Heaven Sent

by Tania Sparks

  But right now I have two choices; I can either go and talk to him or I can sneak out the back door and disappear for ever! If I go and talk to him, I will more than likely get closure on my fixation with him and I’ll be able to finally put those feelings to rest and move on with my life. If I don’t go and talk to him, I will always have those memories and the daydreams will be kept alive. Closure is over-rated anyway isn’t it? Sneaking out the back door is looking like a really good option.

  But that’s not what I do. What I do is tidy my hair, touch up my make-up and head to the lobby.

  Chapter 2

  Ash is standing in the lobby with his back to me. He’s fidgeting with his leather wrist band and looks anxious. As I get closer to him he must hear my heels tapping on the marble floor. He turns around and has the warmest smile on his face, “Hey Angel.” he says as his eyes rake over me, starting at my face and slowly moving down my body, pausing for a few seconds at my breasts and again at my hips, all the way down to my toes then back up again. How can one look have me so instantly turned on? It’s ridiculous. I scold myself for being so pathetic.

  “Hi Ash.” I say as he holds out his hand and takes my hand in his. I don’t know why I let him hold my hand, it seems rather intimate, but it feels bizarrely right. He starts leading me towards the elevator. “Ash, where are you going?, I thought we could just stay here in the lobby.”

  “Angel…” he sighs heavily, “…I can’t stay here, we’ll get mobbed by fans.”

  “I’m not going to your hotel room Ash!” I exclaim as I shake my hand out of his and take a few steps backwards. I’m sure he’s used to girls just dropping their panties as soon as he flashes that perfect smile of his. He’d better not think that I’m as easy as one of those skanks.

  “Why, what’s the problem?” he asks with a puzzled look on his face.

  “I’m not one of your groupies Ash, I’m not that easy!” I feel a sudden surge of panic.

  “Come on sweetheart, I promise we’ll just talk, cross my heart.” He smirks as he makes a cross sign across his chest. Grinning, he shakes his head and again rakes his eyes over me from head to toe then back to my face again. His face turns serious and with raised eyebrows he says, “Angel, I have to admit, you look as sexy as hell in high heels wearing that business suit…but honestly…I just want to talk.”

  My face turns bright red. Of course he only wants to talk! How could I have presumed he wanted to do more? He just has me all rattled and flustered, I’m not my usual confident self. I need to get control of my emotions – and my body for that matter which seems to be perking up considerably in response to Ash’s presence!

  “Come on Angel.” he says softly grabbing my hand again. “You look adorable when you blush. Just talking, I promise.” He gently pulls me towards the elevator. I follow hesitantly. He pushes the call button and the doors open straight away. Ash steps in and pulls me in behind him. He lets go of my hand so he can swipe his access card as he presses the button for the penthouse floor. I take advantage of the break in contact and quickly move to the far wall of the large elevator and lean my back against the glass. Ash turns around with a smirk on his face, “You avoiding me Angel?” he asks.

  “No.” I snap a little too abruptly.

  “Okay.” he mumbles, shaking his head like he doesn’t believe me at all. He stands at the furthest possible corner away looking at me with his arms crossed, his eyes focussed on my eyes. The silence is making me feel awkward, but I try to stand still and not show my nerves. Ash doesn’t look awkward at all. He looks calm and confident. After a few minutes the ding of the elevator sounds indicating we’ve reached the penthouse floor. Ash takes a few strides towards me and grabs my hand and gently pulls me out of the elevator doors towards one of the smaller suites. “Follow me Angel.”

  I’m surprised to see a very empty looking corridor. The people that had crowded the hallway and rooms only a few hours ago have all disappeared. There are no bottles on the floor and the music is gone. Ash swipes his key card and opens the door. It’s one of the smaller suites, not the main penthouse suite that Jim and I had gone into earlier that morning.

  “Come on in Angel.” Ash says softly as he places his hand at the small of my back and guides me inside. It’s a modern, lavish suite and it’s stunning, but what is even more amazing is the view. Through the full height windows that comprise the whole back wall, I can see the sun is just coming up, but the lights of the city are still glimmering. It’s breath-taking.

