Heart of Hope: Books 1-4

by Williams, Ajme

  Thankfully, he accepted my excuse. Hopefully they’d find something by the court hearing the week following Maisie’s visit with her mom.

  I washed my face, although I was certain my mother would still be able to tell I was upset. I’d just have to come up with some excuse like Maisie cried when I left her. I was lying again, and because I was, I realized that Dylan had no reason to see me as an honest person. I’d been willing to lie about my marriage to my friends and family. It wasn’t that far of a leap to think I’d lie about a baby.

  When I got downstairs, my father frowned and looked at my mother when he saw me, a good sign that I looked like hell.

  “Sit down and eat honey, then tell us what’s wrong,” my mother said, putting a platter of spaghetti on the table.

  I sat and scooped food onto my plate. I wasn’t hungry, but I needed to eat because my baby needed it.

  “Did Dylan hurt you?” my dad’s gruff voice asked. My dad looked like the typical bulldog-faced, barrel-chested cop, but he was a cream puff on the inside.

  I pushed my food around my plate, trying to figure out what to say.

  “Did he hurt you?” my mother put her hand over mine.

  Yes. “There’s been a lot of tension with the custody case.”

  “What’d he do?” my father’s eyes narrowed into piercing hard dots.

  “He didn’t hurt me … he’s not abusive,” I clarified. “He’s scared of losing his daughter.”

  “I worried you were too young—”

  “And married too fast,” my father added to my mother’s statement.

  “My age doesn’t matter. What matters is that he’s a man terrified he’s going to lose his daughter. Surely you can understand that.”

  My mother handed a basket of garlic bread to me. “Of course. I can’t imagine what he’s going through.”

  “That doesn’t give him the right to—”

  “He doesn’t hurt me.” I’m done. His words came back to me. If I wasn’t able to get through to him, I could be the one in court against him. As it was, he had a court date coming up, and I didn’t know if I should be there. “I’d rather just eat now, if that’s okay.”

  “If you need me to put some sense into him, I will,” my father said.

  “He doesn’t need sense,” I said. He needed to believe in love and open himself to it.

  Fortunately, my parents respected my wishes. Instead of me divulging all the mistakes I’d made or that they were going to be grandparents, I listened as they told me the latest gossip in the neighborhood.

  “Mr. Spinelli is thinking of selling the bagel shop,” my mother said.

  “He must be nearly a hundred,” I said, remembering getting a bagel every Saturday morning with my parents.

  “Ninety-six,” my mother said.

  “It will be a sad day when there are no more Spinelli bagels.” My father shook his head. “We should all go tomorrow.”

  I smiled, and my mother brightened. “Yes. Let’s. It will be like old times.”

  I loved my parents and being home, and yet it made me sad too. Sad that I wouldn’t have what they did. I was all for women’s rights, equal pay, and feminism, but I’d have been completely content to be Dylan’s wife and a mother, as well as a teacher, just like my mother.

  I’d been fighting with myself for weeks now. My heart wanted what my head knew I could never have, and yet my heart still yearned. It was time to toughen up, and let go of the dream of a family, at least with Dylan.

  I didn’t know what was going to happen with our fake marriage. Maybe tomorrow, I’d have the guts to call Dylan to ask him if “I’m done” meant I shouldn’t come at all. But for now, I was going to let all that go and feel the warmth and love that my parents surrounded me with.

  24

  Dylan

  That evening, feeling completely untethered, I called Veronica and asked if I could speak to Maisie. Normally I waited for them to call, but I needed to hear her voice. To listen to someone truly pure and that loved me unconditionally.

  “Hi Daddy,” her little voice came over the phone. She was such a wonderful child. I wondered how she’d feel about a little brother or sister.

  “Hi lazy Maisie. You having fun?”

  “Yep. Mommy took me out for pizza.”

  “Where’s Leo?”

  “He had to work. Mommy took me to a candy store too. Did you know there’s like a million candies?”

