Whispers of Hate

by Sanchit Garg

  Yes, that would do. I now request you to part away with it. Don’t sell it, but as in give in to someone…”

  I doubted his intentions, trying to test him, “Do you want to take it, Babaji?”

  He jerked back, “No! I don’t want it. Give it for something good. Something that would radiate positive energy and would benefit people on a bigger scale. Charity sort of a thing.”

  “Okay, Babaji! I would think about it. Anything else that you can tell me?”

  “I will, once you do what I told you to. I want to see the impact this one crucial step has on your life, and after that, I would further suggest other ways to improve your life. I don’t want you to do ten things at once, with none of them being fruitful, just one is required right now.”

  The people started praising him, “Babaji ki jai ho... Babaji is great.”

  “I hope with your help and the task you have given me; I would have a happy life again.”

  The other people started shouting in a happy tone, “You would. Believe in him. He always tells the truth.”

  I was about to stand up, when I saw a Donation Box just a little left of me, in front of the baba. And the moment I stood up, his gaze went to my pocket. With how he was looking at me, I knew he wanted me to drop some money into it. So, I walked a bit towards it. I didn’t think twice because I could give all my wealth if it meant everyone would be okay. I could have even given my life for that if it meant they were happy again, but some things in life are just not possible after a specific time passes. I dropped in a 20 Rupees note, and I could see him smiling.

  Without saying or doing anything else, I turned back, walked out straight from the door and reached back to the market from where I started. It was now time that I directed myself towards the library, but I knew that I needed to talk with some local retailers so that by the time I reached home the next day, I had something worthwhile to make father happy. To show him that I went to the city for work and not to enjoy. But, then this thought came into my mind that I could do that the next morning, too. Right now, I needed to focus on the books.

  Yes, I would still have time before heading home. So, that would be a good time to do the talking, when people are generally free and have some peace of mind. Right now, they are already busy with customers. So, for the time being, the library was my priority. Vinod had already told me the name of the library. All that I had to do now was to ask directions to it.

  I walked to a nearby cloth merchant.

  “Sir! Do you know where the Delhi Public Library is?”

  “What? I don’t know anything about it. I never even went to school after the sixth class. So, I don’t know where all those things are.”

  “Okay! No problem. Thank You."

  I controlled my laughter and anger and preferred to just walk away. Still, this was strange. Even though he never studied enough or liked doing that, he should have at least known what was near him or in the city. Maybe, people in the city don’t know about everything that happens around them. It’s like people in smaller places know everyone and everything, but in here, most of them keep to their own business.

  I stood out of the shop for some time, hoping that someone in well-dressed clothes or probably a student would pass by, as they were to be a better option to help me out. I saw a boy of around 16-18 years old, speeding on his bi-cycle to somewhere. I quickly rushed to the front of him and tried to stop him. He got scared, turned his bi-cycle’s handle and applied the brakes. To me, it felt like I was some kidnapper, trying to kidnap a girl, with the pose I stood in front of him. My legs were a meter apart and hands extended on both sides as if trying to catch him, just like a wicket-keeper from the game of cricket.

  He finally stopped; all sweating and panicking.

  He pleaded, “Hey, mister! What do you want from me? Let me go. I have to reach my home soon, or my mother would be frightened.”

  “Don’t worry. I don’t have any malevolent intentions. All I want from you is the location of Delhi Public Library. Do you know where it is?”

  His expressions turned calm now, “Yes, I do know where it is. But, you could have asked anyone for that…it’s quite famous. Why stop me, a child at that?”

  I scoffed, “Don’t you think I tried that already. So, I was looking for a student who could definitely help me out, and you did… Just tell me the directions to it, and you can go?”

  “It’s not too far from here. So, why don't you follow me? It’s hardly 450 meters from where we are standing.”

  I smiled, “Okay! Let’s go.”

  He drove his bi-cycle slowly, and I just walked behind him. 10 minutes passed, and we must have walked half a km, and the library was still not there. I kept on following him. 5 more minutes passed, but he still kept on going, which was doubting to me.

