Sunrise Kisses

by Krista Lakes

  I didn't know why he would want me. Just that he did.

  And for now, that was enough.

  Chapter 21

  I'm sorry, baby. I was an idiot. I love you. Don't be like this. Please call me.

  Delete email.

  I stared at my laptop screen. Whatever Chad and I had once had, it wasn't love. I could see that now. I had been in love, but looking back I didn't think he had been. He had wanted something from me, and I hadn't been able to give it to him.

  I sighed and changed tabs to check my myFace.

  Chad Malin lists you as in a relationship. Do you accept?

  No. Delete. Again.

  I scrolled through my news feed, seeing pictures of friend's babies and puppies and the occasional funny cartoon. Dad had posted that I was coming home today with a smiley face. Jackie had liked it.

  A news article on Kindling Romance scrolled up. The picture showed all three of the handsome owners smiling for the camera in front of their New York office. I smiled back at Bastian and clicked on the article.

  It was just an update on the launch of their new dating app. The news article claimed that it would change the dating game yet again, and I almost believed it. If Bastian was involved, he was certainly a game-changer.

  I read to the end and saw a related article. Who is Billionaire Sebastian Belrose?

  My mouse hovered over the link as I considered clicking it. I knew who Sebastian Belrose was. He was the wonderful man I had just finished paddle-boarding out on the ocean with. I had just spent the last week having the most amazing time with him. Sebastian Belrose protected me and treated me like I was special. I didn't need a clickbait article to tell me that.

  I clicked on it anyway. I couldn't help myself.

  The article was full of useless speculation. It seemed that very few people actually knew the real Sebastian Belrose. He had managed to keep the major secrets of his life out of the public, letting Gabe and Leo have the spotlight.

  Model turned actress, Anastasia Nichols and billionaire Sebastian Belrose were thought to be an item last year, but have since been seen with other people.

  A picture of Bastian and the most beautiful woman I had ever seen filled my screen. The two of them were obviously on a date at some sort of fancy restaurant. She had on the most amazing, form-fitting, red dress and her hand was resting on his arm. The picture had him caught in mid-laugh from whatever clever thing the stunning woman had to say.

  I looked up at my reflection in the wall mirror, noting how I appeared nothing like the supermodel in the photo.

  My hair was a disaster as I hadn't brushed it yet after our morning paddle-board session. In fact, there was even a piece of seaweed still lodged in it from when I fell in the water. I hadn't showered yet, so I hadn't put on any makeup. My nose was sunburned and freckles had started to pop up on my cheeks.

  I wasn't anything close to a model. Why would he even bother with me? I wasn't anything spectacular.

  My computer binged as an email arrived. I clicked to check it, thinking it might be an important update from Dad, only to find it another message from Chad.

  We are perfect for one another. You know you'll never do better than me. Please give me another chance. I miss you. I know you miss me.

  I hesitated to delete it, reading it twice more before finally hitting the delete button. I flipped back to the article on Sebastian, looking at the perfect woman that was making him laugh. He was so handsome and the two of them made an amazing looking couple. They would have beautiful children. Besides, looking at their elegant surroundings, I would never fit in there.

  Maybe Chad was right. Maybe he was the best I could have hoped for. I looked in the mirror again and saw another piece of seaweed.

  Bastian deserved someone better than me. He deserved someone who could fit in his world and complement him. I would never be able to wear that red dress without being incredibly self conscious and having to adjust it every two seconds. The woman in the picture didn't appear to have that problem.

  I sighed and closed the window. I needed a shower.

  ***

  I followed the smell of bacon into the kitchen. Bastian was busy mixing something in a bowl while bacon hissed and sputtered on the stove behind him. He had showered and shaved, but was wearing just a t-shirt and shorts. He smiled as he saw me come in.

  “Ready for breakfast?” He held up the bowl. “I'm making waffles.”

