by Erica Lee
“You know, if this whole movie business thing doesn’t work out for you, maybe you should consider law school,” I joked.
“So is that a yes?” Jenny asked excitedly.
Of course it was a yes. My answer would always be yes with Jenny. I didn’t actually need convincing.
Once we were laying down, I wrapped my arms around her and I had to admit that it was indeed the sweetest torture. Nothing in this world could possibly feel better than Jenny’s body up against mine. Ok, I take that back. Her lips on my lips was a pretty perfect feeling, but I willed myself not to think about that. I couldn’t think about that. Not when we were this close. Not when I could easily get her to turn around and slowly bring our lips together, causing that explosion of feelings I hadn’t been able to stop thinking about.
“Rory?” Jenny’s voice interrupted my thoughts and I hoped she hadn’t realized that my heart was now beating at a thousand miles per hour.
“Yeah?” I whispered, not able to get my voice to a normal volume.
“I was thinking…” My brain started moving even faster than my heartbeat. What was she thinking? Was she ready for this to be more than what it already was? Was I? “My boss has been on me about presenting a screenplay or documentary idea to him. I had an idea, but I don’t know if I should do it. I wanted to make a documentary with lgbt individuals who are all different ages and from different demographic regions who came out in high school. I want to show the difference time periods and locations can make, but I also want to show anyone who might be struggling that it really does get better.”
Even though that had taken a completely different direction than I expected, it was still exciting. I propped myself up on my elbow so I could look at Jenny. “Jenny I think that’s an awesome idea. You have to do it and they would be stupid to not back you. When did you think of that?”
“I’ve actually been thinking about it for a long time,” Jenny admitted. “It was kind of the reason I decide to go into film. I wanted to be able to make something like this that could make a difference to others like me. I didn’t think I would ever be able to go through with it though. I wasn’t brave enough until... until I met you.”
I bent down and placed a kiss on Jenny’s forehead, unsure what to say. Luckily, she spoke again before I had to.
“I always worried if I went through with a documentary like this that it would bring up too many old feelings that I wouldn’t be able to deal with. But now that I have you, I know that I can.”
“You can and you will,” I said softly as I took her hand and squeezed it.
My answer must have satisfied her because she relaxed back into me and shut her eyes. As my own eyes started to close, I wondered what the future with Jenny as my friend would be like if these feelings kept growing.
I was awoken early the next day to the sound of my phone ringing. I looked at the clock to find that it was just after 8 and wondered why someone would call me so early on a Saturday. Then I remembered that I was in California and for most of the people calling me it was already 11.
I picked up my phone and saw that it was my friend, Rebecca Thomas, calling. I thought it was strange that she would be calling since, aside from a few random texts here and there, I hadn’t talked to her since she called to tell me she had gotten engaged. That was almost a year ago at this point.
“Hello?” I answered, trying not to give away the fact that the phone call had woken me up. Rebecca was one of the sweetest people ever so I knew she would feel bad about waking me.
“Hey Rory,” she said cheerfully. “How are you? What’s new?”
“I’m good,” I reported. “Nothing new here. Just living the dream.”
I meant for it to be a joke, but as I looked over at Jenny still sleeping beside me, it really did feel like a dream.
“Good! I’m glad! Still living outside of Philly?”
“You bet. Are you still suffering through that small town life?”
Rebecca laughed at this. One thing we had bonded over early in our friendship was how much we both wanted to move on from our respective hometowns. That dream had changed drastically for Rebecca once she started dating her now fiancé, Cassie.
“On the contrast, I’d say that I’m actually living the dream too,” she joked, but I knew it was sincere for her as well.
“So tell me. How is the wedding planning going?” I asked, excited to hear about what decisions they had made.
“It’s going really well. We decided on a venue in Philadelphia. You know I can’t completely let go of that city. The wedding is going to be in October. That’s actually why I was calling. Could you text me your address? I know I could have just texted to ask, but it’s been so long since we talked, I wanted to catch up. I was also wondering if you’re seeing anyone. I wanted to make sure I gave you a plus one if you were.”
I looked at Jenny again, who was starting to stir beside me and looked ridiculously cute with her hair and limbs all over the place.
“No… I’m not… dating anyone.” It didn’t feel right to say that I wasn’t seeing anyone since the girl that I could see laying next to me didn’t deserve to be completely denied.
Rebecca must have noticed my hesitation because she asked, “Is there someone special you would want to bring? It’s ok if you’re not actually dating.”
“I definitely have someone… a… friend... I could bring. But don’t feel like you have to give me a plus one. I know how expensive weddings are.”
“Say no more. You’re definitely getting a plus one. I’m intrigued now,” Rebecca joked.
We talked about random subjects for the next ten minutes or so, then Rebecca told me she had to get going.
“By the way Rory. Here’s some unsolicited advice from your older, wiser friend. Friends make the best lovers.” She laughed and hung up before I could respond.
When I brought the phone away from my ear, Jenny blinked up at me, clearly having trouble opening her eyes.
