Out of Practice Aphrodite (The Goddess Chronicles Book 1)

by S. E. Babin

  Marshall wiped a hand over his face in frustration. “Look, there is a weird vibe to all three of you. And the guy who was here yesterday. Speaking of, where is he?”

  “He left,” I said, hoping he wouldn’t ask any more questions about Ares.

  “Smart man,” Marshall said.

  He’d been here less than ten minutes and already had managed to piss me off. That had to be a record.

  “Why are you here?” All pretense of friendliness had dropped from my voice. I may be pretending to be human, but if Marshall thought he could walk in and harass us all, he’d walk out of here missing a few of his memories.

  “I’m trying to understand what happened to Orpheus. We all know what happened in that house cannot be explained by mundane means. To avoid a panic, we’ve planted a story in the media about spontaneous combustion, which honestly is ridiculous. But it’s better than widespread panic or ridicule over whatever woo-woo things went on in that house. Then I have three jokers stumble into a crime scene and mysteriously disappear from my locked patrol cars. A fact, by the way, that was left out of the press reports.”

  Artie chimed in, her voice dripping with sarcasm. “Now we can’t have the Asheville police force looking bad, could we?”

  I sighed. Wrong thing to say to Marshall. We really needed to work on our human interpersonal skills.

  Marshall’s face turned red and he opened up his mouth to speak, but I interrupted him. “The less the press knows about everything, the better.” I gave a meaningful look to Artie and Hermes, mentally willing them to remember our discussion yesterday about letting Marshall in on some of our secrets. This had the potential to be good, or very, very bad for our continued existence.

  “Here’s the thing, Marshall. Do you believe in magic?” I held my breath, sure he’d laugh himself right out of our kitchen.

  Instead, his face took on a thoughtful look. “Magic?” he echoed. “Like tarot cards or something?”

  “Tarot cards aren’t magic, Marshall. They’re an intuitive tool. I’m talking about snap your fingers, turn someone into a toad kind of magic.” I watched his face, wondering if I were taking the right path.

  “I’m not sure. I’ve been in law enforcement for fifteen years now. I’ve seen some unexplainable things, but one of the weirdest was seeing three people do a disappearing act in front of twenty police officers.”

  “Exactly,” I said. I didn’t really want to dwell on our disappearance, but figured he had the right to know since we were going to be explaining other things to him.

  “How well-versed are you in mythology?” I continued.

  “Myth and magic? Now who’s crazy?”

  “Ha. Crazy like a fox,” I said. “Yes, myth and magic. Think back to your college literature classes and the Greek mythology you were taught. Would you believe you’re standing in the same kitchen with Artemis, Hermes, and Aphrodite?”

  His brows snapped downward and his generous mouth twisted. “No, I would not believe that.”

  Artemis sucked in her breath. “Abby, do you think this is still a good idea?”

  “It’s the only thing we have, Artie. I don’t know how else we can get out of the situation we’re in right now without it.”

  Marshall looked between us, but he couldn’t contain his anger. “I’m not a fool, ladies. And I don’t appreciate you taking me for one.”

  I didn’t know how else to convince him. I snapped my fingers, felt the sluggish magic awaken inside of me, and disappeared.

  His sharp intake of breath told me he was beginning to listen. I waited a few moments before I snapped my fingers again and reappeared in front of him.

  He sputtered and attempted to come up with something to express his surprise, but all he could say was, “How?”

  I bowed mockingly. “You are in the presence of gods, Marshall. Aphrodite at your service.”

  “Guess you just explained how you managed to get out of our cars,” he said wryly.

  Marshall walked over to the kitchen table and sat down. I pretended not to notice how shaky his legs were. His fingers curled around his mug protectively, as if it were the only thing he was sure about.

  Hermes watched with an impassive face. I couldn’t tell how he felt about my actions and the fact I had again, this time knowingly, exposed our secrets to a human. Artie looked defeated and gave me a sympathetic glance. I could feel the solidarity in that look and knew if we were going down, we’d go together.