  I went to the coffee pot, pouring another cup. This was the last day of this tranquil domestic scene. The last day I would have this coffee mug and the last time Bastian would make me waffles. I didn't want this dream to end.

  “I can't wait,” I told him, smiling and sipping at my coffee. He grinned and poured the first waffle into the waffle iron.

  “You want to make the eggs?” he asked. “Yours are better than mine.”

  I smiled at the compliment and went to the fridge to pull out the eggs. I was going to miss this.

  “You're awfully quiet,” Bastian noted, checking his waffle before flipping the iron. “You okay?”

  I pushed the butter around the skillet, watching it melt and change into something else.

  “I leave in a few hours,” I said finally, my heart aching at just saying the words. I didn't want to leave, but I had to get back to my life. I had to get back to Dad. He was getting a pacemaker and I needed to be there for him. I had responsibilities and I couldn't stay in the Caribbean playing happy honeymoon forever.

  “I know.” Bastian's voice held as much sadness as mine did.

  “What happens next?” I asked. I cracked an egg, watching it sizzle in the butter before I mushed the yolk into a yellow mess. I turned around slowly to watch him.

  “What do you mean?” Bastian removed his first waffle and put it on a plate. It was a perfect golden brown. He added more batter to the iron.

  “What happens with us, Bastian?”

  It was one of the few things we hadn't discussed this past week. We both had silently agreed to avoid it, finding other topics far more interesting. Our time together had been better than either one of us could remember, but we both knew that talking about it meant that it would come to an end. Except, even without discussing it, it was still ending.

  “I don't know.” He ran a hand through his hair, spiking the still damp golden-brown tresses up. “I don't want to lose you, though.”

  I turned around, focusing on stirring the eggs. I knew what had to be done. What had to be done to keep us both from making promises we couldn't keep.

  “I think we should just end it.”

  “What?” Bastian's voice cracked slightly.

  I turned the heat down on the eggs and turned around, biting my lip. This needed to be done. I was giving him his life back because I wouldn't fit in it. I never would have fit.

  “I have to go back home,” I said slowly. “You have to go back to New York. I can't work in NY. You can't work in my tiny town.”

  “We could find a way,” he insisted. He set down the bowl of waffle batter.

  I shook my head. “Bastian, you're a billionaire. I'm not. You drive luxury cars and I drive my cousin's hand-me-down car. You deserve someone better than me.”

  There. I said it. The truth was out now.

  “No, I don't,” he growled.

  “Yes, you do,” I insisted. I motioned to my sunburned nose and cheap clothes. “Look at me. I can't go to your fancy galas and dinner parties. I don't fit in that world.”

  Bastian's gray eyes narrowed. “You could.”

  “No,” I said, shaking my head. “When I leave tonight. I leave.”

  “Ava...”

  “It's been a wonderful trip, but that's all it was.” I swallowed down the ache in my heart. I wanted to throw up, but this was how it had to be. He deserved someone worthy of him and his world and that person wasn't me. He would drop me just like Chad did, only harder. It was only a matter of time before he saw that I wasn't worthy of him. I couldn't take that pain. The kn
owledge that I didn't deserve him and he just hadn't realized it yet pounded in my head like cruel drum beats. I had to make them stop. “Let's not make this into something more than the two of us having a good time.”

  The waffles started to burn.

  Hurt painted across his face in broad strokes. Shock and anger replaced it. His scar was livid against his pale cheek as he processed my callous words.

  He ripped the waffle iron out of the wall and threw the entire thing in the sink. I jumped at the loud and angry motion. The iron clattered and hissed against the stainless steel sink, smoking and steaming as the ruined waffle ran out the sides.

  He turned and stormed out of the kitchen, leaving the mess of waffles in his wake. I held my wooden spatula in shock as I heard him thunder up the stairs. The slam of his study door made the mansion shake and I could hear the harsh turn of the lock even from the kitchen.

  My eggs were burning.

  I didn't care. Saying those words had hurt far more than I had expected. They were lies and I knew it, yet I had said them.

