Again for the First Time

by Raven St. Pierre

  “Two questions: How the hell did you get naked that fast? And what do you think you’re gonna do with that frosting?” I asked.

  He nodded his head toward the piece of paper in my hand and placed the can on the coffee table before kneeling down beside me. I watched as he unbuttoned my shirt teasingly slow as my imagination ran wild. He unclasped the front of my bra next, exposing my breasts. The lid to the frosting was removed and placed aside before Luke dipped a long finger inside the container. Slowly, he coated my right nipple with a generous layer of the white icing. The sensitive flesh tightened at the feel of his finger circling it. My teeth clamped down firm on my lip and I stared.

  “I was just thinking,” he said before pressing his lips to the side of my breast, the heat of his breath grazing my skin each time he paused to speak. “It’d be a shame to… let all this frosting go to waste.”

  I smiled as I watched his mouth connect with my body once more, still not touching my frosting-covered nipple. Instead, he moved around it, still teasing.

  “Is that right?” I asked distractedly.

  “Mmm hmm. I figured we could find something to do with it.”

  I drew in a breath, watching as he swirled another trail of icing from my navel to just above my waistband.

  “What’d you have in mind?” came out in one breathy sigh when I questioned him.

  He shrugged, but didn’t answer right away, pulling the pants that I wore down my legs first with a few gentle tugs. “We can get creative.”

  I smiled at the possibilities and then made sure Luke would always remember his first birthday with me as a happy one. I wanted him to know that we’d have many more days and nights just like this one as long as we were together.

  Forever.

  *****

  I laughed a little to myself at Luke’s sulky expression as he got ready to head out with his brothers. It hadn’t been long since he’d come in from work, so I imagined he was pretty tired. “If you don’t wanna go, you could always ditch Matt and Nick and just come with me.”

  He looked up as he tied his laces and I felt so lucky to be his, taking in the sight of him while waiting for his response. I was stricken with a feeling that’d been hitting me a lot lately—serenity, as if having him around brought a certain sense of peace to my life that hadn’t existed before. My whole room smelled like him, his cologne. Call me crazy, but I loved that, the subtle indicator that my space was now our space. On top of that, he looked incredibly sexy tonight in the black dress shirt and black slacks he wore. He’d come home and showered again, lined up his beard, and even used a little product in his hair. Yes… my husband definitely looked hot.

  “I should,” he replied, prompting me to stop lusting after him. “But I already said I’d go.”

  I shrugged. “Suit yourself. You’ll miss all the fun at the symposium,” I said sarcastically, knowing good and well he’d be bored to death if he tagged along. That was actually the exact term Brooklyn used when I told her she had to come with me.

  “There’ll be all sorts of stimulating conversation about art and marketing your handmade goods,” I added, lessening the appeal of the event even more.

  He made a face at me. “I’ll pass. You and Brooklyn have fun with that, though.”

  I grinned and slipped my pink cardigan over my arms.

  “You look really pretty, by the way,” Luke said casually.

  I looked up to find him watching me. “Thanks. You look handsome yourself.”

  He didn’t say anything, just smirked a bit and then straightened his pant leg over his shoe.

  “Last chance,” I said, holding up the flyer for the symposium. “There’s even gonna be finger foods and unlimited coffee to make sure you don’t doze off when all the fun overwhelms you.”

  He laughed. “Uh… have a good time.” We kissed once before he walked out of the bedroom. A moment later I heard the door to my apartment close.

  My car had been fixed for a while now, but Brooklyn still offered to come get me. She pulled up blasting her ratchet music as usual and I hopped in her passenger seat, looking at the purple tank top she wore, the one I ‘loaned’ her a few months ago. She looked cute with her curls piled on her head and just enough makeup to look like she’d put some effort into getting dressed. Next, I eyed her short shorts and she leveled a finger at me, knowing I was about to get on her about them. “Don’t start,” she warned, her stern expression melting into a smile.