“Who was that?” She asked, following her question with a big yawn that wouldn’t have looked nearly as adorable on anyone else.
“That was our excuse to see each other again. How would you feel about going to a wedding in Philadelphia in October?”
Jenny’s eyes widened. “I think I better start working some overtime so I can get off a few days and really party it up. A wedding in Philadelphia sounds like fun.”
“Plus, it’s a lesbian wedding,” I exclaimed. “That makes it even more exciting.”
Jenny looked at me skeptically. “How did you say you know this person?”
“I didn’t say,” I teased. “She is a friend from college. She graduated two years ahead of me. And since I can tell you’re wondering, no, we never dated. She was like a big sister to me; kind of took me under her wing in our college’s lgbt club.”
I saw Jenny’s face relax a bit with this information. “Is it the typical lesbian love story? They met a month ago and now they are madly in love and getting married?”
“It’s about the complete opposite of that,” I chuckled. “They’ve been dating over five years I believe. But the best part is that they’ve known each other since they were kids. They were best friends growing up, lost touch, then came back together in their twenties and fell in love.”
“Wow that’s amazing,” Jenny commented dreamily. “Sometimes I wish my past was different so I could believe that I could have a big love story like that.”
“Yeah…” I lamented. So do I…
Chapter 18
The months leading up to Rebecca’s wedding flew by. I went to California multiple times with the excuse that I was going to help with wedding plans since Todd and Ryan had picked a date in April. The truth was that I just wanted any excuse to see Jenny. Since I was Todd’s “Best Woman” and Jenny was Ryan’s, we decided to choreograph our reception entrance and worked on that more than we actually helped Todd and Ryan with wedding plans.
When the weekend of Rebecca’s wedding came, I w
as excited for multiple reasons. Jenny was finally going to see my condo, I got to spend my weekend doing my favorite thing, and Jenny had told me a few weeks prior that she had big news for me, but wouldn’t tell me until she saw me in person.
I picked Jenny up at the airport the morning of the wedding and took her back to my place to get ready. Since my condo had a guest bedroom and bathroom, we were able to get ready at the same time. I finished getting ready first and sat to watch tv while I waited for her. When she finally walked out of the guest room, I could feel my jaw drop. She was wearing a long red ball gown that was loose enough to be classy, but also left no secrets about her perfect curves. Before meeting Jenny, I didn’t know it was possible to constantly be blown away by someone, but this girl had the power to make me feel like I was seeing her for the first time every time.
I stood up and didn’t try to hide my roaming eyes as they swept her body one more time.
“Jenny...Wow.” My mouth felt dry and my head was spinning, so it was impossible to get any words out.
She took my hand and spun me around, taking in my floor length baby blue dress and licking her lips as she looked into my eyes. “Right back at you gorgeous.”
I took her hand in mine, only letting go once we made it to my car. To my surprise, once I started driving, Jenny grabbed my free hand and wrapped her fingers back around mine. I wanted to ask her what we were doing, but I also didn’t want to ruin the moment. I relished the feel of her touch, which made our half hour drive into the city seem much shorter.
We walked into the ballroom where the ceremony and reception were going to be and I lost my breath for the second time of the night. It was gorgeous. I couldn’t imagine how much money Rebecca’s family must have spent to get a place like this. The best part was the gorgeous chandelier in the middle of the room. Although the first thing to cross my mind was how the shimmer coming from the chandelier was nothing compared to Jenny’s eyes.
We found our seats just in time for the ceremony to start. It was by far the most beautiful ceremony I had ever witnessed. I wasn’t sure of the full story, but I knew that Rebecca and Cassie had full custody of Cassie’s sister who seemed to be around 13. The ceremony was centered around the three of them officially becoming a family and the love radiating from all three of them was intoxicating. Caught up in the moment, I placed my hand on Jenny’s knee. Before I could overthink it and move my hand away, Jenny’s hand was on top of mine. We kept our hands like this, lost in the beauty of the moment. At some point, I twisted my hand around and intertwined my fingers with hers, only letting go when they brought our food out.
As soon as the DJ started playing, we headed out onto the dance floor. We laughed together as we tried to one up each other’s ridiculous dance moves. For whatever reason, we were much more touchy this night. The touches were completely innocent, but they were constant. We were acting just like a couple - a very obsessed couple stuck in their honeymoon phase. The kind of couple that I would have made fun of in the past. But in this moment, I didn’t care. It felt good to act this way with Jenny and that’s all that mattered. I could worry about what it all meant later. For now, I was just going to enjoy myself.
When the music switched to a slow song, I pulled Jenny as close to me as possible. She laid her head gently on my shoulder as we swayed along to the music. My mind wandered to what it would be like if this were actually my life; if I could hold Jenny close whenever I wanted. I wanted her close all the time. I didn’t want to think about her being back across the country so I chased those thoughts from my mind. When the song ended, we both continued to hold on to each other until the moment was broken up by a very drunk guy bumping into us.