  I pushed them to the side, sliding down to the floor and sobbing for the man I knew I couldn't have.

  Chapter 22

  One week. One glorious week.

  I put my swimsuit carefully away in my suitcase. I couldn't believe how fast the week had gone. I needed to find my sandals and put them in next, but I was taking my time and moving as slowly as possible. I didn't want the week to end yet. I wasn't ready for it to end yet. I didn't want this dream to end.

  The week had been a glorious blur of Bastian, paddle-boarding, art, and the most mind-blowing sex I had ever had. Up until this morning, it had been heaven.

  I was going to miss Bastian, but I knew it was better for him for me to end it. It wasn't just the sex that made him so amazing, though it certainly didn't hurt. If I ever told him that he was sweet, he would most certainly deny it, but it was true. He was incredibly intelligent with a sharp sense of humor that had me laughing and smiling without realizing it. He deserved someone worthy of him. Someone better than me.

  He was perfect. And wonderful. And everything I ever wanted.

  And I had to leave him. For his own good. He deserved someone who could be his equal. Past experience had taught me that it wasn't me.

  I had no reason to stay. The appraisal was done. I had completed it in time and was actually quite proud of my work. It had been hard, and there were a couple late nights, but between sending pictures to my father and working every moment that I wasn't with Bastian, I had gotten it all done. It was the biggest job I had ever done. It was time for me to go take care of Dad, now.

  All good things must come to an end, I thought as I stuffed my last shirt into the bag. The auction would be next week, but that was my aunt's domain. My part of working for Sebastian Belrose was complete and I had nothing left to do. I was supposed to go home now. It was time for me to go back to my regular life where I belonged. As much as I wanted to belong here, I knew I didn't.

  I closed my eyes and imagined what life would be like if I hadn't told him I was leaving.

  I would be flying to New York all the time. Missing business. He would be flying to me all the time. We wouldn't have any time together. We would fight. I would embarrass him at social situations. He would find someone better. If I wasn't enough for a small fish like Chad, then Bastian would tire of me even sooner.

  I would only end up hurting both of us. It was better this way.

  The light in the room was fading quickly, making everything appear gray and drab. I looked out the window of my room. The sky was quickly darkening as the sunset approached. Bastian stood at the water's edge, staring off at the blackening horizon. I didn't want to leave, but I knew it was time. My dream job was over. Despite this morning, I needed to say goodbye. I had to see him one last time.

  I did one last sweep of the room, making sure that everything was neatly packed away into my suitcase. Someone would come and take it to the car for me soon. I placed my bag on the bed and went down to say my goodbyes.

  I had already said goodbye to Lucia at breakfast, and Charlotte had apologized over video chat for leaving and not coming back days ago. She was still stuck on the mainland working on the company app with Leo. I hoped things were going well for her and that she would finally get the courage to tell him she liked him. I hoped I would see her again, but I wasn't sure.

  I stepped out onto the fine white sand. Bastian was wearing his full length shirt again, after an entire week of wearing short-sleeves or nothing. It looked strange now. Like he had on the wrong skin. The wind tugged at his hair, messing it's warm brown and golds into a tangles.

  I stood beside him, watching the horizon grow dark as the sun set behind us. We were looking toward the dawn, both of us wishing the sun were coming up instead of going down. He moved his hand, then paused, as if unsure how I would react. In a quick movement, he took my hand in his, holding onto me tightly.

  Our shadows stretched out far into the dark water until the stars started to twinkle, but still we stood. Finally, he turned, his gray eyes full of a sadness I shared and a pain I had caused. His hand held onto mine like I might turn to mist at any moment and disappear from his sight. I could still see the anger, deep in his dark eyes, but it was overshadowed by sadness and acceptance.

  He was letting me leave because I had told him I needed to. He was giving me what I asked.

  I hated thinking about it, but now it was time. We were from separate worlds. We were both trapped by our businesses and our obligations to others.

