by Aja Cole
“They weren’t all wise and smooth when they snagged us, don’t let him rewrite the narrative.” Karina raises an eyebrow, “But Dom, you do make it harder than it needs to be. If you like a girl, just tell her. You want to go out again? Say that. Don’t play stupid games to try to one-up each other on who cares less. That’s no way to build a good relationship. You have to be willing to be vulnerable, to trust each other.”
I know she’s not talking to Jackson and I, but I take her words in anyway, and when he sets a big hand on my thigh, caressing it lightly, I know he’s thinking the same thing.
This time, neither of us even tries to pretend that we can use that shower together right now.
Instead, I use the big shower and Jackson showers in one of the other bathrooms.
It feels like so much has happened this weekend, like one week has been crammed into two days. After I finish washing my face, I finger comb my hair into a loose bun and wrap my scarf around it, flipping the bathroom light off once I finish. I stole one of Jackson’s t-shirts and shucked my bra, because I was getting really tired of it chafing against my nipples.
I’m in bed when he comes in, in boxers and still ruffling a towel over his hair.
“The girls can’t wait to hang out with you more. Sounds like you fit right in.”
“I really enjoyed talking to them, and meeting everyone. I was nervous, but I really had no reason to be because your friends are kind of awesome.”
“I didn’t know before I switched teams that I’d end up so close to them, but they’re much more than just my teammates now.” He turns off the last light, slipping under the covers. I try to hold my yawn, but I can’t. The carbs plus the long day and the short nap means I’m just about completely knackered.
“That’s good.” I whisper, closing my eyes.
“Goodnight, Nomi.”
“G’night.”
I’m still awake enough to feel him press a kiss to my belly and hear his whisper.
“Goodnight Baby Smirf.”
27
“I don’t like those colors. They’re too…dull. We need brighter, much more vibrant and alive. Let’s have them do a reprint and make sure they’ve chosen the right color modes. If they’re still not coming out right, then we’ll just switch them out for the other mock-ups.” I scribble a note on a sticky so Kara doesn’t forget, then press it onto the proof.
“Alright, I’ll get these over to them.”
“Thank you.” I sit back in my chair, stretching my back some. It’s aching and I’m trying my best not to let it get to me too much, because I’ve still got an hour minimum of work to do before I head back to the house. I don’t want to start slacking off now when I’m not going to be in the office for a few weeks after the baby is born.
Reaching for the stack of papers on my desk, I thumb through them until I find the one I need, then I pull up the corresponding media plan on my desktop and start to read through to make sure it all matches up. The campaign for this new bra shop will start soon, and I just want to triple-check that we haven’t missed anything.
My phone buzzes at some point while I’m reading, and I ignore it until I finish.
Once I’ve made the changes I wanted to and signed off on it, I pick up my phone, unsurprised to see another text from Jackson.
They have away games this week and he keeps checking on me, making sure I’m okay. I had to FaceTime him last night so he’d stop harassing me and let me sleep.
It’s kinda cute, though, him worrying. I’m not going to waste my time being annoyed with it because I don’t think he’s going to stop anytime soon.
Chris has tried to call a few times, but I’ve sent him to voicemail.
I’m simply not ready to talk to him…and I don’t know when I will be.
I haven’t told anyone else what he said and I don’t intend on repeating it if I can help it.
He’s entitled to his opinion, and I’m not going to beg him to see me any differently if that’s what he believes after knowing me my whole life.
I love this baby, I want this baby, and I’ll lay down my life for her if I have to.
The phone on my desk lights up and I answer, “Hey Beth, what’s up?”
“There’s a guest downstairs asking for you, a Vaughn Cazimero? Were you expecting him?”
My fingers tighten around the receiver and I remind myself that violence isn’t the answer. God, you’d think the man would take the hint that I want to close his chapter of my life firmly and for good.
Just barely stopping myself from hissing, I decide that this ends today. “I’ll go down and speak to him. Thank you.”
“I’lll let security know.”
I hang up the receiver and stretch my neck side to side before I put away the briefs I was looking at, resigned to my work day being over. The mothers in the office are mother henning me and if I stay a second longer than they think I should, they start shooing me out of here. It’s amusing and endearing, mostly because I can’t ignore how achy and tired I start to feel after I’ve been here all day, despite wanting to push through.
I gather up my bag and keys, shutting down my computer. Jenna pokes her head out of her office, then disappears again before she comes out with a gift bag in hand.
“If I can have everyone gather ‘round for a second.” She calls out, and I move towards the center of the large, open room with everyone else. The only completely enclosed spaces are Jenna and Kiely’s offices and a few conference rooms, but the rest of the office is an open, airy space that’s segmented into different areas. I like it because it feels very…team-like. Even Jenna and Kiely spend more time out here, working on the couches and tables than locked up in their offices. When she has everyone’s attention, Jenna beckons for me to come forward and I shake my head, sheepish. I knew it was probably about me when I saw her come out as I was packing up.
