Again for the First Time

by Raven St. Pierre

  I laughed and promised him.

  *****

  My hands shook like crazy as we stood at the door of Luke’s parents’ home. It was roughly the same size as my parents’ place, but in this particular area I was positive they’d paid double the price. The yard was perfectly manicured and tidy—just like I imagined his family would probably be.

  “Don’t be nervous,” Luke said, the tenderness of his tone not being lost on me. In fact, I’d heard that same warmth, felt it, almost every time he addressed me. I looked up at him and nodded at his gentle words, exhaling to relax. If he could tell I was nervous, they’d notice, too.

  The next second the door flung open and Luke’s father stood on the other side of the threshold, roughly the same height as Luke and Matt who were both just over six feet tall. In fact, he looked like I imagined Luke would in about twenty to thirty years. Briefly, his father glanced over toward me, and then back at his son.

  “Come on in,” he said, pushing the storm door open so we could pass. The words, “Hello, young lady,” nearly startled me out of my shoes when Mr. Valente’s attention was directed my way.

  My stomach all in knots, I smiled nervously and waved, giving nothing more than a timid “Hi” in return. This was going to be even harder than I thought. And if I knew my body, all this pressure, the stress, would take a toll on me soon. Hopefully, I’d be home before that happened, though.

  Next, Mr. Valente addressed his other son, one corner of his mouth turned up when he did. “I see you still haven’t cut that hair yet, Matt. I’m assuming you’ll take care of that before Nick’s wedding?”

  “No way,” Matt replied, leaning in to hug his father as he answered his question.

  Mr. Valente just shook his head as he chuckled at Matt’s response.

  “Dad, this is Lissette,” Luke cut in.

  I could feel myself shaking from head to toe. “Nice to meet you,” I forced out, only slightly louder than a whisper.

  “My pleasure.” Mr. Valente shook my hand gently and nodded before addressing his sons again. “Everyone else is already in the dining room. Your mother’s bringing dinner out now.”

  I trailed behind Luke like a child while Matt filmed from a small handheld. We were seated at the far end of the table. All eyes were on me, causing me to wonder if Luke didn’t bring women home often. But then I remembered the ‘on again, off again’ relationship he’d mentioned the night before. Something dawned on me; it could’ve been that his family just wasn’t used to him bringing anyone around but her—whoever she was. I made a mental note to myself: maybe he and this girl were more serious than he let on.

  A woman with long, brown hair that fell to her elbows stared at me through eyes heavily lined with a charcoal-colored shadow. Upon meeting my gaze, her conversation with the man beside her ceased. With features similar to those I’d admired on Luke—classically chiseled, European nose and prominent jawline—I knew this had to be his sister, although I couldn’t recall her name at the moment. I also deduced that the man holding the glass of wine beside her was Nicolai, the oldest brother, because he too shared these same traits that I now realized were commonplace in the Valente family. He wasn’t scowling, but he wasn’t exactly giving off a friendly vibe either. In fact, I summed him up with one word: pretentious.

  Another woman, Nick’s fiancé I assumed, sat perched in a chair, texting away, completely unaware of the fact that a stranger had even entered the room. It was difficult to tell whether the avoidance was intentional or not, but I let it go either way. When I did a count of how many of us here knew who I was and why Luke had brought me, it eased my mind just slightly when I realized that the scales were tipped in our favor. The only ones who weren’t clued in were Luke’s parents and his sister.

  The group sat quietly while they waited for Mrs. Valente to finish serving the meal. They were so different from my loud, expressive family. Then again, soon enough the Valente’s would technically be my family, too, I remembered. Still, I kind of missed all the noise and chaos. It felt strange to have so many people in one room and for it to be this quiet.

  “Luke? You’ve brought a guest?” his sister asked boldly, smiling when she did.

  “Noemi, Lissette. Lissette, Noemi,” Luke replied, glancing at me momentarily as he introduced us. “Lissette’s the reason we’re here tonight. I wanted you all to meet her.”

