by Grace James
“There’s a secret archway.”
“…where?”
“You need to take two steps to your right,” I said. After a moment, I heard him do as I asked. “Okay, good, now take four steps to your left.” There was a longer hesitation that time, but he still did it. “Right, now hop back to your right three times.” I heard him chuckle, but from the sound of it he still did it. I started laughing as I gave my next command. “Great, now do two pirouettes.”
“Hell no. I’m done!” He laughed. “How do I get back there?”
“Follow the path along to your right all the way to the fence and there’s an archway that’ll lead you through.”
A few moments later I saw him appear at the other side of the pond. “There you are,” he said as he walked over to me and leant one shoulder against the fence just next to me, so that he was facing me.
“Here I am, and despite appearances, I’m not actually hiding. I just like it here.”
He glanced at the pond and the colorful flowers around it. “Yeah, I can see why. It’s peaceful.” He looked back at me. “You okay?”
“Did Connor send you out here?” I asked.
“Fuck no. Are you kidding?”
I thought for a second. No, Connor would never send Blake to see if I was okay. “I guess that was a stupid question.”
“Did he upset you?” Blake said quietly.
“No, actually.”
“Are you sure?” He leant closer and whispered conspiratorially, “You want me to kick his ass?”
I snorted a laugh. “No. I think I’m good.”
“Really?”
“Really.”
“Damn, I was looking forward to going all Axl Rose on his ass.”
“Does that make him Slash?”
“Ha! Okay, forget that. I was looking forward to going all Noel Gallagher on his ass.”
“You wouldn’t want to be Liam in this hypothetical fight?”
He snorted contemptuously. “Nah, Noel’s the one with all the talent, Liam was only in the band ‘cause their mom made Noel let him join to keep him out of trouble.”
I laughed. “That actually fits.”
“I know, right?”
“Thanks for the offer though,” I said with mock solemnity. “No one’s ever offered to kick someone’s ass for me before and you’ve done it twice.”
He frowned but he was smiling too. “I have?”
“Yeah, don’t you remember that night at Filthy Joe’s?”
“Oh, yeah…that’s just not what really sticks in my head about that night.”
I winced as I remembered what he had told me that night – about his dad showing up, about what happened to his mom. “Sorry, I shouldn’t have brought it up.”
He frowned. “What? Why?”
“That was the night your dad showed up wasn’t it?”
“Yeah, I guess, but that’s not what I meant either.”
I was confused. “Then what did you mean?”
He looked me dead in the eye. “You. That’s what I remember about that night. Just you – how much I wanted to kill those guys who were bothering you, and then when we were out back together…I told you things I’ve never told anyone. That’s when I knew I was fucked.”
“What do you mean?” I whispered.
“You really have no idea?”
“I…I don’t know.” I looked down, allowing my hair to fall in a curtain around my face.
“Don’t do that,” he said softly. “Don’t hide from me.” He brushed my hair over my shoulder, grazing my neck lightly with his knuckle as he did so. Just that tiny touch sent a tingle through me. “Look at me.” He commanded.
I bit my lip uncertainly as I did as he asked.
“Okay Princess, I’m gonna be completely honest with you now,” his blue eyes were deep, dark pools of intensity. The moonlight highlighted his brow and skimmed along his chiseled jaw. “I’ve wanted you since the first second I saw you. You were at my house, remember? At that party where we played in the backyard?”
I nodded wordlessly; I felt like my heart was going to explode.
“You looked like you’d walked into the wrong party. You were wearing this white blouse thingy, looking all preppy and shit.” He paused, smirking at me. “All I wanted to do was rip that fucking shirt off of you.”
My eyes bugged out. “But – but you were so rude to me!”
“Self preservation, Princess. You were with my cousin.” He shook his head slightly. “But that night out back of Filthy’s? That was when I knew.”
I stared at him. The way he was looking at me, like I was all there was worth seeing in the world, made me ache to reach out and touch him, to feel the brush of his lips on mine. My God, I wanted him so much, more than I could ever remember wanting anything.
But at the same time, the way that I felt about him was all tangled up with feelings of guilt.
“Knew what?” My voice was barely more than a breath.
“That I couldn’t fight it forever,” he whispered, right before he kissed me.
80
He lowered his head slowly, maybe giving me time to stop him if I wanted. But I didn’t. I let him kiss me.
He held my eyes right until the last second.
When his lips finally met mine, his eyes drifted shut as he kissed me so softly and gently that it was like the barest whisper; his lips only just brushing across mine. It was the most innocent kiss of my life…and yet somehow the most exciting. It was the complete opposite of what I would have expected from him.
He pulled back maybe an inch and opened his eyes, brushing his knuckles against my cheek and then bringing his palm and rough fingers to rest lightly on the side of my neck, the tip of his thumb skimming along my jaw, tilting my head up so that my mouth met his fully when he kissed me again.
This time he kissed me just a tiny bit harder, pressing his full, warm lips against mine completely. He lightly teased his tongue against the seam of my mouth, seeking entry. I opened to him and his tongue caressed mine unhurriedly, like he was savoring the taste of me.
