The Beginning of Never

by O. E. Boroni

  “What’re you doing?” I whispered. I couldn’t find my voice.

  “Getting you to talk to me?” he said, sounding like he was trying to convince himself that that was a valid excuse.

  “Are you kidding me?” I asked.

  He shut his eyes then and brought his hand to rest on his forehead, his chest heaving up and down from trying to control his breathing.

  I watched him, and even though I was mad at him, I couldn’t control the longing for him that filled my heart. With my hand on his shoulder, I lifted myself up on my tip toes for another kiss.

  I was mad at myself for doing this but God help me, kissing him had to be the best feeling in the entire world. It felt like everything had come alive inside of me, and I never wanted it to end. But it had to, so after savoring the taste and fire of him one last time, I finally pulled away.

  “I hate you,” I said as I leaned back against the locker, and pounded on his chest with my fist.

  He chuckled. And then said, “Lenora I really am sorry.”

  I waited, but he didn’t say anything more.

  “Is that it?” I asked, and just then, the bell that signaled the start of lunch time rang throughout the school. I didn’t care but he did. He let go of my hand and took a step back.

  “I’ll talk to you soon,” he said apologetically, and then turned around to walk away.

  I stared after him until he disappeared out of sight, just as people began filling the hallway.

  Picking up my crumpled test paper that had fallen to the ground, I turned around to work the combinations on my padlock. It budged this time around so slipping it off the hook, I pulled the locker open and tossed the crumpled test paper into a corner. Then I noticed the cream colored envelope that was sitting on the shelf. I pried it open and brought out the photograph that was inside.

  It was the picture of the both of us that he had taken at the waterfall.

  « CHAPTER 18 »

  I didn’t see Nathan for the rest of the week, and by the time Saturday rolled by, I was more than ready to head home with Elisa.

  She lived in South Ealing- London, and from the moment we arrived, I was made to feel more at home than I could have ever hoped for.

  Her mom, boisterous and warm, had approached me with two small children closely at her heels. She had her hair in a loose ponytail, a spatula in hand and a flowered apron covering her jeans and T-shirt.

  At first I wasn't sure what would qualify as an appropriate greeting for her, but she solved that dilemma for me when she captured me in a bear hug the moment I walked through the door.

  Her dad had been extremely polite and gentle. We didn't get much out of him on the four-hour ride from school to their place, and not much thereafter either. Elisa's younger sister- Melissa -who was thirteen, had appeared beside her mum as soon as she released me. She smiled shyly at us, and then returned to her room.

  The younger two, Justin and Jeremiah, just snuck around me until dinner had ended that night. And each time I would turn to look at them, they would duck and squeal in delight at the stranger they thought they were hiding from.

  I played along with them and pretended that I indeed had no clue that I was being followed. They were extremely adorable; Justin, who was four, had dark blond curly hair just like Elisa, while Jeremiah, also known as ‘the cherub’ because of his pudgy frame was three-years-old, and had his dad’s straight dark hair.

  It didn't take me long to like Elisa’s family, and although her mom's constant screaming was a lot to take in at first, the warmth I felt from all of them was as unfamiliar as it was exhilarating. I shared Elisa's room with her, and since I hadn’t brought too much with me from school, it didn't take me long to unpack and settle down.

  We were allowed to sleep in, but the constant noise from the ground floor hindered our enjoyment of it. By the afternoon, Elisa's mom’s screaming drove us downstairs for a late breakfast. We had to fend for ourselves since her mom had disappeared into her bedroom, and at first I was shy, but by the time Jeremiah had bathed me twice with spoon catapults from his cereal bowl, my reserve flew out the window. Seizing his bowl, I ran around the kitchen with it while he squealed and pursued me. Justin soon joined in the chase, and before long we were all on the floor, drenched with milk and cereal.

  Elisa avoided our chaos and chose to silently make toasts for us, which I later ate with ice cream that the boys had tricked me into stealing for them. Apparently it was prohibited until dinner, but since I couldn't be faulted for breaking rules I knew nothing about, I automatically became their fall guy.

