Broken and Beautiful

by Ryan, Kendall

  “No.” I shake my head before taking a quick sip of wine. “There’s always someone that turns us into assholes. I know, because my mom turned my dad into an asshole when she left him for his best friend. He was never the same after that. He treated everyone around him like shit, including his only child. I haven’t spoken to him in five years, because I can’t stand to even look at him anymore.”

  “That’s unfortunate for your dad,” he mumbles, not bothering to look up at me. “But no one has that kind of power over me and never will. Now, can we drink in silence and get the fuck out of here?”

  “I thought you’d never ask,” I grit out. “Once we’re through with these drinks we’re out of here.”

  It was a lie, because one hour and three glasses of wine later, I’m still sitting beside Jensen, except now the effects of the wine has kicked in. I’m feeling good and carefree.

  And when I see Susan’s sister eyeing us over for the hundredth time, taking notes as if she’s sure we’re not really together, something inside of me changes and I move my purse out of the way to get to Jensen.

  Like I’ve thought before, he’s extremely sexy when he doesn’t talk, and he hasn’t said a word for the last twenty minutes or so. He seems just as lost in thought as I’ve been.

  Jensen grips my thigh and squeezes it when I straddle his lap and run my lips up his neck.

  “Okay. You’ve gotta be drunk to be this close to me without a knife in hand.”

  “I am.” I admit. “And Bartender is watching us, so shhh…” I place my finger to his lips, letting the wine take over. “Just go with it.”

  A small growl sounds from his chest when I bite his earlobe and give it a slight tug. Between the wine and us being watched, I’m feeling brazen. I’d never do this totally sober and away from prying eyes.

  And apparently, due to the lack of groping hands, he knows this too.

  “Cami,” he warns, when I move my hand along his strong thigh, inching toward the visible erection in his jeans. “It’s time to get you home. You’re drunk.”

  He slams the rest of his beer back and does something on his phone as I continue to brush my lips over his neck.

  “Fuck me!” he yells when my hand grips his dick and squeezes. “Austin needs to hurry the fuck up.”

  “Why?”

  “Because I’m not going to fuck you when you’re drunk, and if you keep touching me like that it’s going to get harder not to bend you over right here in front of everyone.”

  His words have a sobering effect, and I crawl out of his lap before hurrying to the bathroom, feeling foolish.

  Once inside, I lean over the sink and splash cold water on my face to wake myself up. “What are you doing, Cami? Holy shit!”

  I can’t believe I’m letting Susan get to me like this. I’m making a fool of myself. I’m going to tell her the truth tomorrow at work. This isn’t me. Not even close. I’ll never be this girl.

  A few moments later there’s a knock on the door, before Jensen pushes the door open and steps inside, not caring that he’s in the women’s restroom. That sobers me up even more. He’s proven to be a buzz kill more than once, and the number keeps going up.

  He waits until I turn off the water and dry my face off before speaking. “Time to go before you jump me right here in public.”

  “Don’t push me,” I hiss, embarrassed by my behavior. “Just leave. I’ll find my own way home. I’d rather not be around you right now.”

  “I’m not going anywhere without you, Cami.” He tosses my purse to me. “Austin is here to give us a ride. Pull your shit together and meet me outside.”

  With that, he walks away, leaving me standing here hating his guts even more.

  When I leave the restroom moments later, Susan’s sister is watching me with a grin. I have no idea what she thinks happened in there or what she might tell people happened in there, but the idea of people thinking we had sex in a public restroom has me wanting to disappear and be alone.

  “Let’s go,” I spit out, walking past Jensen to the car waiting on us. “Don’t say anything. I’m hungry and tired. I just need to eat and go to bed.”

  “You don’t have to tell me how hungry you are, Cami,” he says with a satisfied smile. “You already showed me and everyone else inside the bar. Now get in.”

  Unfortunately for me, I doubt Jensen will let me forget this night, and I doubt I could even if I tried.

