The Asperkid's (Secret) Book of Social Rules
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Winner, M.G. and Crooke, P. (2011) Social Fate, Social Fortune. San Jose, CA: Think Social Publishing.
Winner, M.G. and Crooke, P. (2011) Socially Curious and Curiously Social: A Social Thinking Guidebook for Bright Teens and Young Adults. Great Barrington, MA: North River Press.
Wiseman, R. (2010) Boys, Girls and Other Hazardous Materials. New York: G.P. Putman’s Sons.
Online: Tumblr Blogs, Sites, Podcasts and Twitter Feeds
Etiquette for a Gentleman and Etiquette for a Lady
www.etiquettforagentleman.tmblr.com and www.etiquettforalady.tumblr.com
These are two of the most followed Tumblr blogs out there, and for good reason. Entries are one bite-sized, thoroughly modern truth at a time (like “If you loan a girl your sweatshirt, don’t expect to get it back”). Smart guys and girls will follow BOTH.
iTwixie
www.itwixie.com
iTwixie is designed to empower and inspire tween girls “to change the world.” A favorite of “Queen Bees” author, Rosalind Wiseman, the site aims to “challenge girls to express their unique talents, creations, natural beauty and true interests.”
The Good Web Guide
www.thegoodwebguide.co.uk
Whether or not you live in the UK, the annual “short list” of fantastic websites spotlighted by thegoodwebguide are worth checking out and knowing about. Articles, links and videos will keep you up to date on trends in science, art, fashion, music, food and culture (everything from Jedi kittens to history podcasts); read/watch, and you will feel ready to talk about most anything. There’s also a special section just for teens.
Modern Manners Guy: Quick and Dirty Tips for a More Polite Life
www.quickanddirtytips.com
From handling coffee house squatters to Apple Store etiquette, this is my favorite “of-the-moment” resource for an honest, funny and helpful take on modern “how-to’s.” You can follow host Richie Frieman on Twitter and Facebook, read his blog or even listen to his frequent (quick) podcasts.
(Actually, ALL of the Experts on “Quick and Dirty Tips” are worth your time—but they may not all relate to your life in particular…your choice on which to read and which to skip.)
Emily Post Online: Teen Scene
www.emilypost.com/teen-scene
Emily Post is the maven of all things mannerly. Her online teen site handles specifics like how to actually ask someone on a date, plan a party or avoid cafeteria food fights.
Stop Bullying
www.stopbullying.gov
Tips, tools and webisodes to help you deal with the real world stuff. Links to Cartoon Network’s anti-bullying comic contests, too.
Bullying UK
www.bullying.co.uk
A digital poster creator, phone/skye support and advice for dealing with bullying online and at school.
Style for All!
Clothes
www.abercrombie.com, www.boden.co.uk and www.bodenusa.com (for both the UK and US sites: select “johnnie b” teen line) and www.jcrew.com
These are some of my favorite major (international) fashion sites for when you want that “young, neat and trendy” look the NT world tends to hold as most respectable. This doesn’t have to be your fashion aesthetic—just as long as you know it is what generally is considered classic and stylish.
Guy Stuff
For the Young Dude (FTYD)
www.fortheyoungdude.com
Written by a 22-year-old guy with a knack for wit, this blog-a-zine (my word) covers everything a “young dude” needs to know: grooming, entertainment, design/technology, style and culture trends. You can also follow FTYD on Twitter, Tumblr and Facebook.
Beauty and Make-Up
Bobbi Brown
www.bobbibrowncosmetics.com and www.prettypowerful.bobbibrowncosmetics.com
This is a make-up campaign celebrating being pretty without make-up—or with. Your choice. Global make-up authority Bobbi Brown offers how-to’s, classic color palettes, fresh skin-care and the “be who you are” philosophy. (There’s even a section under “Learn/Books” which will link you to Brown’s bestsellers, Makeup Manual, Beauty Rules and Teenage Beauty.)
Dolly Bow Bow: Fashion. Beauty. Life.
www.dollybowbow.blogspot.com and www.dollybowbow.co.uk
The young, talented British jewelry designer behind Dolly Bow Bow (both blog and shop) was named one of the Top 22 Beauty Experts Under 22, and it shows. Her girlie-girl site is a visual feast of photography, video how-tos and trend suggestions.
Gift-Giving
Giving a spot-on gift takes a lot of attention and thought—the more you know about a person, the better the gift you choose will reflect his or her personality. It’s how you show appreciation, affection and value for the people in your life. And a lot of Aspies find it really, really tough. So here’s some help! These are some of my favorite sites for standout, creative, FUN gift-giving.
Etsy
www.etsy.com
Perpetual Kid
www.perpetualkid.com
UncommonGoods
www.uncommongoods.com
For Your Teachers, Parents and Family
In Print
(My first book is really the “other half” of this book. Asperkids is meant to give NTs a lesson (or two) in learning to speak Aspie. The better they understand you as you learn to better understand them…well, everything’s just better for everyone.)