  When we were done, we helped Elisa's mom clean out the backyard. She’d been saving it for Elisa to do and it was almost a joy to see the pain on her face, when her mom broke the news to her. We had completed it happily though, and in no time we were finished and in front of the television for the remaining part of the evening. Jeremiah stuck to me like glue all night, so I had to be the one to put him to bed.

  He grinned at me and refused to close his eyes, even after I’d gone through three of his story books. An hour later, I woke up with my head on his duvet and thankfully, he was asleep. I switched off his bedside lamp, and returned to my own bed- exhausted, but happy. The next day proved to be even better.

  *

  The bookstore was only about twenty minutes from the house so Elisa and I got up early, and walked over. I was very excited at what we would meet and the moment I walked in, I fell in love with it.

  It wasn't an intimidating bookstore, but a cozy one. It wasn't the kind of place that scared you from rendering any of the books out of place, but one that made you want to cross your legs on the floor to devour a title and then crawl on to explore.

  At first it looked too small, but when I got beyond the narrow entrance, I saw that it opened up into a much bigger space. In some areas, the books that weren’t on the shelves were stacked from the floor to the ceiling. In a way, it made the place look like a well-kept attic of books stored by members of the family over the years.

  We immediately headed to her dad's office, which was at the back of the bookstore. Elisa knocked once on the ancient looking door and without waiting for permission to enter, she dragged me in after her.

  Her dad's office surprisingly contained only a few books that sat on a small bookshelf behind him. He was going through some documents on his desk, but raised his head the moment we came in.

  "Hey girls," he greeted with a wide smile. Elisa went over to give him a hug while I scanned my eyes around the office. There were some opened boxes filled with books on the floor, so I ignored Elisa and her dad and tried inclining my head so that I could see what kind of books they held. I straightened a few moments later to find them watching me.

  "Do you like books Lenora?" he asked with a gentle smile on his face.

  I nodded in response.

  "Well, Elisa isn’t much of a book person but with you here, I’m sure she’ll enjoy helping out. Two of my staff took some time off this week so I’m glad the both of you will be around to assist Mark.”

  As if on cue, there was a small knock on the door. Elisa’s dad told the person to come in, and introduced the tall brown-haired guy that entered the room as Mark; he looked no older than twenty years of age, or twenty-two at most.

  After sparing I and Elisa a small smile, he handed the clipboard that he had in his hand to Elisa’s dad. Elisa on the other hand kept her now enlarged eyes on him, and then turned to me with a ‘do-you-see-how-cute-he-is?’ look on her face. I just shook my head at her. Her dad signed whatever was on the clipboard and then handed it back to Mark.

  “Girls, could you go with Mark- he’ll show you what to get started on.”

  “Okay,” Elisa said eagerly, and left his side.

  I nodded politely and followed, as she walked out of his office. Mark stopped by a shelf along the way to check on something, while Elisa and I headed straight for the counter. She turned around to make sure that he couldn’t see her, and then buckled
her knees to lean weakly against the counter.

  "Did you see him?" she mouthed like all the breath had been sucked out of her.

  "Did I see who?" I deliberately repeated, frowning, because I was certain that she had a boyfriend.

  She straightened and slapped my arm, then stretched her neck to get another glimpse of him. "Lennie, I’m just checking him out. It’s not a big deal.”

  "Said everyone who ever got into trouble," I said, and reached out to stroke a stack of magazines that sat on the counter.

  Just then, a waft of strong perfume reached my nostrils and I turned around to see Mark behind us. "So, you guys are going to have to help me arrange the new books that just came in," he said politely. "They're in the reading section."

  I turned back to Elisa to see her absent-mindedly twirling her hair, so I grabbed her hand and dragged her away before she could become anymore embarrassing. She grudgingly followed me until we reached the reading section, and found the boxes on the floor.