  Once we pull up in front of the rental, I thank Austin and rush out of the car, ignoring Jensen as he lights a cigarette and watches me walk away. I can feel his eyes on me, and I refuse to look back at his smug face.

  Veronica and Peter are in bed watching TV when I let myself inside, so I quietly make myself a plate of her casserole and climb into bed to find something to watch while stuffing my face.

  “Hey, sweets. I was expecting you a while ago,” Veronica says from the doorway. “Are you okay?”

  I nod and fork my plate of food. “Other than making a complete fool of myself, I’m as okay as I can be. I think I just need to sleep this day off. Is it cool if we don’t talk about it?”

  “Of course, babe. Let me know if you need me. We’re watching Sons Of Anarchy for like the fifth time, so it’s cool if I take a break.”

  “Thanks.” I shove a bite of food into my mouth, before speaking. “And this is delicious, by the way. So good. Thank you for dinner. I’ll make us tacos tomorrow.”

  “What about Jensen?” she says with a small smile. “He’s going to expect you tomorrow since you blew him off today.”

  “I don’t know if I’m even still getting the place. It’s too complicated with Jensen right now and my stupid lie. I need to figure things out when I’m sober.”

  She nods. “You’ll figure it out. Talk to me tomorrow.”

  “Sounds good. Night.”

  “Night.”

  Moments after she leaves my phone vibrates with a text from Douglas.

  Douglas: Please tell me you didn’t have sex with that Jensen guy in a public restroom.

  My stomach twists into knots. What I expected to happen has already started. Looks like Susan’s sister really was taking notes. She’s worse than the damn paparazzi.

  Less than a minute later two more messages come.

  Douglas: Are you two really dating? Answer me, Cami. I deserve answers.

  Douglas: I’m waiting…

  “Seriously!” Him pushing for answers and assuming he deserves anything from me has me answering with another lie just to piss him off.

  Cami: YES. So fuck off.

  I toss my phone down in frustration and set my plate on the nightstand, forgoing the eating part and going straight into the sleeping part.

  This day just needs to end already.

  * * *

  Despite it being three a.m. I can’t force myself back to sleep, and as much as it hurts to admit, I miss sleeping next to Douglas.

  I’m not saying I want him back. My heart can’t help but to feel the void of him being gone after being at my side for so long. It’s a horrible feeling, and I know it’s going to take a while for it to go away completely.

  I’ve been hurt before in the past, but not like this. It’s never hurt this deeply. Betrayal sucks. “Ugh. Don’t do this, Cami.”

  I sit up and grip my hair as my eyes sting from the tears. I do my best to hold it back, but a small sob escapes, and I have to cover my mouth to hide the noise. Crying over Douglas is the last thing I want to do. It makes me feel weak and pathetic after what he did to me.

  Why should I cry over someone like him?

  Why should I miss us?

  Reaching beside me, I grip my phone in my hand. I don’t know if this is going to make me feel better or worse, but I do it anyway.

  I wipe my eyes off, so I can see the picture in front of me. It doesn’t take long to realize that seeing them together—with the way I’m feeling at the moment—is only making the ache in my chest grow. It’s making my insides want to burst with sad
ness.

  “I hate you!” I toss my phone across the room, unable to look at it for another second. It hits the wall hard and I immediately regret it, hoping that the noise didn’t wake Veronica and Peter.

  Once a few minutes passes without one of them knocking on the bedroom door. I think it’s safe to say I didn’t wake them.

  Taking a deep breath, I slowly exhale and crawl back under the blankets, grabbing the extra pillow and shoving it beside me, so I don’t feel alone.

  It works. Within minutes, my eyes grow heavy and I drift off to sleep.

  Jensen

  After loading my truck up with the right color gutters—the ones my crew should’ve already had—I head to the jobsite to drop them off and check on the guys.

  Austin greets me at the truck, looking just as annoyed as I feel, and that’s at the highest level. “Sorry, Man. Patrick fucked-up the color and now we’re an hour late getting to the final job. I asked Jason to pick up the correct gutters to save us some time, but he said he couldn’t.”