  “Why don’t you have a seat on the couch Angel?” Ash motions his arm indicating that I should sit down. I make my way over and take a seat. “Would you like a drink? … or you’ve just finished your shift, how about some breakfast and coffee?, I could order some room service.”

  “Breakfast would be fantastic Ash, I’m starving.” I realise that I haven’t eaten since yesterday morning when I grabbed a piece of toast before my flight.

  “Great, you still like pancakes?” he asks.

  “Sounds good.” I smile shyly. Ash still remembers that my favourite breakfast is pancakes. Back in Oklahoma we had spent many mornings snuggled in a booth at Beverly’s Pancake House nursing our hangovers after a night out drinking and socialising with our friends.

  Ash walks over to the kitchen, picks up the phone and places an order. He sits down at the other end of the couch facing me, his legs folded up underneath him. “See I can be good! I’ll stay on my side. You just make sure you stay on yours.” He smiles cheekily and gestures at the space between us. “So Angel, tell me what you’ve been up to for the last seven years.”

  “Seven years is a long time Ash, I truly don’t know where to start.”

  “Yeah,” he sighs sadly, looking almost apologetic. “Seven years is a really long time. I’ve missed you Angel.”

  “Ash.” I whisper. We just sit looking at each other.

  Ash breaks the silence first. “Why don’t you start with what you’re doing now. How long have you lived here in San Francisco?” He asks.

  “I don’t live in San Francisco.” I answer. Ash looks at me with a confused look on his face. “I actually live in LA, I’m a specialist contractor. I move around various hotels helping them out when they need expert assistance. Most of the time I’m based in LA but I also travel around the country a lot. That’s why I’m here in San Fran, the usual Night Manager has gone on holiday, but she said something about some troublesome rock stars that she didn’t want to leave to junior staff.” I smirk at him and bat my eyelashes insolently.

  Ash grins, ignoring my snipe at him and his band being troublesome, he excitedly exclaims, “I can’t believe you live in LA. How long have you been living there?”

  “Just a couple of years.” I reply.

  Ash goes on to tell me that he has a place in LA that he calls home. He and the band base themselves in LA when they’re not touring. Of course I actually already knew that as I’d followed their careers throughout the seven years, but I keep that to myself, I don’t want him to think I’m some weird stalker! There’s a knock on the door as I hear the words ‘Room Service’. “You just stay here Angel, I’ll go let them in.”

  “I can’t let them see me here in your room Ash – they’re hotel staff, they’ll recognise me and wonder what the hell I’m doing in some rock star’s room!”

  “Why don’t you go and freshen up then Angel. The bathroom’s through there.” He indicates to a partially closed door.

  I go into the bathroom, taking my purse and closing the door behind me. I tidy my make-up, put on some more lip gloss and look around the bathroom cabinets until I find a hair brush. I take my hair down from my bun and brush it so that it’s no longer straggly and my dark brown waves are hanging smoothly over my shoulders and half way down my back. By the time I’ve finished in the bathroom and make my way out to the kitchen, the room service attendant has left and there are half a dozen plates set out on the dining table and the rich aroma of coffee fills the room. “That smells so goo
d.” I say.

  “You’re looking as beautiful as ever Angel, I’ve always loved your hair down like that.” He smiles warmly at me and pulls out a chair at the dining table, indicating for me to sit down. “Come, have some breakfast.” He starts to take the silver covers off the food. It all looks delicious.

  “I know I said I was starving Ash, but how much food did you order?”

  “I just got a bit of everything…look, here are the pancakes!” he says as he lifts the silver cover off a large stack of soft fluffy pancakes. “You want some coffee?” he asks as he hands me a cup of steaming hot black coffee.

  “Yes please!” I exclaim as I grab the cup from him.

  “I’ve put in two sugars – I hope that’s still how you take it?” he asks.

  “Perfect.” I say. Closing my eyes, I take a large sip and savour the taste as I moan in delight. My first coffee of the morning is always pure pleasure. I hear Ash make a groaning noise. As I open my eyes I notice that he’s standing there watching me, his eyes burning intensely.

