Out of Practice Aphrodite (The Goddess Chronicles Book 1)

by S. E. Babin

  “Believe you will succeed, Abby. I’ve seen you do tremendous things. Relinquish your doubt. Bravery is buried deep within your heart. Find its core and embrace it.”

  I rested my head on his shoulder briefly, trying to contain my tears. There were so many things I wanted to say to him, but at least I knew we were parting on good terms this time. Our past relationship may have been fiery, but Ares could be counted on when the chips were down. I was disappointed he wouldn’t stand with me. His sense of self-preservation won every time.

  He leaned in close to my ear and whispered, “Goodbye, fair Aphrodite. May the sun light your path and the moon hear your prayers.”

  He released me, lifted a hand in farewell and vanished. I set my shoulders, turned to face Artie, and tried to put on a brave face.

  “So,” I drawled. “The likelihood is that we’re about to enter a war we have no chance of winning. We have the Goddess of Love, the Goddess of the Hunt, and the Messenger God. We could make people fall in love, risk their lives, or mail parcels. I feel a win coming on.”

  All three of us chuckled uncomfortably. I guess we could have been worse off, but losing the God of War was a serious blow to our team. While I understood why Ares had bailed, I was disappointed he’d left us in a dire situation. There was only one thing I could do right now to calm everyone’s shattered nerves.

  “All right, everyone, who’s up for cookies?”

  Grins lit our faces and I turned toward the kitchen to scrounge up my trusty French Kiss the Cook apron and the ingredients needed to make my world famous chocolate chunk cookies. No matter who you were or what problems you faced, food was always a fantastic comfort when the going got tough. Even the gods knew that much.

  We all sat around the kitchen bar, history’s badasses, with chocolate smeared on our faces and huge glasses of milk by our plates. Through a mouthful of cookie Artie announced, “Nothing could possibly go wrong with fortification this good.”

  Hermes and I grunted assent – neither of us could be bothered to speak. Even though I was a constant work in progress, living among the humans had shown me how some of the seemingly smallest actions could provide the greatest comfort. There was almost nothing better than sitting around with good friends and good food. The only thing missing was coffee.

  Hermes stood up abruptly and announced, “We forgot the coffee.”

  This was a man after my own heart. I pointed to one of the upper cabinets, and he rummaged until he found the bag of French roast I had supplied earlier when I was creating my kitchen. I chewed on that thought for a moment. Why was it that my powers seemed to work well when I was involved in mundane tasks but chose to malfunction at crucial moments…all of them related to this case? I looked around at our group, all three of us (a regular battalion) and decided to come clean.

  Full disclosure was necessary if we had a chance in Hades of coming out of this alive. I watched Hermes methodically measure coffee into the filter. Most gods wouldn’t know what to do with a coffee machine if it hit them in the face. I had a sneaking suspicion there was a lot more to Hermes than he was telling us. He felt me staring and turned to offer me a lusty wink. I blushed but couldn’t help the grin that stole across my face.

  Artie busied herself with shoveling another cookie into her mouth. I watched her, my friend for millennia, and felt sad she lived such a lonely existence. I never knew her to have a boyfriend or lover. Of course, she was a virgin goddess, but that was for history’s sake. Artie was no shrinking violet, that was for sure.

  My thoughts flickered back to Keto. It might be a good idea to contact him and ask him to come here. He was never one to pass up the opportunity for adventure, although even he might think twice about the debacle we were about to head into.

  I took a deep breath. “Something is wrong with my powers,” I said.

  The only acknowledgement I received was snorts from the peanut gallery.

  Wow. It was a bomb drop, and that was the only reaction? I stared at them nonplussed, but when I opened my mouth to speak, not a single word came out.

  Artie choked on a laugh. “Abby, really. We’ve been friends since you bubbled up from the sea. Did you honestly think for a single second you were keeping any secrets from me?”

  I frowned at her. And here I’d thought I had been so sneaky. Who else knew about it? Seems the secret slipped out of the bag long before I decided to open it. Hermes busied himself by staring at the dripping coffee, trying his best to stay out of the conversation. “How did you know?” I pinned him with a glare. I definitely hadn’t told Hermes about my powers. There was no way he could have known about it.