  I shook my head at her. With the music too loud to talk over, I just passed her the flyer with the address and map printed on it. To my surprise, Brooklyn slapped the paper out of my hand and burst out laughing. When I shot her a look, she turned the radio down.

  “Girl… I am not about to sit in some stuffy, old seminar on a weekend. I get enough of that boring crap with school.”

  I retrieved the sheet from the floor, still clearly baffled, which made her laugh again. Now I understood why she was dressed down and why she insisted on driving us.

  “Lissy, we’re hanging out tonight, but not there.”

  I frowned. “But I really wanted to go. There were supposed to be some really inspiring speakers there and—”

  The look she gave shut me up. “We’re not going anywhere crazy, so relax. We’re just hanging. Just the two of us.”

  I settled back in my seat and accepted that our plans had officially changed. It’d be nice to hang with her, though. With her school schedule, free time was rare. The summer months were about the only time she wasn’t bogged down with assignments, so I’d miss this event for her.

  The second we turned down Franklin, I knew where we were going, her favorite ice cream shop. I looked at her and smiled, shaking my head.

  “What?” she asked.

  “This is what we’re doing tonight? Instead of you supporting me gaining valuable information that could—”

  “Blah, blah, blah. Yada, yada, yada. Just get out the car, woman,” she demanded when we pulled up.

  Chuckling at how my baby sister was bossing me around, I did as I was told. We stood in line at the small shop’s ordering window. We’d been coming here since we were kids when our dad used to bring us. Brooklyn always had a love for sweets, so she used to ask him to take us here every time we earned a treat.

  She bumped me with her hip while we waited to be helped. “So, how’s married life?” she asked quietly. “Is it as scary as I imagine it is?”

  I laughed. “No. It isn’t scary at all. Honestly? I’m happy. Like, seriously.”

  Brooklyn gave me the side-eye until she realized I was telling the truth. “I’ll take your word for it.”

  My sister was so skeptical about commitment it wasn’t even funny. “Oooh, I can’t wait until some guy comes and just totally messes up your nice, neat little world. I mean, totally annihilates your plans.” I meant that in the nicest way possible.

  Brooklyn had her whole life organized in tidy little compartments, sectioned off by mile markers that she stuck to like glue. First on her list was finishing school, and then she’d be moving on to her career. And let her tell it, having a serious relationship would only complicate that. She was far too closed off to love, but I meant what I said; I couldn’t wait to see what happened when she finally fell for some guy—fell so hard she could hardly function when he wasn’t around. She needed that. One day it would find her.

  “Not gonna happen,” she declared as we took a step closer to the counter. I gave her the eye when she tried to tug down her shorts, as if they’d magically lengthen a few more inches when she did.

  “Famous last words,” I replied.

  Her laugh, which always sounded eerily like my mother’s to me, hit the air. “Don’t get me wrong, I love that you, Aura, and Delia are happy and all, but marriage ain’t for everybody.”

  I laughed. “Who said anything about marriage? I’m just talking about love.”

  She put up a hand. “Hell, that ain’t for everybody either.” I stared at her for a moment as w
e moved ahead to order. She got her usual, vanilla ice cream in a cup with sprinkles and I got a hot fudge sundae. We made our way across the street to the mostly vacant park. The glow of orange streetlights illuminated our surroundings somewhat, making it possible for us to at least see what was in front of us as we found a table.

  I thought again about what Brook said about love not being for everyone and found myself wondering why she was being so negative. She hadn’t had any failed relationships that I knew of, unless she was keeping secrets. She’d had casual encounters with guys, but she never kept them around long. Her personality was strong, the strongest of all my sisters. I wasn’t sure if that was the problem or it she kept men at a distance on purpose. As her big sister, I didn’t hesitate to ask. “What’s up with you? Why you acting like being with somebody is a bad thing?”

  She was shaking her head before I even finished asking. “I knew you weren’t gonna let this go.”

  “Of course I’m not. So just tell me,” I reasoned.