  Being put on the spot made me even more uncomfortable, but Luke seemed so confident. I had hopes that some of that would rub off on me as the night wore on. Noemi’s smile grew as she sized me up. Not in a catty way. I’d dealt with enough mean girls in my life to know the difference. Trust me.

  Luke’s mother came in at the tail end of the brief conversation, carrying a covered pot with her red oven mitts. She set her dish down and gave a courteous wave.

  “Mom, Lissette. Lissette, my mom,” Luke recited.

  Mrs. Valente made her way over to me and I found nothing in her eyes but kindness, much to my relief. However, she was definitely curious.

  “Did you say Lissette?” she asked, expecting Luke to confirm.

  “Yes, ma’am,” he answered.

  His mother nodded. “Pleased to have you. Make yourself right at home, dear,” she insisted.

  “Thank you very much,” I said back sheepishly.

  Next her gaze shifted to Luke. “Since we’re all here to meet your friend, I’m assuming she’s important? Are you two… courting?” she asked sweetly.

  Matt laughed under his breath and I wasn’t sure if this was because of his mother’s wording or because of her question in general. Either way, I wished he’d stop. I was already nervous enough.

  Luke grinned. “You could say that,” was his only response to his mother’s gentle prying.

  Mrs. Valente surveyed me a few seconds longer and then shared a welcoming smile before going back into the kitchen for whatever else she needed to bring to the table.

  “Granddad’s coming,” Nick announced.

  This made Luke’s face light up when he laughed. “Awesome… this should be interesting.”

  Nick chuckled. “Yeah… that’s one way of putting it.” When he finished speaking, he placed a hand on his fiancé’s shoulder and she shot him an icy glare that made him move it. I was starting to think she was just in a bad mood in general. That had to be it.

  Mrs. Valente returned and set another large pot in the middle of the table. Whatever it was smelled great, but the hint of a dull ache starting in the pit of my stomach had stolen my appetite. This was not the time to have an attack—in front of all these strangers, strangers that I wanted desperately to impress. Within seconds the sensation left and I prayed that it didn’t come back.

  All the food was out on the table and Mrs. Valente took the seat beside her husband at the other end. Just as Luke’s father was getting ready to say grace, the doorbell rang.

  “That’s Dad,” Mrs. Valente announced as she stood to let her father in to join us. Matt hopped out of his seat to quickly adjust the tripod he’d set up in the corner while dinner was on hold.

  This pause gave me a chance to discreetly observe Luke’s family. They weren’t exactly uptight, but their gathering was far more formal than my own family’s. Fine China lined the table and two bottles of expensive wine had been placed at its center. There was even light music playing in the background, making this feel more like a dinner party than a casual meal. It wasn’t what I was used to, but I was sure I would eventually adjust. After all, Luke must’ve been way out of his comfort zone the night before when he met my people. I could survive this. I’d do that for him.

  “Dad, Luke brought a friend with him tonight,” Mrs. Valente announced as she escorted her father into the dining room.

  I stood when Luke did to hug his grandfather, reaching to shake his hand when they were done. He stared at me for a second before returning the gesture.

  “Beautiful eyes,” he said sweetly, bringing a smile to my face, and then he took his seat. The ot
hers had been kind, but his was the warmest welcome of all. Clearly, Luke had inherited his charm from this man.

  With all the guests finally present, Mr. Valente was now able to say grace.

  “Amen,” we all said in unison when he finished. I was just getting ready to reach for a plate when Luke gently placed his hand on top of mine, holding me in his gaze.

  “I’ve got it,” he said quietly, insisting on serving me as I just about melted into a puddle in my seat. From the corner of my eye, I detected a hint of pride in the half smile his father gave as he watched Luke and I together. He seemed to approve of his son’s chivalry. It was becoming very clear that Luke came from good stock. Thus far, he’d been so sweet, attentive even.

  There was very little conversation during the meal, which made me a little uneasy, but I coped. Through the salad and main course I can’t recall more than five sentences being spoken.

  “Everything was perfect,” I assured Mrs. Valente as she cleared my plate from the table with everyone else’s.

  She nodded appreciatively to each of us, but didn’t say a word. Luke’s grandfather watched me from across the table and smiled when our eyes met. “I believe I missed the introduction, young lady. Your name?”