  He growls, “Fuck Angel, you’re killing me here. You shouldn’t make those noises, you’re making me think of all the ways I could make you moan like that … I’m trying desperately to be good here and you’re not making it easy.”

  I peer at him over the top of my coffee cup, I’m glad I’m not the only one that’s being effected by us seeing each other again. Closing my eyes I take another large sip and moan again seductively, even louder this time. I lower my coffee cup to the table and purr, “Oh God, that coffee is sooo good.”

  Ash shakes his head and smirks as he studies me carefully.

  “You are going to eat some of this breakfast too aren’t you?” I ask innocently pretending that I didn’t notice the effect my flirting is having on him.

  “Sure.” He shakes his head and takes a seat opposite me. We spend the next half an hour eating the delicious breakfast, mainly in silence interspersed with polite chat about nothing in particular. I think both of us have a lot going on in our heads and the sexual tension is certainly buzzing under the surface.

  I really don’t know what could happen from here. It’s been such a long time and we have such different lives. Perhaps we could remain friends and keep in touch on occasion? Maybe that would help me move on?

  After we finish eating we move back to the couch. Ash still sitting at one end facing me, and me at the other end with my legs crossed facing him. “Tell me about the rest of your years in college Angel. Did you enjoy yourself? Lots of college parties?” He smiles waiting for my answer.

  There’s a long silence. I don’t really want to tell Ash that I had spent every night the first eighteen months after he had broken up with me locked in my dorm room depressed and crying. As the awkward silence continues I can feel the moisture pooling in my eyes and a tear escapes and runs down my cheek.

  “Angel, why are you crying?” Ash exclaims with shock. Concern is etched on his face replacing the smile he had only a few moments ago. He quickly moves towards me and holds both of my hands in his. “What’s wrong Angel? Please tell me something terrible didn’t happen to you at college? Please sweetheart, tell me what’s got you so upset?”

  “It was so hard Ash.” I sob as tears now run freely down my face.

  “What was hard Angel? College? It can’t be the work, you were always so smart and you’d been doing so well before I left.”

  “That’s the problem Ash … you left.” I whisper. “It broke me. I was so depressed for months and months. It wasn’t easy. It wasn’t the same without you. You were impossible to get over. I hated that you were gone. I hated that you’d moved on and left me alone and broken hearted.” I sniff.

  “No Angel, no…” he whispers. “…I never moved on. I’ve thought about you every single day for the past seven years.”

  He sounds sincere, but I find it really difficult to believe. I’ve seen countless pictures of him with girls over the years. “Then why Ash?” I sob. It was the question I had asked myself so many times, but now I have the opportunity to get some answers from him, “Why did you really break-up with me?” I stammer. I had always concluded that what he really wanted was to live the rock star lifestyle with all the girls and partying.

  “Oh Angel,” he sighs sadly. “We spoke every single day when I first went on tour. I missed you like fucking crazy and you sounded so miserable. You weren’t going out, you weren’t having any fun. I felt so guilty that you were missing out on all the normal college stuff because of me. I didn’t think that it was right that you were sitting around waiting for me. Then as soon as the band got that national tour, I just knew I had to let you go. I was ruining your life. I didn’t want to break-up with you but there was no other way. I couldn’t be there for you. I loved you so much Angel, I didn’t want you to be sad, I wanted you to enjoy college, not sit at home pining over me. You deserved so much more. I thought you would be better off without me. It was the hardest decision I’ve ever made in my life.”

  Ash’s face looks grief-stricken. Had he really thought that I could move on so easily? He was my soul mate. I loved him with all my heart. Even after all this time I had never really moved on. After a very long time I had managed to not cry every day. I had finally thrown all my efforts into my studies and had graduated from college with honours. I struggled, but I got on with my life, but I had never gotten over him.

  After a long silence, both of us have tears streaming down our faces. Ash says, “Ah shit, I really fucked everything up didn’t I Angel?” He lets go of my hands and runs his hands through his hair and shakes his head and whispers, “I’ve never stopped thinking about you, I’ve missed you every single day. Come here Angel,” he reaches out his arms, “I need to hold you.” I scoot over and snuggle into his chest. It feels good, so warm, comforting and familiar. We sit in silence as he encircles me in his arms and strokes my hair affectionately. We say nothing. We’re both taking comfort in each other’s embrace.