  I yelled at him, “Hey, boy! Where is the library?”

  In panic, he stopped his bi-cycle and turned back, “The library! Oh! I ‘m sorry. I'm really sorry. I completely forgot about it and took you on my house’s path.”

  He looked around him and continued, “Can you please excuse me and head back on the same path we came along. Just follow the path back for around 300 metres and, it would be noticeable to you.”

  Now, at this moment, I just wanted to kill him. The anger reached my head, and I could already imagine all the possible scenarios… of me hitting him or maybe dropping him down from his bi-cycle and beating him to a pulp and then stealing his bi-cycle away to reach the library. But I gulped it down. It was better this way. I couldn’t hit a child, no matter how angry I was.

  So, I just turned and started walking. I turned a bit to look back, and he was long gone. He felt he was presumably going to get beaten up and so maybe he sped up to his home.

  After another 5 minutes, I finally reached the place.

  How could I have not seen this on the way?

  Well, I was too occupied in just following him, considering that he would lead me to my destination. Just like a horse with eye blinds.

  I sighed in relief after reading the name on the building—Delhi Public Library, written in Bold letters. Finally, this is the one… I was excited, unlike anything. I wasn’t even this excited when Jai was about to be born. It was like I was about to unlock a larger mystery. Well, I hoped I could, and hope is a powerful factor.

  I entered the library, and the musty smell of books greeted me. This sweet, cosy feeling, making me feel like the one with the woods, except that there were no leaves or grass or soil here. There were just a lot of shelves containing more than thousands of books… only books and more books, some tables and chairs and, a librarian and kind of like an assistant. I walked to a shelf and was about to pick a book out when the assistant called me out.

  “Hey, you! Are you new here?”

  “Yes, I am. This is my first time here. Actually! I am looking for some books; can you help me out?”

  “I could, but I won’t allow you to touch any book, until and unless you get yourself registered by taking the membership.”

  I was confused, “Membership? What’s that? Just get it over with.”

  “You need to pay the membership fee and provide your basic details, including your local address, to get going.”

  “My local address?”

  “Yes, your local address. If you don’t have one, we can’t get you a membership.”

  I can give him Vinod’s address.

  “Okay! Let’s get to it then.”

  “Come along with me.”

  He took me to the far end of the big hall. There was a reception table adjacent to which the librarian was standing with a register in front of him.

  “Sir! This person is here to take the membership.”

  I nodded.

  The librarian looked at me with unfamiliar eyes, as if he didn’t want any more interaction with anyone and just wanted to get back to reading the book which was lying next to him. It felt as if he was doing this job just so he could read books all day, but didn’t want
people disturbing him in his precious time. Like the feeling when you are eating food, and someone comes in the middle and stops you when the food is halfway between your mouth and your plate. He handed me two forms to fill out and asked me to deposit 2 rupees for the membership. I quickly gave him the money and then moved to fill out the forms as fast as possible. It was like he was occupied, and I too wanted to go back to the bookshelves. After three minutes, I returned him the filled forms, and he gave me the number-1210 to remember, probably the membership number, and it was done.

  “Okay, Sir! You can read whatever your heart fancies.”

  I laughed internally. I wanted to ask him whether I could read the book lying on his desk but stopped myself from doing that.

  There were so many books and so many shelves, but I didn’t want to ask the librarian about it and make him despise me, so instead, I called out to the assistant.

  “Sir! Do you know where I can find books on ghosts?”

  Looking confused, he replied, “Ghost books?”

  I clarified, “The ones that may contain stories of ghosts, horror stories and how to tackle them. That kind of books.”

  He smiled, “Ohh! Those! Just walk up to shelf number- 5, and you will find books like those there.”