  Marshall cleared his throat. “So…Orpheus of the Greek persuasion. No ordinary murder, huh?”

  He was one quick cookie. “Nope. He was in possession of one of the most famous Greek relics we have – the Apples of Hesperides.”

  Marshall’s eyebrows rose. “The Apples? I don’t remember much about them, but don’t they offer immortality to the person who possesses them?”

  Seemed like Marshall may have been a good student. Not many people knew about the apples or their intended purpose. “Exactly,” I said. “But a goddess has stolen them and we can’t figure out why.”

  “I’m assuming this goddess is immortal. The question begs to be answered – why would she need them if she already had eternal life? Unless…” He stopped and a thoughtful expression crossed his face.

  “Unless what?” I asked.

  “Unless the apples have another purpose.” He was thinking along the same lines as we had been, but he was the one least likely to know what that purpose was. If there were a secondary purpose for the apples, one of us three should know it. It was a secret heavily guarded, but if anyone knew, it was probably Zeus. Assuming he’d tell us anything at all.

  “Abby, how am I supposed to explain any of this to my men?”

  That was a question I didn’t have the answer for. We could assist him, but it would mean wiping out the memories and records of the murder. It would be a monumental task because the story had already been released to the press. Asheville citizens and those from the surrounding area already knew something suspicious had happened. Erasing those memories from everyone would require time we didn’t have and the possibility of bringing even more attention to ourselves.

  “I think it might be best not to say anything at all and approach the investigation in a more mundane way. Bring in forensics or whatever else you need to start looking into the crime. In the meantime, Hermes, Artie, and I can continue looking into the matter and attempting to recover the apples.”

  And find Eurydice, I added to myself. I hadn’t told Marshall about that yet and wasn’t sure I would. He was already heavily involved in this. The less he knew, the more likely it would save his life once Zeus found out. It was only a matter of time before that occurred, especially since we’d need to approach Zeus soon with our findings.

  Marshall walked over to place his mug in the sink. He wiped his hands on one of my towels and turned to face us. His arms crossed his chest in a defiant manner.

  “So you want me to deceive my department? The one where I’ve worked for fifteen years to build a reputation as a rational and competent leader?”

  When he put it that way… “Yes,” I sighed. “I know this can’t be easy for you. You didn’t ask to get mixed up in this; it just happened to get dumped on your doorstep. I can guarantee we will be out of your hair as soon as possible. I have less than two weeks to get this straightened out. Once it’s over, you have my word you won’t see any of us again.”

  He closed his eyes, a myriad of emotions crossing his handsome face. “Who’s to say the best option’s not dragging all of you in for suspicion of murder?”

  I grinned. “You can certainly try, but you’d have to catch us first.”

  I exchanged glances with Hermes and Artie, still sitting stoically at the bar, and waggled my eyebrows. We all blinked out of the kitchen, leaving the officer standing there with his mouth open.

  9

  Chapter Nine

  We were sitting on a bench outside of the Biltmore Mansion. SpongeBob jammies had been replaced with da
rk wash blue jeans and a fitted pink blouse. Artie looked très chic and not like we were embarking on a paranormal scavenger hunt.

  Hermes, on the other hand, resembled an Abercrombie ad. I hadn’t thought he could tone it down, even if he made an effort. He looked casual – a deceptive look when one knew how much lethal grace he possessed if the situation called for it. Of course, I could be biased, but he looked yumalicious.

  I smiled, proud both of them were on my side. I wondered if Marshall were looking for us and how he had managed to find us the first time. I had spent years hiding from people while I was living on Olympus, but I must not have done a very good job this time if a small town cop had managed to wrangle us all up. Unless someone had told him where we were.

  Ridiculous, I thought. The only people who knew I was here happened to be in Olympus. There was no way anyone else was working with Marshall, especially since he was mortal. It was suspicious, though, and something I tucked back in my mind to delve over later. If he managed to find us this time, Marshall would be answering some tough questions. I could get on board with him having some mad skills, though. He’d pegged us as weirdoes almost as soon as he’d met us. It wasn’t that far out of the box to assume he was one of the best when it came to police work.