  There were no windows in this part of the store, which seemed necessary since the walls seemed to be made out of shelves of books. A beautiful antique chandelier hung from the ceiling and gave the area a warm glow. Two huge black sofas surrounded by a low wooden coffee table sat in the middle of the room, inviting me to collapse on them with a book in hand and a steaming cup of anything.

  Saving the mental image for later, I sunk to the floor and dragged a box to myself. Elisa did the same, and after explaining what we were supposed to do, we got to work.

  *

  Three hours later, Elisa let out a loud yawn as she stretched her arms above her head, and then laid down on the floor.

  "I'm tired," she complained, but I wasn’t. So far, sorting through the various novels had been exhilarating and more than enough to completely hold my attention.

  From the corner of my eye, I saw her suddenly sit up. "I'm going to go ask Mark to come with us for coffee,” she said and without asking for my opinion, went ahead to ask him. She came back with a huge smile on her face, and relayed his agreement. Within minutes we were out and on our way, Elisa's dad stationed at the counter until we returned.

  *

  The smell of pastries that assaulted me as we walked into the cafe made me inhale greedily. Although the place seemed really busy, I was able to find us a vacant table by the corner, while Elisa and Mark went over to the counter to place our orders. I took my seat and looked out through the dented, but polished wooden frame of the wide glass windows.

  Across the street, the sight of two toddlers tugging on the skirt of their mother as she placed bags of groceries in the trunk of her small car, made me smile as it reminded me of Elisa’s brothers. Earlier that morning, Jeremiah had woken up and called out to me just as Elisa and I had walked past his room. He’d made me promise to bring back a new story to read to him tonight and so far, I’d already found two for him.

  Just then, the sound of familiar laughter brought me back and I turned to see Mark and Elisa returning. Beside them was ... James?

  I instantly froze, and only recovered enough to send him a soft smile when he called out to me.

  Elisa saw my surprise and immediately explained. “Sorry, I forgot to mention- his dad owns the café." she said.

  James placed a tray of Styrofoam coffee cups and a plate of delicious looking scones on our table before turning to me. Elisa took her seat while Mark excused himself to go to the bathroom.

  "Wow! It’s so strange to see you here,” he said, a wide grin spread across his face. “What happened? Where you finally chased out of your country?”

  “Ha!” I said dryly. “Even if I was, I wouldn’t come here.”

  His mouth hung open; Elisa arched her eyebrow.

  “What’s that supposed to mean?” he asked.

  “Really, you guys- like you’re so happy to be in UK.” I lifted a scone to my mouth and took a bite.

  “Well I am,” he said. “What’s wrong with the UK?”

  “I’m not doing this now.”

  Elisa laughed. “She does have a point though James.”

  “What point? She hasn’t said anything.” He narrowed his eyes at her.

  “James go back to work,” I said, sincerely pleased to be talking to him but not in the frame of mind to fully engage in the conversation. Come to think of it, the only time I’d ever given him my full attention was the first day we met, and even then it was because I wanted information about Nathan. What was wrong with me?

  “Well, it’s nice to see you,” he said and gave my shoulder a fond squeeze. “I’ll come over to see you both soon.”

  “Wow,” Elisa said sarcastically. “I never thought I’d see the day.”

  He snatched away the scone that she was lifting to her lips, and walked quickly away.

  “Hey!” she called out, but he didn’t turn back. “You owe me a dozen of those when you come over!”

  I smiled at their banter as I lifted the Styrofoam cup to my lips. However, a scowl quickly replaced the smile when she turned to face me.

  "You forgot to tell me that James's dad owns this place?"

  "I really did,” she said. “I’m sorry. And besides, if I’d remembered to tell you anyway, you probably wouldn't have come."

  "For a good reason," I said exasperated. "What if he's here?"

  "Would that be so bad?" she asked.

  "I don't know," I said. "Still, I’m not saying it makes so much of a difference, but a little heads up would have been nice.”

