle her,” Conner suggested.

  “No, I’m going to try to steal it on my own first,” Goldilocks said. “Stay here and keep a lookout. Whistle if you see anything.”

  Goldilocks carefully stepped onto the frozen lake and made her way to the Snow Queen’s throne. As one would expect from a master thief, she was very agile, barely making a sound.

  Goldilocks was halfway there. The twins crossed their fingers; they were watching her so intently they forgot to keep an eye on the rest of the crater. Just when she was a few feet away from the Snow Queen, a small piece of ice crunched loudly under her foot.

  “Who’s there?
” the Snow Queen yelled and raised her scepter.

  Suddenly, the polar bear reappeared from behind the pillars and charged toward Goldilocks. With one swipe of his paw, he knocked Goldilocks to the ground and she slid to the center of the frozen lake.

  “Goldilocks!” Jack screamed, emerging from behind the pillars himself. He raced toward the polar bear with his axe raised high.

  The Snow Queen heard him and pointed her scepter directly at him. A bright icy blast erupted from its tip and hit Jack. He flew across the crater and crashed into a pillar. He scrambled to his feet but was hit again by another icy blast from the Snow Queen—this time a sheet of thick ice pinned his hands and chest to the pillar behind him. Jack struggled with all his might, but he was stuck.

  Although she was blind, the Snow Queen apparently had impeccable hearing.

  “Who dares disturb my palace?!” the Snow Queen demanded.

  Goldilocks was hyperventilating on the ground—terrified of the polar bear before her. The Snow Queen glided toward her.

  “Leave her alone!” Jack yelled from across the crater, desperately struggling to free himself.

  The Snow Queen raised her scepter in Goldilocks’s direction. But just then, a giant snowball came out of nowhere and hit the Snow Queen square in the face.

  “Hey, abominable snow-woman! Over here!” Conner yelled at her.

  The Snow Queen let out a furious moan and the twins could see her breath in the cold air. The polar bear roared and lunged toward them, but the Snow Queen stopped him.

  “No, you stay here,” she ordered. “I want to kill them myself!”

  The twins didn’t waste a beat and took off running. The Snow Queen went after them, following the sounds of their footsteps. They ran behind the frozen waterfall and found themselves entering a large cavern.

  The polar bear slowly walked toward Goldilocks. His sharp teeth were exposed and drool was dripping from his salivating mouth. “No one disturbs the Snow Queen and lives to see another day!” the polar bear growled.

  “Goldie, get up!” Jack yelled. “You have to get up!”

  “I-I-I can’t!” she whimpered, sliding away from the approaching bear as fast as she could.