Again for the First Time

by Raven St. Pierre

  The song ended and Lissette placed another soft kiss on my lips before taking my hand, leading me to the seat beside her at the table that had been prepared for us. Bernadine tended to the music while we sat watching their father and uncle man the grill, finishing the last of the meat.

  My grandfather watched Lissette and I from a distance, thinking about the life he had with my grandmother, I imagined. Weddings tend to send people on unsolicited trips down memory lane. He sipped his drink and then looked away.

  Lissette’s sisters were tearing up the makeshift dance floor while Noemi and Nick held down the table nearest the patio door, just watching, too uptight to join in on the fun. It seemed like every time I looked at Matt, he had his eyes on Brooklyn. In my head, I’d already started the countdown. Come hell or high water, he’d find a way to make her bend to his will. I’d seen him do it a thousand times.

  “You think they’re having a good time?” Lissette asked, following my gaze to my siblings.

  I shrugged. “I’m pretty sure they are.”

  “Well, my hood-rat sisters will have enough fun for everyone. If you think they’re bad now, imagine what happens after a few drinks.”

  Secretly—or maybe not so secretly—I envied the closeness of her family. My own typically colored inside the proverbial lines, except for Matt or course. When I looked at Lissette’s sisters in comparison to my older brother and sister, the differences were vast. The James women, Lissette included, were fun-loving, quick with a smile, and carefree. I looked around at all they’d done for us on this day, confirming that they were so much more openhearted.

  “Lissy, come on,” Bernadine beckoned.

  Mr. James waited with his hand extended as Lissette got up from her seat and joined him for a dance. Her father’s love for her was so earnest; it made me value her that much more just knowing how much she meant to him. I watched in silence as she smiled up at him, her first love. She’d laugh every so often when he’d say something amusing. I couldn’t wait to get to know her as well as he did. Without a doubt, I was in for a treat.

  “She comes from a good family,” my grandfather commented as he came and occupied Lissette’s seat in her absence.

  I nodded with a smile. “Yeah, they really seem great.”

  We both fell silent for a moment while we watched Lissette and Mr. James dance.

  “I think that’s her aunt and uncle over there by the grill, but I’m not sure,” I added, pointing at the couple.

  Granddad nodded and the creases around his eyes deepened when something occurred to him, causing him to smile. “Well, from the looks of it, I’m the oldest one here. Her grandparents have passed on?”

  I paused to recall what Lissette had told me. “Her dad’s parents died when he was a kid. The grandfather who’s still living travels a lot, I think. She talks about her mother’s mother the most, though. She was really special to Lissette and her sisters, but she passed away some time ago.”

  “That’s too bad. I’m sure Lissette would’ve loved to have her here on a day like today.”

  I nodded, knowing that she would have.

  The song ended and Mr. James placed a kiss in the middle of Lissette’s forehead before embracing her. Her mother and sisters all applauded and snapped photos of the moment.

  “Well, that’s my cue to give up my seat,” Granddad said. Before leaving, he placed a hand on my shoulder. “I’m proud of you, Luke. And hang on to this one.” He smiled. “She’s a good girl.”

  Even he could see it. My grandfather’s words rang in my head as I watched my new wife approach our table. So beautiful. So perfect. As if she’d heard my thoughts, she smiled.

  “I absolutely hate being the center of attention,” she said under her breath as she adjusted her seat.

  “This is your day. Get used to everything being all about you.”

  She smiled up at me and then quickly looked away just as a hint of red tinted her skin. “Hungry?” she asked. I think everything’s pretty much done. I can fix your plate if you want,” she offered.

  Noticing my brothers already standing near the food, waiting, I decided that I’d serve her again. “You know what? Allow me.” I kissed her hand once and then headed over.

  Nick eyed me as I walked up and, knowing him as well as I do, I knew what he was thinking before he said a word. “I can’t believe you really did it, man,” he said discreetly as I approached him and Matt.

