by Natalie Ann
The first step toward that was patching things up with Celeste, though. If there was anything left to even patch up at this point. Not that he was anywhere near ready to have a conversation in regards to starting a family with Celeste, but if he couldn’t figure out how to fix what they did have, there might be no hope for him ever.
She was way too forgiving, and he considered himself lucky on that front. Anyone else would have kicked his butt to the curb. Part of the reason he hadn’t been in too many relationships, he knew. Not many put up with his ways, but he was trying to change that.
He figured she’d be up baking by now, and really couldn’t wait to talk to her. It was wrong to show up this early, but he had the itch to do it now. Correction—the courage to do it now.
Believe in yourself, she’d said. He needed to talk to her now or he’d lose that little bit of belief he’d convinced himself of during the night.
A few minutes later, he knocked on her backdoor. He was going to go to her cabin first, but he noticed her in the kitchen of the B&B.
“Caleb,” she said, surprised. She wiped her hands on her apron. “What are you doing here so early? It’s not even seven.”
“Sorry. I probably shouldn’t have come. Or I should have at least called you first.”
She walked forward and gave him a hug, then a kiss on the cheek. Just like his mother did to his father at the end of a work day. He never realized how something that simple could feel so good.
“No, that’s fine. What’s wrong? Where’s Sparky? Is he okay?”
“I left him home. He wasn’t happy, but I didn’t want the distraction or to worry about him barking so early in the morning.”
“Okay,” she said, looking unsure. “Sit. Let me get you a cup of coffee. Would you like something to eat? I’ve got muffins made already and I’m mixing pancake batter right now.”
“No,” he said, grabbing her hand and pulling her to the chair at her kitchen table. He sat next to her and said, “I just need five minutes of your time. Nothing else. Don’t wait on me, don’t do anything but listen. I just want to talk.”
Her lips quirked a bit. “Go ahead and talk then. I’m not about to stop you when you’re willing to do it.”
He wanted to laugh, but was afraid it would sidetrack him and he had this rehearsed in his head…somewhat. “I’m not good enough for you,” he said.
“You came here to break up with me?” she asked, crossing her arms and narrowing her eyes.
“No,” he rushed out to say. “I’m just saying I messed up. I’m not perfect.”
She laughed. “No newsflash there. Then again, no one is perfect.”
“You’re closer to it than anyone I’ve ever met.”
“Don’t put me on that pedestal, Caleb. I can’t live up to it and don’t want to. We all have our faults, some more than others, but they’re still there. But go on, keep talking.”
“I’m going to mess up again. It’s inevitable. But I expect you to call me out on it when I do.”
“Oh, don’t worry about that.” She reached her hand over and lay it on top of his on the table. “I’ll make mistakes too, and you should point them out to me.”
“I’m sure it won’t happen often.”
“There is no keeping score here. Not in any relationship.”
“That’s the problem. I haven’t been in many. And those that I was in, they didn’t last long. I always messed up somehow, someway. I work too much, I don’t pay attention, I’m selfish, and I’m cold. I don’t communicate enough. I don’t know. I’ve been told it all.”
Her face softened, and she stood up and walked over and sat in his lap. “Bet you were never told you sucked in bed.”
She just had a way about her to lighten any room, any mood. Brighten any day. He knew beyond a doubt he needed her in his life and he’d do anything not to lose what he had.
“No, I’ve never been told that.”
“Here’s the deal, Caleb. I don’t know if you work a lot or not, since we aren’t in each other’s pocket all the time. And I’ve been accused of working too much myself, so we can throw that one out the window. It can apply to us both.”
“You do work too much,” he said, and she pinched his arm. “Ouch.”
“It’s not as much work as you think. Someday you’ll realize that. It’s just like playing house. I did that a lot as a child.”
“If you say so,” he said, not convinced, but not wanting to argue either. She sure had some fast fingers.
“I’m not so sure you don’t pay attention to things, either. I haven’t noticed that at all. I’d never call you selfish, and we know you aren’t cold. Grouchy, sure. A loner, absolutely. But not cold. People who are cold tend to be mean. I don’t think you have a mean bone in your body.”
“You’re giving me too much credit.”
“You don’t give yourself enough credit,” she said, and then stood up. He was already missing her softness against his body, and wanted to pull her back. “Here’s the deal, Caleb. We’re still getting to know each other. We both have baggage and damage, so to speak—two strong-minded, willful people that run high on emotions.”
“I don’t think anyone would say I run high on emotions.”
“Sure you do. That’s what this is about. Your emotions are high and not cared for properly. You never nurture yourself. That’s why you do what you do. Until you can figure out how to deal with not only the good but also the bad, you’re going to struggle.”
“Not everyone can handle it with as much grace as you. Not everyone can turn something tragic around to something positive.”
“Who says I’ve done that? All I’ve done is give back. It’s karma, nothing more. We get out what we put into this world and vice versa. I’m willing to bet you’ve put a lot into this world, but just don’t tell anyone.”