We danced for a few more songs, then went to the DJ booth to request a High School Musical song. Along with choreographing the entrance for the boys’ wedding, we had also spent the past few months learning the dances to most of the songs from all three High School Musical movies. Once the song came on, we broke into the dance and quickly drew quite the crowd. We both grabbed random people and began teaching them the dance and by the end of the song most of the wedding guests were doing some rendition of the dance. Granted, it looked terrible, but everyone seemed to be having a good time at least. Once the song was over, Jenny leaned in close to whisper in my ear.
“I’m going to take a potty break,” she declared, before taking off.
I looked around the room and found Rebecca just a few feet away from me. When I was by her side, I pulled her into an embrace and told her how beautiful the wedding was.
“Thank you,” she said, looking around to take everything in. “It really is so much better than I could have dreamed of. So, where is your girl?”
“Potty break,” I informed her, not bothering to correct the fact that she called Jenny my girl. “Not going to lie, I don’t think I’ve ever seen anyone as in love as you and Cassie. It’s really beautiful.”
Rebecca looked toward Cassie dreamily. “Yeah, Cass is my everything. I love her and Katie more than anything in this world. Love is funny that way.” I nodded but looked past her toward Jenny who had just walked back into the ballroom. I followed her with my eyes as Rebecca continued to speak, taking in the words as if they were about Jenny. “If you would have told me ten years ago that I was going to get back in touch with Cassie and the two of us would fall madly in love, I would have said you were crazy. She was a distant memory for so long and suddenly she was everything. You live your life without someone for so long and then after being in your life for a short time, you can’t even remember what life was like before them. Everything becomes about them and how they make you feel. The past is suddenly so unimportant because life without this person isn’t living at all.”
Rebecca’s eyes followed mine to Jenny who was now standing right beside us. “But I’d say it looks like you know exactly how I feel.” She reached out her hand to shake Jenny’s. “It’s so nice to meet you finally. Sorry it’s been so crazy here tonight.”
Jenny told her it was fine and the two of them spent the next ten minutes getting to know each other better. Rebecca then apologetically told us that she should go talk to some other guests. I took this as an opportunity to ask Jenny if she was ready to head back to my place. I didn’t want to risk being sleepy on the drive back. Jenny held her hand out to me and we walked to my car hand in hand, again continuing to hold hands for the whole drive home.
Once we had changed into comfier clothes, Jenny asked if I was ready to hear her big news, lifting her eyebrows as a tease.
“Of course I want to hear,” I said impatiently.
She took a deep breath. “You know how I submitted my documentary idea a little while back? They accepted it. Rory, I’m going to make a documentary. It’s really happening.”
Once her words registered, I couldn’t contain my excitement. I picked her up and twirled her around, putting her feet back on the ground only to pull her into a tight hug. We both held on longer than necessary and somewhere in the middle of the hug, our demeanor changed. It was no longer a congratulatory hug. It was a hug of desperation, with both of us sinking further into each other.
When we finally pulled back, we continued holding onto each other’s arms. Jenny stared into my eyes and I felt like she was looking right through to my soul. I used my hand to move a stray piece of hair behind her ear and when I did, I heard Jenny gasp. I kept my hand behind her ear and continued to stare at her, completely lost in the moment.
I looked down toward her mouth, contemplating whether I should just lean in and kiss her. Every single ounce of my body was begging me to. Jenny looked from my eyes to my lips then back up again.
She opened and closed her mouth a few times like she was trying to say something but didn’t know how to get the words out.
“Jenny…” I whispered trying to form a coherent thought, but at that moment Jenny said the words she had been trying to say.
“I haven’t stopped thinking about that kiss since the night it h
appened”
Before I had time to think, our lips were crashing together. The kiss was everything I had dreamed about for the past year, but at the same time, it was so much better.
This time, instead of just letting our mouths do the work, our hands started moving over each other’s bodies as well. I moved my hands up and down Jenny’s sides, while she reached out and gripped onto my backside through my sweatpants.
I kissed my way down her neck and across her collarbone, while she threw her head back in pleasure. When she brought her face back up toward mine she nibbled on my ear, causing me to let out a low growl.
“Rory,” she begged. “I need you.”
I didn’t need to hear anything more. I picked her up and carried her into my room, gently laying her on the bed and crawling on top of her. We slowly removed layer by layer of each other’s clothes, taking the time to soak up every moment. Once we were completely naked, I stopped what I was doing to sweep my eyes over Jenny’s body and completely take her in.
That’s when it hit me. I loved this girl. I was in love with Jennifer Anneliese Hanson and I wanted to show it in the most intimate way possible.
Chapter 19
I opened my eyes the next day to find Jenny asleep on my chest. From the lack of clothes, I was able to deduce that the night before hadn’t been a dream. I had fantasized about a night like this with Jenny multiple times, but I always worried that I would regret it if it actually happened. But laying here with her, running my hands through her hair while I watched her sleep, I didn’t regret anything. I wanted more. I found myself excited for her to wake up so I could finally tell her how I felt.