“As we all know by now, our new and talented addition is a first time mom. And with so much wisdom and knowledge going around here, from moms and dads and family alike, we’ve been crowdsourcing the most important things to know and what everyone thought was most useful before and after baby since you’d mentioned you needed to do some looking around. We wanted to make it a little easier.” She takes out a pretty pink binder from the bag, with a card taped to the front of it. “There’s a gift card in there, everyone chipped in. In the binder, there are tips and tricks and thoughts from all of us for you to read in case you start going stir-crazy those first few weeks. And since we are super efficient, there’s a word document and links that Kara is sending to your email as we speak. We didn’t want to wait until your last day in the office, because we’re impatient.” She smiles, putting the binder back in the bag and handing it to me. “Congratulations, Nomi. We can’t wait to meet her.”
I wrap my arms around her tight, and we squeeze each other. Soon enough, I’m taking turns hugging and thanking everyone, and I manage to do it without even crying once.
“You guys are the best. I appreciate it so much, I can’t even tell you.”
“We know. We only hire the best around here.” Kiely winks, “Now get outta here, mama. You’re over your time!”
Vaughn is standing with his hands in his pockets in the lobby, staring out the window when I stop a few feet away from him.
Not a single hair out of place, per usual.
“Is there a reason that you won’t go back to California?”
He turns around, opening his mouth to say something as he walks closer…then his eyes drop to my stomach and he stumbles, eyes nearly popping out of his head.
“Oh my god, is that…”
“Vaughn, we disclosed the exact date of the last time we had sex in the divorce papers. Don’t be obtuse. It’s not medically possible for this to be your child.”
“I still think you were mistaken.”
“I’ve been tracking everything to do with my cycle and more religiously since I was a teenager. I wasn’t mistaken then, and I’m not now.”
He frowns, “Why are you being so combative? You were never like this with me.”
I start to walk to the elevators, “And that was an error on my part. When I get in my car, I don’t want to see you again, so you should get to the point of your second drop-in visit.”
“Whose baby is it? Were you seeing them before we separated?”
“No, I wasn’t, though I don’t see how that’s any of your business considering your dick didn’t stay in your pants either.”
“Don’t be crass.”
“What do you want, Vaughn? That’s the last time I’m going to ask.”
He goes quiet as we step into the elevator, before he lets out a long suffering sigh like he just can’t believe he has to deal with this. “I just came to give you the money from the sale of the house. Your stuff is on the way to your parent’s house, but I didn’t want to send the check in the mail.”
“I told you I didn’t want anything.”
“And my parents told me to give you half, so please don’t make me tell my mother you wouldn’t accept it, because she will call you herself.”
“You could always lie.”
“It’s from their account, in your name, so no, I couldn’t.” He sticks the envelope in my bag, and I resign myself to it. I haven’t spoken to his parents in awhile and I’d rather not have anyone else from his family harassing me.
I step off the elevator into the parking garage, using the button for my car. “And that’s the only reason you’re here?”
He hedges, fidgeting, and I let out a short laugh. Typical.
“Just spit it out.”
“I’m here on business, too. I have a dinner tonight with Bruno and his wife, and you know she loves you. You’re good with people, and I need him to give us this contract. You know how much he cares about working with good people, and if you’re there, it looks better than…” He trails off.
“Looks better than you having to tell them you’re divorced now because you’re a manipulative liar?”
His eye twitches and I smile inside.
“Yes.” He grits out. “This is the last thing I’ll ever ask, I swear it. But we need this contract, and we were always a good team.”
“And I’m just supposed to let everyone assume that we’re still together and this is your child?”
“The truth is none of their business.”
“Oh, only the lies are because you want something from them. Got it.” I scoff, jerking open my door. I think I’ve heard enough, and he’s got to be out of his mind to think that I’ll help him do a single damn thing.
He stops the door with his hand, “Okay, okay. Look, I’ll make it clear that we’re not together. I’ll just say that…that you and Jacqueline get along so well that you agreed to come with me, despite us not being together anymore. If you’re willing to be in my company at least, they won’t assume there’s bad blood between us.”
I start the Lexus.
“Please, Cecelia. For the good times we did have. I know I was shitty to you. I know I didn’t even deserve you and you didn’t deserve the way I took you for granted.” He bends to look at me, and it’s probably the most sincere I’ve ever seen him. “I got resentful and selfish and…Honestly, I wasn’t ready to be married. I just…my parents wanted it and I’ve never been good at telling them no. But I did care for you, and if I thought I’d ever be a good husband, there’s no doubt in mind that you’d be the kind of woman I’d choose. Please.”
I take a long moment, weighing my options.
In the end, him finally being real with me, even if it’s just because he wants something is what sways me.
I raise my chin, considering, “So you’re admitting that you never really wanted me.”
“I never wanted a wife, at all. You made it clear that you wouldn’t be a forever girlfriend, so…I knew what my parents wanted, and I liked you. I thought I wouldn’t hate being married to you, if I had to be. It wasn’t all bad, right?”
I tap my fingers against the wheel. “I do this, we’re done. I get home tonight and you forget I existed.”