He wasn’t sure how to feel about the fact that she pegged him so well.
“It doesn’t matter.”
“Sure it does. It matters that neither one of us is perfect. That the two of us are more alike than we want to admit, and that we both want to help the other. That we both want to give this a chance and make it work. Is that what you came here to say this morning?”
“Yeah, it is.”
“And you’re thrilled that I knew that and ended up doing most of the talking anyway.”
“You know me well.”
“Better than you feel comfortable with,” she said, hitting it right on target.
“That too.”
She leaned down and gave him a kiss on the lips, lingered there a bit longer, and made him wish there weren’t guests in her house.
“I’d ask if you’d want to stay for breakfast, but I know the answer to that.” She walked over to the counter and pulled two muffins out of a basket that still had steam coming from it. “So I’m going to give you breakfast to go and if you don’t get too caught up in work, maybe you and Sparky would like to come to lunch today. I haven’t had an opportunity to cook for you yet.”
There she was, caring for him again. “I had dinner here one night.”
“You did, but that was dinner for my guests. I’d like to cook for you. Nothing big, or fancy, but I’ve got a hankering to have a nice meal with my two men. It’s just that the meal will have to be at noontime. Will that work for you?”
“You work for me,” he said, leaning in and kissing her fast, then snatching the muffins out of her hand. “Let’s see if they’re just as good as your cookies.”
“That working thing you just mentioned—me working for you? It goes both ways.”
Fishing
After lunch Caleb, bribed Sparky and headed home. Yeah, Celeste could cook like an angel.
That old saying: the way to a man’s heart was through his stomach…it could hold true, he was thinking. That is, if he had enough of his heart to hand out.
But right now he was content to go home and lie in his hammock to sleep off the amount of food he’d just consumed. Even Sparky wa
s looking a little stuffed, between the tiny pieces of burger Celeste snuck him, the homemade roll Sparky snatched when he thought no one was looking, and the tiny bowl of homemade vanilla ice cream she’d served them both.
Pulling into his driveway, he saw a car sitting there. What the heck?
He parked his truck next to the car and looked inside of it. Nothing there to give any indication of who was on his property. Who walked by his No Trespassing signs.
Moving around toward the back of the house, he noticed two figures on the dock, tensed, and swore. That only caused Sparky to growl low and mean.
“Relax, boy, its fine. They’re harmless.” Harmless physically, but not mentally. The two figures turned and started walking off the dock toward him. “What are you doing here, Mom?”
“I thought you were the smart one in the family,” she said.
He snorted. His mother always busted his butt over his IQ. “It’s good to see you,” he said, hesitantly.
“You don’t lie very well either. Never did learn how to do it as well as Corrine.” She shook her head and walked closer to him, leaned up, and gave him a hug and then a kiss. “If you’d answered your phone yesterday or any of my text messages, then maybe I wouldn’t have felt the need to fly here and see if you were okay.”
This was why he never gave his address to his parents before. “As you can see, I’m just fine.”
“Don’t get short with your mother,” his father said. Then his father stopped and looked him over. “He looks fine to me, Connie.”
“Just what I need, Charlie, you siding with him. You never did before.”
He watched his parents eying each other back and forth. His father was always grouchy, a trait Caleb obviously inherited; his mother never pulled any punches. But neither of them ever disagreed over their children.
“This place is different from the condos you’ve lived in before,” his father said, looking around.
“That was the point,” Caleb said. He wasn’t sure what to make of their visit. Well, that wasn’t true. He knew why they were here; he just wished they hadn’t come all this way for nothing. “Are you staying long?”
His mother laughed. “Here’s your hat, what’s your hurry?”
That only forced a grunt from him. “Since you’re here, let’s go inside.” His mother was a lot like Celeste; there was no out-talking her if her mind was set. She was wiser than most gave her credit for.
Sneaky was probably a better word. When he wasn’t looking, his mother would sneak right up on him and get to the heart of the matter.
His father stopped and put his hand out to Sparky, who hadn’t left his side or moved a muscle. “Nice looking dog.”
“He is. Keeps me sane when I need it,” Caleb said, and for the life of him couldn’t figure out why he just admitted that. He was beginning to suspect Celeste was slowly changing more in his life than he ever imagined.
“How’s the fishing here?” his father asked.
“It’s good. I’ve got some poles in the shed if you want to give it a try.”
“You two can fish tomorrow,” his mother said. “Let me see your home, Caleb, and you can get us settled.”
Great…tomorrow. Guess they were staying at his place, too.
***
Celeste was outside raking leaves when she heard a bark and looked up. She was shocked to see a woman walking with Sparky, though.
There was a warm smile on the older woman’s face, and an odd familiarity. “Hello.”
“Are you Celeste?”
“I am,” she said, squatting down and giving Sparky his usual hello head rub.
“I’m Connie Mitchell.”
“Oh. Caleb’s mom.” Hmm, Caleb hadn’t said a word about his parents visiting while he was at lunch yesterday. Then again, maybe he didn’t know.