  “Lissette. Um, James,” I added clumsily. “But, it’s Lissy for short.”

  He smiled again. “Well, you can just call me Granddad like all the other kids do.”

  I nodded politely and knew right away that, next to Luke and maybe Matt, he’d probably be my favorite of the Valente clan. I sensed already that he was a good person. After staring for a moment, he opened his mouth to speak; however, Luke’s mother returned to the table with dessert and fresh plates before he could get his statement out.

  “Do you like apple pie, sweetheart?” Mrs. Valente asked, directing her question at me.

  I nodded politely. “Yes, ma’am. I do.”

  Immediately after I answered, she served me a slice and then the others. It was clear that she was in her element when it came to all things domestic. Her cooking was excellent, her home was spotless, and it didn’t look like she’d broken a sweat or a nail doing any of it. Naturally, I compared my own skills to hers and wondered if Luke would expect me to be like this—a thought which made me feel instantly inferior to this woman who’d give even Martha Stewart a run for her money.

  The entire table was silent while we all indulged in Mrs. Valente’s dessert. She was on her feet and clearing the table as soon as everyone was finished, but this time Nick’s fiancé, Mel, and Noemi assisted. Normally, I would’ve offered to help, too, but I wasn’t quite ready to be on my own with Luke’s relatives without him also being present just yet. Mr. Valente suggested that the rest of us head to the living room to get more comfortable now that we’d finished eating. We crossed the foyer to the large room on the other side. I sat to the right of Luke on his parents’ vintage, French provincial settee, which matched the rest of the furniture in the beautifully decorated room.

  From the looks of it, Mrs. Valente was a collector of crystal figurines. They were displayed on almost every hard surface in the room—from the mantel, to the lit curio cabinet in the corner, and even a few had been bravely set out on the coffee table beside the potted silk flowers. Everything was so… perfect, untouched, delicate. My own parents’ home was much more lived in; clean, but definitely lived in. My mother had gotten tired of having expensive items out in the open because they’d always get broken somehow. And even once my sisters and I were all grown and out of the house, there was my niece and nephews to consider. I looked around again and just thinking about how much all the figurines must’ve cost Mrs. Valente, I pulled my arm in closer, double-checking to make sure I wasn’t anywhere near the twinkling horse on the end table beside me.

  “Granddad, any hot new chicks in the retirement home?” Matt asked out the blue, pushing his fingers through his lengthy hair.

  Luke’s grandfather chuckled. “No, Matty. I think all the ‘hot’ ones, as you say, must head south in their golden years. Besides, at my age, you’re doing good to find a woman who still has her own teeth. Or a bladder that doesn’t get the best of her when she laughs too hard.”

  I snorted by accident when his response caught me off guard, drawing everyone’s attention as I did. I covered my mouth, feeling extremely embarrassed. Luke’s eyes met mine almost the second the sound slipped out and he laughed a little. The others chuckled, too, and I wanted to crawl under a freaking rock. However, when Luke placed his hand on mine, the mortification faded away quickly as he comforted me with this one simple gesture, leaving his hand there for a moment before taking it away. Within seconds, everyone’s attention went back to Matt when he spoke again.

  “Still been working out, though? Hitting the gym?” he asked his grandfather.

  Luke leaned in to whisper, clarifying that Matt had used the term ‘working out’ very loosely. Pretty much their grandfather had just taken a liking to riding the stationary bike in his retirement home’s physical therapy room. During his explanation, I found myself only half listening, though. His breath against my ear triggered a persistent outbreak of goose bumps as my skin seemed to awaken with him so close.

  “Gotcha,” I whispered back, somewhat dazed as he pulled away again.

  “I still go once or twice a week,” was their grandfather’s response just before his eyes went to Luke. “Speaking of getting healthy, you mother tells me you’ve laid off the cigarettes?”

  Before this, I hadn’t realized Luke was even a smoker, well ex-smoker. Then again, there had to be a lot I didn’t know about him.

  He nodded at his grandfather to confirm, scrubbing his hand over the stubble on his chin. “Yeah, uh… It’s been about three months now.”