  He shrugged his powerful shoulders and refused to meet my gaze.

  “Hermes,” I said in a warning tone, “Is there something you need to tell me?”

  “Word is going around Olympus about you, Abby. No one has seen or heard from you for weeks and now there are rumblings about Orpheus and the apples.”

  The Olympus grapevine strikes again, I thought bitterly.

  “How in the world could they already know about Orpheus?” My voice verged on hysterical. Everything had happened this morning.

  “Eris,” Artie said.

  Damn. With the great patrol car escape, I had forgotten about her for a second. Eris…Goddess of Destruction and Chaos. Just what we needed on our plate.

  She had been a thorn in Olympus’ side for many years now, but Zeus had banished her to earth after a failed coup. Seemed like she had gained some power back after that show she’d put on at Orpheus’ house. She was one piece to the puzzle we could have done without. Eris was known to be a clever and vicious opponent, and why Zeus hadn’t destroyed her the minute she tried to take over Olympus was beyond me. He was most gentle with his flawed children.

  That could explain the reason I was still alive, but I wasn’t evil, just mischievous…and occasionally a giant pain in the ass.

  Eris was on a different planet when it came to being a pain and wouldn’t hesitate to kill anyone she found in her path. We were fortunate she had been in a hurry today or we could have been on the same menu as Orpheus. Eris was a master of manipulation through subterfuge. Whereas most of the gods chose to influence directly through intimidation or fear, Eris would prey on weaknesses – whispering words of encouragement and influence in your ear until suddenly you didn’t recognize yourself anymore. She was a master at corrupting souls, but it didn’t explain why she’d murdered Orpheus when all she had to do was take the apples from him.

  Speaking of which, why were those blasted apples so important to her? Eris was already immortal. She was banished from Olympus – stealing the apples wouldn’t help her regain favor in any way. As far as I knew, immortality was the only gift the apples bestowed on their owners. She didn’t need them, so there had to be an ulterior motive. One we needed to get to the bottom of and fast.

  Hermes nodded in agreement with Artie’s statement about Eris. “I don’t know how she did it, but somehow she sent word back to Olympus about your little plight. It likely means she has something to do with your malfunctioning powers.”

  I didn’t know how. Although both of us were living on the earth, no one had seen her in hundreds of years. She occasionally resurfaced to cause chaos – Occupy Wall Street anyone – but then retreated to wherever her newest hidey hole happened to be. Zeus would not be pleased about this recent development.

  I filled Hermes in on what had happened once we arrived in Asheville.

  He listened with a sober expression at the mention of Orpheus’ fate. “Such a loss will be mourned,” he said. “There will be vengeance from Olympus.”

  Artie’s eyes flashed. “Damned skippy there will be.” A fierce grin lit her face, unmarred by the streak of chocolate by the side of her lip.

  I chuckled and motioned to Artie’s napkin.

  “What?” she murmured over another bite of cookie.

  “Enough cookies, Artie, or we’ll have to roll you out of the kitchen.”


  She dismissed me with a wave of her hand and took a long swallow of milk. “Whatever, Betty Crocker. Why don’t you get back in the kitchen and whip us up something else?”

  In response I took off my apron and swatted her in the head with it, quickly jumping out of the way before she could swat me back. “Too slow.” I crowed, and then promptly tripped over the kitchen chair and landed on my ass.

  Laughter rang out through the kitchen. I knew I’d have a huge bruise in a tender place the next morning, but the sound of their laughter lifted my heart and spirit in a way I hadn’t felt in months.

  8

  Chapter Eight

  The next morning rang in beautiful. Dappled sunlight filtered into my bedroom window, waking me before the cheap alarm clock could. I lay in bed for a few moments, my face turned to look outside. A girl could settle in a place like Asheville. Birds flitted in and out of the birch trees, trilling a spirit-lifting song. I’d left my window open last night and could feel the cool air singing against my skin. I smiled and shut my eyes, content to enjoy a peaceful moment before I had to think about everything I was up against.