His taste – mint, sin, a hint of beer – and his spicy, musky scent overwhelmed my senses, combining with his kiss, making my heart pound in my chest and sending tingles through my body. Moaning breathily, I reached for him. He moved so that he was in front of me, pressing me against the fence as I put my hands to his waist and slid them around to his back, bunching them in his shirt.
A rumbling groan escaped him and he deepened the kiss further this time, increasing the intensity. I pulled him tight against me as I melted against his huge, hard body and basked in the feel of him against my softer curves.
Then I felt something else, firm but not yet rock solid, growing in his jeans. I could tell, even from that limited contact, that it was big. Really big. The feel of him lengthening and hardening against my stomach nearly drove me wild.
Abruptly, our tryst was shattered with the sound of the back door opening followed by Hayley’s voice. “Amy? Amy, are you out here?”
I jerked my head back, breaking our kiss and banging my head against the fence simultaneously. I released my hold on Blake’s shirt, pushed one hand against his chest and covered his mouth with the other. “Shit!” I whispered frantically.
His eyes flared briefly with something I couldn’t quite identify – maybe frustration – and his large hand curled around my wrist, pulling my hand away from his mouth firmly but gently. He moved his head to my neck and whispered into my ear. “Relax, Princess, I’m not gonna blow your cover.” The feel of his breath against my neck and ear made me shiver. In a good way. A really good way.
“She’s not here,” Hayley said.
“Maybe she went home then, honey.”
I recognized that as Dawn’s voice.
“Yeah, maybe. I just hope Connor didn’t upset her.”
The sound of the door closing echoed across the yard.
My hand was still against Blake’s chest. “I need to go home,” I sai
d, shakily as I pushed against him, trying to gently free myself from his embrace.
At first he didn’t budge, but then slowly, reluctantly, he backed up a step. “Okay,” he said calmly, like No big deal, like we hadn’t just been locked in the most incredible kiss of my life.
“…okay?”
He smiled grimly. “You go first, I’ll give it five and then I’ll go back inside. If anyone asks, I haven’t seen you.”
I hated the thought of cheapening what had just happened between us with lies and secrets, but at the same time, the thought of Connor finding out about our kiss filled me with shame. I mean, we’d only been broken up a couple of weeks and here I was, making out with his cousin just a few dozen yards away from where he stood.
I stared at Blake for a moment before I spoke. “…yeah, I think that’s for the best.”
He nodded wordlessly; I could see that his jaw was clenched tight and his shoulders were tense. I wanted so desperately to reach for him again – but I stopped myself.
I slipped out from between him and the fence and walked towards the archway that led back to the main part of the garden. Seeing that there was no one else in the garden, I quickly jogged along the pathway to the side gate and let myself out, so that I didn’t have to go back through the party.
81
When I got to my car I texted Mel and Hayley to tell them that I was going home but told them not to worry, I stressed the point that Connor wasn’t the reason I’d left – I blamed it on the fact that finals were less than two weeks away and said that I needed to study tomorrow. It was true, I did need to study…but obviously it wasn’t the whole truth.
As I drove home from the party, I nearly hit an SUV at a stop light because all I could think about was kissing Blake. I could still taste him. His scent was still lingering around me.
And down there?
Well, let’s just say I had never been more sexually frustrated in my entire life.
Even after I got home and washed, brushed my teeth, changed into my pajamas and got into bed, my heart was still beating double time. It was like how I imagined being hooked up to an IV full of adrenaline would feel. I couldn’t sleep; every time I closed my eyes I saw his face, felt his warm breath against my lips. I laid awake for hours, reliving the kiss, running his words through my head, berating myself for kissing him…and then reliving the kiss again.
I heard Mel get in from the party, and creep to her room, and still I laid awake. The light of dawn was starting to filter through the drapes before I finally managed to doze off. Even then I only managed to sleep for a few hours before my busy mind woke me up to start the obsessing all over again.
I finally gave up on sleep around 8AM and headed into the kitchen to make myself a coffee. I heard Mel’s alarm clock blearing as I poured the hot water into my cup, and took another cup out of the cupboard so that I could fix her a drink too. I heard movement behind me and turned to see Mel, looking a little like an extra on The Walking Dead.
I held her coffee out to her. “Did you have fun last night?” I grinned.
“A little too much,” she admitted, taking the cup from me. She took a sip and then looked at me closely. “I know why I look like crap, but why do you look like crap?”
“Gee, thanks,” I said sarcastically, but I was smiling. “You really have no filter when you’re hung over.”
“I’m just saying, you look tired – wait, you weren’t up all night pining over him were you?”
I almost asked who she meant, but I managed to stop myself just in time, and just shook my head.
“Because, and believe me when I say this, he does NOT deserve it, okay?”
“…okay.”
She nodded angrily. “Good.”
“Mel, did something happen after I left?”
She looked intensely troubled. “I don’t know, I was pretty drunk, but…”
“But?” I prompted.
“I don’t want to upset you.”
“You won’t,” I said firmly.
