In Between

by Beca Lewis

  “They are doing their jobs, just as you do yours. You can call them what you wish. But yes, before you ask, even what we are calling physical beings are not. Think of it as a state of mind that thinks it is physical and has things it has to learn to move on.

  “Some people are more aware of that than others. Some people, like your new friends, can communicate with them. Like Bryan—and now you through him.

  “Which brings us back to what we are doing here. We are helping Connie. She didn’t complete her mission during her physical presence on Earth, and now she has a chance for redemption. And in doing so, she will release others to live out their lives more fully. Like her daughter, Karla.”

  “And you, Eddie,” Rachel said.

  “And me,” Eddie agreed. “If all goes well, that is.”

  Bryan had listened to the exchange between Rachel and Eddie with growing apprehension. From a dishwasher to this?

  Eddie shook his head at Bryan.

  “I know you think being a dishwasher and a spirit guide are worlds apart. And that’s where you and so many of you physical beings get it all wrong. They are not exclusive. Your mission and purpose have nothing to do with what you do. One ‘job’ is not more important than another. But thinking it is blocks people from fulfilling the purpose they have. So you are better off than someone who still believes that their job is the purpose of their life.

  “That’s enough talk. Let me go back to my first question. Are you ready to get to work? Connie has just a brief time until the world turns upside down for her, and I need you to be ready.”

  Forty-Two

  While Theo and Edith went off on their honeymoon, Connie moved to Pittsburgh to start her new job. She saw it as the stepping stone to the career that she envisioned for herself. A future where someday she would own her own company.

  Other than the Warren family, no one else knew her dream, and she understood she had an uphill battle to make it happen. Not because she wasn’t capable. She was. It was because she was a woman, and what women were expected to do was exactly what Edith had done.

  But not Connie. She had accepted the job in Pittsburgh with a large accounting firm because she wanted to learn the basics of business, and Connie figured she might as well get paid for it while she learned.

  Her time with Ralph had prepared her well, so she wasn’t worried about how well she would do at work. She was excited about having her own apartment, meaningful work, and the bustle of a city that was in the process of reinventing itself, just like her. She could relate. Besides, Bill worked in the city too, and she looked forward to spending time with him.

  But this time, as Connie prepared for her new life, she knew what would happen, and none of it would be what she had envisioned. Not one piece of it. So as she walked through this part of her life again, she felt as if she was watching a nightmare unfold.

  The first time around, she was on cloud nine. Every part of her dream was coming true. Ralph and Lorraine had put down the first and last month’s rent on a small but sunny apartment and loaned her enough money to buy a used car.

  She remembered, and tried to re-create, the excitement of being handed the keys to an almost new blue Pontiac LeMans. A salesman had driven it for a few weeks, and Ralph knew the owner of the dealership, so they gave her a deal on the car. She had loved that car. It represented freedom. Loving it again was easy.

  She and Bill shopped for things that would make an enormous difference in her new apartment. Her love of design flared into being, and she decided that the company she would end up running would be about design. It was hard to find the things she wanted to buy at a price she could afford, and that sparked an idea for making inexpensive but well-designed furniture.

  This second time around, she tried to remain excited about the idea again, but she knew that not only would she never do that, but it had been a superb idea and done well by companies like IKEA. Not her. Connie added it to her list of things she regretted not doing.

  Connie tried to keep the conversations with Bill as close to the original ones as possible. Once in a while, she would say something that made Bill look at her with curiosity, and more than once, he asked her if she was feeling all right.

  “Of course! I am just overly excited” she would answer, because at this time in the past, she had been happier with her life than she had ever been.

  Now, in this repeat of the past, she was more afraid than she could ever imagine she would be, because underlying everything she said and did was the grim shadow of knowledge about what was coming. And each day brought it closer.

  She relied on Bryan more and more each day to keep her sane. Bryan no longer checked in only at night. He came to see her at least three times a day. Sometimes more.

  Sometimes she called out to him to help her, but most of the time, her habit of hiding and not asking for help kept her from reaching out, and she would feel a flood of gratitude that Bryan knew she needed him even when she didn’t call.

  As the day she dreaded got closer, Bryan did his best to remind her that she would survive. But Connie’s terror sometimes overwhelmed him, and he would feel helpless himself.

  That’s when Rachel would tug on the lifeline between them and reel him back to her and life in the present. He would ground himself, and then sometimes immediately return to Connie.

  Bryan spent much of his time in the woods, gathering strength from the creatures of the forest. He learned that he could be with Connie and walk at the same time. He wasn’t sure that he could interact with other people, though, so he stayed by himself or with Rachel.

  The more Bryan worked with Connie, the more often he would see other beings that lived in the in-between and the spirit world. He stayed clear of them as much as possible, trying not to bring attention to himself. Not just because he had a job to do and didn’t want to be distracted, but also because Eddie had warned him that just as in the physical dimensions, not everyone was safe to be around.