  I don’t know how long we stay there like that holding each other, it must be at least an hour. Finally I say, “Ash, I’m really tired, I’ve been up for nearly twenty-four hours. I need to go back to my room and get some sleep.”

  Ash picks up a cushion from the floor and places it on his lap. He pats the cushion and says “You can sleep on me. I’m not ready to let you go yet.” I lean down and put my head on the cushion. Ash continues to stroke my hair and twists the long strands gently in his fingers. “Do you have to work tonight Angel?” he asks.

  “No,” I mumble, “I have the next two nights off.” Before I know it my eye lids are getting heavy and we both drift off to sleep snuggled up together on the couch.

  ~~~

  There’s a loud thumping at the door and we both wake with a start. It sounds as though three or four people are pounding on the door at once! Someone yells, “Ash wake up you lazy shit!” Another person yells, “Come on dickhead, we need to get going.”

  “Ah hell.” Ash sighs. “Sounds like the band’s up and awake, we’ve arranged to go play some mini golf this afternoon before sound check.”

  “Mini golf! That’s not very rock star of you!” I sleepily snicker. “What’s the time?” I mumble as I rub my eyes and try to raise my head.

  “Must be about one, and there’s nothing wrong with mini golf!” Ash grins as we untangled ourselves from each other.

  “Hell Ash,” I moan “You might be able to get by on hardly any sleep, but I need more than a couple of hours.”

  “Come on, up you get lazy bones.” Ash says as he jumps off the couch and grabs my hands pulling me up. “You’re going to come and play mini golf with us!”

  “No I’m not Ash! I need to sleep, and I’m sure the guys don’t want me being dragged along with you.”

  “No honestly, they won’t mind. I’ve told them all about you Angel.” Ash yells towards the door to the guys, “We’ll meet you down at the limo in fifteen.” It goes quiet, so I presume they agree.

  “I have to get change
d Ash. I’m not going to play mini golf in my business suit!”

  “Why don’t you pop back to your room, get changed and meet me back here in ten minutes.”

  “Okay, I guess I’ll have to catch up on some sleep later.” I say as I grab my purse.

  Ash grabs my hand and walks me to the door. “Don’t take too long Angel, I’ll miss you.” He smiles warmly as he looks at me questioningly.

  He must think I might not return, so I squeeze his hand and reassure him, “I’ll be back in a couple of minutes, I’ll just quickly get changed.” I smile at him and whisper, “I’ll miss you too.”

  I walk along the corridor to the elevator and push the call button. I look back towards the suite and Ash is still standing in the doorway watching me. I wave shyly to him and he smiles and gives me a chin nod. I step inside and push the button for the fifth floor where my room is located. Once the elevator reaches the fifth floor I get out and go inside my room. I search through my bag to find something to wear that is suitable for playing mini golf. Luckily I had packed some casual gear as well as my normal business suits. I decide on some jean shorts and a red tank top. I slip off my high heels and put on my red converse. After checking my face in the bathroom mirror, touching up my make-up and spraying on some perfume, I brush my hair and pull it up into a high ponytail. I head out the door and I’m back up to Ash’s suite within seven or eight minutes.

  Chapter 3

  I knock on Ash’s door. “Coming.” I hear him yell out. The door opens and Ash is standing there looking refreshed. He’s changed his clothes too. He’s now wearing black jeans, a faded vintage Jack Daniels t-shirt and black boots. OMG, could he look any sexier? He grabs my hand, steps out of his suite and we walk towards the elevators. The elevator descends slowly. Ash and I stand there, hand in hand, both with big smiles on our faces not saying a word. We go right down to the basement level rather than to the lobby. As the doors open to the hotel services area, I glance at Ash questioning why we’re in this part of the hotel. Ash sees the confusion on my face and says, “It’s easier if we go in and out of the hotel through the service exits, otherwise we get mobbed by fans.”