  "He’s probably not here so, no harm done,” she said. “Maybe he went back home.”

  “Yeah, maybe,” I agreed, a little disappointed because I suspected that she was right. It still didn’t stop me from looking up every time I heard the entrance door swing open.

  Eventually, my compulsion paid off; I saw him the moment he walked into the café.

  He headed straight to the counter with the huge carton box that he had in his hands, and passed it over to a staff member who received it on the other side. He’d bunched up the sleeves of the black V-neck sweater that he wore, and had on a baseball cap that kept most of his face hidden from view.

  Still, I was able to see him perfectly and as I watched, stunned out of my mind that he was actually standing right there, I didn’t even realize when my hand reached out to grab hold of Elisa’s.

  She had been laughing with Mark about something, but stopped when I touched her to ask me what was wrong. My eyes were still on him, so I didn’t have to respond. She traced my line of sight and from somewhere beyond the ringing in my ears that had drowned out the noisy chatter of the café, I heard her gasp.

  He seemed to be receiving instructions from the staff member over the counter so we continued to watch him, until he straightened and turned around. My head snapped back so fast that I was dizzy for the next few seconds.

  “He’s seen us,” Elisa said, amused. My heart was pounding painfully in my chest.

  “Is he coming over?”

  “I don’t think so- he just smiled at me though.”

  “Stop looking at him,” I pleaded.

  “Don’t bother, he already caught you watching him before.”

  I swore under my breath, and raised the cup of coffee to my lips. Taking a sip, I took a moment to steady myself, and then because I couldn’t help it, I glanced back at him as discreetly as I could.

  Our eyes met this time around and immediately, I turned my head away. I wanted to leave.

  “He’s coming over,” Elisa said.

  “Can we leave?”

  She gave a low laugh. “Sure,” she said, and turned to ask Mark if he was ready to go.

  With a nod, Mark stood to his feet and so did I. I didn’t want to but my hand kept going up to my hair- trying to make it less of a mess and tucking the escaped tendrils back into the messy knot on my head. I was nervous, and it showed. Even Mark gave me a concerned look. Finally Nathan came up to us, and I felt his presence even before he spoke.

  I was now co
nsciously making the effort to breathe because all the blood in my body had rushed to my head. It felt like I was going to pass out at any moment. My legs had already turned rubbery, but I was used to that whenever he was near. So making sure to maintain a firm grip on the top of the chair, I turned around to face him.

  Elisa had already gone ahead to offer him an awkward hug; he seemed genuinely happy to see her. Then he took his cap off and quickly ran his fingers through his hair. He offered Mark his hand for a handshake and introduced himself. Mark took it and did the same. Then it was my turn.

  “Nora,” he greeted.

  I stretched my lips into a thin smile. “Hey.”

  His gaze lingered on me for a few more moments with a searing familiarity that although squirm-worthy, I sincerely hoped that I wasn’t just imagining in my head.

  “It’s nice to see you.”

  “You too. I mean me too… I mean us. It’s nice we seeing you.”

  I could feel Elisa’s head turn to me, but I refused to lower mine in shame. What was happening to me?

  “Me too,” he said with a smile. “I have work to do so I’ll see you all later?”

  “Yeah,” Elisa said. “Come by the store some time.”

  He didn’t understand what she meant.

  “James will explain,” she said, and waved him goodbye. He nodded and walked away.

  I waited a few more seconds for the strength to return to my legs, before letting go of the chair and walking out with them.

  “Come to the store sometime?” I said to Elisa, not sure if I was unhappy with her that she’d invited him over, or thankful.

  “Oh relax,” she said. “You can hide in my dad’s office if you don’t want to see him.”

  “What’s that supposed to mean?”

  She laughed softly, enjoying teasing me more than I would have liked. “And what was that back there? It’s nice we seeing you.”

  “Don’t judge me.”

  “Oh I will,” she said. “I am judging. Even I wasn’t half as bad when I started dating Matthew.”