  Lost in our thoughts, we sat there for a while, content to breathe in the clean mountain air. Hermes spoke first.

  “I need to leave, Abby. Time is of the essence. Once we find out about Eurydice, we can report back to Zeus and get the entire story.”

  Artie snorted. “Good luck with that. Zeus only gives you the whole story when it benefits him. If word gets out about the theft of the apples, it would make him look incompetent. I can’t imagine he would give us more information than necessary.”

  I didn’t agree with Artie. It was true Zeus had a strong sense of self-preservation, but if the apples could be used for more than immortality, he would have a vested interest in seeing the relics returned safely and as soon as possible. He would have to trust someone. I believed he had placed that trust in me and Artie. I wasn’t so sure how he’d feel about Hermes helping us out.

  Ares also had earned the trust of Zeus, an event that signaled a strange turn of events indeed. Many suspected Ares had enough power to rival Zeus, something no one said aloud for fear of a painful and gruesome death. They were in some sort of strange dance of power and had been for the last thousand or so years. I wasn’t fool enough to believe Ares would be content to let Zeus rule forever, but for now things seemed to be balancing on a razor’s edge.

  “My father is a lot of things, Artie, but he is a wise man.” It was a slight rebuke. Artie reddened but said nothing. “He may not have given Abby the entire story, but I don’t doubt there was a reason for it. If we approach him now with all of the incriminating information we have, I think that Father will come around to our way of thinking. As gods, we all know how important information is. But Zeus is the father of all. His way is vastly different than others because of what can be at stake. If he is concerned, and from the way the past day’s events have transpired, I believe he is, he will share. Maybe only because his arm is being twisted, but he will tell us what we need to know. If he does not, the agreement between him and Abby is null. He would never willingly give up a pawn if he could help it.”

  Null? Well, color me tickled. That was a caveat I hadn’t thought about. Hermes was a man of information. “How’d you come across that information?” I doubted he would tell me, but he was feeling awfully chatty this morning. Maybe I’d get lucky.

  He grinned at me, seeming to know exactly what I was thinking. “Daddy dearest has his ways, but he is not unfair.”

  Huh? I begged to differ. I recalled lots of ways he had been unfair. Seeing my look of disbelief, he continued. “He has similarities to Christianity’s version of the devil. But whereas Satan is portrayed as the ultimate evil, Father falls in between. He is not entirely good, yet not entirely evil, either. He is gray. Yet he has a strong code of ethics. The way he gets there may not be fair, but he will not throw someone into a battle to the death unless he either knows that person will survive or they have been responsible for heinous deeds.”

  Hermes had been chatting up the big guy and had failed to tell us. I tried to be angry with him, but found I couldn’t, mostly because he was coming clean now. “So, he doesn’t think Eris is the personification of evil?”

  He chuckled. “No parent can believe a child is evil until good evidence has been given to him. What Eris did the first time was try to take over Olympus. It was a power play – a flexing of the muscles, if you will, and if I had to guess, I’d say Zeus admired her brass for trying it.”

  I could see that. I’d gotten mouthy a couple of times with Zeus and instead of getting fried with a lightning bolt, it had seemed to amuse him. I didn’t try to take over Olympus, but who was I to say how a parent should react when a child does something crazy?

  “I’ll have to take your word for it, Hermes. You can bet I won’t be forgetting about that loophole, either. Is there a mysterious contract I don’t know about? I didn’t sign anything.” This whole thing kept getting weirder.

  Artie chose that moment to pipe up with her wisdom. “There’s no contract. Sounds like some weird personal code of honor. Save that knowledge until you’re one hundred percent sure you’ll need it.”

  She could bet on it. Although, if Eris killed me, I wouldn’t have to worry about any of this. The macabre thought sent a sliver of ice down my spine.