  All I could do was laugh. There was no explaining to him how right this felt. He’d never get it.

  “Anyway, Mel told me to give you her best. She would’ve been here, but… you know how chicks are.”

  His statement made me look his way. “She didn’t want to come? I mean, I figured she wasn’t here because she had wedding stuff of her own to get out the way. It didn’t even cross my mind that she–”

  Nick’s hand came to rest heavily on my shoulder. “Don’t sweat it,” he shrugged, taking a step forward when the line moved a little. “I think this whole thing is just a little…” He paused to choose a word. “…weird for her. You know, with her and Cat being cousins and all.”

  An exasperated sigh left Matt’s mouth. “To hell with Cat.”

  Nick didn’t object. He wasn’t necessarily a fan of my ex either, but like I said, part of that was because no one truly understood her departure but me. Still, though, Cat and I were water under the bridge—had been for quite some time now.

  When it hit me that Cat was getting far too much airtime on this particular day, I changed the subject.

  “Looking forward to the bachelor party?” I chimed in, as if I even needed to ask. Nick’s eyes lit up just at the mere mention of the celebration he’d been looking forward to for the past few months. It was like the bachelor party was his consolation prize for getting married.

  “I got drinks, food, and of course strippers. I reserved a suite at the Trenton. Got it at half price ‘cause I used to bang the girl who manages it.”

  Matt and I both shook our heads.

  “What? The relationship expired, not the half-off hook-up. Plus, I get the room for three nights, so me and Mel can spend a couple days there before we leave for Hawaii.”

  I made a face at him. “Dude, you’re taking your new wife to a hotel room that you got on discount from an ex? The room you will have had strippers in the night before?”

  Failing to see the wrong, Nick shrugged and nodded. “I mean, I’ll have housekeeping clean up and everything, so… what’s the big deal?”

  Matt focused on fixing his plate when our eldest brother’s antics seemed endless.

  “You guys act like you’re not gonna be there doing the exact same stuff I’m gonna be doing.” He dropped a piece of barbeque chicken on his plate. “It’s a bachelor party. Mel isn’t expecting me to be a saint.”

  I sighed and grabbed plates for Lissette and I. “Do what you want.”

  “Trust and believe, I will.” Nick smiled devilishly, looking over his shoulder to make sure no one else was around. It should’ve dawned on me then that he was getting ready to say something inappropriate, but I wasn’t prepared when he asked, “So… what’s your girl like in bed?”

  I shook my head. “Tell you what; when I find out…” the cliffhanger left him hopeful until I added, “…I still won’t tell you. How’s that sound?”

  Matt laughed.

  Nick slapped a heap of potato salad on his plate. “Wait, wait, wait. Hold on a sec. You mean to tell me you just put a ring on this chick’s finger and didn’t even test the goods yet? All I’m sayin’ is, even the grocery store gives out samples. How do you even know if it’s any good?”

  My brother and his caveman mentality. His mind had three modes: eat, sleep, sex.

  “I think I’ll be all right, Nick, but thanks for your concern,” was all I offered as a response.

  He shook his head. “That’s crazy. Her performance would’ve at least determined the size of the diamond,” he added.

  I finished fixing
the plates and left my brothers to discuss my sex life on their own, although I was pretty sure Matt had long-since tuned Nick out. I placed Lissette’s food down in front of her and then sat.

  “Thanks,” she said smiling. “You know you’re setting yourself up, though, right?”

  Confused, I asked, “How’s that?”

  She tasted the baked beans before responding. “You fixed my plate at your parents’ house, now this. Keep it up and I’m gonna expect this sort of treatment always.” She said this with an air of humor, but there were definitely undertones of truth in her voice. More than once, she’d shared how Gerard had flipped the script on her mid-relationship, leaving a bad taste in her mouth. Even though her father seemed like a good enough guy, all it takes is one man with ill intentions to make a girl skeptical of all others.

  I shrugged. “That’s one thing about me; I’m consistent if nothing else. I won’t change on you. Promise.”