  I turned back to look at the rows of shelves to make out where the shelf numbered 5 was. I started counting from the entry side first shelf— 1, 2, 3, 4 and 5. I walked to this shelf with a smile on my face and tried to search for those three books. It had more than a hundred or so books, so it was arduous for me to find the coveted ones. I checked it once, and they were not there. I checked again and then again and finally found 1 of them. A sense of tranquillity came over me and then I carefully looked at the book to find out that it was named- “All Hallows Eve”. It was the sequel to the book “Descent into Hell”, the one I wanted. This book still missed out on the central beginning part that I required, so I left it as it is. I felt doleful. Was my trip here all futile? Then a thought came that maybe they had kept them somewhere else.

  I quickly paced back to the librarian, instead of the assistant who I didn’t believe much in now and asked him the names of the three books I wanted and where they were kept.

  He replied, “Today morning itself, someone got those three issued for reading at their home, and he ensured to bring them before the end of next week. And, sorry to say, but we don’t have any more copies of them.”

  Hearkening to this, I wanted to kill this man, but he wasn’t at fault. My luck was terrible, as usual. Just what did I come to this city for if I couldn't get any of the books? I felt helpless.

  “Sir! Are there some other books on the same storyline as those three?”

  He took a long pause of around 2-3 minutes and then finally spoke, “Hmm… I think we have a book that you would like to read. It’s by the name of “Southern Ghosts and Ghost Stories”. Though it may not be like those three, but still you would love reading this one.”

  Listening to this, my eyes twinkled. There was still hope. I looked at the clock, and it was already 3 pm. The closing time of the library was 7 pm, so I only had 4 more hours to do some serious reading.

  I appealed to the assistant, “Sir! Can you please get me the book- “Southern Ghost and Ghost Stories”?”

  He gave me a side glance and then nodded. He walked to the same shelf number- 5, and after looking around for a few seconds, he got it for me.

  I smiled and said, “Thank You!”

  He just walked back without saying anything.

  ith the book in my hand, I grabbed a nearby chair and started to read it. I quickly turned to the last page, and it was numbered- 418. I was shocked at this figure. This many pages. But I knew that no matter the length, I had to read it. The dilemma was, for someone like me, 4hrs wasn’t enough to thoroughly read this one. With my reading speed, it would have taken me at least 3 days to do that. Still, I commenced reading it from page 1.

  One hour passed, it was 4 pm, and I was done with only 31 pages. At this point, the author still hadn’t said a single thing about ghosts. Just about ordinary people and their diurnal life.

  One more hour passed, it was 5 pm, and I had read only 20 pages more, but it felt as if things were finally starting to unravel, when the name of otherworldly beings came in the text. Now, I only have 2 more hours, and I hadn’t even read one-fifth of the book. I felt ashamed of myself for not being able to read. If Nandana were here, she would have read 2 books like this in just 4 hours and look at me, a shame of a person who couldn’t do anything. At this moment, I missed her, but what could I have done?

  While reading the book, a cold shiver ran past me, but I still kept up to it. In my mind, I ran the lines, again and again, I need to give my 100%, maybe more than that, but not less, not less than 100%. So, I kept on reading and time kept on flying by. Some time passed, and then, I was interrupted by someone.

  The assistant ordered, “Sir! You need to move out.”

  “Hey! There’s still time, please let me resume. I am not doing anything to anger you or make other people uncomfortable, am I?”

  At this point, he pointed towards the clock, and it was 6:55 pm.

  I was shocked, “What! 2 hours already passed?”

  I looked around, and no-one was there in the library except the staff and me. I knew I had to get out. With a sombre face, I looked at the page number, it was numbered-142. This was not a good number at all, but at least it was better than the first 2 hours, and I did get to know about a lot of different ghosts.

  The Skondhokata, a headless ghost who is always searching for his missing head and who pleads passer-by’s to help him find it. But what it does is, make a slave out of them.

  The Kanabhulo, a ghost who hypnotises a person and takes them to some unknown location after which they lose all sense.

  The Sheekol Buri, a ghost of a young unmarried lady who dwells in ponds and rivers. She lures young men and takes them into the depths of the waterways where she entangles their feet and submerge them.