  New York was a distant memory in my mind, a strange notion considering I had left just a couple of days ago. Could Asheville be a place fit for a goddess? Even though Artie hadn’t mentioned it, I suspected she was falling in love with this place even though she still had strong ties to Olympus. Mine had been slipping for years now. Could I leave Olympus for good? I was unsure but didn’t think Zeus would be supportive of it.

  Earth was a place I had grown to love. I no longer felt like Olympus was my home, especially with the events of the last few days. Zeus liked to keep a tight rein on his children, something that was proving to be more difficult than he probably had expected. I was one of the few who had somewhat managed to slip his tight reins of authority and so far he had been – for him – downright pleasant about everything.

  If I didn’t get this investigation in gear soon, though, I could be sweating it out in Hades. I grimaced, my peaceful mood spoiled by my unhappy thoughts. Flinging the covers out of the way, I got out of bed ready for a cup of coffee and progress. Only one of those was certain, and a robust French roast tantalized my nose as I made my way out of the bedroom.

  Artie and Hermes were enjoying cups of said brew when I stumbled in. Both were grinning at me and I realized I hadn’t even looked in the mirror before I went on my search for coffee. I didn’t want to think about what a sight I made.

  “Nice jammies.” Hermes’ eyes danced and he lifted the cup of coffee toward his lips, but not before I caught the small smile.

  I grunted in answer, only a little bit embarrassed about my SpongeBob pajamas. Quality television right there. Anyone who thought otherwise didn’t have to share my coffee. I snagged my trusty peacock mug and padded over to the coffee pot. Sighing in contentment, I deigned to look at them both again.

  “Is it safe?” Artie snickered.

  I glared at her. “Yes. Good morning,” I mumbled.

  “Good morning, sunshine,” they trilled in unison.

  “How long have you two been up?” I wasn’t sure I wanted to know. It was hard enough for me to get up this morning. If they’d been up for hours, I might dislike them even more.

  “Hours,” Artie said.

  Of course they had been. I muttered something unflattering under my breath, but both of them chuckled at me. Great, I was on a quest with two of the cheeriest people known to man.

  “While we were waiting for you, Sleeping Beauty, we thought of something else.”

  Artie stared at me in anticipation, no doubt waiting for me to dredge up some excitement for her announcement. “What?” I asked.

  “Grumpy pants,” she muttered. “Seriously, Abby. You should really look into some magical IV’s or something if coffee is the only thing that gets you going. Should we wait and tell you later?”

  Yes, I thought. “No. What is it, Artie? I’m sure it’s great.”

  She turned and looked at Hermes, who merely nodded as if encouraging her to go on. “First, we were sent here to try to make a love match between two people, right?”

  I nodded, not sure where she was going with it. “Not we. Just me. But I’m thankful you’re here.”

  She gave me an aw shucks shrug and pretended to chuck me across the chin. “So Orpheus and Eurydice were the target?”

  Amused, I looked up from my coffee. “Yes, if we were in Mission Impossible.”

  “Dork. Listen to my theory here, Watson. What if he had already freed Eurydice?”

  “A doubtful deduction, Sherlock,” I said. “She would have found us by now. And what does that have to do with the apples? The only reason I could think he would need the apples would be because he was planning to use them to free her.”

  Hermes set down his coffee mug. “But what if he did and Eris took her because of it?”

  Of course. Another wrench. That would be just our luck. It was a path I had failed to think about. But why would Eris snatch Eurydice when she already had the apples? It was difficult to understand her motivation. If I were to guess, I’d say she had daddy issues. If my dad tossed me out on my keister, I might be holding a grudge, too. I wasn’t defending her by any stretch of the imagination – children would go to great lengths to impress their fathers. Being a homicidal maniac in order to catch Zeus’ attention would be right up her alley.

  “Well, that would mean we have one more thing to add to our list. How can we find out for sure if Eris has her?”