  Luke’s grandfather, or Granddad as he preferred to be called, seemed pleased as he looked him over. “Good for you. Keep that up.”

  Luke smiled graciously with nothing more than a quick, “Thank you.”

  I was just getting ready to congratulate Luke myself, but was silenced by a sharp pain that hit my side out of nowhere, taking my breath away, making the room go dark as all of my senses were dulled by the throbbing. Counting the seconds that passed, I tried my best to mask the agony on my face. No one had seen me wince so there was still time to fix my expression. I prayed the episode would go unnoticed. Slowly but surely, I was able to straighten my posture and pulled my hand away from my stomach. After a few agonizing minutes the pain subsided altogether, and I discreetly wiped away the light sheen of sweat that had touched my hairline during the attack.

  Light chatter from the men filled the air and became background noise to my thoughts. There were things about me that Luke would need to know, things concerning my health, and I knew this conversation should probably take place sometime before next Thursday when we’d be making the ultimate commitment to one another. However, I had some very strong reservations. For a number of reasons, I was having a hard time wrapping my mind around coming clean. Among those reasons was the fact that I’d explained my condition to the last man I was involved with, and it didn’t end well for me. Granted, Luke and I weren’t technically in this relationship all that deep, but on the contrary, soon we’d be in it as deep as two people could get—regardless of how we ended up there. I didn’t want to enter into this marriage with secrets, especially ones of this magnitude. So I’d have to tell him. It wasn’t right not to.

  Mrs. Valente and the other two ladies came to join us in the living room while I continued to wonder if there would ever be such a thing as the ‘right’ time to have this particular talk with Luke. In passing, his mother sent a warm smile in my direction before taking her seat and it was then that I noticed how Mel shifted her gaze away as soon as I made eye contact with her, too blatantly to have been an accident, to be misinterpreted. Since Luke and I arrived, she hadn’t spoken a single word to me. Not one. There was no doubt she knew who I was and she knew the details of my relationship with Luke, but… wasn’t she a part of
this too? I expected her to be more cordial, more understanding. Maybe I was missing something.

  Noemi cut into my thoughts with a question. “So, Lissette, do you live close by?”

  I cleared my throat and forced a smile that felt unnatural. “Uh… no. I actually live closer to downtown,” I replied.

  She smiled but cringed. “It’s just too crowded in town for me. I’d lose my mind. You like it, though?”

  I shrugged. “I’ve gotten used to it. I’m originally from the Wiltshire area, but moved into the city to be closer to my job.” As soon as the words left my mouth, I regretted it, knowing what Noemi’s follow-up question would me.

  “Oh? What do you do for a living?” she asked. Of course she asked.

  At the risk of Luke’s family judging me, I told the truth. “Actually… I was laid-off some months back, but I’m in the process of turning my part-time handbag and jewelry making into full-time income.”

  You could’ve heard a pin drop and I wasn’t surprised. This was the way most people responded when I shared my dream. Was it a stretch to think I could really generate an income worth talking about? Okay, maybe, but as Matt had said a couple days ago, I had heart, passion for my craft, and to me that made all the difference.

  I couldn’t help but to chuckle as the silence persisted. Realizing she’d failed to respond in that delicate sliver of time that would hide the fact that she was dumfounded, Noemi scrambled for something to say.

  “Oh, well… that’s really cool! I admire you for going after your dream.” Her eyes shifted to the floor, where the purse I’d brought with me sat resting beside my feet. “Is this one of your designs?” she asked.

  I looked down at the bag too when I reached to lift it. “Actually, yeah. It is.”

  She seemed shocked when I confirmed. “That’s really cute! How much do you sell them for? I’ll buy one.”

  “It varies really.” A thought occurred to me and I immediately pulled the few items I’d brought with me from inside the bag—only my wallet and a small pouch with my medication and a travel-size bottle of lotion inside. Luke’s sister didn’t know what to say when I handed my purse over to her. “Take it. It’s yours,” I insisted. “I left one of my business cards in the inside pocket for you. Has my number and website right on it.”