  I closed my eyes, hoping Veronica was putting something healthy into her. “That’s a lot of candies. Did you eat them all?”

  “No, Daddy.” Maisie laughed, the sound of it lifting my spirits a little.

  She and I chatted a bit, and then I was back to the cold empty house and the mess of my life. What the hell was I going to do about Tessa? How was it possible that I’d been completely duped again? And now she was pregnant. Jesus, I was going to bring another child in the world that wouldn’t have a stable home life. How was it that I was perpetually creating what I was trying to avoid—a dysfunctional family? Perhaps it was time to consider a vasectomy. And possibly monkhood.

  Instead of working on the house over the weekend, I visited each of the gyms and found work to do there to avoid home and my messed-up life. At home, I was miserable without Maisie and yes, even Tessa, but then I’d remind myself of her deception. I wondered if she was planning to come home Sunday and what I’d do if she did.

  I meant it when I said I was done, and yet I couldn’t be done. There was a baby to think about. I could move Tessa’s former housemates, Allison and Corrine, into another of my real estate properties and then let Tessa have the house next door. I don’t know how I’d be able to see her and not feel the pain of her betrayal, and yet, it was ideal for the baby to have us both nearby. And Maisie too, who I wanted to know her little brother or sister.

  On Sunday afternoon, I received a text from Tessa saying she planned to stay longer with her parents. It was a relief and yet, unsettling too. I didn’t want to deal with our situation, and yet putting it off only made it hang over me.

  I messaged back, “Fine.” It would give me time to think more on how to deal with things.

  On Monday, I called my lawyer to let him know what was going on.

  “It’s not a good time to file divorce papers,” he said. “Not during a custody case.”

  “I don’t know if we can pull off happy family.” I sat on the couch with my head back, like the weight of everything made it too heavy for my shoulders.

  “You did fine before.”

  “We were a happy family before.” Okay, so maybe not a legitimate happy family, but for a time we seemed to have what I hadn’t with my own family.

  “The point is, the judge won’t like it. She won’t care that Leo is banging the nanny, probably, but she’ll think it is difficult for Maisie to be in the midst of a divorce.”

  “Leo is banging the nanny?” Had my PI figured that out and passed it on? That was the one source of good news I’d had in a long time.

  “Yeah. I’m looking into it more.” He sounded distracted as if someone was taking his attention while he was on the phone with me.

  “Okay, so no divorce, but she’s pregnant, and I need to ensure that my rights are protected.”

  There was a pause. “You know Dylan, for a guy who seems to have it all together, you don’t have it together. You want to divorce your wife while she’s pregnant? Jesus, if your ex got wind of that—”

  “Well she won’t, right? Client-attorney privilege.” I did sound like a complete douche, but she was the one who tried to keep the pregnancy from me.

  “Now isn’t the time for any of this. If you want Maisie, suck it up and make it work until this is done.”

  I knew he was right. There wasn’t anything I wouldn’t do for Maisie, so if I had to stay married to Tessa, I would. “Tessa is with her parents right now. I don’t know if she’ll be back for the court hearing coming next week.”

  “I’ll take care of it. In the m
eantime, stay the course.”

  The following Sunday, I felt like I could finally breathe again when Maisie returned home.

  “Where’s Tessa?” she asked when I closed the door behind Veronica and Leo as they headed home.

  “She’s visiting her mom and dad.”

  “Still? She’s been there longer than me.”

  I didn’t know how to explain Tessa being gone. We’d had a few texts, mostly her telling me she planned to stay at her parents longer. On Friday, she sent me the sonogram appointment information. But other than that, we hadn’t talked, and it was fucking killing me. How was it that I missed her as much as I missed Maisie? She’d hurt me, and yet somehow all I could remember was her sweet smile, generous heart, and the way she doted on Maisie. It was a lie, I told myself. But I didn’t want to believe it. In fact, one night, Tessa came to me in my dream. She started to suck my dick, which I didn’t want her to do because even in my dream I was pissed.