  Hermes looked pensive for a moment. I knew he had the ability to find out the answer to our question, but whether he would remained to be seen. For Hermes to enlist himself with our rag tag bunch was a huge step. Second thoughts were bound to be roiling through his head right now. I wouldn’t blame him if he decided to walk away. I hoped he wouldn’t.

  Artie sipped her mug of coffee, her eyes darting between the two of us. Not much got past Artie and that lightning quick brain of hers was undoubtedly calculating the odds of us surviving this craziness while also wondering what was brewing between Hermes and me.

  Nothing if I ended up shoved into Hades. I’d be forced to stare at Hephaestus for the rest of my days and listen to him moan about his plight in life.

  I shook off those thoughts and steeled my resolve. I’d escape that fate no matter what.

  Hermes spoke hesitantly. “I can find out about Eurydice. I’ll need to travel to Olympus for a few days. Darting in and out asking questions could bring attention to us, and that’s the last thing any of us need.”

  I agreed and smiled at Hermes. He gave me a lopsided smile and turned his attention back to his mug, a frown forming at the center of his brow.

  Once we knew whether Eris had Eurydice, we could approach Zeus and ask for his guidance. That still left us with the problem of Marshall.

  A knock sounded and we turned startled eyes to each other. No one besides Ares knew we were here and he wouldn’t have bothered to knock. I set my mug down and smoothed my SpongeBob pajamas the best I could. Whoever was there would have to deal with the rest of my appearance. I wasn’t going to waste my magic on something so frivolous, especially with all of the issues I was having.

  As I walked toward the door I cast a nervous glance back to my partners in crime. Both stared at the door with a look of trepidation on their faces. Taking a deep breath and trying to calm my skittering heart, I plastered a smile on my face and opened the door.

  Marshall stood there, dressed in jeans and a white button down shirt. He looked about as pleased to see me as I was him. How in the world had he found us? My hand fluttered to my heart and I felt a shocked look steal over my face before I had a chance to control it. The smile dropped off of my face and I said nothing.

  “Abby.” Marshall nodded. “May I come in?”

  Swallowing hard I said, “Do you have a warrant?”

  A small smile lifted his lips. “Do I need one?”

  “No.” I answered a little too quickly, wond
ering why he was here and why I was still out of handcuffs.

  I stepped away from the door and swept it open with a gesture for him to come in. He glided past me, the scent of his spicy cologne teasing my senses. “Nice jammies,” he said.

  Men. “Thanks. I’m sure they make them in your size. Make sure to tell me when your birthday is and I’ll get you a pair.”

  “It’s in August. I like blue.” He walked toward the kitchen, reached up into my cabinet like he owned the place, and grabbed one of my mugs.

  Hermes and Artie merely stared and an awkward silence stole over the cabin. He snagged the coffee pot and made quick work of it.

  “Hey,” I said. “Kill the joe, make some mo.”

  A real smile crept onto his features and he filled the glass carafe at the sink. I opened one of the drawers and handed him a filter without a word.

  I reclaimed the seat next to Artie and took another sip as we watched him make another pot of coffee. The fact he had shown up here out of uniform had my heart lifting. It was possible we were going to escape this after all.

  Marshall examined us all. I felt shamelessly underdressed in my pajamas under his scrutinizing stare.

  “I won’t even ask how you managed to get out of the patrol car.” None of us said a word. There was no way we were going to tell him even if he had asked.

  His eyes lit upon Hermes. “I don’t believe we’ve had the pleasure. Let me guess. John Doe? Bob Brown? Or another very common, very vanilla name?”

  We hadn’t told Hermes about our disastrous introduction yet, but he immediately picked up on it. “No, but close. Let’s go with Frank Brown.” He bared his teeth at Marshall in a grim semblance of a smile.

  Well, scratch that. Maybe he had some handcuffs hidden inside those tight jeans. “Well, the only one who seems to have given me her real name is Abby. Greek? You don’t especially look Greek.”

  I snorted. It was apparent he’d never been to Greece. “That’s me. Fooling everyone.” I chuckled, but it sounded forced. I trailed off and cleared my throat.