  But he also witnessed things he would never forget. Like the day he saw a group of Native Americans racing through the woods. Eddie had told him that might happen. He might begin to see overlapping times. It took a few minutes for Bryan to register what was happening.

  Before he figured it out, he had stood there wondering if he should run. Afterward, he couldn’t stop thinking about it. All of this was happening at the same time. How was that possible? Bryan didn’t think he would have an answer to that any time soon. Maybe never.

  Even though Rachel had not cleared it with Eddie, she told Grace and the Monday night group what was going on with Connie. Not everything. Just enough so they knew that she might need their help if she couldn’t reach Bryan on her own.

  She had learned that Ava and Johnny would help with that part, while everyone else would support them. Everyone had their roles to play. For the first time in her life, Rachel felt as if she belonged and doing what she was supposed to do. Or, more accurately, as Grace reminded her, she was living her life as herself.

  Rachel treasured every word Eddie said about what she was. It was as if by helping Connie and Bryan, a light had turned on in her world, and a fire had kindled in her heart. She was sure she would need this newfound sense of self.

  Although she didn’t know exactly what would happen to Connie, she had an inkling what it was. After all, Eddie had said that if she didn’t go through with it, she wouldn’t have Karla. That seemed pretty clear.

  What Rachel didn’t know was who or how bad it would be. All she knew was if she was this afraid of what would happen, and she was this far removed from it, Connie must be living a nightmare.

  Forty-Three

  Edith felt as if her entire world had turned a glorious rosy shade. The honeymoon had been more than she ever dreamed possible. She and Theo had eaten at the best places wherever they went, and they stayed at the best lodgings in every town.

  One tim
e they had stayed at a castle, and Edith decided that she was in a fairy tale. She was the princess and Theo, the charming prince. His name gave it away, Theodore Prince, and now she was Edith Prince.

  When she wrote out her name, she made it Edith Princess. Edith was smart enough to know that it was a silly thing to do. Very childish. But she didn’t care. She was happier than she thought it was possible to be.

  Everywhere they went, Theo charmed everyone. No one could resist him. And she knew that he loved every minute of the attention. But she didn’t worry. His eyes may have roamed over the beautiful women who seemed to flock to him, but his hands and heart were hers. They spent money as if it grew on trees, trees that grew in their own backyard.

  When she asked about how much money they were spending, Theo would laugh and tell her that her happiness was worth every penny they spent, and not to worry her pretty little head about it. There was always more where that came from. By the time the trip was over, Edith had no doubts she had done the right thing by picking Theodore Prince as her husband.

  The only thing that spoiled the trip a tiny bit was their disagreement about seeing her parents after they got home.

  She hadn’t seen them since the wedding, and couldn’t wait to tell them all about the honeymoon. Theo had said he needed to get back to work. Why not go to see them on her own?

  For a brief moment, she felt that Theo didn’t like her parents, and their home was too common for him. But she brushed the idea away. He had to work. He had been away for a month and had never turned his attention away from her.

  Theo’s parents had gifted them with a home close to their house. Virginia had spent the month decorating the new house preparing for her son and his wife’s return. Edith knew that the home was not for her. It was for Virginia. Edith understood that Virginia wanted to keep Theo close, and buying them a home nearby ensured that she would always be close to her son.

  As for decorating it, Edith knew that Virginia thought Edith didn’t have enough training to do it properly. Appearances meant everything to Virginia Prince, and she would not let Edith mar their social standing.

  It disappointed Edith. She had looked forward to designing the inside of her home since she had no say in the house’s actual purchase. She had hoped that at least she could make the inside reflect her taste.

  She tried only one time to explain to Theo how she felt and then let it go. She hated the angry look he had given her, quickly replaced by a kiss on her forehead and a hug to comfort her.

  “It will be lovely, and you’ll love it. You’ll see,” he had said with his arms wrapped around her. And she let it go, telling herself that it wasn’t all that important.

  Her disappointment eased when Theo also suggested she ask Connie to go with her to visit her parents, while his mother finished up with their dining room, the only place left in the house where Virginia’s taste had not yet been imposed. When Edith first asked, Connie had hesitated, but hearing that they would go alone, said she would love to, and she could drive them in her new car.

  As they made the drive from Pittsburgh to Doveland, they laughed and giggled the whole way, and Connie allowed herself to delight in the past, and not think about what was coming.

  Bryan, checking in on Connie, didn’t bother saying hello. He didn’t want to remind Connie why she was there and what she had to do. It would come soon enough. Instead, he silently bowed to her and slipped away. Connie was only vaguely aware that he had been there.

  As they pulled into Lorraine and Ralph’s driveway, Lorraine came running out the door to sweep Edith into her arms. Ralph was right behind her, so Lorraine released Edith to him and then reached out and hugged Connie in the same kind of mother hug.

  It took all of Connie’s inner strength not to cry. Even now, all these years later, she missed Lorraine’s hugs. By the time Ralph put his arms around Edith and Connie as he ushered them into the house, calling them “my girls,” Connie had recovered.