  Red becomes my filter over one of my guys refusing to do his job, and I have to fight not to punch my truck. “Why the fuck not?”

  Austin shrugs and begins unloading the truck in a hurry. “He didn’t say. Sounded like he was in a rush to get off the phone. Isn’t he working the warehouse now?”

  “Yup. That fucker’s job is to organize shit and make runs when needed.” I’m so pissed that I can barely get the words out. I told his giant ass last week if he couldn’t do his job I’d give it to someone that could. “Is Oliver still looking for a job?”

  He nods and closes the tailgate. “Hell yeah.”

  I pull out my phone to check the time. “Text me his number. But get this job done first. It’s almost dark. I’ll call the next job and let them know we’re going to push it to tomorrow.”

  “Gotcha, Boss.”

  After making sure the guys are good to go at their current job, I haul ass back to the warehouse in search of Jason. He better pray he’s not there, because I’m heated, and the last thing he wants is to feel my fucking wrath after the phone call I just hung up from. No one fucks with my business. I made this clear before I hired him.

  When I pull up at the warehouse, I jump out of my truck without bothering to shut it off. That’s how fucking anxious I am to get to Jason and tear him a new asshole.

  His little white car is in the driveway, so he’s still here, and there’s no good reason for him not getting those gutters to the jobsite when asked to. I was too far out of the way to come here before the job—it would’ve wasted more daylight my guys didn’t have to waste—so I had to place an order close by and pay extra for shit we already had sitting around here.

  Flicking my cigarette across the driveway, I hurry around the side of the building and step inside to find Jason sleeping in a fucking lawn chair with his cap pulled over his eyes.

  “Get the fuck up!” I seethe, yanking his hat from his head and throwing it at the wall. “I don’t pay your ass to take naps and be lazy. You’re screwing with my business. Stand up. Now.”

  Jason’s eyes go wide as he jumps to his feet to stand in front of me. He’s towering over me, and that’s not even enough to stop me from wanting to kick the shit out of him.

  “Shit,” he grunts, tiredly. “I didn’t sleep last night. It was a rough night. I stayed awake as long as I could, but—”

  “But nothing.” I flex my jaw and step up until we’re face to face. “I just lost business because of your bullshit. My clients want to know they can trust us to do our job on time. I had to call Patrick and Austin’s next appointment to let them know they can’t make it until tomorrow evening and they made it clear they won’t be using us again in the future. Some clients aren’t so fucking understanding, Jason. Got that?”

  “I was too tired. It won’t happen again. My mistake—”

  “Get the fuck out of my sight.”

  Without a word, he nods, and walks to pick up his hat.

  “And don’t bother showing up tomorrow.” I add. “You’re fucking fired.”

  “That’s bullshit. Are you serious?”

  “Dead fucking serious. Go.”

  “Whatever. I’m outta here.” He tosses his Blake Construction hat down and mutters some shit under his breath that he’s too chickenshit to say to my face. He pauses at the door as if he’s going to say something aloud, but decides against it; probably realizing nothing he has to say is going to do shit to change my mind.

  I stay at the warehouse over the next hour waiting for all of my crews to get back and take down their hours.

  Usually, I trust my shop guy to handle this before locking up, but since he moved away early this week, I made the mistake of thinking Jason could replace him.

  By the time I arrive at Cami’s rental to work, it’s already well past seven, so I don’t expect her to show up, but she steps inside shortly after I arrive with a container of food and stuff to make tacos.

  “I heard you pull up and I was about to eat a late dinner. Figured you might be hungry.” She doesn’t wait for me to respond before setting the container down and pulling out two paper plates. “I made tacos for Veronica and Peter today, and I always make too much meat.”

  I didn’t realize how hungry I was until she pulls the lid off and the scent practically slaps me in the face. “Depends.” I watch her from over the island as she scoops meat onto two taco shells.

  “On what?” she questions, scooting a plate toward me and pointing at the variety of toppings she bagged up. “Are you worried I spit in your portion?” She smiles teasingly. “I’m not saying I didn’t, by the way.”