  Hermes stood up and I couldn’t stop my reaction to him. He was everything Ares was not, but I didn’t know how we could ever make a relationship work. Not that he had said anything, of course. One of my faults was always thinking about love, no matter how dire the situation was. My thoughts drifted back to Marshall and my reaction to him. He was a beautiful man, but he could never be mine. I wondered if he were married or had any children. My gut told me no, not that it should matter. I had a lot more on my plate to worry about than the marital status of a mortal. And since when did I have morals? Maybe I did need to move back to Olympus. I was getting soft in my old age.

  “When do you plan on coming back?” I needed to make sure I stayed within the time table but also needed to make sure I talked to Zeus in enough time to solve this thing. I didn’t know what we were going to do about Eris. I wasn’t known for being a warrior. That was more Ares’ area, and he was nestled back in Olympus right now. No doubt he was watching me, chuckling every time I made a misstep.

  “I think it will be at least two days. I need to make sure the questions I ask don’t arouse suspicion. Staying for more than a day will ease people’s minds.”

  It certainly wouldn’t help me, I thought. Waiting for him to come back would be excruciating. My time was ticking away but I knew it was a necessary delay for us. Hermes was our best way to see how far off the edge Eris had fallen and if she had taken Eurydice with her.

  “I also have a surprise for you and Artie.”

  I glanced at him sharply and noticed Artie had lowered her glasses to stare at him. “A surprise?” I echoed. I wasn’t fond of surprises. They weren’t all that fun when one of the Olympus gods was responsible for it. Their sense of humor bordered between diabolical and psychotic.

  Hermes laughed aloud at my look. “Relax,” he said. “I don’t want you and Artie out here by yourselves, so I brought someone else in to watch over you.”

  I bristled at that. We didn’t need a babysitter. Artie’s expression didn’t change, but her eyes flashed fire. She leaned against the bench, flinging her arm over the back and challenging Hermes with a stare.

  “Oh, really?” she said. “It’s nice to see women’s lib still hasn’t made its way to Olympus.”

  Hermes appeared unruffled. “Ladies, ladies.” He held up his hands in a placating gesture. “I haven’t given away your secret.”

  He walked over to one of the numerous oak trees on the property and called, “Keto. Come on out. The ladies are nice an
d angry so it’s my time to leave.”

  Keto? I jumped up from the bench in time to see the familiar stride of my old friend as he appeared from behind the tree. We’d only been gone a couple of days, but I’d missed him like mad all the same. I ran toward him and launched myself into his arms. Deep laughter rumbled in his chest and he circled lanky arms around me and squeezed.

  “I can’t believe you’re so unenthusiastic about seeing me.”

  I laughed and punched him on the arm. “It’s good to see you, Bird Man.”

  “The same.” He may have been talking to me, but his eyes found Artie’s and stayed there.

  I couldn’t tell anything from the look on her face, but the eye contact between them was intense. Something was up with those two. If I had to hogtie her later, I was going to get to the bottom of that mystery. Artie stood from the bench and sauntered over.

  “Keto,” she acknowledged.

  His eyes twinkled and he winked at me. At least someone knew the jig was up. You couldn’t fool the Goddess of Love for long. “Artie,” he said and held out his hand for her. Artie’s step quickened. She enfolded herself in his arms and rested her cheek against his shoulder, her arms tight around him.

  As they stood there, for a moment none of us were there. Then I felt Hermes’ gaze on me. My heart quickened. The look in his eyes was enough for speech to fail me. I cleared my throat, uncomfortable with his perceptiveness and the heat between us.

  Hermes saved me from saying something dumb. “Keto, I appreciate you coming out. I don’t have time to catch you up on everything because I have to head back to Olympus. I’ll leave that honor to Artie and Abby. Seems like you may have more catching up to do with one than the other.”

  Keto and Hermes shared wide grins. Gross. I didn’t want to think about my two dearest friends doing anything other than drinking coffee together. Artie unfolded herself from Keto’s arms and laughed. “You two stop it.” A flush darkened her cheeks and she offered me a sheepish smile.

  “We’ll talk later, Aphro.”