  “You betrayed me,” I said trying to get away.

  “You hurt me too, and yet I’m still here. Till death do us part.” She looked up at me from where she knelt before me.

  “It’s not real. Our marriage isn’t real.”

  “Yes, it was. For a few moments it was real. It still could be real.”

  I shook my head, but then her lips were on me, and my anger was no match for my desire. I woke with a start, my cock throbbing with need.

  The following week, I brought Maisie to work with me, paying the playroom staff extra to watch her while I worked. Fortunately, Corrine was able to watch her on my court date, as she had during the other court appearances.

  I walked into court wondering how the judge would take it that Tessa wasn’t there. Being with her folks was a good reason, right? But as I approached my lawyer at the table, I saw that Tessa was here. She looked worse than before. Tired and worn out. Was she having a hard time with the pregnancy?

  She gave me a tentative smile. “I said I’d help, so I’m here, but if you want me to go …”

  “You need to stay,” the lawyer said, pulling out a chair for her.

  I nodded my agreement and sat next to her. My lawyer started talking in a low voice, but I couldn’t hear him. I was distracted by her presence. Her scent. The warmth of her body next to mine. She was fucking wreaking havoc on my emotions and my senses.

  “Are you feeling okay?” I asked, because I wasn’t a total asshole. She was carrying my child. I needed to take care of her.

  “Yes.” But her tone didn’t make me a believer.

  “All rise,” the bailiff’s voice filled the room.

  We sat again when the judge entered and sat, and the first order of things was to check about Maisie’s visit.

  “I have the social worker’s reports from two visits; one to Mr. and Mrs. Hyatt and one to Mr. and Mrs. Baskin. Overall, both visits seem to have gone well.”

  “In that case, we’d like to push for a month-long visit before school starts in the fall,” Veronica’s lawyer said.

  “In light of new information, we have concerns about any further visits with the Baskins,” my lawyer said.

  Was this where he accused Leo of banging the nanny?

  “What new information?” the judge asked.

  “We have two concerns. The first is that we are questioning the stability of the Baskin marriage.”

  “What’s he talking about?” Veronica blurted, looking over at our table.

  “We have evidence that Mr. Baskin is having an affair with the child’s French nanny,” my attorney said.

  “That’s absurd,” Leo sneered.

  Veronica looked at Leo with such shock, that I felt sorry for her.

  “Quiet,” the judge ordered. “What evidence?”

  “I have it here.” My lawyer handed an envelope to the bailiff. “However, our biggest concern has to do with a plan for the Baskin’s to move to France, taking Maisie with them.”

  “What?” I said. I looked at my lawyer. I hadn’t heard about that.

  My lawyer put his hand on my shoulder, cueing me to be quiet.

  “That’s outrageous,” the other attorney said. “Just because my client travels to France frequently doesn’t mean they plan to move there or take the child. They understand how important Mr. Hyatt is to the child.”

  “This passport for Maisie suggests something different. Your honor, I believe that Mrs. Baskin wants sole custody, as opposed to joint, because she plans to leave the country with the child and can’t unless she has full legal rights. While you may decide she’s a better parent, it would be cruel for the state of New York to allow a child to be ripped from the only parent who’s been with her all her five years to live in another country where she can’t see him.”

  My gaze shot to Veronica, who sat looking down as if she had something to hide. Fuck. Was she really going to do that? Of all the things I considered, taking Maisie out of the country and away from me wasn’t one of them. I truly had no clue what women were capable of.

  “As I said, the Baskins travel and they’d like to show Maisie other places in the world. They don’t plan to move there,” the other attorney said.

  “So, this bill of sale for a flat in Paris in Mr. Baskin’s name isn’t to live in? Or is it for his mistress?”

  “Mr. Connors, let’s remember our manners,” the judge chastised my lawyer.

  “Yes, your honor.”