  Brook let out a deep sigh. “There’s nothing going on with me. I’m just busy,” was her excuse.

  “Busy?”

  “Yup, busy.”

  I lowered my spoon and glared at her. “You just finished your Bachelor’s program, you’ve had the whole summer off, so that doesn’t make sense.”

  “Lissy, I’mma answer you ‘cause you’re my sister and I love you, but then we’re dropping it. I’m not about to get all caught up in somebody for the summer and then drop him like a hot biscuit when school starts up. This Master’s program is about to be hell. I just don’t want anything to take my focus away from what I’ve gotta do.” She paused and licked her spoon clean before adding, “K?” with a toothy grin to soften her otherwise harsh tone. While I definitely could’ve pushed for more, I didn’t. If she wanted to dead that portion of the conversation, that was her prerogative. But first, I had one last thing to say. “I don’t think it’d kill you to go on a date with somebody, though. Might do you some good to get out,” I suggested.

  She wasn’t biting. “I’m getting out right now. With you. I don’t need a guy around to be able to go out and do stuff. In fact, I wanted to go to the movies last week, so I took myself.”

  Bringing up the incident at the baby shower a little over a month ago, I shifted the conversation to Matt. “Or… you could call Luke’s brother and see if he has anything going on.”

  Her eyes widened at the mention of Matt. “Oh my gosh, thanks for bringing that up! I forgot all about the fact that I was supposed to beat the hell outta you for that.”

  I laughed and shrugged, remembering how I’d all but thrown her at Matt. Actually… I kinda did do that. “It worked, though. I got you over there. What’d y’all talk about?” I asked.

  She continued to glare at me a moment before a look of mild amusement crossed her face. “What do you think we talked about? We talked about the same stuff any two strangers would’ve talked about: the weather and how the shower was going.”

  I cocked my head to the side and paused from eating. “That was the best you could do?”

  Her eyes widened again. “Lissy, you dragged me over to the guy and then just left me!” She was half yelling and half laughing.

  “Well, he asked to meet you and that was the only way I could make that happen. I knew if I went about it the right way and checked with you first, you would’ve refused.”

  She thought about that for a moment and then nodded when she decided to admit that I was right. Her eyes went to the table as she dipped her spoon in the ice cream again. “He asked to meet me?” she inquired, trying to pretend like she wasn’t intrigued.

  With a smile, I nodded. “Yup.” She was silent, so I went on. “You think he’s cute. I know you do.”

  Brook rolled her eyes. “He’s all right,” she lied. I knew my sister and I knew she was attracted to Matt whether she’d admit it or not.

  “Want me to give him your number?” I asked casually, knowing she’d overreact.

  “What? No! We just went over this. I don’t have time to—”

  “I know, I know. Heard you the first time.” She was too stubborn to crack, so I figured I’d save my energy. However, when I looked up and saw her chewing the side of her lip the same way I do when I’m deep in thought, I wondered if she was really as certain as she’d just declared.

  When she just about whispered, “Let me think about it,” it became clear that, for her to break down and go against the promise she’d made to herself, the attraction had to have been strong.

  “Okay… that’s fine.” She’d taken the bait and I was proud of my accomplishment. If she saw me gloating, she’d retract her statement, though, so I hid my smile behind my spoon when I tasted the sundae again. Still… I saw her softening as a sign that she might not be completely closed to the idea. Maybe there was more of a pull between her and Matt than she let on.

  “So anyway, enough about me. Tell me more about this husband of yours since we met him all of one time before you decided to marry him.”

  She wasn’t being smug, but I still sensed a tone. “Are you planning to hold on to that forever?”

  “I might,” she teased. “But for real, you really feel like you knew him well enough to make such a huge commitment.”

  I didn’t just answer her question on the fly; I gave it serious thought. “I love him and I wouldn’t have done things any differently,” was the first thing that needed to be said, but then I added, “However, there are definitely things you don’t find out about a person until you’ve been together a while. Everybody has a past and it isn’t always easy to just lay it all out there right away, you know?”