“Yes. We decided to surprise him with a visit.”
“I bet he was thrilled to see you.”
“Oh sweetie, you lie about as well as Caleb does,” Connie said, laughing.
“Is everything okay with Caleb?” Celeste couldn’t imagine what would prompt this visit. She was pretty sure Caleb wouldn’t have told his mother about her, but maybe she was wrong.
“He’s just fine. He’s fishing with his father right now, so I took the opportunity to go for a walk.”
“And you followed Sparky here?”
“Well, actually I asked Sparky to bring me to you and, well…here I am.”
“So Caleb has mentioned my name?” she said tentatively. She wasn’t sure how much she should say right now. They hadn’t had many talks about family. They were just brushing on the topic of a real relationship.
“He has. Not much more than that, I’m afraid. Since my son is showing signs of healing, I’m thinking you’re part of it. I’d like to thank you.”
“Please come in. Would you like some coffee, tea, or hot cider?”
“I’d love a cup of hot cider,” Connie said, following her in the back door.
“Let me just grab a treat for Sparky. He normally lies under the tree after I give him one.” Once that was out of the way, she went about serving Connie, getting her drink and placing scones on a tray.
“No need to fuss. I don’t mean to take time away from your work. I’m assuming this place is yours?”
So Caleb hadn’t said much about her. “Yes.” She held her hand out to Caleb’s mother. “I’ll make a formal introduction. I’m Celeste McGuire and this is my bed and breakfast.”
“Connie Mitchell, and my husband, Charlie, and I decided to make sure Caleb was still his grouchy old self.”
Celeste let out a snort and sat down next to Connie at the table. “I’m sure you found he was. What would you like to know about me?”
“Oh dear, I really like you. Caleb is like a sealed vault. I can’t get an answer out of him with dynamite. How do you put up with it?”
She really liked Caleb’s mom, but had to be careful here. Bonding might not be the best thing to do right now. “It’s not so hard. I just let him have his space. He comes around when he’s ready.”
“If you’ve got time, I’d like to chat with you a bit about him.”
“I’ve got time. I’m not sure what to talk about. I feel kind of awkward and slightly uncomfortable about this. I’m assuming he doesn’t know you’re here.”
“Nope. No clue. How long do you think it will be before he realizes Sparky is gone and comes looking for him?”
“It depends on how much he likes fishing.” She hadn’t known he had that hobby.
“We might have about thirty minutes then for me to do a bit of my own fishing,” Connie said, winking.
“I bet he is kicking himself for not answering your call two days ago.”
“So you know?” Connie asked.
“About Adam? Yes, he told me a few days ago. Actually he told me a little over a week ago about losing his son, but nothing else. I remembered the date on his tattoo and decided to pay him a visit on that day.”
“How was he?”
Celeste could see the concern on Connie’s face, reminding her of those worried eyes from her childhood as her parents looked after her…as her parents watched her when they didn’t think she knew.
“Hanging on. I didn’t stay long, but long enough for him to explain about Adam, how he died, and that it’s been six years. He’s still struggling so much, but I have a better understanding of it now.”
“Do you? How is that?”
“Let’s say I have a history with grieving.” She didn’t feel it was the time to go into her history. This wasn’t about her, but about Caleb.
“Caleb was always a loner as a child.”
“He’s said as much to me before. Why is that?”
“How much do you know about him and his childhood?” Connie asked. “Never mind, stupid question. I’m sure you don’t know much.”
“I know he grew up in Ohio and then went to college in California. That he started college fairly young.”
“I’ve got to imagine he grew up faster than he wanted to.”
“He did. He never had close friends in school, or had a lot of relationships. He didn’t have a ton in common with those around him. Most were running around playing sports; he was tinkering with things that his father and I couldn’t even understand. Kids didn’t necessarily want to be his friend, but they wanted other things from him.”
“So he was used often for his brains?” Somehow Celeste wasn’t surprised to hear that.
“That was part of it. College was no different. He stood out, being so young, being so smart, but he was never naive. We made sure of that. He knew what was going on around him, and allowed it to happen, hoping that he could control the situations. Most of the time he did.”
“I don’t understand that.”
“He knew most people only wanted something from him, so he used it to his advantage. He made sure he got something out of it, too. They weren’t very healthy friendships or relationships. We didn’t condone it at all. I’m glad we made him aware of things, but at times I wished he could have been a bit ignorant of it, too. Part of me wanted to protect him from the world, but the other part knew I had to give him the tools to survive. I often wondered if he was forced into growing up even faster than he was.”
“It’s never smart to be in the dark about anything. Knowledge is the key to progress.”
She knew that firsthand. The more she could find out about her illnesses, the better she could prepare. It also opened up a world to her on an emotional level, being sick. Those that might have been friends with her because they felt sorry for her. She learned to decipher the difference early on in life and she bet Caleb learned that the hard way.
“Very wise. And thank you for trying to take away any guilt I’ve felt over how we handled Caleb as a child.”