Cook O’Toole, J. (2012) Asperkids: An Insider’s Guide to Loving, Understanding and Teaching Children with Asperger Syndrome. London: Jessica Kingsley Publishers.
Wiseman, R. (2009) Queen Bees and Wannabes: Helping Your Daughter Survive Cliques, Gossip, Boyfriends, and the New Realities of Girl World. New York: Three Rivers Press.
Online
Asperkids Online
www.asperkids.com
The web link to everything I can possibly think of to share with the adults in your life.
Social Thinking® Online
www.socialthinking.com
A bit of everything created by Michelle Garcia Winner and the idea of “thinking about you thinking about me.” This is a great place to find all sorts of books and blogs.
Asperkids—Getting All Social On You
www.facebook.com/asperkids, www.pinterest.com/asperkids and www.twitter.com/asperkidstweets
Inspiring quotes, important tools—plus Vulcans singing “The Police” and a Lego Princess Leia making photocopies of her bum. It’s all here, and it’s how I hope you’ll stay connected with me.
References
Books
Attwood, T. (2007) The Complete Guide to Asperger Syndrome. London: Jessica Kingsley Publishers.
Carnegie, D. (1936) How to Win Friends and Influence People. New York: Simon & Schuster.
Fulgham, R. (2004) All I Really Need to Know I Learned in Kindergarten (15th anniversary edition). New York: Random House Publishing Group.
Henricks, R.G. (1989) Translation of original text by Lao Tzu. Lao-Tzu: Te-Tao Ching. New York: Ballantine Books.
Kennedy, L. (1992) Business Etiquette for the Nineties: Your Ticket to Career Success. South Carolina, SC: Palmetto Pub.
Seuss T.G. (1954) Horton Hears a Who! New York: Random House.
Vilord, T.J. (ed.) (2002) 1001 Motivational Quotes for Success. Cherry Hill, NJ: Garden State Publishing.
White, E.B. (1952) Charlotte’s Web. New York, NY: HarperCollins Publishers, Inc.
Whitman, W. “Song of Myself,” in Leaves of Grass. Nashville, TN: American Renaissance.
Wiseman, R. (2009) Queen Bees and Wannabes: Helping Your Daughter Survive Cliques, Gossip, Boyfriends, and the New Realities of Girl World. New York: Three Rivers Press.
Online
Tumblr Blogs
Etiquette for a Gentleman and Etiquette for a Lady
www.etiquetteforagentleman.tumblr.com and www.etiquetteforalady.tumblr.com
Information and Resources
Social Thinking® Online
www.socialthi
nking.com
Media
“The Friendship Algorithm” on The Big Bang Theory. Warner Brothers Television. Written by Chuck Lorre, 19 January 2009.
“Lean On Me” (1972) Written and originally recorded by Bill Withers. Club Nouveau version released in 1987.
Phineas and Ferb. Disney Channel Original Productions.
Personal Communication
Dr. Irm Bellavia (“Hold the Pillow” concept), Adolescent and Pediatric Psychiatry, Charlotte, NC, May, 2011.
Quotation Pages Sources
BrainyQuote
www.brainyquote.com
Database includes referenced quotes by Henry Ford, Ralph Waldo Emerson and Alan Alda.
SearchQuotes
www.searchquotes.com
Database includes referenced quote by Maya Angelou.
by the same author
Asperkids
An Insider’s Guide to Loving, Understanding and Teaching Children with Asperger Syndrome
Jennifer Cook O’Toole
Foreword by Liane Holliday Willey
ISBN 978 1 84905 902 2
eISBN 978 0 85700 647 9
As a parent, a teacher and an Aspie herself, Jennifer O’Toole provides the definitive insider’s view of Asperger syndrome. She shows how to help children on the spectrum by understanding how they think and by exploiting their special interests to promote learning. Her strategies work because she thinks like the children that she teaches.
This exciting book is full of effective and fun ways of engaging with children with Asperger syndrome. Jennifer explains how theory of mind difficulties create the need for concrete forms of communication, and provides original methods to inspire imagination through sensorial experiences. In particular she reveals the untapped power of special interests, showing how to harness these interests to encourage academic, social and emotional growth.
Affirming that different doesn’t mean defective, this book offers the insight and guidance that parents, educators, and other professionals need to connect with the Asperkids in their life and get them excited about learning.
of related interest
Freaks, Geeks and Asperger Syndrome
A User Guide to Adolescence
Luke Jackson
Foreword by Tony Attwood
ISBN 978 1 84310 098 0
eISBN 978 1 84642 356 7
Winner of the NASEN & TES Special Educational Needs Children’s Book Award 2003
Have you ever been called a freak or a geek? Have you ever felt like one? Luke Jackson is 13 years old and has Asperger Syndrome. Over the years Luke has learned to laugh at such names but there are other aspects of life which are more difficult. Adolescence and the teenage years are a minefield of emotions, transitions and decisions and when a child has Asperger Syndrome, the result is often explosive.