  Our worlds were just too different, our lives too separate. A fish may love a bird, but where would they build their nest.... We both knew it. Better to end it here before we really hurt one another.

  Shadows filled his face. The scars on his cheek and eyebrow darkened as the sun faded into obscurity. He touched my face, caressing my cheek with his fingers like he was memorizing me.

  “I have to go,” I said quietly, leaning into his touch and never wanting him to stop. My chest ached with an unexplainable pain. I hadn't expected this moment to hurt this much. “My plane will be leaving soon.”

  “I know,” he replied, tucking a strand of hair behind my ear. His hand went to the back of my neck. He slowly lowered his face to mine, kissing me goodbye one last time. The kiss was soft and warm, lingering and full of memory. I closed my eyes and took in every detail. The way his five-o'clock shadow scratched my lips, how warm he was, the taste of his tongue, and the scent of his cologne. I wanted to remember every detail.

  “I've never liked the dark, but with you, it's tolerable,” he whispered, his voice cracking slightly. He caressed my cheek again, his fingers soft with regret. “In fact, I think I could get used to the dark if you were there with me. Possibly even enjoy it.”

  My throat constricted, and I couldn't speak. I didn't have the words to tell him how I felt. How I needed him. He didn't deserve to be stuck with me when he could have someone so much better. I wasn't good enough for anyone, let alone Bastian.

  So, instead I kissed him, pouring every fiber of my being into the kiss and hoping that he understood. I wanted to stay with him more than I wanted to breathe. He was a part of me now, and leaving was like losing a limb. If it hurts this much now, imagine the heartache later, I told myself.

  Elijah cleared his throat. “It's time to go,” he announced, as gently as he could from behind us.

  “Goodbye, Bastian,” I whispered, pressing my forehead into his. Better to prevent the pain, I reminded myself. Better for both of us.

  “Goodbye, Ava,” he whispered back. I kissed him one last time before summoning every ounce of strength I had to turn and walk away.

  An ounce of prevention is worth a pound of cure. I could do this. I could leave him now and it wouldn't be as bad as it would be later. In a few days, this would just be a happy memory. We would be back to our normal lives within forty-eight hours.

  This was a fling. A beach romance. An impossible love. It could
never survive outside the sandy shores of the Caribbean. If we brought it back with us, it would die a cold and cruel death in the winter winds of reality. This was for the better. This is for our own good.

  The walk to the car was longer than I could have imagined. Elijah padded softly behind me as I left the man who meant so much to me standing on a dark beach. I wanted to cry, but it hurt so much that I didn't even have tears for it yet.

  “Have a safe trip home, Ava,” Elijah said, opening the door to the car. “It was wonderful to have you here.”

  “Thank you, Elijah,” I replied. He would know just how much Bastian meant to me. How much I meant to Bastian. “It was wonderful. Like a dream. I wish I didn't have to leave.”

  My voice cracked and the tears finally found their way to the surface. Elijah gave me a small, sad smile and then tapped on the roof to signal the driver. Marcus waited until I had fastened my seat-belt to start the engine.

  The car purred to life as Marcus maneuvered out of the giant driveway and to the main road. I looked back, seeing the ocean glinting of the receding moon as we drove away. I could just make out Bastian's silhouette against the water. His head thrown back as if he were screaming at the water.

  I turned away, not wanting to look anymore. It was time for me to go home.

  Chapter 23

  The flight to Florida was short. The private jet was just as huge as the one we had arrived on, but it felt too small now. I was confined by the plane. Confined to going back to my life. Alone.

  I stayed awake, keeping myself busy with paperwork, but I kept having to redo it. I couldn't concentrate. Every time I had to write Sebastian Belrose's name as the owner of an item, my brain would freeze and I would picture his face. The way he smelled. The touch of his skin.

  “Miss?” the flight attendant caught my attention, smiling politely. “We need to refuel. You're welcome to go into the airport and walk around for a few minutes.”