“I could never just forget you, but if that’s what you want, then I’ll respect it.”
I motion for him to shut my door, and I crack the window so he can hear me. “Send me the details.”
28
The restaurant is one that the Pointe’s must have chosen, because Vaughn hates seafood.
I give my keys to the valet and go in to the hostess, giving their name. She leads me back to a private table and Vaughn is already there, fiddling with his phone.
He stands when he sees me, raising his arms for a hug before he realizes how unwise that is, instead going for a nod. “You look really nice. Pregnancy suits you.”
“Thank you.”
I dropped by Nordstrom’s before I got to the house and found a deep wine colored wrap dress that doesn’t make me feel like a stuffed sausage and is a little nicer than my work clothes. I’ve been wearing my regular clothing for most of the pregnancy, so it’s been an adjustment, suddenly popping the way that I am. Thank god my feet haven’t swollen, so I’m wearing a pair of chunky heels that I loved pre-pregnancy too. I threw a few loose curls in my hair and it’s falling quite thick and healthy over my shoulders. I’ve always taken care of my hair, but I think I have Baby Smirf to thank for the extra dose of shine and vitality I’m getting these days.
“Are those the earrings that Jacqueline gave you?” Vaughn pulls out my chair and takes his seat after I take mine.
I finger the delicate drop earrings, “Yes, the ones she sent for my birthday.”
“See, you’re good at that stuff. That’s why I needed you tonight.”
“I’m glad you told them what to expect, because I don’t like the idea of lying to Jackie when she’s been so good to me.”
Vaughn reaches for his water glass, sipping from it. “Yep, exactly.” His eyes raise and he stands up, voice too loud in the intimate dining room, “And look who finally decided to join us!”
“Vaughn.” Bruno inclines his head politely, but his face lights up when he turns and sees me waiting to greet them. “Cecelia! Look at you, woman. Get over here!”
“Hey Bruno,” I laugh, accepting his bear hug. He’s a big, gruff teddy bear whose bark is worse than his bite. He reminds me of an older uncle. “It’s so good to see you both.”
I turn to Jackie, pulling her into a hug, kissing both of her cheeks just as she does with me.
“Aw, congratulations sweetheart. You are absolutely glowing! Are you having a shower here or California? Both?” The older woman pulls back, taking my hands. I open my mouth to tell her that I’m back in Atlanta permanently, but Vaughn interrupts.
“It’ll be in California, but you’re welcome to come out.”
Red creeps into my vision like a haze, and the only reason I don’t walk away is because it would be rude to our dinner partners and I think too highly of them to leave them with Vaughn.
Halfway through enduring the fraud of a dinner, I excuse myself to go to the ladies room, and Jackie immediately says that she’ll join me.
Perfect, because I fully intend on spilling the beans for her to tell her husband later on.
I don’t know why I believed a habitual liar in the first place!
That’s what I get for thinking that maybe he’d actually had some time to reflect and grow over the past months. I figured that since he wasn’t trapped in a marriage he didn’t really want, he was being honest.
Guess not.
After I use the washroom, I wash my hands while Jackie reapplies her lipstick. Then she pulls me to sit down in the small lounge area, taking my left hand.
“Okay little miss, what’s really going on between you two? You think I wouldn’t notice that you’re not wearing that gorgeous ring?”
I stare at my hand like it’s the first time I’m seeing it.
Well, hot damn. I didn’t even think about it!
“We are divorced, and we haven’t b
een together in almost nine, ten months. I only came tonight to see you and Bruno. I was under the impression that Vaughn told y’all our current situation, but I guess I was mistaken.”
“Oh my lord, no! We had no idea. And he’s been sitting there all night acting like nothing has changed.”
“Yes, and I’m actually in Atlanta permanently. I’m not sure when the baby shower will be, but I’ll make sure you get the details if I have one.”
“There is no if, young lady. I won’t have it. Actually, send me your mother’s number. I want to help pull everything together and I won’t take no for an answer.”
I open my mouth to protest but she shakes her head firmly, “I love planning and it would make me so happy to be apart of it. Please, for me,” Jackie puts a ringed hand to her generous chest, and I can’t tell her no.
“I think I left my phone back at the table, but put it into yours.” I recite my mom’s number and she saves it, practically bouncing in the cushioned seat.
“So does that mean there’s a new man in your life?”
I make a coy sound, shrugging. “It’s an ongoing development, but we are both looking forward to meeting our baby girl.”
“I’ll let you get away with that for now, but I expect all the real details shortly.” We both stand, and Jackie links her arm through mine as we head towards the doors. “We’ll let Vaughn have his fun for now, but I’ll be letting Bruno know about it when we’re alone, don’t you worry.”
Maybe it’s petty, but I didn’t make him offer to be honest, and since he offered and then chose to lie and let me believe that he’d done otherwise; I don’t care.
I’ve allowed him to use me for the last time, except this time, it’s going to bite him in the ass.
I watch both men stand when we near the table, a smug smile on Vaughn’s face.
I only wish that I could see it when he realizes that the only thing he gained tonight was egg on his face.