Luke has three sisters and one brother in various stages of their adolescent and teenage years but he is acutely aware of just how different he is and how little information is available for adolescents like himself.
Drawing from his own experiences and gaining information from his teenage brother and sisters, he wrote this enlightening, honest and witty book in an attempt to address difficult topics such as bullying, friendships, when and how to tell others about AS, school problems, dating and relationships, and morality.
Luke writes briefly about his younger autistic and AD/HD brothers, providing amusing insights into the antics of his younger years and advice for parents, carers and teachers of younger AS children. However, his main reason for writing was because “so many books are written about us, but none are written directly to adolescents with Asperger Syndrome. I thought I would write one in the hope that we could all learn together”.
The Complete Guide to Asperger’s Syndrome
Tony Attwood
ISBN 978 1 84310 495 7 (hardback)
ISBN 978 1 84310 669 2 (paperback)
eISBN 978 1 84642 559 2
The Complete Guide to Asperger’s Syndrome is the definitive handbook for anyone affected by Asperger’s syndrome (AS). It brings together a wealth of information on all aspects of the syndrome for children through to adults.
Drawing on case studies and personal accounts from Attwood’s extensive clinical experience, and from his correspondence with individuals with AS, this book is both authoritative and extremely accessible. Chapters examine:
• causes and indications of the syndrome
• the diagnosis and its effect on the individual
• theory of mind
• the perception of emotions in self and others
• social interaction, including friendships
• long-term relationships
• teasing, bullying and mental health issues
• the effect of AS on language and cognitive abilities, sensory sensitivity, movement and co-ordination skills
• career development.
There is also an invaluable frequently asked questions chapter and a section listing useful resources for anyone wishing to find further information on a particular aspect of AS, as well as literature and educational tools.
Essential reading for families and individuals affected by AS as well as teachers, professionals and employers coming in contact with people with AS, this book should be on the bookshelf of anyone who needs to know or is interested in this complex condition.
Aspergirls
Empowering Females with Asperger Syndrome
Rudy Simone
Foreword by Liane Holliday Willey
ISBN 978 1 84905 826 1
eISBN 978 0 85700 289 1
*Gold Medal Winner in the Sexuality / Relationships Category of the 2011 IPPY Awards*
* Honorary Mention in the 2010 BOTYA Awards Women’s Issues Category *
Girls with Asperger’s Syndrome are less frequently diagnosed than boys, and even once symptoms have been recognised, help is often not readily available. The image of coping well presented by AS females of any age can often mask difficulties, deficits, challenges, and loneliness.
This is a must-have handbook written by an Aspergirl for Aspergirls, young and old. Rudy Simone guides you through every aspect of both personal and professional life, from early recollections of blame, guilt, and savant skills, to friendships, romance and marriage. Employment, career, rituals and routines are also covered, along with depression, meltdowns and being misunderstood. Including the reflections of over thirty-five women diagnosed as on the spectrum, as well as some partners and parents, Rudy identifies recurring struggles and areas where Aspergirls need validation, information and advice. As they recount their stories, anecdotes, and wisdom, she highlights how differences between males and females on the spectrum are mostly a matter of perception, rejecting negative views of Aspergirls and empowering them to lead happy and fulfilled lives.
This book will be essential reading for females of any age diagnosed with AS, and those who think they might be on the spectrum. It will also be of interest to partners and loved ones of Aspergirls, and anybody interested either professionally or academically in Asperger’s Syndrome.
Pretending to be Normal
Living with Asperger’s Syndrome
Liane Holliday Willey
Foreword by Tony Attwood
ISBN 978 1 85302 749 9
eISBN 978 1 84642 210 2
Pretending to be Normal tells the story of a woman who, after years of self-doubt and self-denial, learned to embrace her Asperger’s syndrome traits with thanksgiving and joy. Chronicling her life from her earliest memories through her life as a university lecturer, writer, wife and mother, Liane Holliday Willey shares, with insight and warmth, the daily struggles and challenges that face many of those who have Asperger’s Syndrome. Pretending to be Normal invites its readers to welcome the Asperger community with open acceptance, for it makes it clear that, more often than not, they are capable, viable, interesting and kind people who simply find unique ways to exhibit those qualities.
Th
e last part of the book consists of a series of substantial appendices which provide helpful coping strategies and guidance, based on the author’s own experience, for a range of situations. This positive and humane book will provide not only insight into the Asperger world which will prove invaluable for the professionals who work with people with Asperger’s Syndrome, but also hope and encouragement for other people with Asperger’s Syndrome, their families, and their friends.