  It didn’t take Lorraine long to see what Connie had not seen. Now, Connie wondered how she could have missed it. Edith was glowing. Lorraine stood in the kitchen, her hands on her hips, and watched Edith take a wine bottle out of the refrigerator, and said, “No. You can’t have that.”

  Edith, who had been having wine with her lunch every day with Theo and had never heard quite that tone in her mother’s voice before, stood in the open door of the refrigerator, wine bottle in hand, and stared at her mother. Lorraine wasn’t frowning. She was smiling. Clapping her hands together, Lorraine said, “Oh my gosh, I am so happy, my darling. You’re pregnant.”

  Connie almost reached out to catch the wine bottle as it fell toward the floor, but instead acted just as she had done the first time. Hands to mouth, she stared at Lorraine sweeping her daughter up into her arms, gracefully stepping around the spilled wine and broken bottle.

  Lorraine’s intuition proved to be correct. A quick visit to Edith’s doctor confirmed it.

  Later, as Connie and Edith lay in the twin beds in Connie’s old room, Connie listened to Edith tell story after story about their fairy tale honeymoon. It was like old times. Connie listening, Edith talking. Connie allowed herself to enjoy it the same way she had enjoyed it the first time.

  But even then, even though Edith had no idea about what was coming, they both knew that now that a baby was on the way, nothing would ever be the same again.

  But it was only Connie who knew how true that would be. Neither one of them would ever be this happy again.

  And it would all be Theodore Prince’s fault.

  Forty-Four

  As Connie drove Edith back into the city, she struggled to keep her actions and thoughts the same as they had been the first time. Edith bounced back and forth from being ecstatic that she was pregnant and worried about what Theo would say.

  Connie could tell her truthfully that Theo would be delighted—because he was. At first. Having children was one of the primary reasons why he had married. He needed an heir. He needed a family. Even then, Connie had suspected that was a front. Now she knew exactly what he had been doing.

  Since the first time around, she hadn’t known—she had only suspected—it was easy to assure Connie that a baby was what Theo wanted. Before leaving Doveland, Edith had called Theo and told him they were on the way home, and she had a surprise for him. He told her he couldn’t wait to see it.

  Edith had laughed, and then after hanging up, whispered to Connie that it would be eight months before he could see it.

  Connie nodded, thinking, yes, eight long months. But at that moment, it had been a light-hearted exchange between two friends.

  That morning around the kitchen table, they had giggled together and then had one of Lorraine’s famous pancake breakfasts. Lorraine and Ralph beamed at everything that Edith said. Edith was giving them a grandchild.

  “What could be more glorious than a new child coming into our family,” they had said, hugging the two of them goodbye.

  Both girls promised they would visit again soon. Only one of them knew she wouldn’t come back.

  Edith insisted that Connie come into the house while she told Theo. She wanted Connie to share the moment with her.

  Connie knew that Edith would keep that memory locked up inside her for the rest of her life. Taking it out from time to time to look at it, treasure it, and then ask herself, “What did I do wrong?”

  Seeing Theo, and remembering the pain he caused, Connie wanted to reach out and slap him across the face, throw him to the ground, and stomp on him. Not that she physically could have done that. It was what she wanted to do. Instead, she had clapped and laughed as Edith told Theo.

  She watched Theo even more closely than she had last time. She saw the flash of anger at the news, and then it changed to the perfect expression of happiness at hearing he would be a father. He hugged Edith, lifting her and turning with her around and around, tel
ling her how happy he was.

  Connie braced herself, knowing what would come next. Theo hugged her too and then holding her by the shoulders suggested that she stay the night, and they could continue to celebrate. It took all of Connie’s self-control to nod with a smile on her face and say that it would delight her to stay.

  Although parts of the house were still being worked on, the guest room was ready. Edith walked Connie upstairs with her things and opened the door to the room with a flourish.

  “I asked to have it done in your favorite colors,” Edith said. “I wanted it to be a surprise for you. It’s your room. You can come and stay anytime. Theo loved the idea too. He said you’re like a sister to him.”

  Connie had laughed then as she laughed now. The room was beautiful, shades of blue, with accents of lavender and white. She had sighed with happiness the first time she saw it. She had thought yes, perhaps she could spend some happy hours here with Edith and Theo. She could learn to like him, if only for Edith and the new baby’s sake.

  If Theo had not been who he was, or at least not brought it into his own home, perhaps life could have developed that way.

  Mentally, Connie shook her head. She already knew the terrible thing that would happen. She had lived through it before. She could do it again.

  Before going to dinner, Connie sat on the blue and white plaid chair by the window that overlooked the most manicured garden she had ever seen and called Bryan. He answered right away. When she could feel his presence, she asked him to be present physically too.

  Bryan had done that a few times, but he was still learning the skill, so although he appeared in front of her, she had to look closely to see him.

  “What do you need?” Bryan asked.

  “I don’t know,” Connie answered. “What can you do? I have to let this happen. But if I know that you and Rachel are with me, it might be easier. But I am also embarrassed. How can I ask this of you?”