  Brooklyn leaned on her fist while eyeing me. “So like, he had secrets?” she asked.

  That wasn’t it. “I didn’t say that. There are just things—”

  “—you don’t find out about a person…blah blah blah… I heard you the first time. That’s not what I asked, though.” She moved into my personal space a bit. “Was he keeping something from you?”

  I exhaled sharply. First, let me say that I love my sisters to death, but I’m a firm believer in keeping your relationship private for the most part, when it comes to dealing with issues, anyway. I didn’t want my family to judge Luke. It was bad enough that we’d gotten married so quickly and threw everyone for a loop; I didn’t want to add to that. But then again, I hadn’t talked about the Cat situation with anyone, not even Aura. She’s already the most emotional of the five of us, but with her hormones being out of whack with the pregnancy and her mild case of postpartum depression, there was no way I was gonna go to her about this. She’d see red even though it wasn’t warranted. So, realizing that I did in fact need to talk to someone, I went ahead and shared my feelings with Brooklyn.

  Her eyes were set on me when I started, a look of genuine concern on her face. “Ok, so, before we discuss this, I want your word that whatever I tell you stays between us. Don’t blab to Mom, or Bean, or Delia, or—”

  She rolled her eyes and cut me off. “Lissy… have I ever told your business before?”

  I thought about that. “Well, no, but—”

  “Then shut up and finish your story. I’m not gonna say anything.”

  Her tone made me laugh, which loosened me up a bit. “All right, so we got to talking one night and I asked him about who his first girlfriend was, just being nosey. However, the answer he gave shocked the hell out of me.”

  Brooklyn cocked her head to the side, clearly intrigued.

  “Remember back in the day, that girl who used to pick on me?”

  She rolled her eyes. “You mean the one you didn’t tell any of us about until she graduated? When it was too late to beat her a—”

  “Yeah, her,” I interjected. “Catarina Radcliff.”

  “Mmm hmm.”

  “Anyway… that’s who his first girlfriend was.”

  Brooklyn made a face and I could tell she was holding her tongue.

  “Just say it,�
�� I blurted with a sigh.

  “Ok, so, while I get that that was a hard time for you,” she paused to dial down her usual blunt tone, knowing that it wasn’t always received well by others. “I guess I’m just making sure you’re not about to tell me you tripped on him about dating some chick you didn’t get along with when you were a kid.”

  I shook my head. “No, it was deeper than that. I mean, yeah she was his first girlfriend, but remember we went to his brother’s wedding last month? A couple days after ours?”

  She nodded.

  “Well, she was there.”

  Now Brooklyn’s facial expression showed the confusion that I expected. “So, wait. Time out. I don’t understand.”

  I shook my head. “Yeah, neither did I. Turns out, she was his first girlfriend, like thirteen years ago. But what’s messed up is, they’d basically been together ever since. Well, up until about a year ago.”

  Her mouth hung open until she realized and closed it. “They were together for thirteen years?”

  “Ten actually. There were breaks in there, but… still,”

  I rested my elbows on the table and watched an elderly couple walk by holding hands. “I mean it wasn’t a big deal, isn’t a big deal, but it definitely came as a shock.”

  “I’ll bet it did! He spent ten years with this chick? And you didn’t know that before you married him?”

  There wasn’t judgment in her tone, but that didn’t stop me from feeling defensive under her gaze. Only I knew the circumstances of our marriage, so I couldn’t have blamed her if she did give me the side-eye on this one. However, she didn’t; just stared while waiting for an answer.

  “No, I didn’t.”

  Brooklyn was silent, resting her chin on her fist again while she watched me. I could practically feel her wanting to continue on in this direction, questioning me about why I didn’t have information like that before walking down the aisle, but she left it alone. “So, if she was at the wedding, does that mean they still hang out or what? I don’t understand.”