  “No. Why would I be worried about your spit when I’ve had your pussy in my mouth, Cami?” She chokes on the bite she just took. “I was gonna say only if it tastes as good as it smells. You do, by the way.”

  Her face turns red with embarrassment and she slams her taco down. “Can we forget that happened? It seems since meeting you I’ve been making multiple mistakes, that being the biggest one.”

  I shrug. “Sure. I can forget.” I look up to meet her angry eyes when they focus on my lips as I bite into the taco. “But can you?”

  “What makes you think I haven’t already?”

  “Your eyes,” I point out. “If you don’t want me to believe you’re imagining my mouth on you again then you might want to stop looking at my lips like you want to suck them and taste yourself on them.”

  “Wow.” She stands up and wipes her hands off. “You really are full of yourself, aren’t you?”

  “Just as much as you wish you were,” I say to piss her off. My attitude is shit right now and she just happens to be around at the wrong fucking time.

  “You know what… forget it. I can’t do this. I’ve had a shitty day and I can’t handle anymore bullshit right now.” She brushes past me and heads for the door. “I’m over it.”

  “Why?” I surprise myself with my own damn question.

  She pauses, but doesn’t turn around. I don’t blame her. I’d be ready to get away from me too if I were her, but maybe I’m not ready for her to leave yet.

  “What happened at work today?”

  “It doesn’t matter,” she says softly. “I’d rather forget it ever happened just like everything that has happened since I caught Douglas cheating.”

  “Did he say something?” The idea of him hurting her again adds to my already shit mood. I wouldn’t mind taking a little drive to fuck someone up tonight.

  “It’s not what he said. It’s what he did.” She turns around, pain evident on her face. “He left after school with Susan today. He lied to my face when he told me things were over with her. I may not want him back, but it hurts to know he’s still sleeping with her. I hate that he’s having fun while I’m hurting. Why should I suffer while he enjoys himself? I’m not the one that did something wrong.”

  “Sounds like I’m not the only asshole you know.” I stand and walk across the room, stopping right in front of her. W
hen I lean in, our mouths almost touching, she sucks in a breath. “He’s not the only one that could be having fun right now, Cami,” I say across her lips. “One night with me and you’ll forget the asshole ever existed. I can erase him. Just say the word.”

  I trail my hands down her sides, stopping to grip her hips, and pull her against me. The sexy sound that escapes her lips instantly makes my dick harden against her.

  “Jensen…” Her words trail off when I lean in and scrape my teeth across the front of her throat. “This is a bad idea. A very bad idea.”

  I growl against her throat, before running my hand up it to squeeze ever so slightly, as I speak into her ear. “Sometimes bad ideas turn out to be the best ones. I can show you.”

  Coming to her senses, she shakes her head and pushes away, her breath fast against my throat. “No. I don’t need any more complications, Jensen. I have enough to deal with.”

  “There doesn’t have to be any complications when it comes to us. Just sex,” I point out. “Let me make you come around my dick, Cami. Let me make you forget him.”

  “This is crazy. No. I… I just need to go. I never should’ve brought you dinner. So much for doing something nice for you. I was trying to make up for what I did last night. Stupid idea.”

  “I don’t have to touch you,” I say, stopping her before she can leave. When she turns around, I’m already stripping my shirt off and tossing it across the room. Her needy eyes watch as I go for my jeans to unbutton them.

  “What are you doing?” she asks, eyes wide. “Keep your pants on, Jensen.”

  “Who said I’m taking them off?”

  She swallows and backs away as I come closer to her. “It sure as hell looks like it.”

  I open my jeans and lower them, watching with satisfaction as her eyes roam over my muscular body, stopping on the outline of my hard dick through my boxer briefs. “Shut up and watch. Stop thinking. You liked it from a distance. You’ll love it up close.”

  Her throat bobs up and down as she swallows, the moment my hand trails down the front of my briefs to touch myself. Pulling my bottom lip into my mouth with a growl, I grip my dick and begin stroking it through my briefs.