  “Mrs. Baskin, what can you tell me about all this? Remember, you’re under oath,” the judge said. I was glad she was taking the issue seriously.

  Veronica’s fiery eyes glared at me and then the judge. “I’m not the one lying here, judge. Dylan and Tessa have a fake marriage. They only married to fool you into thinking he was stable.”

  “I’m not talking to them now,” the judge said, but she cast a glance at me before returning her attention to Veronica. “What is this about moving to France?”

  She sighed. “We do want to spend more time in France, but not forever. Dylan would still be able to see Maisie.”

  The judge pursed her lips and then turned to me. “What’s this about a fake marriage?”

  “Your honor, the Hyatts are legally married. I have the marriage certificate to prove it, and they just found out they’re expecting a baby. They’re thrilled to be giving Maisie a baby brother or sister.”

  Tessa stiffened next to me, and looked my way. I forced a smile and hoped to hell she’d do the same. That’s why we were here, after all. To look like the happy family we weren’t.

  25

  Tessa

  One of the hardest things I’ve ever done was walk into that courtroom. I wasn’t sure if Dylan wanted me there or not, despite his lawyer telling me to come. Dylan seemed surprised at first, but didn’t say anything. He asked how I was, which was a good sign, I suppose, but I held no illusions that things would work out for us.

  The lawyer surprised me by telling the court I was pregnant. That meant Dylan had to have told the lawyer. Had he started his strategy for fighting for our baby as well?

  Dylan looked at me and smiled. It wasn’t a genuine smile, but one to show the court he was happy. Doing what I’d agreed to do, I smiled back. Because it was so painful, I turned and looked at the judge.

  “That only suggests he knocked her up,” Veronica scoffed.

  “Mr. Jackson, keep your client under control.” The judge looked back to us. “Congratulations, Mr. and Mrs. Hyatt.” She looked over the documents Dylan’s lawyer turned in and then up at us again. “In light of this new information, I’d like to recess to review.” She adjourned us for thirty minutes.

  Feeling like I couldn’t breathe, I excused myself and went to the restroom. I splashed water on my face and stared at the woman in the mirror.

  “How did you get here?” I asked her.

  Needing fresh air, I stepped outside, wishing the sun could cast away the doom and gloom I was feeling.

  “Mrs. Hyatt.”

  I turned to Dylan’s lawyer.


  “It turns out that information you found was important.”

  I nodded. Just like I thought.

  He cocked his head to the side as he studied me. “I hate to do this now, but I don’t know when I’ll see you again.” He handed me an envelope.

  I swallowed as dread filled me. “Are these divorce papers?”

  He shook his head and looked around as if he wanted to make sure no one was listening. “No. These have to do with the baby and Mr. Hyatt’s rights.”

  My heart felt like an aching mass. “I don’t want—”

  He held up a hand. “I’m his lawyer, and anything you say to me, I could use against you.”

  I was only going to say I didn’t want to take the child, but I decided maybe he was right in that I needed to protect my rights too.

  “I don’t know about your marriage, and I don’t want to know. But I suspect even if it started as a sham, it’s not so now. Try to work things out.”

  I nodded. “Does he plan to divorce me?”

  He looked at me with sympathy. “Try and work things out.”

  I took that as a yes. Dylan had every right to be angry and want nothing to do with me. I made a mistake by not telling him about the baby sooner. I knew how he felt about Maisie and the woman trying to take her away from him. My only choice now was to try and figure out a way to have an amicable relationship with him for our child’s sake. I had to hope that he wouldn’t use his resources to take my child from me.

  I opened the envelope and took out the papers.

  “Have your lawyer check them over. My card is in there too so you can give it to whoever you retain.”

  Seeing legal papers knocked the wind out of me. I inhaled sharply trying to get my bearings.

  “Are you okay?” he asked.

  I felt completely gutted. It was my own fault, I knew, but that didn’t change how much I wished Dylan would talk to me and forgive me. This baby wasn’t born and already, I was grieving that I might lose custody of it.