  Lissette stared at me with her fork in midair. She closed her mouth and said nothing. I was all in my food before I realized she was even watching me. The first thing that came to mind was that she’d heard this from someone else who’d let her down regardless of giving her his word that he wouldn’t.

  But then her expression softened.

  “Where’d you come from, Luke?” was the only thing she said.

  I didn’t quite know how to respond, so my only response was the look of confusion on my face.

  A slow smile crept along the contours of her lips, plump and lightly glossed. She put her fork down, food still on the end of it. “I didn’t think guys like you existed.

  I felt my ego perk up. Here it’d only been two weeks and she’d already decided I was better than all the rest. I smiled a little.

  “I like you,” she said with a grin.

  The simplicity of the statement made me laugh. Looking into her eyes, I knew her feelings ran way deeper than ‘liking’ me, but I’d take that for now.

  “I like you, too.”

  For the first time, she initiated a kiss. Every time our lips met that day, she seemed to warm up to me just a little bit more. Her hand came to rest gently on my thigh, her fingertips gripping the inside of it while our mouths moved in synch. Her tongue moved in slow, sensual circles around mine. She made me forget all about being hungry. The only need I had now was to be closer to her. With far more self-control than I had, Lissette backed away. She stared at me for a moment, a long moment, and then forced herself to again focus on her plate. It took me longer than it took her to recover, but I did the best I could.

  After the meal, we danced a couple more times, conversed with family, and then decided to call it a night at around nine. I waited beside the limo while Lissette went upstairs to get her dress and whatever else she left behind. Her mother approached me slowly with an unsure smile on her face, almost like she didn’t know if it was okay to approve of what her daughter and I had just done.

  “You two have honeymoon plans?” She stopped in front of me and waited for an answer.

  I shook my head. “No, we’ve got my brother’s wedding to attend Saturday, so we need to be in town. But I’m hoping to get away soon.” Now wasn’t the time to tell Mrs. James that I couldn’t exactly afford to take her daughter on a vacation. With the way Lissette and I sprung this all on everyone, I was sure I was already on thin ice.

  Mrs. James nodded, still with a reluctant smile. “Okay.”

  There was something she wanted to say or at least that’s the impression I got.

  “I appreciate everything you and your family have done here today. It was a beautiful gesture,” I said when she turned to leave.

  She nodded. “We’d do anything for that girl.” She smiled a little differently now. “Lissy and Brook being the babies of the family, Delia, Aura, and Bean all seem to think they’re their mommas, too.”

  For some reason I’d already figured that out. “Well, she’s blessed.”

  Mrs. James pursed her lips and watched me. “No, you’re both blessed. Lissy didn’t tell me exactly what happened when you went to your family, but whatever it is, we’re here for both of you. Even after everything has smoothed out with your parents, not just because you’re on the outs. You understand?”

  I nodded and embraced her. “Thank you. I needed that.” And I did.

  She patted my back. “We’re here for both of you,” she repeated as she turned to walk back toward the house.

  Lissette emerged from the front door with a small tote and the garment bag with her dress inside. I rushed to take both from her hands and set them in the trunk while the driver helped her into the oversized backseat. The door closed behind me when I followed her, and for the first time as husband and wife, we were alone. As if she had the same thought, Lissette looked at me and smiled.

  “I’m still in shock. Aren’t you?” She asked, laughing a little.

  I gazed at her face—beautiful, content, happy. “One-hundred percent.”

  She laughed harder and then interlocked her fingers with mine before her head came to rest on my shoulder. The scent of her hair wafted in my direction and I breathed it in. The closeness developing between us was incredible. For now it was strictly on an emotional level, but the depth of it left me positive that the physical connection would be at least equally as explosive whenever we got around to it; whenever she felt comfortable. I wanted so much more from her than her body, which made the waiting a little easier. Her heart was actually number one on my list of things to capture. That had to someday belong to me, too.