She looked into her coffee and took another sip. “Connor left with some girls,” she muttered.
“Oh…”
It wasn’t actually painful to hear; this is probably going to sound incredibly unfair and egotistical given what I had ended up doing at the party – but it was more like my pride was a little wounded at the thought of him moving on so quickly, not my actual feelings.
“But I’m not saying anything happened between them,” she quickly continued. “I mean, he wasn’t all over them or anything, I don’t think I even saw him touch them, like, there wasn’t even any hand holding or anything – they just left together is all. It was probably completely innocent.”
“Was it just Connor?”
“Was what just Connor?”
“Was it just Connor and the girls, or were the other guys with them too?”
“Oh, just Connor. Derren stayed with Hayley. Blake and Kane got a cab with me.”
I breathed an audible sigh of relief.
“Amy? Are you sure you’re okay?”
I smiled reassuringly at her. “Yes, Mel, I really am.”
She studied me for a few seconds. “I believe you,” she said eventually. “Which is why I’m going to get dressed and drag my ass to the library – finals suck.”
I resolved to spend the day studying at home, so I ate breakfast while Mel got ready to go, then after she left I took a long, hot shower, hoping it would clear my preoccupied mind.
It didn’t work.
I was standing in my bedroom, wearing just my underwear, towel drying my hair when the sound of someone knocking at the front door pulled me out of my reverie.
I stuck my head out of my bedroom door and shouted across the living room, “Who is it?” Just betting my ass it was the postman with a package for next door, I didn’t know what they were doing in there, but they were constantly getting weird shaped deliveries.
“Just me, Princess.” Blake’s rumbling voice sounded through the door.
I froze. “Uh, what are you doing here?” I squeaked.
“Were you expecting someone else?” There was a hint of amusement in his voice.
“No – but…why are you here?”
“Why don’t you let me in and find out?”
“Um, just give me a minute.”
“Wait…are you naked?!”
“NO! Shut up! I have neighbors you know!”
That was like a red rag to a bull; his voice got instantly louder. “You ARE naked aren’t you? I knew you were expecting me –”
“YOU ASSHOLE!” I shouted as I grabbed my robe from the back of my bedroom door and put it on quickly, tying the belt tightly around me as I ran through the living room.
“Are you going to let me in now? Or do I need to start shouting about how we made –”
I flung the apartment door open. “You are unbelievable!” I fumed.
Blake just threw his head back and laughed.
I jabbed a finger at him. “Shut up!” I hissed. “Get in here.”
He only laughed harder and pretty much shouted “Finally!” before he strolled past me.
Flustered, I practically slammed the door behind him and then turned and glared at him for a few seconds, but his laughter was infectious and before long I couldn’t help giggling.
“What are you doing this weekend?” he asked.
The question took me by surprise. “Um, studying…why?”
“For finals, right?”
“Yeah.”
“When are they? Next week?”
“No, the week after.”
“So you don’t have any next week?”
I frowned and smiled simultaneously. “No…why?”
“I want you to come away with me for the weekend.”
I stared at him in shock. “You – I – what?”
He grinned. “Come away with me this weekend. We can leave now, well, when you’ve packed your shit, and we’ll be back tomorrow night.”
If I
said that wasn’t the most tempting offer I ever had I would be lying, but immediately alarm bells started ringing. Going away for the weekend with Blake obviously meant an overnight stay somewhere. Me and Blake. Overnight. Together. Holy shit. I may have panicked a little. “Blake, I – we – we can’t – I can’t just go away with you!” I stammered.
“Why not?”
“Because I should be studying!”
“You have all next week to study, and if you really need to, bring some flashcards or whatever with you, and I’ll help.”
I shook my head. “I can’t go away with you.”
“Why not? And don’t say ‘studying’ again.”
“Because…where would we even go anyway?”
“My family owns this little cabin in the mountains near Charleston Peak that I’ve been going to since I was a kid. I go up there whenever I need to get out of the city for a couple days. I think you’d love it.”
“That does sound nice,” I admitted.
He nodded. “It is. So what do you say?”
I hesitated. “I just don’t think you and I going away together is a good idea.”
“In case I pounce on you and try to get you to have freaky sex?” he said, grinning.
YES!
“No! That’s not what I meant!”
He raised his eyebrows, like Please, I can see straight through you. “Really?”
“No.”
“Then why not?”
He had me there. I bit my lip and looked at the floor.
Blake stepped forward and for a second I thought that he was going to reach out and touch me, take my hands or something – but he didn’t.
“Look at me, Princess,” he commanded quietly.
Unable to resist, my eyes found his, and I was instantly mesmerized by their blueness and the tenderness that I could see in their depths. Yeah, Blake Maxwell and tenderness – welcome to An Alternate Reality.
“I’m going either way, but I want you to come with me. There’s something between us, even if you don’t want to admit it. I understand why that makes you uncomfortable. I really do. I get it, believe me. I know it’s not an ideal situation. But it is what it is. I feel what I feel. And I know you feel something too. You wouldn’t have let me kiss you otherwise –”