  The Nishi, a night spirit which calls a person in the voice of a loved one. The one who responds back to it gets hypnotised and is never seen again.

  The Gudro Bonga, a small dwarf-like ghost who looks like a child and possibly works as keepers of a hidden treasure.

  The Rakkhosh, a demonic fierce-looking being with pointed fangs, who feeds on humans. It has superhuman strength and yells- Hau! Mau! Khau!

  The Brahmadaitya, a spirit of a murdered Brahmin priest who is believed to be powerful and malicious. But they are mostly harmless, even well-disposed towards humans.

  But still, none of them felt like correlating with what I was going through. This is bad. I needed those 3 books, the first one to be more precise. Maybe, I can come here next week too and get a chance to finally read them, but then I would have to think of another pretext, or perhaps I can extend my time here in the city in the morning, a bit more. It opens at 9 am, so I can still give an hour or two to it and reach home on time. But I need to meet with some of the distributors and retailers or else, father would kill me back at home.

  His tone turned pressing. “Sir, you need to leave now. We can’t wait for you anymore. It’s already past our timings.”

  I nodded, “Yes! Yes! I am going.”

  I stood from the chair, picked up the book and walked towards the shelf. I placed it in the 4th row in one corner, so that it wouldn’t be hard for me to find it on the subsequent morning. I was excited, hoping for tomorrow to bare it all about the ghost, whatever it is and maybe that, this book would be sufficient, so that I didn’t even need to come next week. The librarian was still looking at me with an exasperated expression. I walked out of the library with a pleasant face. I walked back to the market and then to the place where I had parked my car. Once there, I drove back to Vinod's place and reached outside his home at around 8 in the night.

  Oh, No! I got late. They must have been waiting for me to eat dinner. This was not a good gesture of mine. What would they
be thinking of me?

  I entered through the main gate, knocked on the drawing room’s door and stepped inside as the gate was already open. The drawing-room was the first room through which one could enter his house.

  I had thought that everyone would be sitting at the dining table, looking at the door and probably even cursing me, but once inside, it was something different. The dining table was empty. It felt to me like they already had dinner, but they wouldn’t. I knew how he was. He wouldn’t have had it and would have undoubtedly waited for me. I looked to my right, and he was sitting on the sofa, I looked at him, and he looked back at me.

  “So, you back? How was your day?”

  “It was okay. I still couldn’t get the books. They had none of them in stock.”

  “Oh, that’s bad. Don’t worry. If I find them, I will send them to you again. But you came at the right time. Dinner is about to be served soon.”

  Yes! Yes! I knew it, they just wouldn’t.

  I smiled a little. Maybe, people in the city have different times than the ones of us from the village.

  He inquired, “Why are you laughing?”

  “Oh, nothing!”

  Why is my face such that it tells everything? I took a 3-second pause.

  “I had just remembered the look on the librarian’s face when I was still sitting beyond their closing hours. It looked to me that any minute more and he would have shot me, that kind of look. And I still walked out of there as nonchalantly as possible, so he just kept gawking at me.”

  He chuckled, “Oh! You are a devil.”

  I laughed, “Yes, I am.”

  His wife served the food on the dinner table.

  “Okay! Let’s proceed to the dining table.”

  We started eating. The food was delicious, but still not as good as Nandana’s. I remembered that I had never appreciated her for it or anything else. It was tough for me to say good or bad about something, that this is awesome, or it’s just good. Like if the food were ok to me, I wouldn’t say anything. If it were awesome, I still wouldn’t say anything. But, if someone or she asked me, I would say that it’s okay. So, saying "okay" for someone like me, was just like saying that it was awesome. This was not a good habit of mine because other people have different definitions of things. But, it’s like I avoided people appreciating me and I, appreciating them. But Nandana understood this. Not at first, as she would always look at me, waiting for me to say something, but I didn’t. Or if I said something, it was just okay. But after a year or two of staying with me, she finally understood what I was like. And whenever I said ‘Okay’ to something, she would smile hard.