  *****

  Lissette

  When Luke asked if I’d rather spend our first night together at my place, his place, or a hotel, I quickly replied, “My place is fine.”

  He carried my things down the hall while I fumbled to find my key. I was so nervous my hands were shaking. The lock disengaged and we stepped inside into the darkness. The lamp brought the room to life and Luke set my bags down. Matt and Nick would be dropping his car off here later—inside which he’d forgotten his duffle bag with his change of clothes. Until then, he had nothing to wear but his tux.

  I eased down onto the arm of the couch, laughing at Luke a bit as he sat in the armchair. “You look so uncomfortable.”

  He sighed heavily from fatigue and gave a weak smile as his eyes drifted shut. “Maybe just a little.”

  It dawned on me that I had a t-shirt and sweats that Gerard had left here, and they were pretty much the same size, but I figured it wasn’t wise to suggest that Luke put them on. Nope, definitely a bad idea.

  “What time are they coming with your car?” I asked.

  He shrugged, still only watching the insides of his eyelids. “No idea. Matt said he was gonna stay and help clean up.” Luke paused to laugh at the exact same time I did, probably because we both knew his brother’s offer was somewhat selfish in nature; it was likely he’d only volunteered because he’d get to hang around Brooklyn a little more. “And Nick has to drop some money off at his buddy’s place before eleven for the drinks for the bachelor party tomorrow night. So, it could be midnight before they show.”

  When Luke fell silent again, I looked around at the mess my sisters and I left while we got ready. Since he was resting, I decided to clean. The couch squeaked a little when I stood, though, waking Luke again by accident. “Where you goin’?” he asked groggily.

  I glanced around again. “I didn’t realize I left my apartment this messy. I just thought I’d–”

  “Leave it. I’ll help you in the morning,” he offered.

  Again with the sweet gestures.

  I nodded, unable to deny the fact that I was beyond tired myself. A yawn forced its way out as I decided to sit back down on the couch, but Luke spoke again just before I had the chance.

  “Come sit with me,” he suggested casually as he closed his eyes. I stared, knowing he’d expect me to do as he’d asked.

  I took my time crossing the room and finally stopped in front of the chair. When I approached, L
uke reached for my hand and eased me down onto his lap. The firmness of his thighs against my backside was sobering. I was suddenly more aware of our closeness, the intimacy. The heat from his body warmed the skin on my legs where my dress didn’t cover it. I let out a small breath and tried to get settled. However, I was unsure of how I should sit exactly, so I just balanced my weight on his right thigh and didn’t move.

  The sound of Luke laughing drew my gaze to his face. He’d opened his eyes to assess my posture. “Am I making you uncomfortable or something?” he asked

  The truth was, I didn’t want to give him the wrong idea about tonight, and sitting in a man’s lap had historically led to other things which eventually led to sex. I was fully aware of what happened on most people’s wedding night, but I had no intentions of being intimate with Luke so soon—husband or not.

  “A little,” I admitted openly.

  I expected him to back off when I was honest with him, freeing me to sit on the couch where I’d originally tried to settle, but instead he pulled me into his arms where I was forced to relax against his shoulder. He kissed the side of my face before whispering, “We won’t do anything you’re not ready to do.” He placed another kiss on the corner of my mouth and then breathed deeply against my skin as he prepared to drift off again.

  I lay there in his arms, listening to the slow, steady surges of air escaping his lungs, hearing his declaration playing inside my head on repeat. Even his willpower was sexy. I looked down at his hands interlocked at my waist—his lengthy fingers with a wedding band on one. The sight of it jarred my heart, but in a good way. It was a symbol of the commitment we’d just made, of the fact that we belonged to one another. I was his, he was mine.

  I thought back over the details of the wedding and smiled. If I hadn’t witnessed the planning and execution of it myself, I never would’ve guessed it was thrown together as quickly as it was. Everything was exactly as it should’ve been. Luke fit into the puzzle of my life like he was made to be a part of it. I couldn’t even begin to explain this, but it just was.